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AN: Hey there, sorry this took so long again, I blame Physics. Time is relative, and whenever I wanted to work on this time just disappeared. I am now beefing with time, which will only end well. As you may know, I recently posted this on Ao3.
Minnesota is weird. For most of the winter there was no snow, and now a few inches accumulated on Wednesday night, and will more than likely disappear before a week is gone. Heck, there's been more salt on campus than snow, although that might just be because my college over salts everything. I'm pretty sure salting the earth is a war crime though, so if a school gets shut down by the UN or something, you know who to blame.
In other news, I managed to get on the Dean's list for my first semester, which is pretty poggers. Well, that's all I wanted to talk about, so please enjoy the chapter.
Beta'd by the stupendous Sora
[sora]
(Author)
Discord: https: //discord.gg /eSSP2GtYQS
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Technoblade hums a song to himself as he prepares some soup. "Hmm hm, somethin' something, oh my, all I know is everybody loves me! Head down, hmm hmm hm hmm." Techno finishes the soup and carries it into the living room where Phil is buried under a pile of blankets and wearing an ice pack as a hat and watching TV. "Soup's on, old man."
Phil glares half-heartedly at Techno. "Set it on the table." He grumbles through a stuffed up nose. Techno sets the steaming soup down next to his old man, stirring it slightly. Phil continues to watch some mindless reality TV. Techno wordlessly hands Phil the spoon, and the birdman begins to eat.
A breaking news splash card appears on the TV and Toby Determined begins breaking down the news. "We interrupt this program to bring you breaking news. Well tonight's the night, but I've been out here for days! The Northwest family's annual high-society-shindig-ball-soiree is here! And even though common folk aren't let in, that doesn't stop us from camping out for a peek at the fanciness."
[ngl, I completely forgot the timeline of episodes and where in the show we were at till now lmao]
Phil rolls his eyes. "I see the Northwest's are still snooty." He comments before coughing.
"Oh yeah, I kinda forgot you're so old you know everyone in the area." Techno nods.
"You're lucky I'm sick"
"Yeah, yeah." Techno waves off. Phil grumbles out something about ungrateful brats before Wilbur rushes in, shortly followed by Tommy.
"My ghost senses are tingling!" Wilbur exclaims.
"Your what?!" Tommy asks.
"My ghost senses! Like spidey-senses, but for ghosts."
"What, did you get bit by a ghost?" Tommy snarks.
"Children." Phil warns hoarsely.
"No, no, listen. There's a ghost there," Wilbur gestures towards the news, showing an outside view of the Northwest Mansion. "and it's powerful."
"Seems like a good reason to leave it alone, then." Phil says.
"No, Phil, it could need our help." Wilbur protests.
"I don't trust you to go without supervision."
"What? You don't trust me!?" Wilbur cries dramatically. Phil looks into his eyes, unimpressed. "Fine, I'll bring Tommy with."
"That doesn't help." Phil replies. "In fact, that makes it worse."
Ignoring Tommy's offended sputtering, Wilbur comes up with a counter-offer. "What if Techno comes with us?"
'There's no way Techno'll go with them.' Phil thinks to himself. "Sure." He agrees. "If you can convince Techno to watch you, you and Tommy can go investigate."
Techno shoots a betrayed look at Phil as Wilbur and Tommy turn on him.
"Techno, my friend, would you like to come with us?" Tommy asks, the very picture of innocence.
"Nah."
"We would need you to distract all the rich people while we poke around." Wilbur says. "You would, of course, need a disguise. Maybe some really rich person..."
Techno's ears perk up. "Ah, you mean like Billiam."
"Yeah!" Tommy cheers.
"What do you say, Techno, wanna troll some rich people?" Wilbur adds.
[*low quality trollage.mp4*]
"Indeed. Think Ranboo wants to come with?" Techno agrees.
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Preston Northwest stands at the entrance to his home, welcoming the diverse group of visitors into his (not so) humble abode. There was a minor issue elsewhere in the mansion, but the appropriate authority had already been called to deal with it.
"Welcome, dukes and duchesses, sultans, and sportsmen. And, reclusive 102-year-old mayor of Gravity Falls, Mayor Befufflefumpter." Preston greets. A trio of vultures begin circling the mayor.
"It's okay, they're with me." The mayor reassures.
"Tonight we will enjoy only the finest of tastes and only the snootiest of laughter." Preston continues his speech as one of his guests laughs in the snootiest of manners. "That's the ticket!" Preston praises as members of his staff applaud in the background.
Preston mingles with his guests and keeps them enjoying them the party. The party represents Northwest excellence, and thus far it has proven true. Preston grabs a glass of champagne for himself when he notices a richly dressed man with gaudy pink hair and a black masquerade mask on his face standing next to a wall, looking at one of the tapestries depicting some ancient god of the natives or some such nonsense. The Northwest Patriarch attempts to place the stranger, but is unable to.
Preston waves down one of the serving staff. "Who is that man?" He asks, gesturing to the pink haired figure.
"I don't know sir, shall I check the guest book?"
"No. I will go investigate myself." Preston declares before turning to glare at the manservant. "You will, of course, have your pay docked for your failure to memorize the guest book."
"Very well sir."
Preston strides across the room towards the unknown entity. When he draws close enough, Preston offers salutations.
"Hello my good sir. How is the party favoring you this evening?" Preston asks.
"Ah, Mr. Northwest! An excellent party, truly. I mean no offense, but I must question the amount of multi-millionaires, they are barely rich."
A grin split Preston's face. Here was, truly, a man after his own heart. "Charity, I assure you. Good wait staff must come from the proper bloodlines, or else you may as well give all your riches to the poor!" Preston laughs at the absurdity of that statement, the stranger laughing along with him.
"That is true, but it does rob you of one of the simple joys in life: After all, if the help is too rich they get rights." The man responds.
"True, but what of payment?" Preston agrees.
"My head butler lives inside my mansion, in the cellar of course, and I pay for his meals. In return, he shows me absolute devotion. And, of course, I withhold meals if he misbehaves."
Preston reaches out and grasps the stranger's hand. "I believe this may be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. I'm afraid I didn't catch your name?"
"I am Sir Billiam III." Billiam responds, giving Preston a hearty handshake. Another of the guests approached the pair, clothes slightly dingy and stinking of brandy. "Ah, James! My old friend! How's the business?" Blliam greets happily.
"I-it..." James slurs drunkenly.
"How's the wife?"
"Divorced."
"How's the family?"
"Gone."
Billiam looks James dead in the eyes for a few seconds before he comments, "It's hard to talk to you."
James stumbles off to find more drink as Preston looks worriedly after him.
"Who was that? Is it safe for him to be here? He won't try and rob us, right?" Preston questions Billiam, not frantically at all.
"Of course not: He's an old friend. He's recently gone through a divorce, as you heard, and the court awarded most of his wealth and property to his wife. Ridiculous! I fail to see how using the fact that his father-in-law worked for him to force a marriage could be considered unlawful. His father-in-law wasn't even a millionaire, why would he have rights?"
"I blame the liberals: things were so much better when divine right was still recognized." Preston declares.
Billiam chuckles at that. "How right you are, my friend. How right you are. I believe we need a toast to commemorate our friendship. BUTLER! FETCH ME SOME WINE!"
Preston winces at Billiam's volume before a butler appears from behind a pillar, sprinting as fast as he can go. The butler stops next to Billiam and Preston, offering the two of them wine.
"10 whole seconds." Billiam clicks his tongue before issuing a punishment. "No food for two weeks. Now, get out of here; I don't want to look at you."
Preston smells the wine, allowing the aroma to wash over him. "A starch base, low alcohol content, slightly sugared, and a hint of berry?"
"Incredible, you truly have an expert palate to discern all of that from a single sniff." Billiam compliments. "This is from a 1546 vintage, from property I recently acquired in Italy."
Preston sips the wine lightly. "Might I inquire as to the name of your property? I simply must acquire some of this wine for my next hosting event."
"I shall do you one better." Billiam replies. "BUTLER!" The butler runs in from an entirely different direction, carrying three bottles. Billiam grabs them from the butler and the butler runs off. "Here, as a gift. The company name is on the label."
Preston claps his hands and a trio of servants come to take the bottle. Preston takes one bottle, inspecting it. A prominent S.B.I. is emblazoned across the top, with the name of this particular flavor being 'Errico Malatesta.'. The graphic shows a well dressed man sipping from a wine glass overlooking grape fields.
Preston hands off the bottle to the remaining servant, not noticing various oddities. For one, the man drinking the wine and the man working the grape fields were wearing the same thing. In the background there was a black and red flag, and, hidden in the grape vines, was a series of revolutionary symbols.
"Thank you, my friend." Preston says. "What does S.B.I. stand for?"
"I am uncertain: something in Italian." Billiam answers.
The two ridiculously rich men continue to make small talk for hours.
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"Wilbur, this isn't gonna work." Tommy complains.
Tommy is currently buried under a pile of laundry in a hamper Wilbur is pushing towards the back entrance.
"Be quiet, Tommy!" Wilbur hisses as he pushes the cart towards the back door. "This is totally gonna work, I saw it in a movie once."
"We're gonna get caught, then we're gonna be hunted for sport 'cause that's what rich people do!" Tommy moans.
"Shh." Wilbur hushes reassuringly as the security guards step forward to confirm his identity.
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"How the fuck did that work?!" Tommy exclaims in one of the side rooms.
"Movie magic." Wilbur responds, changing out of his servant's uniform into his actual clothes.
"That shouldn't have worked." Tommy complains. "How did that work? It's never that easy to sneak in! Those guards didn't even check the laundry, they're fucking amateurs!"
Wilbur stills. "They are incompetent, aren't they?" He says slowly, clearly plotting something.
"Well, yeah! I mean, laundry is the oldest way to enter and exit without being caught! Stupid Americans."
"So, you're thinking they wouldn't notice things being... misplaced?"
Tommy snorts. "Them? Absolutely not. They're blind and see through echolocation. They're also deaf. Why?"
Wilbur picks up a golden candelabra and inspects it.
Tommy grins. "I like your style, crime boy." He compliments before shrieking and ducking a swipe from Wilbur.
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After... "relieving" the Northwest's of some minor trinkets, Wilbur and Tommy head further into the mansion to find the ghost.
"Wilburrrrr! I'm borrrrred!" Tommy complains, stealing more things as he walks.
"Silence, ya little gremlin. We're almost there." Wilbur says.
Before any further banter can be traded, more than likely Tommy calling Wilbur a bitch, the pair hear voices around the corner. They flatten against the wall, listening as the voices draw closer.
"Is it really necessary to have this large of a house?" A male voice asks.
"Yes, of course. You have to show your wealth, or it doesn't count." A female voice responds.
Tommy reaches for his sword, but his wrist is grabbed by Wilbur who shakes his head at Tommy.
"I don't think it works that way." The man responds.
"What would you know of how to use wealth? You probably don't even have a yacht."
"Why would I need a yacht?"
"Why wouldn't you need a yacht?"
Wilbur clears his throat as he walks around the corner, dragging Tommy with him by the scruff of his neck. Two children are around the corner, a boy in a tuxedo and a girl in a sea-foam green dress.
"Wilbur?" The boy asks.
"Hey Techno-prentice." Wilbur greets.
"Who are those two homeless looking people?" Pacifica asks.
"Who is this sassy lost child?" Tommy asks rhetorically.
Pacifica fumes and begins to respond, but before she can do anything than sputter a little, Wilbur pats Tommy on the head.
"Good job Tommy, for once you didn't swear in front of a child!" Wilbur exclaims excitedly.
"Fuck you, Bitch!" Tommy retorts.
Dipper sighs heavily before introducing the pair. "Wilbur and Tommy. Wilbur was previously a ghost, which is what I'm presuming you're here for?"
"Yep, I sensed some ghostly shi- stuff, and came to investigate."
"Wait, you were a ghost?" Pacifica questions, clearly skeptical.
Wilbur shrugs. "I got better."
"You- I- what?" Pacifica stutters, her brain unable to process how one can get better from death.
"Now!" Wilbur exclaims, rubbing his hands together. "Where's this ghost?"
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"Whoa." Dipper gasps as he eases open a door. Inside the room is a pool table, a fireplace, a stuffed bear... and many, many trophy mounts ranging from a mouse to a moose. The fireplace gives off a flickering red light, which only serves to make the room creepier and cast flickering shadows across a painting of a lumberjack above the fireplace. The only other potential source of light in the room was an antler chandelier that was not lit.
"This is the main room where it's been happening." Pacifica says as she follows Dipper into the room. Wilbur and Tommy enter behind the children.
Wilbur deadpans at her. "No, really?"
Pacifica blushes slightly in embarrassment. "Shut up!"
"Yep, this looks like the kind of room that would be haunted, all right. I wouldn't be worried, though." Dipper says, opening the journal. "Ghosts fall on a ten-category scale. Floating plates sound like a Category 1."
"So what? Are you gonna bore him back into the afterlife by reading from this book?" Pacifica asks snarkily.
"Just gotta splash this sucker with some anointed water, and he should be out of your," Dipper starts before mumbling, "probably-fake blonde hair."
"What was that about my hair?" Pacifica screeches.
"Hey, let me try talking to the ghost before you resort to violence." Wilbur protests.
"Shh! I'm picking something up." Dipper interrupts, grabbing one of his devices from his back pack. He follows the readings to directly in front of the painting when it abruptly loses signal. "C'mon, stupid thing." Dipper groans, tapping the device. "There we go." Dipper says, looking up at the empty painting.
"Uh, Pacifica?" Dipper asks, backing away slowly from the vacant frame.
Tommy whispers to Wilbur excitedly. "This is some real Scooby-doo shit! I'm glad I grabbed that disc."
"What disc?" Wilbur asks in mild concern.
"Don't worry about it." Tommy reassures, bumping Wilbur's concern up from mild to incredible. Before Wilbur can ask any more questions, however, the tense silence of the room is ripped apart by a shrill scream.
Pacifica backs away from the puddle on the ground, following the droplets of blood up to their source. Every single mounted head was dripping blood through their orifices, pooling on the ground. The fire in the fireplace blazes as the heads begin to chant "ANCIENT SINS.", gargling slightly on the blood in their mouths. Books begin to fly out of their shelves, and a localized thunderstorm begins to form around the chandelier.
"Dipper, what is this?!" Pacifica screams.
"It's a Category 10." Dipper answers faintly.
The flask of anointed water shatters, causing Dipper, Pacifica, and Tommy to scream.
"Shit." Wilbur summarizes the situation eloquently.
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Pacifica is holding onto Dipper for dear life while Tommy hides behind Wilbur as the heads change their chant.
"ANCIENT BLOOD AND BLACKENED SKIES. THE FOREST DARK SHALL ONCE MORE RISE."
Pacifica begins to shake Dipper by the collar. "What do we do, what do we do?!"
"Don't worry. It can't get worse than this!" Dipper reassures her as Wilbur face palms. Naturally, the forces of reality and nature took this as a challenge, and decided to make things worse.
The fire flares up once again, but this time a flaming, skeletal arm reaches out. It is soon followed by another arm and a skull with an axe embedded in its forehead. Flesh begins to form from the bones, wrapping around the spirit. Dipper and Pacifica scream while diving under the pool table. They were most certainly not joined by Tommy, as he beat them there.
Wilbur shakes his head wryly at the children hidden under the table. Focusing his attention back on the skeleton, it was now forming clothes over its skin. The spirit looked a little silly clean-shaven, but Wilbur would never say that out loud.
"I smell... A NORTHWEST!" The ghost yells, materializing an axe and a flaming blue beard.
"Hello." Wilbur greets calmly, noting to tell the ghost not to shave.
"YOU!... are not a Northwest. What are you doing here?" The ghost asks in confusion.
"I heard there was a ghost, and wanted to offer some help in the psychological department. I do have some experience in the field." Wilbur explains.
The ghost snorts. "What experience?" He inquires, clearly not expecting much of a response.
"Well, I was a ghost previously." Wilbur states serenely. "And I know how diffi-"
The ghost interrupts him. "You were a ghost? How can one be a ghost in the past but be alive in the present?" The spirit asks, confused by the lack of a lie emanating from Wilbur despite the obvious impossibility of the statement.
"Yep, I was a ghost. See-through; mildly traumatized; not all there mentally; I checked off all the boxes.
"But how did you return to life?" The ghost demands.
"It's quite simple, really: My brother bullied time while life and death were both sympathetic to my blight."
"What does that even mean?!"
"I think that's enough about me." Wilbur suggests gently. "I am here to help you, after all."
"What?"
"Yep, I'm here to talk you down from your murderous rage and introduce you to the perks of being a ghost." Wilbur says, grabbing a pamphlet from who knows where.
"Talk me down?" the ghost repeats. "That means... YOU'RE WITH THE NORTHWESTS!" He swings his axe, barely missing Wilbur but destroying the pool table. "NORTHWEST!"
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Under the table, Pacifica shakes Dipper's arm. "Hurry! Read through your dumb book already!"
"Yeah, what the rich lady said!" Tommy agrees.
"I'm looking! And it's not dumb, okay? This book is gonna save our lives! Alright, here we go. Advice:" Dipper pauses, holding up a black light to see what secrets the author had left in invisible ink. The section under advice held three simple words: Pray for mercy. "Aww, seriously?!" Dipper complains before the pool table is suddenly shattered in a multitude of pieces.
"NORTHWEST!" the ghost screams in rage. "YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE COME HERE!"
"Run!" Tommy screams, reaching for something in his pocket as he shoots to his feet. Wilbur reaches down and grabs the other before the quartet begin running.
"This way!" Pacifica directs, leading them through her house. Tommy slows down slightly, still searching his pocket for whatever it is.
"Tommy, keep up!" Wilbur yells at the gremlin child.
"Yeah, yeah. I got it!" Tommy cheers, holding up a music disc. They run past a record player and Tommy throws the record in such a way that it lands perfectly and begins to play. Tommy, when he learned there was going to be a ghost, had an idea, a simple plan really. And as they flee for their lives, music begins to echo through the mansion.
"What's new scooby doo?
[HELL YEA, WE VIBIN NOW!]
We're coming after you
We're going to solve that mystery
I see you Scooby Doo
The trail leads back to you
What's new Scooby Doo?"
Wilbur sighs dramatically "You didn't"
"I did." Tommy grins.
[he did]
"What's new Scooby Doo?
We're gonna follow you
We're going to solve that mystery
We see you scooby doo
We're coming after you
What's new Scooby Doo?"
The group runs into a hall with multiple doors on each side. "Split up!" Wilbur orders. Tommy and Wilbur go into one room, Dipper and Pacifica go into another, the ghost goes into a third. The ghost appears chasing Wilbur and Tommy out a fourth door, then is chased by Dipper and Pacifica.
"Don't look back, you may find another clue
The scooby snacks, will be waiting here for you"
The ghost is chasing all four before they split, each going into a different room. The ghost checks one room and it's empty, but further down Tommy runs across the hall. The ghost rushes to check that door, but misses Tommy as Dipper runs across the hall elsewhere.
"What's new Scooby Doo?
We're coming after you
We're going to solve that mystery
I see you scooby doo
The trail leads back to you
What's new Scooby Doo?"
The ghost rushes into the room Dipper entered, but once again doesn't see anything. Just before he goes to check another door, a sneeze draws his attention to the top of some bookshelves, where Tommy has an embarrassed look on his face, Dipper and Pacifica are terrified, and Wilbur just looks done.
"NORTHWEST!" The ghost yells.
The foursome run past him, causing the ghost to spin in place for a few seconds.
"Na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na
What's new Scooby Doo?"
The music ends as the quartet reach an ornate doorway.
"Hurry! Through the garden! Watch out for peacocks!" Pacifica yells.
"Peacocks?" Tommy asks in disbelief before Dipper runs into one. The peacock, who is most certainly a peacock and not a turkey disguised as one, swears violently at them. Fortunately no one can understand what is said as it was speaking Turkey-ish. Why was it speaking turkey-ish when it was a peacock? I don't know. But it must be a peacock, or else the Northwests would be frauds. And we all know the Northwests aren't frauds.
[i'm bouta rewatch the episode with the eyes of a hawk istg]
As they run, their feet get muddy. The ghost, of course, does not have such weaknesses. Dipper frantically flips through the journal, trying to find anything that will help. "Come on, come on..." Dipper prays. "I got it! A haunted painting can only be trapped in a silver mirror."
"where are we gonna find a silver mirror, though!?" Tommy despairs.
"There's one." Wilbur says, pointing. Tommy glares at him.
They start to run towards the room, but Pacifica grabs Dipper while yelling stop. "Don't go in there! This room has my parents' favorite carpet pattern! They'll lose it if we track mud in there!"
"What? Are you serious?!" Dipper asks incredulously, trying to force his way past her.
"We'll find another way!" Pacifica begs. Dipper looks like he's going to break past, but Wilbur rests a hand on his shoulder.
"We'll find another way." He says. Dipper sighs but agrees and the quartet is off again.
"Wilby, what the fuck?" Tommy hisses.
"I think she's being-" Wilbur starts before cutting himself off. "I think Dad might have someone new to adopt."
Tommy instantly realizes what Wilbur is suggesting. "Shit. Well, it'll be nice to have a rich sibling for once." Wilbur rolls his eyes and shoves Tommy playfully, accidentally sending him through a painting.
"Shit, Tommy, you okay?" He asks, causing Dipper and Pacifica to stop beside him.
"Yeah, there's a lot of shiny things in here. What is this place?" Tommy asks through the painting. Dipper and Wilbur look at Pacifica.
"I don't know." She says in confusion. "That room isn't on any of the blueprints."
The calm is broken by the ghost's laughter. "I KNOW YOU'RE CLOSE! COME OUT, COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE!"
Thinking quickly, Wilbur grabs the two children and tosses them through the painting before diving in after them.
The ghost stomps past, seemingly having lost them. The room is dark and dusty, painted like the sky. There are many paintings covered by sheets and several boxes.
"This is weird." Pacifica mutters. "I don't even know where this is."
"Hopefully the ghost doesn't either." Dipper mutters, not at all annoyed about the earlier silver mirror incident.
"Yeah, maybe we're safe." Pacifica says. Naturally, this was too much of a challenge for the forces of reality's tastes, so one of the many sheets stretches out in the form of the ghost and looms over Pacifica.
"Watch out!" Dipper screams at her as Wilbur steps forward to protect her.
Pacifica runs as the ghost chases her while taunting her. "YOUR FATE IS SEALED!" The ghost accidentally knocks over a box of dishes.
Dipper runs after them when notices something in the pile of dishes: a single silver mirror. Pacifica trips on a rug and the ghost looms over her. Wilbur stands between them, tensed and ready.
"PREPARE TO DIE, NORTHWEST!" The ghost cries, swinging down with his axe. Wilbur pulls his sword and parries the axe. "WHAT!? YOU DARE GET IN MY WAY!?"
"You better believe I do, ghosty boy." Wilbur snarks.
"Whoo! Go Wilbur!" Tommy cheers from the sidelines as he runs to help Pacifica up.
The ghost's eyes glow with power. "VERY WELL THEN." He states before puffing up his beard. Just before the flames reach Wilbur he pulls out a shield. Unfortunately, the ghost continues to approach, and the shield begins to rapidly heat up.
"Hey ghost!" Dipper yells from behind him. The ghost turns and sees Dipper holding a silver mirror.
"NO!" he cries as he is pulled into the mirror's confines. Dipper drops the mirror as he helps Pacifica to her feet, Tommy having been waylaid by the flames.
"Did you get him?" Pacifica asks uncertainly. Dipper holds up the mirror, where the ghost is banging on the glass.
"NO! FREE ME!"
Tommy, Pacifica, and Dipper begin celebrating, and Pacifica ends up hugging Dipper in the excitement.
"We did it!" Pacifica cheers before realizing what she was doing. She backs off awkwardly and holds out some cash. "Can I pay you to pretend that never happened?" She all but begs. Dipper grabs the money, and the two of them try not to blush.
"Ah, young love." Wilbur sighs dramatically from the side. The two flush violently at the comment, which is not helped by Tommy.
"Good job lover boy!" He compliments, patting Dipper on the back. "Maybe one day you'll have as many women as me!"
.
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Wilbur and Tommy hide just outside the garden as Dipper and Pacifica go to collect his reward. Once they're alone, Pacifica, who looks to have been struggling with something since the hidden room, starts talking.
"Hey, Dipper? I- my parents kne-" She sighs, unable to get something off her chest. "I didn't tell my parents all you wanted was the tickets." She says, her tone somewhat dead.
"What do you mean?" Dipper asks.
"I mean, they're probably expecting to have to pay some money."
"Pacifica, are you suggesting we defraud your parents?" Dipper asks is disbelief. Pacifica nods. Dipper smiles. "I knew you were alright." Pacifica most certainly did not blush at the comment, thank you very much.
.
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"Well, Pacifica, you really found the right man for the job." Preston says, snapping his finger. One of the servants begins to shake Dipper's hand. "Now, how much do we owe you?"
"Five-" Dipper starts saying five thousand before he is interrupted.
"Five hundred thousand? Very well, give the man his money." Preston says, gesturing forward another servant who has a briefcase full of cash.
"Wa-" Dipper protests before realizing that the Northwest's would probably think he was owed 5 million or something ridiculous. "Thank you, sir. I was just doing my job." Dipper turns to leave.
"Wait, leaving already? You're at the world's best party, dummy." Pacifica offers, most certainly not flirting, no. perish the thought. She would not fall in love with the peasant boy who treated her like a real person, and not some asset to be gained.
"Heh, I'd love to stay, but I've got a Category 10 ghost to dispose of." Dipper says, walking away backwards, directly into a pillar. "Aah! Heh heh... Category 10." Both Dipper and Pacifica laugh.
"So, how'd meeting the future in-laws go?" Wilbur asks as he and Tommy fall in behind Dipper as the trio begins heading towards the exit.
Dipper turns bright red and begins stuttering. "I- We- She- I-"
Tommy laughs uproariously, at least until Wilbur gets a glint in his eyes.
"Say, Tommy, to make Dipper feel better, why don't we tell him about your first flirting attempts?" Wilbur suggests, fighting to keep a smirk off of his face.
Tommy sobers immediately. "Don't you dare."
Wilbur continues to tease the children until they reach the back entrance. Right before Wilbur steps out, he smacks his forehead and runs back into the mansion. Dipper looks questioningly at Tommy who shrugs in response. Wilbur returns shortly, pushing a laundry cart.
Tommy is just as confused as Dipper at Wilbur's actions, until he remembers how they infiltrated the mansion to begin with. Tommy begins to laugh and tease Wilbur as the trio walks down to a wooded glen.
.
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Preston's night was going excellent. The movers and shakers of polite society were enjoying the party, and there would be many opportunities for some... insider trading later. In addition, the gifts being presented to the Northwests were all invaluable. Preston was also using the party to connect to Billiam.
Admittedly, when Preston was paying that riff-raff for the pest-removal, he had taken the opportunity to double-check the guest list. Strangely enough, Billiam wasn't on the list, but it was probably a clerical error. So long as Billiam didn't see the guest list and take offense, it would end well for all. Well, not for the fool who had missed the name, of course, but Preston was excited to test some new ideas on whoever made such an error.
"And that is how I became the largest producer of potatoes in the western hemisphere." Billiam finishes his most recent recounting of a recreation that got mildly out of hand. Preston claps politely with the surrounding guests.
"Are you certain? I am heavily involved in those fields, and believe I would know if there were any major competitors." One of the guests challenges Billiam. Preston stays where he is: If, however unlikely Billiam is a fake, being confronted by a multi-millionaire will show his true colors.
Billiam looks apathetically at the man who interrupted him. "Are you aware of how many small to medium companies work in that sector?"
"Of course, that's wh-" The guest answers before Billiam interrupts.
"Then I have nothing more to say. Managing multiple companies is, after all, an effective way around those pesky anti-monopoly laws."
Preston smiles to himself, all lingering traces of doubt fully removed. Billiam was as he presented: a wealthy individual. Preston would have to figure out what Billiam enjoys later, a gift to bring the two of their families together would be most beneficial. Perhaps an arranged marriage... something to think about later.
[i'm sorry hwhat]
(I made Preston mustache-twirling levels of evil :) )
Preston is so caught up in his own head, he doesn't notice Billiam approaching until Billiam is standing next to him. "My friend, might I request a cup of tea with some honey? I have found myself quiet parched after socializing."
"Of course." Preston promises. "Any specific leaf?"
"Hmm, Yorkshire Gold, if you have it." Billiam responds. At Preston's confused look as too why he would want such a cheap tea, Billiam elaborates. "My mentor was British, and had fallen on hard times. Some of my happiest memories are of discussing with him over a cup of tea."
Preston nods, and orders one of the servants over. He was fairly certain there was a box of Yorkshire Gold leftover from when a family had been invited years ago. The family was never invited back, of course. Preston also notices the use of past tense for the mentor, and decides not to push into Billiam's private life. Besides, it was hardly Preston's place to insult someone for their guilty pleasures, what with his own.
The pair exchange small talk while waiting for the tea. Billiam doesn't seem to be paying full attention to the conversation, and instead seems to be paying more attention to a trio of young girls. Preston notes the attention for later before his mind wanders to his own guilty pleasures, a small cottage in the direction of Portland in case his wife ever got suspicious.
[god dammit now i'm curious]
(*cackles manically*)
The servant returns with the piping hot cup of tea with the specified amounts of sugar, honey, and cream. Billiam accepts the cup of tea and takes a sip before spitting it back out.
"You call this tea? This is hogwash!" Billiam yells at the servant. "I hesitate to even call it warm leaf water!"
"I'm sorry sir, but I used the leaves in the box and followed your directions." The servant replies, quaking in his boots.
Preston notices some strange looks coming towards the shouts, and attempts to diffuse the situation. "Why don't we investigate the box?" Preston is certain that the servant had messed up, but ever since a few labor laws were passed, he had to have a good reason to fire people rather than just firing them for the heck of it.
The trio walk towards the pantry, but Billiam hesitates at the threshold. Preston looks at him questioningly, and Billiam mutters something about feeling his net worth going down.
They enter the pantry and the servant holds up the box of Yorkshire gold. Billiam takes one look at the leaves. "These aren't Yorkshire gold!" He declares.
"These were the leaves in the box." The servant explains. "Did someone replace them?"
"But who could possibly want Yorkshire gold leaves? You would think they would steal one of the other teas." Preston ponders.
.
.
Wilbur is pushing the laundry cart behind Dipper while Tommy is digging through their ill-gotten gains. The trio is headed down towards a grove to decide the ghosts face.
"Why did you steal tea leaves?" Tommy asks, holding up a handful of the offending leaves.
"They were in a box called Yorkshire gold." Wilbur explained. "I figured since it had gold in the name it worth more than the other's like Da-Hong Pao or Panda Dung."
"Ew, who would want to drink something called Panda Dung?" Tommy asks rhetorically.
"Rich people." Wilbur answers sarcastically.
.
.
"So, what's your story?" Wilbur asks the ghost as he, Dipper, and Tommy sat in the grove.
"And why should I tell you?" The ghost demands.
"Because if you don't, or we don't think you can be reintegrated into society, we'll be forced to banish you." Wilbur explains cheerfully.
The ghost pales slightly and begins to explain. "One hundred and fifty years ago this day, the Northwests asked us lumber-folk to build them a mansion atop the hill. We were told t'would be a service to the town, that once a year they would throw a grand party, and all would share in the bounty. It took years of backbreaking labor and sacrifice, but when it was time for the grand party they promised the common folk of the town, they refused to let us in."
The ghost pauses for a moment before continuing. "With the trees gone, the mudslides began. While they partied and laughed, I was swept away by the storm! And so I said with final breath, "One-fifty years I'll return from death, and if the gate's still closed to town, wealthy blood will stain the ground!" A curse passed down until this day."
"So, wait a minute. The Northwests knew this haunting was coming, and they tricked me into helping them to avoid ghostly justice? ... I'll be right back." Dipper says, stalking back towards the mansion while leaving Wilbur and Tommy alone with the ghost.
.
.
"Thank you so much for coming, Mayor. As a sign of our respect, please take this chimp servant. Keep him away from bright lights, he gets... grabby." Preston says, presenting the mayor with a trained monkey.
"Northwests!" Dipper yells from outside, pushing open the doors and pointing an accusatory finger at Preston. "You've got some explaining to do!"
Pacifica rushes in excitedly from another room. "Dipper, you came back!"
Dipper turns his finger to her angrily. "You lied to me! All of you did! All you had to do was let the townsfolk into the party and you could've broken the curse! But you made me do your dirty work instead!"
Preston leans forward threatingly. "Look at who you're talking to, boy. I'm hosting a party for the most powerful people in the world. You think they'd come here if they had to rub elbows with your kind?"
"My kind?" Dipper repeats, simultaneously outraged and disbelieving anyone could be this cartoonishly nasty. He turns back to Pacifica. "I was right about you all along. You're just as bad as your parents. Another link in the world's worst chain!"
"I'm sorry, they made me! I should've told you, but-" Pacifica protests before being interrupted by her father ringing a bell. Pacifica steps back, embarrassed and furious with herself for folding so easily.
"Enjoy the party! It's the last time you and your kind will ever come." Preston declares. Dipper glares and begins to walk away. The chimp servant offers a tray of appetizers but Preston interrupts. "No no! Those aren't for him."
Dipper stalks away, sending one last glare back towards the Northwests.
.
.
"So, Will you free me?" The ghost asks Wilbur and Tommy from inside the mirror.
The brothers shoot looks at each other. "Do you promise to not go to that party up the hill and cause chaos?" Wilbur asks.
"Yes. Definitely. Absolutely." The ghost responds, crossing his fingers behind his back.
"Alright then." Tommy says, holding up a pickaxe and swinging down on the mirror. The mirror shatters and the ghost begins cackling maniacally before flying towards the mansion.
"Shit." Tommy swears.
"I think we may have fucked up." Wilbur states calmly. The pair waits a beat before rushing after the ghost.
.
.
Dipper stalks back towards the grove when he sees the ghost flying back towards the mansion. He pauses for a few seconds, just long enough for Wilbur and Tommy to run up to him.
"What happened?" Dipper asks.
"We may have made a small clerical error." Wilbur explains. Screams come from the mansion and the trio takes off.
.
.
The party has begun to wind down, and soon only those interested in business deals will still remain as chauffeurs arrive to cart of the wealthy. Preston taps a glass with a spoon to draw the guests attention for his farewell speech. "Thank you all for coming! I think we can all say this party was a rousing success."
"I guess you could say it was a slam dunk, Presto." A basketball player suggests.
"Yes, yes, I guess, sure." Preston responds unenthusiastically before becoming happier. "A toast! To our family name-" Preston is interrupted by glasses breaking and the sound of ghostly laughter. "What?!"
The ghost emerges from the fireplace behind Preston. "GENERATIONS LOCKED AWAY, MY REVENGE SHALL HAVE ITS DAY!" He shoots out a beam of bright blue light.
"Ah, the grim reaper! I'd been wondering when you would arri-- Aaah!" The mayor greets before the beam of light hits him and he turns to wood. The guests start to scream and run in circles while the ghost shoots more beams at anyone he can see. Taxidermy animals pull themselves off any walls or mounts and begin to herd the guests into the ghosts range.
Preston's wife runs up to him. "Preston, what are we going to do?"
"Prepare the panic room." Preston orders, punching a stuffed squirrel.
.
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Dipper forces the doors open again, followed by Wilbur and Tommy. As they step through, a guest slowly turns to stone while begging for help. Trees have begun to grow inside the mansion, slowly turning the interior into a forest.
"Whoa! That is messed up!" Dipper exclaims.
The ghost laughs as he shoots more beams. "JUST ONE WAY TO CHANGE YOUR FATES: A NORTHWEST MUST OPEN THE PARTY GATES!"
"A Northwest." Dipper mutters to himself before gasping. "Pacifica!" He notices a blinking light from behind a painting. Dipper runs to find his definitely not crush, not noticing that his companions didn't follow him.
The ghost had managed to turn every guest to wood except one. Despite how many beams the ghost threw at this last guest, the guest always managed to dodge out of the way.
"WHY! WON'T! YOU! BE! HIT!?" the ghost screams, punctuating each word with another beam.
"Being hit would decrease my net-worth, naturally." Billiam answers calmly.
"AAAARGH!" the ghost screams in rage as Wilbur and Tommy run next to Billiam.
"Hey Techno." Wilber says.
"Hallo." Techno greets back. "Friend of yours?" He asks, gesturing to the ghost.
"Eh, we offered to help him and he used the opportunity to come attack the rich." Wilbur responds.
"Understandable." Techno comments before dodging another blast. "I'd have done the same."
.
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Pacifica sits on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest and flashing her light on and off. Dipper bursts through the painting into the secret room. "Pacifica! There you are! The ghost is turning everyone to wood, and he just started rhyming, for some reason?" Dipper starts pulling on Pacifca's hand. "I need your help!" Pacifica pulls her hand away. "Pacifica?"
Pacifica responds despondently. "You wanna know why this room was locked up? This is what I found in here. A painted record of every horrible thing that my family's ever done. Lying, cheating, and then there's me. I lied to you just because I'm too scared to talk back to my stupid parents!" Pacifica takes her diamond earrings off and threw them against one of the many paintings depicting unethical events. "You were right about me. I am just another link in the world's worst chain."
Dipper sighs. "Pacifica, I'm sorry about what I said earlier. But just because you're your parents' daughter doesn't mean you have to be like them. It's not too late."
Pacifica sniffs. "Yeah, you're right. Let's go kick a ghosts butt!" Dipper smiles at her as the two charge back to the main hall.
.
.
Dipper and Pacifica enter the main hall and see Tommy, Wilbur, and Techno dodging beams while taunting the ghost. The main room has overgrown into a thick forest.
Dipper grabs a silver platter from a nearby table and hops up on it. "Alright ghost, prepare to get-" The journal is hit by a beam. "Ah! No, wait!" The ghost fires another beam at Dipper, but Dipper is able to block it with the platter. Unfortunately, the platter shatters.
Before the ghost can fire another beam, Techno leaps across the room and drags Dipper into cover.
"It matters not!" the ghost declares. "A forest of death, a lesson learned. And now the Northwest Manor will BURN!" The ghost causes flames to leap out of the fireplace and begin licking at the walls.
"No!" Wilbur yells, leaping at the ghost only to be hit head on by a beam and fall to the ground as a tree.
"Wilby!" Tommy screams, rushing next to his brother and holding him, even as the ghost turns him into wood.
Technoblade jumps onto the ghost and begins whailing on the ghost. Dipper dumps the punch bowl to try and stop the fire. The fire doesn't go out, and Techno is thrown from the ghost. The ghost lands in front of Techno and charges up his blast.
"Hey, ugly! Over here!" Pacifica yells next to the front door. "You want me to let in the townsfolk? 'Cause I'll do it! Just change everyone back!"
"YOU WISH TO PROVE YOURSELF? PULL THAT LEVER AND OPEN THE GRAND GATE TO THE TOWN! FULFILL YOUR ANCESTORS' PROMISE!" The ghost orders.
"Pacifica Elise Northwest, stop this instant!" Preston hisses. "We can't let the town see us like this! We have a reputation to uphold! Now come into the panic room. There's enough mini-sandwiches and oxygen to last you, me, and a butler a full week." He leans forward and whispers to Pacifica. "We'll eat the butler!"
Pacifca looks at the petrified bodies and reaches for the lever. "You dare disobey us?!" Preston demands in shock. He begins ringing a bell. Pacifica struggles to ignore the bell as she continues to reach for the bell. "Dingally dingally! Is this bell broken?!" Preston demands.
Pacifica stamps her foot. "Our family name is broken! And I'm gonna fix it!" She pulls the lever, opening the outer gates.
The citizens gasp as the lights from the mansion fall upon their faces.
Tyler Cutebiker steps forward. "Git it! Git it!" the citizens cheer as they march through the gate.
"YES, YES, IT'S HAPPENING! MY HEART, ONCE AS HARD AS OAK, now grows soft like more of a... birch, or something." The ghost celebrates. The guests regain their normal state as the forest fades back into the mansion. "Pacifica, you are not like the other Northwests. I feel... lumber justice." The ghost passes into the afterlife, disappearing completely.
The front doors rumble and then burst open, admitting the Gravity Fall's townsfolk into the party. The snacks swiftly disappear. Priceless paintings are spilled on, and the floor is scuffed.
"Good lord, the riffraff! They're everywhere!" Preston yells in dismay before turning on Pacifica. "Pacifica Elise Northwest! You are hereby banished from the Northwest Mansion!"
Pacifica looks at her father in shock. Preston turns away from her and storms off before noticing a few forks have been misplaced. "That's not how the fork should be placed!"
Pacifica stands frozen as Dipper walks up beside her. "Hey, are you okay? Pacifica?"
"I-I just got kicked out. I don't have a home anymore." Pacifica says emotionlessly. "I don't have home." She repeats, starting to cry.
"Whoa, hey, it's okay." Dipper reassures, hugging her. "We'll figure it out. You can- You can stay with me and Mabel!"
Pacifica sniffles. "Really?"
"I mean, I'll have to check with Stan, but he'll allow it. And if he doesn't, I'll ask Techno to house you."
"Okay." Pacifica agrees, walking with Dipper out of the house. Dipper still has his arms around Pacifica.
Wilbur and Tommy leave shortly after, wanting to show Phil their gains for the evening.
Technoblade, still dressed as Billiam, begins to walk out the front door when he is interrupted by Preston.
"Ah, Billiam! My apologies for the end of the party, but can I expect you next year?" Preston asks, hoping to count Billiam amongst his allies.
"I think not." Billiam answers coldly. "You, clearly, have no noblesse oblige. I refuse to be associated with you." With that, Billiam walks away, leaving Preston dumbfounded.
.
.
Techno catches up to Wilbur and Tommy halfway back to the compound. The trio walk while trading tales of the evening.
"Wait, You guys stole the Yorkshire Gold?" Techno asks, chuckling. "Ya do know that a box is worth, like, $10 for 160 bags?"
"Shut up." Wilbur answers. "What, is Panda poop worth more?" He asks sarcastically, trying to get one up on Techno.
"Yes, actually. Panda Dung costs $175 a cup."
"What!?" Wilbur yelps while Tommy looks suspiciously at Techno.
"And how would you know this, Techno?" Tommy asks.
"The old man has an interest in tea. Plus, you never know when you might have to make a sacrifice to someone who breaks reality simply by existing."
"What does that even mean?" Wilbur asks. Techno ignores him and continues walking. "Techno? Techno what does that mean?"
Techno stops and turns to look Wilbur dead in the eye. "It means: get gud."
Techno begins walking away while Wilbur is left sputtering.
"Ha, Techno told you to get gud!" Tommy cheers.
"That includes you as well, gremlin." Techno fires over his shoulder, causing Tommy to splutter alongside Wilbur. Techno ignores them and massages his head: he had had a headache all night, and was hoping it was just from being around the rich.
.
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Stan is watching television when he hears the door open and a pair of footsteps enter. 'kids are back. Just a few more hours, and then I can start the final countdown. Soon, all will be made right. Just hope I have enough nuclear waste...' Stan thinks to himself. He is about to return his focus to the TV when he catches something... off about one of the sets of footsteps.
The footsteps come toward the living room, one set confident which belonged to Dipper, and then the other set of footsteps, far more cautious. They also seemed to belong to a woman, which causes Stan to internally raise an eyebrow. He knew Dipper was about the age where you start to experiment, but didn't think it was this early.
The two enter, and Stan is glad he hadn't taken a sip of his Pitt Cola because standing beside his nephew, leaning on him for support, was the town princess Pacifica Northwest. Pacifica didn't seem to be doing well, and found the floor incredibly interesting.
"Hey Stan." Dipper says with a falsely cheery casualness.
Stan turns down the volume on the TV and looks Dipper directly in the eye. "Aren't you two too young for this type of thing?"
Dipper looks confused for a few seconds before blushing furiously. "Wha- No! It's not like that! Pacifica needs help."
Stan raises an eyebrow. "With what? What could we help her majesty with that her father couldn't?" Stan was most certainly not still a little annoyed with the heiress for how she had treated Mabel. However, he did still notice Pacifica's minute flinch when he mentioned her father.
"That's, uh, that's kinda the thing." Dipper starts before Pacifica interrupts him, voice barely holding together.
"I was kicked out. My father doesn't want me." She laughs bitterly. "I did the right thing, and was thrown out like trash."
"WHAT!?" Stan roars, shooting to his feet. "Why that little sh-!" Stan pauses, noticing a flinch in Pacifica. "Whoa, hey, I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at your father." Stan softly reassures the whimpering girl.
"Can she stay with us?" Dipper asks, trying to capitalize on the opportunity.
"Yeah, sure. Okay." Stan agrees. "Do you need something to eat?" He asks the pair.
Dipper nods and looks at Pacifica. She seems to think before slowly shaking her head. "Alright, meal for one." Stan says and walks towards the kitchen with Dipper and Pacifica following him. "You sure you don't want anything?" Stan directs at Pacifica. She shakes her head again, only this time she is interrupted by her rumbling stomach. Stan nods to himself and prepares food.
The pair sits next to each other, Pacifica shrinking into herself the moment Dipper removes his arm so he can eat. "Here ya go." He states, placing two bowls of soup in front of the kids. Pacifica freezes before pushing away the bowl.
"What's wrong? Why don't you want to eat?" Dipper asks her gently.
Pacifica leans even further into him. "I don't want to be a financial burden. I won't eat until I can pay for it." She whispers into his ear.
Dipper stiffens in rage. Pacifica feels this and tenses herself.
"You don't need to worry about paying for it." Dipper reassures her quietly, but Stan still hears and begins cursing Preston Northwest in his mind. Pacifica doesn't look convinced, so Stan clears his throat. And tries not to feel his heart break when Pacifica freezes before looking slowly up at him, terror evident in her eyes.
"Tell ya what." Stan says. "If you eat that, I'll hire you in the gift shop." Pacifica looks for any hint of duplicity before slowly nodding and taking a spoon of the soup. She speeds up after the first spoonful of soup, and polishes off her bowl in seconds. Stan is still looking at her, which she notices.
"Sorry for eating so fast." She mumbles, blushing slightly.
Stan waves her off. "Eh, I'm just glad someone enjoys my cooking."
"Stan, we both know this is from Greasy's." Dipper teases.
"Yeah, well, I reheated it. It counts." Stan protests. Dipper and Stan smile, not realizing Pacifica had tensed when Dipper spoke against his male role-model. She relaxes into Dipper contentedly when he doesn't get yelled at or worse. Stan gets them up from the table and into the living room as he switches it to a duck-tective rerun. "I'm gonna go find some bedding for the secret room. You two just stay here." Stan walks off to find clean linens to place inside of Soos's break room.
When he returns after making the bed, Pacifca has fallen asleep and has Dipper locked in a death grip. Stan sighs dramatically before peeling Pacifica off his nephew and carrying her to bed. She stirs slightly, and Stan hums a half-remembered lullaby.
She smiles in her sleep. "Thanks grandpa." She mumbles as Stan tucks her into bed. Stan slowly pulls the door shut behind him with a soft smile on his face when he sees Dipper standing across the hall, his arms crossed.
"What?" Stan asks defensively.
Dipper looks at him closely. "Usually you would have fought against something like this. Ignoring the fact that she and our family are somewhat antagonistic, she's rich. I would have thought you were gonna charge her."
Stan sighs and walks Dipper back towards the living room. "Dipper, I'm not going to charge a kid without a home for a meal. I know how that feels. My father kicked m- my brother out of the house because of a small mistake, and I never saw my brother again."
"Wait, Grandpa Shermie?" Dipper asks, confused. "But he's still alive."
"No, my other brother, Stanley." Stan answers. "It was brushed under the rug."
Dipper looks shocked at the skeletons in his family's closet.
"So, no, I don't care how long you house Pacifica here. Just make sure to use protection." Stan teases as Dipper turns red.
Before Dipper can respond, an ear piercing shriek rips through the living room. "You and Pacifica! Eeee! You finally found love other than Wendy!" Mabel cheers. "And you brought her home, you little go-getter you! I'm so proud! I gotta tell the girls!"
"Mabel, it's not like that!" Dipper protests. "Her dad kicked her out, and I offered her a place to stay. I don't even know if she likes me!" Mabel and Stan look at Dipper, then at each other, then back at Dipper. "What?" Dipper snaps.
"Oh, nothing." Stan says innocently.
"Yeah, it's a real mystery." Mabel agrees.
"I'm going to bed." Dipper says, turning away from his family to seek the comfort of bed.
Mabel starts after him, more than likely to tease him mercilessly, but Stan catches her shoulder. "hey, kiddo? Go easy on Pacifica these first few days." Mabel smiles at Stan and he lets her go. "Now, off to bed with you, ya little gremlin.
.
.
"Mother Bird, this Ron Swanson. Whole hog was spotted leaving the Northwest's party." A man in a black suit speaks into a radio.
"A-firm Swanson, Northwest's added to possible enemies of the state."
"I'd also get in contact with child protective services, they kicked out their daughter. Fortunately her boyfriend was able to get her out of there."
"Understood. Anything else?"
"Negative. Did Washington ever get back about sources of funding?"
"A-firm. Just got off the horn: nobody is funding whole hog. Matter of fact, they seemed surprised there was an anarchist this far out in the boonies." Mother Bird answers.
"Think he might be working with Stanford Pines?" Swanson suggests.
"It's possible. We'll launch a raid there just in case when we finally get confirmation for Pines."
"Remember, we gotta secure the kids as well. Have we reached out to area 51?"
"Yep. They'd be glad to have another few enhanced to work on."
"This is Swanson, signing off."
"Swanson, signed off. Have a good night."
"You too, Mother bird." Agent Powers signs off. Soon it would all be over, one way or another.
.
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Finished: 2/18/2024 Words: Written using a Pirated copy of Microsoft Word 2007
AN2: I promise I did not make Techno a Pedophile! He was confused and concerned that Mabel and her friends were at an ultra-wealthy party, and didn't want them getting kidnapped. Also, DipCifica? I don't even know why you would suggest such a thing. I see no evidence for this claim.
Now, Preston: I didn't mean to go so dark, but then I did. It's similar to what I did to Blind Ivan. When I have an idea I am less concerned with whether it's morally good and more concerned if it's interesting. Was Preston considering selling Pacifica to Techno because he thought Billiam was rich? Yes. Is Preston a piece of shit? Definitely. Will he face consequences? Absolutely.
Can you tell I had fun writing Billiam? I think it's one of Techno's best characters, and while I couldn't figure out a way to have the classic, "The poison is full of vitamin B." "what does the B stand for?" "Broke!", I feel satisfied with it.
The Scooby-doo bit was an off the cuff thing, entirely because the theme happened to come on my spotify playlist while I was writing.
Another reason for the delay between chapters was an ear infection that made it hard to focus. Like, it quite literally woke me up a few nights because of how painful it was. I took care of it, don't worry. And even if I were to die, I do have contingencies in place.
Next chapter is going to focus on Pacifica integrating with the Pines and is going to (probably) be a shorter chapter. Then it is the big one: Not What He Seems and Tale of Two Stans. I already have a title selected for this one. It's crazy how close we are to being done with this story.
Have a great rest of your Day/Night/whatever.