He wasn't sure how it happened but all he heard was Rae's terrified scream and the big crash of water. He turned around and saw Emi standing there, watching her fall with a satisfied grin on her face. He saw red.
"You fucking bitch." She turned to face him and pouted.
"I did this to help knock some sense into you. With her gone, everything can return to normal." He came up on her, hands ready to strangle her.
"You'll pay for this. I promise you that. Move the fuck out of my way." She grinned.
"You really love her that much that you'd risk your life?" He grabbed her and shook her so hard her neck popped.
"I could kill you. Do you know how easy it would be just to snap you like the twig you are?" Her smirk waned and for the first time she looked appropriate. Scared. His games were over. He was done being nice. His grip tightened on her arms.
"I should slap the fuck out of you." Her face paled.
"Hi-Hiroto..." He shoved her to the side, hard enough that she fell.
"Why did you do that Emi?" One of the girls asked, looking fearfully at him.
"I've never seen Hiroto this mad before. Emi, look what you did." He didn't stay to hear the rest. He took a breath and jumped into the water. He spotted her already deep in the depths of the water, lifeless. Oh God... He pushed his body and grew closer to her. She laid against a rock. He grabbed her and prayed he held his breath long enough to reach the surface. He kicked his feet harder and soon, took a gasping breath as they came to the surface. He wheezed but the pain in his lungs didn't mean anything to him. He looked down to see her limp and unmoving in his arms.
"Rae... Rae!" Nothing. Her lips had turned a slight blue.
"Shit." He cursed. He pulled her out of the water and laid her flat on her back on the grass.
"Is she breathing?" He looked up to find Tomo standing there looking worried.
"I don't know." He tugged at her juban until it loosened. He pressed an ear to her heart. No heart beat.
"Fuck. She's not breathing." His voice was panicked. He took a breath and pinched her nose. He breathed into her lungs until he had no breath left and began to push on her chest.
"Oh God. Is this really happening right now? She was just... we were having such a good day." Tomo said, lifting a shaky hand to slide through his hair. He didn't respond. He pinched her nose again and breathed into her lungs again.
"Come on Ebere. Breathe for me." Her lips grew a darker shade of blue. He pushed harder against her chest.
"Come on..." One last time he took a large breath and pinched her nose, making sure she got all the air he had. He pushed on her chest, feeling his eyes water.
"Come on baby. Breathe. Breathe please." He pushed against her chest and waited. Tomo's breath was gone as he watched. It was a minute before water gushed out of her lungs and out of her mouth. He pressed his head against her chest. She gasped for air and he felt her chest move, her heart starting to beat again. He lifted and ignored the tears that slid down his cheeks. It didn't matter if anyone saw him. Right now, all he cared about was the fact that she was breathing. He lifted hands to her juban and closed it tightly, reaching underneath her to tighten her obi. Slowly, the blue color faded from her lips but she still looked ashen. He reached behind her head. He felt wetness.
"Tomo, give me something to stop the bleeding." Tomo didn't think about it. He ripped off his yukata robe and handed it to him. He balled it up and pressed it against the back of her head. He wasn't sure how much blood she had lost but he would make sure she didn't lose any more. Soon the girls came down the side of the rock.
"Is... is she okay?" One of them asked. He didn't look at them.
"She hit her head on the rock." Another one of them hid her face in her hands and cried. He turned to see Emi peeking out like a coward behind one of her friends.
"You almost killed her." He hissed, fixing his gaze straight on her. She grew even more pale and swallowed tightly.
"Hiroto... I didn't... I just..."
"Shut up. Don't talk to me. Keep your fucking mouth shut." He turned his eyes back on Rae and soon, her breathing became stable.
"Rae?" He asked, softly moving her wet curls out of her face. Her breath was his answer.
"I almost lost you today. Do you know how scared I am right now?" He spoke quietly against her cheek. Tears came again and he cried against her, his shoulders shaking. He bit his lip to quiet the cries. She looked so tiny and frail. The color still hadn't returned to her face yet and she looked gray.
"We should get her back to the house Hiro." Tomo spoke up sullenly. He wiped the tears from his face and took a shaky breath. He lifted her in his arms, the blood from the back of her head dripping on his chest.
"Tomo. Get the yukata. It's coming out again." How his voice was so calm was beyond him. He rushed and gently placed the robe underneath her head. He tightened his grip on her and turned to face the rest of the group.
"We're leaving." He walked past them, setting eyes on Emi as he passed.
"Today you almost took something from me. I will pay you back." He said nothing else as he continued past her.
"Someone grab her yukata and kinchaku." He called before growing farther away from them. In the sun, the water started to evaporate from him. But she still looked so wet and cold.
"Just a little bit longer. Then we'll be home." He spoke softly to her unresponsive body. Her eyes were closed but what gave him strength was the small breaths she blew on his chest. As long as she was breathing, he would be okay.
"Hiro, wait up." The others had started to run, all except Emi. She stayed back. They walked with him and soon they came in sight of the house. The girls ran ahead. Frantic voices were heard and soon, servants and Hana came out side. At the sight of Rae, Hana rushed to him.
"What happened to her?!"
"Just get her inside. She's bleeding from the back of her head." They picked her up from his arms and carried her inside. Hana stood there, fists tight. She looked past him and settled her eyes on Emi. She already knew. She said not a word and turned to go back into the house. He stood there, still.
"It'll be all right. She'll be okay Hiro." Tomo spoke softly before patting his shoulder. He pulled Minase against him and entered the house. He felt Emi's presence behind him.
"I'm... I'm sorry Hiroto."
"....That's not good enough."
"I just wanted to scare her." She came closer to him. This once. He would allow it this once. He reached up and grabbed her by her hair, pulling her close. She gripped his wrist.
"You are dead to me. Don't ever come around me again. I might really hurt you." He pushed her away from him and went into the house. He walked down the hall and soon met the worried faces of his parents.
"Hiroto, what happened? Tomo told us Ebere is hurt." He sat down, a numb expression on his face.
"Emi pushed her off of the cliff. She almost drowned and hit her head on a sharp rock." His mother looked away. His father's expression hardened and his jaw tightened as he spotted the blood on his chest.
"Where is Emi?"
"Where is Ebere?" He asked instead, looking at them.
"Hana took her. She's bathing now. I don't know how she is." He stood up.
"Hiroto,"
"Leave me alone." He said tiredly and closed the shoji. He felt his legs move ahead of him but he was not there. He had to be floating somewhere in the rafters. His fists tightened. After what happened today, he could honestly say that he now knew what fear was. He had almost watched her... He stopped walking and gripped the door. How shaky life and death were. One minute you could be here and the next... gone. Was this how she had felt that time he almost drunk himself into a coma? Had to be. Regret hit him in the stomach. He felt like a bastard for ever putting her through this emotion. He slid open the door to watch as Hana washed her back. She was leaning over the tub.
"Feel better? Nice warm bath." Hana spoke gently but there was no reply. She stood and wrapped a towel around her and slowly lifted her out of the tub. For such a small woman, Hana was strong. She pressed a small towel to the back of her head. His eyes fell to her face. Her eyes were still closed. She was still unconscious. Glancing up, Hana gasped at him.
"Hiroto... she's... not clothed right now. Can you come back later?" She tried to cover her more. He swallowed and looked away.
"Of course. I apologize. I just wanted to see her." Hana smiled softly.
"With some sleep, she'll be right as rain. Just give her some time." He nodded and let her pass, Rae in her arms. He watched them until they disappeared into their room.
*****
"You should eat something Hiro." He looked up to find Tomo standing there with a tray of food for him.
"I can't. Not while Rae is still unconscious." He sighed and placed the tray to the side of him.
"You have to keep your strength up Hiro." He looked out into the garden, the trees blowing in the breeze. Tomo sat down next to him on the engawa.
"You know, I've never seen you that emotional before. You've always been so neurotic. But today, you really scared me. I thought you were going to kill Emi."
"I wanted to."
"You really care about Rae don't you?" It was quiet before he answered.
"Yes."
"She means a lot to you. I joke and everything but all jokes aside, I can tell that you truly care about her. You've changed too. In such a short time. I guess time does not have any affect on love." He stayed quiet. Tomo looked at him.
"When did it happen?" He thought about it.
"Instantaneously." Tomo smiled.
"Yeah. It happens." He licked his lips.
"She took my breath away the first time I saw her. She was the most beautiful girl there. Everything that happened brought us closer." Tomo grew quiet.
"I can tell this thing is real. Which is why I'll suggest this. I think you should make a move soon Hiro. She could... could slip through ya know? Make sure she doesn't fall again." He didn't respond. Tomo sighed.
"If you honestly... if you can see her as the type you could possibly spend the rest of your life with, take that chance. If she's not, leave her alone. Don't get too involved. She doesn't deserve that and neither do you." He got up and left him. He closed his eyes and sighed, emotion making his chest feel heavy. He had to see her. Getting up, he slowly walked down the hallway until he came to her door. Knocking, he took a breath.
"Come in Hiroto." He opened the door to find Hana and a doctor sitting by Rae's side.
"How did you know?" Hana smiled.
"You've been coming ever hour like a puppy. How could it not be you?" He swallowed and looked at her.
"How is she?" He knelt down in front of her, posture stiff.
"The doctor said that there is no brain damage. It knocked her out but she will be fine once she rests."
"How long will she stay like this?"
"A couple days."
"A couple days?" That was not good. She was supposed to leave in two days. Licking his lips, he bit the bottom one. He didn't want Minako to think he was irresponsible. All of this was his fault.
"If you are worried about her guardian, your father took the liberty of contacting her. He explained what happened and made a note that you had nothing to do with this Hiroto." He looked away, fixating on the thin shoji paper.
"She will stay for a little longer. We have plenty of clothes and all she needs to be comfortable." Hana got up.
"Hiroto," He looked up at her.
"She'll be fine. Let her rest. You need to eat and get some sleep."
"I will."
"Soon Hiroto."
"Of course." The doctor reached over and checked her pulse and applied some herbal medicine on the back of her head before getting up. Soon, they were alone. He felt his throat get heavy. She was still but her chest moving settled his nerves. He scooted closer to her and gently, ever so gently moved some hair away from her forehead. He pressed his fingers on the skin. She was normal temperature. No fever. He cupped her cheek, gliding over the smooth skin with his thumb. He didn't say a word as he leaned over her and pressed his forehead against hers. Looking at her through his lashes, he sighed.
"Whatever I have to do to ensure this never happens again, I'll do it." Silence. She wouldn't have understood anyway. He continued,
"It's becoming hard to breathe without you. I can't seem to stay away from you."
"They say it's love. Is that what this is Rae? Is it?" He bit his lip.
" I can't lose you. I won't lose you." He felt tears come from his eyes and he let his hand fall away from her cheek. He wanted to kiss her. But, he would wait until she was conscious. Until she received it and gave it back. He pressed his head just below her ribcage. Sighing, he let the tears fall. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed his face against her yukata. He cried until he grew exhausted and soon fell asleep, his arm draped over her stomach.
*****
Her head throbbed. The back of her head throbbed. A dull throb. As she came into her conscious, she took everything in through her senses. The heat from the morning sun. The smell of the fresh wind from the open door. She felt her fingers twitch. Her toes. She wasn't paralyzed. She felt pressure. She tried to prepare herself to open her eyes. Slow, barely. Little by little. Her vision blurred and she blinked a few times as her eyes adjusted to the light in the room. Squinting, she slowly reached up to rub at her eyes. She sighed. Glancing down, she saw dark silky hair pressed against her side and an arm strewn across her hip. Hiroto. She smiled softly to herself and slowly slid fingers into his hair. She felt him press his face into her side more and his arm tighten ever so slightly. He let out a sigh. She uttered not a word and continued to watch him. He looked calm. At peace. She swallowed, her throat dry. She lifted her eyes as the shoji slid open gently. In walked Hana holding Hisae.
"Ah, look at them Hisae-chan. Don't they look so cute? Let's check on Rae-chan hm?" She closed her eyes and sighed as she felt them get closer. She felt a tiny hand press against her cheek. Hisae. She couldn't help but smile and Hana gasped.
"Rae-chan?" She opened her eyes and looked up into the face of little Hisae, who smiled at her. She moved an arm and scooted her closer and she laid her head against her breast. She put her little fingers into her mouth and sucked quietly, her eyes closing.
"Rae-chan... when did you wake up?" Hana knelt over her daughter and pressed her forehead against hers. She smiled.
"Couple minutes ago." She whispered.
"Oh my God... everyone has been so worried."
"I'm okay. Just a little thirsty." Hana nodded and soon left to return with some water.
"It is miracle you talk and move. You hit head hard on rock." She nodded and hungrily drank the water. It was indeed a miracle. Only by the grace of God was she still alive. She drank it all down and sighed.
"How long has he been like this?" She asked, her voice throaty and soft.
"Three days. He worry most. He eat come here. Leave come here. Sleep here all night." She softly massaged his scalp and smiled. He was really too much.
"He not leave you all three days."
"That sounds like him." Hana smiled.
"He really care about you. He loyal friend." She reached down and slowly picked Hisae up who started fussing.
"She not want to leave you either." Hana giggled.
"She's so cute. I like having her here."
"We come back later. I go get food for you." Hana bowed her head and slowly closed the door. She slowly lifted up, her arms weak. Breathing deeply, she leaned down and laid a cheek on the top of his cheek.
"Hiroto.." He didn't stir.
"I'm awake now..." He moved his head to the side and his lips brushed hers. She grew still.
"Rae..." He mumbled in his sleep, his breath warm and light on her mouth. She softly slid a hand down until it went into his yukata. She pressed her hand on his heart and decided to do it. She softly pressed her lips against his and felt her cheeks grow hot. Was she really kissing him? Maybe it was a dream. But when his lips slowly kissed her back, she felt light and airy. She kept the kiss sweet and light and closed her eyes. He sighed against her mouth and before he could reach up and deepen it, she ended it. She did it. Finally. She had kissed him. Even if he was knocked out sleep. She looked at him shyly. She liked the way his lips felt against hers. They were soft and smooth and molded to hers. It was like his lips were made to be kissed. She smiled to herself.
He may not have known it but she had just had her first kiss. And it was everything she hoped it would be. Chaste and innocent. She looked at his lips. What happened when she wanted deeper kisses? What if she couldn't stop thinking about the press of his mouth against hers? She wanted to do it again. Blushing she sighed and pulled her hand away from his chest.
Hana came back with food. She took notice of her blush.
"What happen?" She asked softly with a grin. Her blush grew deeper.
"Nothing." Hana cut her eyes at her playfully.
"Oh kay. Nothing happen." She set the food down beside them.
"When he wake, you two eat." She nodded and Hana left again. She leaned back over him and gently laid her head against his collarbone.
"Wake up soon." She whispered, her eyes slowly closing.
*****
He felt arms around him and instinctively thought of Emi. But the hands lightly pressed against his stomach were not the same. He opened his eyes and looked up. Rae was asleep, her mouth parted, breath flowing through. Her hair covered his face and he felt for a moment like it was just them two in the whole world. He smiled. She was so beautiful. Her color had come back though a little pale. He reached up slowly and cupped her cheek. He stared at her intently. He felt a slight tingle from his lips. He had been dreaming about her. In his dream, her lips pressed softly against his. He could imagine how soft and full they were and he wanted to make it real. He sighed and took his bottom lip into his mouth. He had to calm down.
"Rae..." She stirred, slowly sliding her hands up his stomach a bit.
"Can you hear me?" He watched as a slow smile formed on her pouty lips.
"Perfectly. What do you want wakin me up?" He chuckled.
"Look at me." Slowly, she opened her eyes and settled them on his. He hadn't pulled his hand away from her cheek.
"How do you feel?" He asked gently, taking her in. She nodded, her curls brushing his chest.
"Fine. Just hungry."
"Does your head hurt?" She shook her head.
"No. Not like it did before. It just throbs a little. Nothing big."
"Hiroto..."
"Yeah?"
"Thank you for staying with me."
"Don't thank me. I'd do it over and over again."
"I know we're not supposed to be touching like this but I don't wanna let you go." She said shyly, a blush warming her cheeks. Finally. Some color. He didn't say a word as he gently ran a thumb against her bottom lip.
"I don't want you to." Her blush deepened.
"U-Um... a-are you h-hungry?" Indeed he was but it wasn't for the food on the tray. He swallowed thickly.
"Why don't we eat?" She pulled away from him and he watched her walk to the door, the shoulder of her yukata sliding down a small shoulder. He licked his lips.
"Rae,"
"Yeah?"
"Your collar." She glanced down.
"Oh. My bad." She pulled it up and tightened it within the obi. He breathed a sigh and lifted up.
"Rae," She turned around and looked at him.
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry."
"For what?" He slid his hair back from his face.
"The morning you found me drunk out of my mind. The fear you felt... I am sorry I ever put you through that." She looked down.
"I have never been so scared in my whole life. I thought you were going to die. You were so still and your lips were turning blue. You weren't breathing and I just..." He trailed off. She came up to him and wrapped her arms around him.
"It's okay. I forgive you Roto-kun. I already did." He wasn't sure he would ever forget seeing her lifeless and not breathing on the bank. That had been permanently seared into his psyche.
"I almost lost you." He spoke quietly, his arms coming around her. She pressed her face against his side.
"But you haven't. I'm still here." He breathed a sigh of relief and nodded. He'd do whatever he had to to keep her here.
"Let's eat okay? You lost weight Roto-kun." She pulled away from him. Sitting down, she clasped her fingers together and prayed. He watched her and smiled. Whatever faith she belonged to, it had saved her. He sat down and she picked up her hashi and grabbed some rice. She lifted it to his mouth.
"We cannot have you losing weight. You're already hella skinny Hiroto." She said in a teasing manner. He smiled before eating the rice.
"I couldn't eat." He spoke, a blush on his cheeks.
"Well, now you can so eat up." She motioned for him to pick up his hashi to which he did with a grin.
"Yes ma'am." She rolled her eyes and he watched her eat voraciously. She nearly inhaled the food and he smiled. Watching her devour her food made him want to eat. He slowly plucked some meat from the fish and joined it with the rice. Eating thoughtfully, he smiled again. Delicious. Soon, he couldn't stop and ate until he was full. He placed his hashi back on the tray and groaned.
"So full." She pat her belly.
"Who you tellin. Oh God..." He grinned.
"Rae..."
"Hm?" She looked at him.
"If you're up for it, I want to take you somewhere. We could both use the fresh air."
"Does it have to do with water?" She asked nervously. He figured it would take a while before she was completely comfortable around water again.
"No."
"Fine. I need to stretch my legs anyway." She stood and wobbled. He caught her.
"Still kinda weak." She mumbled, not looking at him.
"Just let me take you. You don't have to do anything." He spoke quietly. He leaned down and scooped her up in his arms. She gently gripped his shoulders.
"You like doing that don't you?" She grinned. He laughed softly.
"Yes I do." He opened the door and walked down the hall.
"Hiroto!" He stopped and turned to see some of his relatives in the great room. He bowed his head and Rae did the same. Tomo looked at her.
"How is she doing?"
"Fine. We're about to go out for a while."
"Where to? Isn't it a little early for her to be moving around?"
"She needs circulation. Besides, I'll worry about that. She needs fresh air." Tomo nodded and glanced at Emi who was looking down. He watched Rae's face.
"Hiroto, put me down." Her voice was soft but he went ahead and did it anyway. Whatever she was thinking, Emi deserved it. She wobbled a bit and then stood straight. She pushed her shoulders back and held her head high.
"I know you see me. Look at me." She addressed Emi. She didn't, possibly due to shame.
"I said look at me girl. Don't make me come over there." Emi slowly lifted her eyes.
"Don't act all brand new now. You tried it. And you failed. I never did a thing to you. Yet you hated me. And for what? A man? You need Jesus honey. Real talk. Right away." She walked towards Emi and knelt down in front of her.
"I was angry at you. But now I just feel sorry for you. You're pitiful. You're sad and I can't bring up enough energy to even be angry anymore. You just make me sad." Emi was quiet.
"But, I will do this one thing. It's been more than a long time coming." Rae lifted her hand and slapped her hard enough that her head jerked to the side. She groaned and grabbed her cheek.
"You deserve so much more. I should beat your ass. But, I'm not. I'm done putting hands on you." She leaned closer to her ear so that only she could hear.
"Watch me be happy with the man you never had." She said not a word and got up, leaving a sniffling Emi balled up on the floor. He knelt down and she climbed on his back, gently wrapping her arms around him. He held on to her tight and left the room. He stepped off of the engawa and slid into his geta. They were quiet as he walked out of the gates and down the road. She pressed her face into his neck and he smiled.
"You all right?" She nodded.
"Yeah." He wasn't really sure where he was taking her but he kept following the road. She sighed against his skin.
"You can really see the stars bright out here." She said softly.
"One of the things I love about Nara."
"Do you like being here as opposed to Tokyo?" She asked quietly.
"Being here reminds me of my grandmother." She smoothed down his yukata collar.
"Tell me about her." He licked his lips.
"She was the only mother I really knew." Rae was quiet, listening.
"She took me under her wing. Everything I am... I owe it to her. She taught me how to be independent. She taught me how to be a man." She smiled.
"I guess I should thank her then huh?" He chuckled.
"I'm far from perfect but I'm trying. It's a daily thing." She nodded.
"Trust me I know exactly what you mean. It's a struggle." Silence.
"Roto?"
"Hm?"
"What's the deal with your family? Why do you act the way you do with them?" Her question took him aback. He was not intending to talk about that with her yet. A part of him was afraid if she knew, she would be turned off by the person he was behind closed doors. He had slipped up at the water edge. He never wanted her to see that side of him.
"..." She sighed.
"Look, you don't want me to push you out. If we're gonna be real, we gotta be honest right?" Her fingers slid into his hair and he took a shaky breath. Her fingers belonged there. He didn't want her to stop.
"Let me in Roto-kun." He lifted her higher in his arms and took another breath.
"Someday. Just not right now."
"I won't reject you Hiroto." Her voice had grown whispery again and it made him want to throw her on the ground, pull her yukata apart and make her breathe his name over and over just like that. But he just tightened his grip on her thighs.
"I know." She smiled and the press of her lips against his neck burned him. He was grateful though. There was a moment when he thought he never would feel her lips on him ever again. The girl on his back was starting to be the reason his heart beat and took breath. He hadn't been prepared for this. He never could have anticipated it. But, the moment he pulled her out of the water, he felt it in his chest.
"What are you thinking about?" Her fingers had softly started up again.
"Rae..."
"Hm?"
"Stop." Her fingers paused.
"O-okay." Her fingers came back around his shoulders. Hurt. He'd hurt her.
"It's not that I don't like it." She was quiet.
"I just can't... think right now." She still said nothing but her nose pressed against the nape of his neck meant enough.
"It's too much. I get it." Her reply was soft. He swallowed a lump in his throat. His feelings for her were intensifying every minute. It wasn't just the want to have her. No, it had grown into a need. Besides that, he realized one thing. The need for her to be in his life, around him and near him was greater.
"How do you feel?" He asked, his voice husky. She would now know what she did to him. He noticed a pick up in her breathing and felt bad. She didn't need this. Not now.
"Um... I feel okay. The air is nice." He smiled.
"That's good." He walked some more and soon he stopped.
"Would you like to go on another trip with me?" She smiled.
"You and these trips." He felt a grin come to his face.
"Yes or no question Rae." She sucked her teeth and pushed his shoulder.
"Shut up. Yes."
"Okay then we need our sleep." He turned around and headed back to the house. She didn't touch him again and he was grateful. He couldn't handle anymore. As sweet as they were, they chipped away at his self control and he really did not want to make her resent him. He didn't want to ruin this. As they came to the door, he leaned down and she slid off.
"Can you walk?" He asked, looking wearily at her.
"I'm fine." He lifted her by her waist up on the engawa. He went to pull his hands away from her but she gripped his wrists. His face grew warm and he looked up at her.
"Thank you Hiroto. For everything." His heart beat faster. Oh shit, her lips were growing closer. If you kiss me Rae, I won't be able to stop myself. Don't do it. He held his breath but it never came. They however tenderly pressed to his forehead. He breathed out a sigh of relief.
"You're welcome." His voice was calm yet he was feeling anything but.
"Good night." She let go of his arms and he smiled. Keeping it together.
"Good night beautiful." She turned and walked down the hall until he heard the shoji shut. He sat down on the engawa and ran frustrated fingers through his hair. He could do this. But to be successful, he had to stop touching her. Point. Blank. Period. He couldn't deal with it any longer. It had been tolerable but now it just made his body burn and lower regions grow tight. Around her, that was unacceptable. Purely unacceptable.
A/N: I AM IN LOVE YOUR HONOR. THAT IS ALL HEHEHEHEHE.