Charlotte had stayed for a couple more days before planning her descent back down to London, circumstances become more difficult when your a superstar and additionally London had become her home anyway, it was where her priorities now lay. Her interactions with Tommy had been kept to a minimum, only hello and goodbyes to keep the civility. In all honesty Tommy found it easier when she was away, although that didn't mean he preferred it. It was what could only be described as a sticky situation, he wanted her near to ensure she was safe because of course it meant he could keep a watchful eye on her however having her near meant he smelt her familiar scent, watched as she spoke through her plump lips and listened as the laugh that used to be his own personal ecstasy gracefully left her mouth. Each of these alone sent him insane, worsening his urge to grab her and silence all their issues with a simple kiss, one he knew would send them both weak but what he had to remember was that she was no longer his nor would she be again, as afar as they were both aware anyway.
Unfortunately now, Charlotte stood alongside Ada who streamed next to her,facing her husbands coffin. Sighing heavily, charlotte linked her arm in ada's squeezing it lightly and kissing her hair as both their attention diverted to tommy as he spoke.
The pair now stood as Charlotte held Karl in her arms,glancing over to Polly and Tommy as they spoke, it presumably looked like a significant conversation,however the serious expression on their face's didn't come as a surprise to charlotte, they were at a funeral after all. Although it would be naive to forget, she knows tommy very well and that certain look he held on his face meant one thing and one thing only, business.
"at a funeral" she scoffed, earning a perplexed look from ada as she muttered under her breath. "eh?" she spoke in confusion. "your brother, come on" gesturing her head towards the pair, linking her arm with the Shelby girl once again as they made their way over.
As they reached the aunt and nephew, Charlotte made a conscious effort to remain the opposite side of ada, furthest away from tommy. However this didn't work well in her favour as it now meant she was stood opposite him, a victim to the all so familiar look he had always given her. As if saved by the bell, she fought the urge to release a sigh of relief as someone had diverted tommy's attention, albeit it didn't look like it was for a good reason. Keeping her eye on him she watched as his face contorted slightly before he nodded his head, and the person descended. Swallowing her better nature, she unlinked her arm from ada's as she made her way round to tommy, tapping him on the arm gently.
"What's the matter?" she questioned, her eyes dancing over his face, not missing how his eye's consumed with emotion for a split second before he cleared his throat and returned to his stoic expression.
"someone's blown up the garrison" he spoke under his breath, his aunt and sister remaining to busy with a conversation of their own. "what?" she bluntly replied, confusion written all over her tone. "they've blown up our pub" he reiterated with a nod of his head, before glancing away from her afraid that if he didn't, he'd most likely do something he'd regret if he continued to stare at them eyes of hers. "who would do that?" she frowned,searching for any dishonesty as he spoke.
"i think i may have an idea" he replied exhaling smoke. "but you can sort it right?" she questioned in an attempt to clarify her own thoughts.
"sort what?" pol furrowed her eyebrows alongside her question, fighting the urge to smile at the pair's interaction. Although her hopeful narrative was destroyed when they both faced her with a sour look on their face. "someone's blown up our pub."
Tommy had grown accustomed to the eyes Charlotte had on her at all times, in all the years they were together there had been countless amount of times were charlotte would have to prevent tommy from kicking off at the men who held their eye on her for a little to long for his liking, although majority of the time he could settle it with placing his hand on the small of her back or taking her hand in his. However circumstances had quite obviously faltered, now she held others attention not just because she was beautiful but because of who she was. It wasn't just her who walked beside Thomas, it was the legacy she carried. Additionally, he couldn't deter this with an action that clarified she was his, because she wasn't. Of course he was aware of that, but it bothered him anyway, specifically because the majority doing so knew the history between the two, they were in small heath after all.
Quite frankly, it pissed him off that they even had the nerve to undress her with their eyes right in-front of him, the women who owned his heart for over a decade, and arguably still did.
Swallowing his thoughts, he glanced over to her once more before they both descended towards the garrison, polly in check. Gasping at the sight of the pub, charlotte was pulled out of her thought's by moss who was offering his hand so she could make it over the small barrier that surrounded the wreckage with no trouble.
"It's lovely to see you again, Miss Windsor" moss smiled, with a polite nod of his head. Charlotte only briefly smiled in return, didn't you have me held up in a cell with an inspector when i was nobody. It was one thing that got to charlotte the most, false people, that had risen from the woodworks ever since she became who she is now. However arguably, she had never been "nobody" even before she rose to the top of the world of fame she already stood at the top of another empire, one not as legal, one run by the once love of her life.
Charlotte felt slightly saddened as she glanced up at the now remains of the pub that once stood, yes she now had bigger and better things, but she had always enjoyed majority of her time there and it undeniably held a bundle of memories she had shared with the Shelby's.
Although, truthfully she almost felt slightly relieved that the place that held that last memory of her tommy was now blown up in to pieces, almost acting as a metaphorical relief that all memories of grace, tommy and herself were now diminished. Another day, another internal scolding as she reminded herself that she practically allowed herself to be in some sort of bloody love triangle. Never Again.
"i'd say it was something to do with the gas, just been fitted" tommy stated, pulling charlotte out of her thoughts once again. The three of them watching as polly made her way towards the ruins. "this is all over the place" she perplexed, making her way back to where they all stood. "confetti" she added. Sighing, Charlotte stepped back slightly before squeezing Tommy's arm gently to gain his attention. "be careful" she spoke with the raise of her eyebrows, before she turned around and descended away from him.
He was more then aware she had little to no interest in this side of things anymore, not that she did before but she has things to lose this time, she can't be seen caught up in situations like this, although it still baffles him that she knew him so well. She knew within the hour he'd be somewhere dealing with the root of the problem without a doubt, all with no words spoken.
Charlotte sat in her Childhood home, the fire contaminating the home with a comforting warmth and homely ambience. Still in her dress from the day, she slouched on her sofa, a whiskey on ice in her hand as she pondered on her thoughts, or thought, or Tommy. She furrowed her eyebrows at the knock on her door. 21:32. straightening herself up she headed towards it, opening the door slightly she bit her lip at the sight of Tommy Shelby. "Thomas?" she perplexed, opening the door fully. He only replied with the raise of his hand, showcasing one of her very expensive coats. "you left this at pols,she sent me to give it back" he explained, earning a chuckle from charlotte. Of course she did. ever since charlotte had returned it had become painstakingly obvious that she had been on some sort of one man mission to reunite the pair.
"Thank you" she smiled, her voice accompanying a raspy tone. He simply nodded his head,turning around to leave the girls doorstep. "Wait" Charlotte voiced, inhaling slightly as he turnt to face her once again. "Would you like to come in?" she questioned, stepping out the way to let him in.
His eyes danced over her pretty face, as he once again simply nodded, entering her home. In doing so, his breath hitched slightly at the familiar scent of her home, the home itself serving as a reminder of all the intimate moments they spent together. To no exaggeration he could've sworn he felt the pain sat on his chest grow heavier as he glanced at all the photographs of the pair that were still up. "I had the same reaction" charlotte chuckled, albeit it was saddened. "would you like anything?" she questioned as the pair stood in her kitchen. "i didn't think you'd utter a word to me ever again" tommy stated, cutting straight to the chase. He watched as she was taken aback a little, before she sighed, almost preparing herself for that conversation.
"so did i" she replied, keeping eye contact with him. "what changed your mind?"he questioned "i suppose i've learnt to accept what happened" she shrugged before continuing. "i cant hate you for falling out of love with me, it happens, i just wish you had gone around it differently" she spoke, fiddling with her hands. "Lottie" he sighed an unrecognisable expression on his face. She rose her head slightly at the familiar nickname that rolled off his tongue. "it's okay tommy really, it's done" she shrugged once again "it all ended well for me in the end i suppose" she chuckled, the humble reference of her being a literal sensation yet stood in-front of a Birmingham gangster only made him admire her more. she know's where she come's from.
"no your not getting it Lottie" he sighed with the shake of his head. "i never fell out of love with you" he admitted hoarsely, a vulnerability charlotte hadn't seen for a while. "tommy if you loved me you wouldn't have done that" and there it was, again. what everyone had been telling him. it frustrated him unreal amounts because one thing he knew was that he loved that girl, his drastic change just by her absence should be an explanation on its own. Although of course he had to ultimately except defeat, her words made perfect sense.
"i'm not expecting anything from this Lottie, but i want you to know that i've missed you and not a day has gone by were i haven't thought of you and how much i regret what happened." he sighed, pausing before continuing once again. "but that doesn't matter because your not in love with me anymore." he rasped with the nod of his head, almost summarising the conversation they were about to have. Meeting his eyes, she fought the tears that threatened to fill her own.
"i thought you were different" she voiced, her tone consumed with that same hurt from them years ago. "and i wanted it to be you" she added, watching as his face filled with the emotion that's been disguised for the last two years. "and i regret it, so fucking much" he replied as he ran his hand over his face. "we're still the kids we used to be" she shrugged with a light chuckle "just off doing our own things now, nothing lasts forever tommy, you told me that" she threw him a saddened smile, because of course regardless of the situation she doesn't ever like or want to see him upset, specifically because it was a rare case for tommy. "i wasn't including us" he admitted, meeting her gaze once again. "you and me together, nothing was better" she stated, diverting her gaze to the floor as his stayed fixed on her. He couldn't explain the pure frustration that consumed him, he wanted to do nothing but pull her into him and for things to go back to how they used to be but he knew that he was fully to blame, some immature fucking mistake that cost him more then he'd ever imagined, losing his lottie.
"nothing" he repeated, and it was purely the truth, he held absolutely nothing higher then his lottie and his past relationship, there was no denying that nothing was more sacred then her to him. simple as that. "i'm going home tomorrow Thomas" she confessed, ruining his slim hopes that they were potentially getting somewhere. "is he waiting for you?" he questioned, returning back to his stoic expression.
"yes" she simply replied, fiddling with her hands at the uncomfortable topic.
"i'm not saying this to get you back with me, but you don't love him charlotte" he stated, not removing his gaze from her. "excuse me?" she replied, defensively. "i want you to be happy regardless, and he doesn't make you happy" he continued, evidently confident in his words. "and how would you know that?" she shot back, however still remaining composed. "you forget that i was with you for many years Lottie, i know what it looks like when your in love and what it's like to be loved by you" he stated, as he watched a you got me expression consume her face. Glancing at his pocket watch, he clenched his eyes in frustration as he realised the time.
"business Lottie, i've got to go" he sighed, rising from his seat as she nodded her head and followed him to the door. "will you be okay?" she frowned watching as a minuscule playful smirk came about his face. "you still care" earning a scoff from her but followed by a small smile. "it doesn't matter if we're not together or the whole bloody world is against you, you know i'll be in your corner, always" his expression softening once more as he digested her words. "give me the words Lottie, and i'll see to it that he'll never contact you again" he spoke just above a whisper, his eye's practically pleading her.
"i'm going home tommy" she sighed, a saddened smile on her face. Nodding gently he let his hand caress her cheek slightly, as her breath hitched at the familiar touch.
"there's no one else in this world for me Lottie, perhaps in the next" he voiced, before turning around and leaving her home, leaving charlotte to watch him descend down watery lane, biting her lip as she shut the door.
Conflicted and Confused.
Opening the door to her penthouse, Charlotte fought the urge to slide down the back of her door as she closed it. She had just finished the painfully long journey from Birmingham to London,additionally she had made an amateur mistake and got her driver to drop her at the market so she could grab some fresh fruit and veg before she returned home. However it was certainly a busy day in London, meaning Charlotte Windsor was likely going to struggle getting through the crowds of tourists without getting recognised every fifteen seconds, and that she did. Don't get her wrong she was grateful for the love she received but fucking hell can it get tiring. Sighing heavily she made her way into the kitchen placing her bags on the counter, although she was abruptly disturbed when she almost jumped out of her skin at the figure that stood next to her.
"stan" she gasped, placing her hand on her chest "scared me half to death" she breathed, meeting his livid gaze. "where the fuck have you been?" he questioned sternly "i went home for a couple days, and something come up" she replied, frowning at his harsh tone.
"you can't fucking disappear for a week and not tell me where your going" he raged, growing angrier by the minute.
"i know i should of called, i'm sorry" she replied calmly in an attempt to diffuse the situation. "were you with him?" he abruptly questioned, walking towards her. "what no?" she frowned as she realised what he was getting at. "don't fucking lie to me!" he bellowed, making her jump as he slammed his hand down on the table. "i wasn't with him like that, but i went home and he lives there Stanley, what did you want me to do?" she rasped as he broke the distance between them.
"did you fuck him?" he continued his allegations "what no?! i would never do that to you!"she furrowed her eyebrows deeply before she earnt a harsh slap in return across her face. "what are you doing?" she threw at him, her voice breaking as she did so. "no you don't get to question me" he shook his head, grabbing her firmly by the waist and throwing her to the floor. In doing so, she caught her temple and corner of her eye on the end of the kitchen island, lights out.
Waking up from her unconscious state, she was provided with an instant headache and then realisation. What the fuck had just happened. As for Stanley he was no where to be seen,the prick had left her to get on with what he had caused. Wincing slightly she rose from the floor, glancing at the small shards of glass that were imbedded into her palm from where she had presumably landed in glass from a vase he had broken. Removing the glass from her hands, she glanced in the mirror and audibly sighed at the black eye that was already forming. She had a show that same weekend, and well that was written off now ,she couldn't exactly perform to the likes of the king with a black eye could she. Sighing once again she made her decision in a heart beat, she wasn't working, she was going back home.
Sat in polly's kitchen that same evening, Charlotte internally prayed every minute that went by that her skills had pulled through and her makeup covered every injury her body held after that morning.
For some reason, their conversation topic had fallen onto tommy once again. "why did you stay with him towards the end?" polly questioned, as she poured tea for the pair. "i did it for the plot, you only live once pol" charlotte chuckled, attempting to lighten up the atmosphere.
"no you did it because you loved him" polly nodded, confident in her statement. "well that as-well i suppose" she shrugged, honestly not in the mood to talk about her tragic love life.
"loving him was never enough" charlotte bit her lip at her own words, as polly reached over and placed her hand on top of the Windsor girls.
"how much did it hurt him?" charlotte questioned, meeting polly's gaze.
" i know he was in the wrong, but you leaving, well he stopped believing in love" she admitted on Tommy's behalf "that'll make two of us then" "are you not seeing someone lottie?" polly hesitantly asked.
"you don't get to question me" smash.
"no" charlotte shook her head as she recalled that same morning.
"are you sure your okay lottie?" polly double checked, however before Charlotte could utter a word both their attention diverted to Tommy stood at the door, a concerned and perplexed look on his face. He was more then overjoyed she was back, although why was she? he had made it known to his brothers that he didn't feel right leaving Charlotte with Stanley that night they had a run in in the club, but he couldn't put his finger on why. Tommy was very observant, specifically when it came to charlotte he was exceedingly talented in that region. He met her eyes before running his own round her frame, searching for anything, he felt his heart stop and his blood physically boil within seconds when his eyes were successful, finding finger marks around her wrist's that were a vibrant purple, he subverted his attention back to her eyes, now noticing the purple ring that accompanied one of them. "Lottie" he hoarsed, desperate to keep his composure. "come here" he gestured his head towards the hall way where the pair could be alone. This was what she was dreading, she knew full well she couldn't keep anything from tommy, especially something like this. Accepting her fate, she glanced at polly before rising from her seat and following him out. Gently picking up her wrist he lifted up the sleeve of her long sleeved dress, something she never wore might i add, to reveal the bruises around them. "what's this?" he spoke through a frown, charlotte noticing how his hands were practically shaking with fury. Turning her arms, he revealed her hands that each held small cuts as he shook his head at the sight. "what the fuck did he do?"he furrowed his eyebrow's even deeper, glancing up to meet the faint black eye under her attempt to conceal it. As he did so, charlotte fought the urge to shudder at the furious look within them. "don't worry about it tommy" she spoke just over a whisper. "hm? what do you mean don't worry?" he spoke in disbelief. "charlotte. did he do this to you?" he reiterated, emphasising each word in the question. "it's not your problem anymore tommy, please" she shot back, desperate for him to drop it.
"charlotte i know you know me very well, you are not a fool but you'd be one if you assumed i'd let a man lay his hands on you" he spoke "so i'm going to ask you again, did he do this to you?" biting her nails in stress, she sighed heavily before lightly nodding. Watching as pure frustration and rage became one on Tommy's face, as much as he thought that was the case he had hoped he'd really got it all wrong.
"fucks sake, i should never of let you go back to him" he mentally scowled himself, knowing he had a funny feeling about him to begin with.
"don't blame yourself tommy" she shook her head, as she watched the clocks turn in his brain.
"do not kill him Thomas" she demanded, her tone serious.
Tommy wanted nothing but to do that, but he nodded his head in agreement knowing she had love for him and that would hurt her.
"he won't lay a hand on you again, i'll make sure of it" he reassured, evidently seeing that his reappearance was stressing her out. In an act of pure instinct, she threw her hands around his neck as he swiftly placed his on her lower back, inhaling her comforting scent.
"Thank you" she whispered into him, the contact also providing her with comfort. "you know i'd do anything for you, regardless of what it costs me" he added, his voice carrying that vulnerable tone once again.
Pulling away, she met his gaze inhaling deeply at the unwanted effect it had on her.
her heart was pounding because she hates him
her heart was pounding because she missed him
her heart was pounding because she loves him
-
heyyy, long chapter for you girlies today🫶
i'm so sorry for not updating for a while these past few weeks have been crazyyyy busy, so please keep in mind that i will return to updating every or every other day as soon as i can!
love ya enjoy