every book must have these
all of ame's (...) represents them using asl to communicate
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Leo: I’m genuinely surprised you haven’t gotten arrested, let alone gotten a felony yet.
Tisser: Nat 20 Charisma.
Leo: That is NOT how that works-
Supernova: When I see initials carved into a tree with a heart I think it’s so romantic. Two lovers on a date... one of them carrying a knife for some reason.
Matha: *mixing different alcoholic beverages together*
Leo: What are you making?
Matha: A mistake.
Fern: I'm never having a debate with Blaze again, he literally started his argument with "Riddle me this."
Reina: Do you take constructive criticism?
Matha: Not without crying.
Ame: (The first time Comet opened a box of Cheerios and looked inside she yelled, "OH WOW! DONUT SEEDS!")
Tyle: Look, Annie, if you can fit your head down the gun’s barrel, you can assume it doesn’t have a non-lethal setting.
Ame: (Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box.)
Comet: Did Supernova say 'I love you' and you said 'Thanks'?
Ame: (THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL-)
Tisser: I would do anything for money.
*later*
Tisser, covered in blood: THE STATEMENT STILL STANDS!
Ame: (What's your most controversial video game hot take?)
Blaze: The pursuit for photorealism in games is a fruitless endeavor that only results in bloated file sizes that take too much space.
Fern: Mario is a woman and just really butch.
*Matha dies in a game with ships*
Tisser: This ship is no longer a ship of love, it's a ship of vengeance, a gavel of justice against all that is wrong in the world, showing no mercy, as no mercy was shown to us.
Tisser: The spark of love will now fuel the fires of destructive glory as I wage my war across the world with righteous fury.
Leo: Legend has it that Matha still haunts the ship, stealing my fucking drinks.
Matha: Of course I do.
Blaze, lying on the floor, depressed: I'll never be a cop. I'm gonna have to be a robber.
Comet: Are pigeons drones?
Ame: (What? No, I'm trying to sleep.)
Comet: Think about it. How come you've never seen a baby pigeon? And why do you never actually see a pigeon nest? Because they're DRONES!
Ame: *crying* (Please let me sleep...)
Leo: Made you all playlists!
Leo: Tisser, yours has only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul.
Leo: Matha, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression.
Leo: And Fern has the ABBA Gold album.
Leo: Hello, McDonald's, I would like to purchase 130 chicken nuggets. Prepare yourselves.
Tyle: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.
Tyle: And I started thinking.
Tyle: Like, it was just trying to get food.
Tyle: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck?
Annie: Are you ok?
Matha: I think it’s time I get my life in order.
Supernova, narrating: But he did not get his life in order. In fact, he got drunk last night and fought a raccoon.
Annie: *walks to cabinet, removes oreo box, takes half a sleeve, throws empty box out* Hi!
Tyle: Hey- what are you doing-?
Annie, shoving an oreo into her mouth: I am saving space :D
Supernova: What do you do when someone offers you drugs?
Comet: Take them!
Matha: Punch them in the neck!
Reina: Say thank you!
Tisser: Offer them more drugs to assert dominance!
Ame: …
Supernova: No.
Leo: That’s the longest worm I’ve ever seen.
Fern: That’s a snake.
Supernova: What do you have?
Comet: A KNIFE!
Ame: (NO!)
Matha, holding an antique bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume?
Leo: *grabs and chugs the entire bottle*
Leo:
Leo: It's perfume.
Tyle: Every time I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.
Leo: Okay, but what is updog?
Blaze: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.
Fern: No, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.
Ame: (No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.)
Tisser: Surely, that’s Uppsala, whereas updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.
Supernova: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.
Matha: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.
Annie: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.
Comet: What’s a henway?
Reina: Oh, about five pounds.
Matha: "You look tired" well, the torment is relentless and the horrors never cease.
Comet: *eating a cinnamon roll*
Ame: (Cannibalism.)
Comet: *confused chewing noises*
Fern: You use emoji’s like a straight person.
Blaze: That’s literally the worst thing anyone has ever said about me.
Leo, knocking on the door: Matha, open up!
Matha: It all started when I was a kid.
Leo: That’s not what I-
Tisser: Let him finish!
Tisser: If looking good was a crime, you’d be a law abiding citizen.
Reina: He called me the B-word!
Matha: Motherfucker doesn’t start with ‘b’.
Tisser: Rules were made to be broken.
Tyle: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Matha: Uh, piñatas.
Leo: Glow sticks.
Blaze: Karate boards.
Fern: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Tisser: Rules.
Tyle:
Reina, to Matha: One universe, nine planets, seven seas, seven continents, and I had the unfortunate luck of meeting you.
Leo: Hey, that’s not very nice-
Matha: There are only eight planets, you uncultured swine!
Leo, forgetting about Reina: VIVA LA PLUTO, FUCK YOU!
Leo: Unfortunately, due to several dufferences between my and the average person's mind, I cannot just 'walk up and join a circle of people talking', but it does sound lovely, thank you.
Reina: Define “dream”.
Matha: Dream - the first thing people abandon when they learn how the world works.
Reina: That’s too dark!
Tisser: What’s your biggest fear?
Matha: That I’ll never be good enough for anyone.
Leo: Everyone hates me and talks about me behind my back.
Reina: Zombies.
Matha: ...
Blaze: ...
Reina: BUT they can open doors.
Blaze, dashing into the room: WHY AREN’T THE DISHES IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER?!
Fern: …What does that even mean?!
Tisser: I’m a reverse necromancer!
Annie: Isn’t that just-
Tyle: No. Shut up. Shut the fuck up. You are literally so fucking unfunny that it hurts. It physically hurts my body knowing that people still think murder is funny. I cant believe I'm saying this, but do you guys know how chronically online you all are, thinking that saying “oOh iM a rEVeRsE nECrOmANcER i LOvE tO kiLL pEOpLe” is genuinely funny and will get everyone in the room shitting themselves from laughter? cause its not. It’s fucking not. In fact, it's the unfunniest fucking joke ever. Not just any joke about killing people. This one specifically. It's so unfunny and stupid. Nobody is fucking laughing at that, Tisser. It makes you look like a greasy emo kid who has never been outside once in their life and uses tumblr religiously. Like not even the funny side of tumblr. the fucking unfunny side filled with overused jokes about murder and illegal acts. Honestly, you're so unfunny, Tisser. Fuck you.
Supernova: Fun Fact! The average person will walk by 36 murderers in their lifetime.
Tisser: I like how this is a "fun" fact.
Matha: It's fun because they didn't decide to murder you.
Ame: (Comet, you’ve tried 37 times and you’ve failed every time. Give it a break.)
Comet: DO I HEAR “FIRST TRY PART 38?”
Leo: I’ve become a bread crumb dealer to four crows at the lake. They pay me with a bit of everything. Like shiny things, fabric, or pens. But recently they paid me with a 20 dollar bill they found somewhere. So I decided to buy them some more expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me money. I’ve probably racked up about 200 dollars at this point. Is it morally wrong though, I mean. They’re the ones who steal the money from others. Or perhaps they just have a big pile laying somewhere. Should I keep on doing this?
Fern: You sound like the start of a Batman villain.
Leo: Why are you doing this?
Matha: Same reason I do everything, Leo. To get somebody to like me.
Comet: I like wearing oversized sweaters. Not just because they're extremely comfy and cuddly, but because whenever the sleeves are really big, I get to flop them around and smack people.
Supernova: I love murder mysteries!
Ame, trying to impress them: (I've been a suspect in four murder cases.)
Tyle: We need a distraction.
Blaze: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?
Leo, whispering: My time has come.
Reina: Norwegia. Is. Not. A. COUNTRY!
Tisser: Then where are Norwegian people from?
Reina: NORWAY!
Tyle: Given the circumstances, I will let you hug me for four to five seconds.
Annie: Forty five seconds?!
Tyle: No! I said four TO five seconds.
Annie, hugging Tyle: Too late.
Blaze: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?!
Tyle: It's kind of complicated, but Tisser-
Blaze: Got it. Forget I asked.
Supernova: Here comes the lightning!
Supernova, whispering: You've got to imagine it coming out my fingertips, wherein I am an almighty wizard.
Ame: (Okay, currently imagining that. Hmm, not bad. Not bad at all.)
Tyle: You can’t have a gun on stage!
Leo: WRONG AGAIN! I can have a gun, and I must have a gun, that’s the rule of Chekhov’s Gun: have a gun. And now that it’s been seen, I will have to shoot someone before the end of the play.
Reina: If I may interject...
Matha: Oh, awesome, Reina was eavesdropping.
Tyle: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.
Tyle, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.
Blaze: Why do you not believe that ghosts are real?
Leo: Never seen one.
Blaze: Okay, I mean, there’s a lot of things that you can’t see that are real.
Leo: What can’t I see?
Blaze: You can’t see gravity. That’s real.
Leo: Yeah, I can drop an apple.
Blaze: ...Fuck.
Reina: Onion rings are vegetable donuts.
Matha, used to Reina being dumb: Sure...
Reina: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.
Matha: Okay?
Reina: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.
Matha:
Reina: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio-
Matha: Jesus, that one is a little-
Annie, interested: No, no, Reina, keep going.
Matha: Get your hand off my shield!
Reina: There's like a million other shields.
Matha: Take that one, it has a flower on it. Girls like flowers.
Reina: *hits Matha with the shield* Oops! Now this one has blood on it.
Fern: Respect my trans homies or I’m gonna identify as a fucking problem.
Supernova, skipping rocks on a lake with Matha: It’s such a beautiful evening.
Matha: Yeah, it is.
Matha: *whispering* Take that you fucking lake.
Leo: My favorite thing about big dogs is that when you push them over, they're all like "Oh, I'm lying down now! Someone might scratch my stomach! I might nap! Endless possibilities!"
Tyle: ...whereas, when you push little dogs over, they're all like, "Vengeance! Death before dishonor!"
Comet: The shadow realm? No, I’m sending you to Ohio!
Reina: Oooh, a train!
Matha: We’re in a train station, Reina.
*The Squad's cooking skills*
Supernova: *master chef*
Reina: *knows a few recipes*
Ame: *can follow instructions on a box*
Tisser: *made toast once*
Matha: *banned himself from the kitchen*
Supernova: What's the most illegal thing you can do with one dollar?
Matha: Exchange it for a hundred pennies, put them all in a sock, and then beat someone to death with it.
Ame: (Stop setting things on fire because you're curious about what will happen. What will happen is fire.)
Comet: But what if something else happens just this one time?
Leo: Money... Is like president trading cards.
Supernova: Remember, when burying a body, make sure to cover it with endangered plants so it’s illegal to dig up!
Supernova: Make sure to follow me for more gardening tips!
Tisser: God has let me live another day and I'm going to make it everyone's problem.
Annie: I’ve never smoked marijuana. I ate a brownie once at a party. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there was no pot in the brownie. It was just an insanely good brownie.
Comet: Wake up! The sun is shining!
Ame: (What do you want me to do, photosynthesis?)
*Matha and Leo are texting*
Matha: Who are you? Someone changed the names in my phone.
Leo: What did they change my name to?
Matha: Chosen One.
Leo: Don’t change it back.
Matha: BUT WHO ARE YOU?!?!
Leo: I’m the chosen one.