hiraeth - part seventy
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Everything had begun to fall apart. Where had he gone wrong? Everything used to be so peaceful. Memories of a time gone by, when they had first started hunting the Dragon Balls down passed through Goku's mind. When he had first confessed his feelings of love to her, she was so kind. It was so much fun, getting to explore his emotions for the first time, getting to truly fall in love for the first time. Goku had never been as happy as he had then, even when Y/n was in danger. He had gone out of his way to give her everything, to wish for her well-being, although he had ended up selfishly wasting the wish. But she forgave him, and in the end, got better. He had thought so anyway.
But now, a broken version of the girl he loved so was before him, throwing all of that away. He knew she was trying to do it for them, for the humans, for Goku. But he simply could not wrap his mind around it, he couldn't accept it. He needed to save her. He needed to give her the world, to protect her, save her from her own pain.
Goku grit his teeth, fists clenched as he squeezed his teary eyes shut. This wasn't the end. This wouldn't be the last time he would see her smile. He needed to hear her laughter once more, he needed to see her be protective over him, he needed to see her love him once again.
"I won't accept this," Goku spoke, his body beginning to shake with anger. He looked up to Y/n with pleading eyes, as if begging her to come back. "I won't abandon you, Y/n!"
Goku's hair flashed a bright blue as he flew straight at Black, Black's eyes widening as his hair turned into a deep pink, blocking Goku's attack. Y/n yelped as the force knocked her and Zamasu back, crashing right into the Kai.
Black quickly began to panic, confused. Goku was much stronger than the first time they fought. He had no doubts that Goku trained in the time they were gone, but there was also something else. He must've been driven by his anger, fighting purely off instinct.
Y/n's eyes widened as she spotted something in the corner of her eye, seeing the other three Saiyans flying at her and Zamasu. She was suddenly shoved behind Zamasu as the Kai defended her, catching Vegeta's hands as he attempted to attack.
Zamasu flung Vegeta into Trunks as the young man tried to fly around Zamasu, targeting Y/n. Trunks gasped for air as Vegeta slammed into him, the two crashing into the buildings of a ruin. Zamasu's eyes widened as Gohan suddenly slammed his body into Zamasu, knocking him down. Gohan powered up to his mystic form, rushing Y/n, making the girl panic.
"Gohan, wait!" Y/n cried out, catching his hands in her own, holding him back. Gohan grit his teeth, baring his fangs at Y/n as he glared.
"You betrayed us! I don't want to hear it!" Gohan yelled, his words shattering her heart. But it was too late to regret. She squeezed her teary eyes shut, blinking the tears away, before glaring at him.
"I did what was best for everyone! This was the only option that would save everyone's lives!" She yelled, grabbing his shoulders and slamming her knee into his gut. Gohan choked, coughing up spit. He glared at her, grabbing her wrists and dragging her down to the ground, throwing her down. Y/n let out a cry of pain as her body bounced against the concrete ground, cracks forming beneath the pressure.
"Why can't you ever be selfish for once!? Why do you always throw everything away for your so-called protection!? Do you think we can't fight, do you think we're incapable of defending each other!?" Gohan shouted, scowling down at her, anger boiling within him. Y/n stared up at him in surprise, having never seen him like this. She chuckled softly, resting her head on the ground.
"I'm just trying to make up for everything I've done," She spoke softly, closing her eyes. Perhaps there was no making up for the pain she caused. Maybe she was just a villain.
Gohan scoffed, a chuckle escaping his lips, confusing Y/n as she looked up at him. His dark eyes stared her down, making her feel small. "You're more pathetic than I realized."
Y/n felt her heart still in her chest at his words. She knew he was just angry. And yet, she could not help but feel as though he was right. She was pathetic. Tears streamed down her face as she forced herself up to her feet, fists clenched as her energy rose.
"You'll thank me once this is all over, and everyone is safe," Y/n spoke, a small, melancholic smile on her face. She obviously wasn't going to get through to them. Nobody believed her. Even though she gave them and the world everything she had, it seemed she was always bound to make mistakes, to mess up, to let everyone down. She was simply the villain now.
Y/n powered up to her Super Saiyan form, her hair turning a bright green. She clenched her fist, raising it as her soft smile faded into a deep frown. All this time, she had been trying to reign her anger while using this form. But for the first time, she had to let it all out. She had to fight with everything she had, because she was a villain now. Anything she had with them before, any friendships, relationships, connections, they were gone now. But it was for the best, Y/n had to tell herself. This was a thankless job, saving humanity.
Y/n rushed at Gohan, Gohan's eyes widening, forgetting her frightening speed. He barely had time to dodge her punch, glaring at her as he grabbed her arm, attempting to throw her. Only when she did not move did he realize his mistake. Y/n swiped her legs under his feet, knocking him down to the ground, holding him down by his neck. Gohan flinched when he felt the cool droplets of Y/n's tears hit his face, meeting her bright green eyes.
"Stay down. I don't want to hurt you," Y/n said, her words contradicting her previous thoughts. Even though she was a villain, she could not bring herself to stop caring for him. Gohan had always been her closest friend, even when Goku had been the one there for her. Gohan was the one who trusted her when Black showed up, he had even come to the future to fight for her. Even if she was a villain, she was not good at it. She still loved him.
Releasing Gohan, Y/n stood up, turning her attention to the others. Goku and Black were evenly matched, although she could tell Goku was struggling to keep his Super Saiyan Blue form from dissipating. Zamasu, while significantly weaker than everyone, was still holding his own against Trunks and Vegeta.
That is, until Trunks had sneaked up behind Zamasu. Y/n's eyes widened, suddenly realizing the mortal danger Zamasu was in. She called out to him, catching his attention as he whipped his head to look at her with wide eyes. Just as he did, Trunks's blade sunk straight through his back, the tip sticking out through his gut. Zamasu's blank eyes stared into Y/n's, the girl letting out a startled scream as she rushed toward him, leaving Gohan behind.
She came to a sudden halt as Zamasu smirked, standing up straight. No blood came from his body, almost as if there was nothing inside him. Trunks and Vegeta backed away in shock as Zamasu reached behind him, grabbing the hilt of the sword and pulling. The sword slipped out with ease, the cut closing immediately. Zamasu grinned as he grabbed the blade in his palm, squeezing tightly. The blade suddenly shattered, shiny pieces falling to the ground before him.
"Y-You're immortal..?" Y/n muttered, having been left in the dark. Zamasu smiled softly in her direction, dusting his shoulder off as he joined her side.
"Don't act so surprised. I am a god, of course I'm immortal." Zamasu spoke, although both he and Y/n knew it was not normal for Kais, especially planetary Kais, to be immortal.
Before them stood Trunks, Vegeta behind him with a look of bewilderment written across his face. Trunks hesitantly bent over and picked up the hilt of the sword, eyes wide in horror. If Zamasu was immortal, and could not die in any way or form, then did that also mean Black was immortal? Was this whole fight pointless?
Goku let out a sudden yell as Black blasted him pointblank, knocking him back. Goku skid across the ground as he crashed, bloodied and bruised. He grit his teeth, looking up through his bruised and black eye, watching as Black joined Zamasu and Y/n's side. As Goku forced himself up, standing on his feet, the others took their places at his side.
This wasn't working. Even if it was four against three, they simply weren't strong enough to face Black. Black smirked, crossing his arms as he watched the four before him struggle to even stay standing.
"We tried to warn you," Black said, dark eyes glinting in the darkness. "I gave you a chance to leave. I'm feeling particularly merciful today, so I will give you one final chance. Turn around, and walk away right now, and perhaps we'll allow you to escape to your own time."
Goku's eyes drifted down to Y/n's, staring into her e/c eyes. He knew she didn't want this, Goku knew she was scared, so why? Why was she fighting him? There was another way to save the Earth, there had to have been, Goku wouldn't rest until he found it. He couldn't just leave Y/n here, not after everything she had suffered through just to be able to live.
"Goku, just give it up," Y/n's firm voice made his eyes widen, his form flickering, blue eyes fading. She glared down at him, watching the man struggle on the ground, sighing deeply. "I am not returning. I will never, ever go back to that time, where I had nothing. I was never going to be happy there. Let's just face it, Goku. This is for the best, for us. We were never going to make it."
A wave of nausea suddenly washed over Goku, his vision beginning to blur. Her words echoed in his head like a bell's chime, memories flashing through his head, blinding him. He grit his teeth, fists clenched as he glared up at her, baring his teeth in an almost animalistic fashion.
"No," Goku forced himself to his feet, his eyes flickering wildly. He needed to do more. He had to do more, he had to give even more, for her. "No. I gave you everything I had, I won't let you stay here with that thing. You're coming back with me, if I have to drag you back."
"Black," Y/n muttered, stepping ahead of him. "Keep the others back. This is between Goku and I."
"Wait, Y/n—" Black's eyes widened as he reached out for her in an attempt to stop her from doing something she might regret. She struggled with fighting Black thanks to his appearance alone, how could she fight the real Goku? But just as soon as she called out for her, she disappeared, along with Goku.
"Are you sure you can handle fighting me?" Y/n asked with a small smirk as she adjusted her sleeve, glancing up at Goku. The smog and clouds began to thicken, masking the two in the sky. But she could very clearly see the anger in his glowing eyes, the regret for not protecting her. And now, this was where his failure had gotten him.
Y/n's green hair spiked out like that of a Saiyan's, reminding Goku of all of his failures. Even though he had given Y/n everything, he still could not bring happiness to her life. She had lost nigh everything, and it was all because she had met them. Goku squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out all of the memories flowing through his mind, trying to blot out everything holding him back from fighting her.
Clenching his fists, Goku powered up as far as his powers would allow him. He had to give it his all, even at the risk of his own life. His aura flickered, shifting. Y/n's eyes widened in confusion as something within Goku had begun to change, although she could not identify it. She had never seen this power before.
"KAIO-KEN X10!" Goku's power suddenly burst with the call of his new power, his aura exploding into a two-layered type. Y/n suddenly felt fear grip her entire being, not having known of this technique.
Squeezing her jaw, Y/n powered up as much as she could, her power pouring out of her. She flew at Goku, going for the first attack, when the man before her disappeared. She felt her leg being gripped, her heart pounding in her chest as Goku flung her at the ground.
Goku flew at her, dodging her stray ki blasts as she tried to hit him. Y/n choked on a gasp as he was suddenly right in her face, elbow in her gut as she slammed into the ground. Biting her lip, she threw her leg up in an attempt to attack, of which Goku simply kneed her thigh, pinning her to the ground. The faint sounds of the others fighting pulled Y/n's attention away for mere seconds, before the pain in her leg as Goku pushed his knee into her soft flesh drug her attention back.
Y/n looked up to him with teary eyes, as if begging him to understand. She was doing this not just for Trunks and his people, but for Goku. She wanted him to understand she was a bad person. But she got no response. It was strange, she could feel pain through their connection, but it almost felt like it wasn't Goku's pain.
Goku hadn't even noticed the missing feelings. He didn't notice the lack of connection. He had all but forgotten it. He knew something was missing within him, he should have felt more fighting Y/n, but it wasn't there. There was nothing holding him back anymore.
Y/n squeezed her eyes shut, letting out a frustrated yell as she focused her energy in her chest, letting her aura explode in a burst of light. Goku yelped as he was suddenly blown back, his back hitting the ground as he skidded across the broken concrete. His eyes widened as he was grabbed by the neck of his gi, being lifted to look in the eyes of Y/n's golden eyes.
"I'm going to save everyone in this worthless timeline even if it kills me!" She shouted, before punching him in the face as hard as she could. Goku's head jerked from the force, blood pooling on the edge of his bruised lip. He chuckled, his bright eyes ever dark as they clouded with anger.
The two clashing shook the ruins, buildings threatening to crumble under all of the force. Even with all of her power, compared to Goku's newest show of power, she couldn't hold out. Goku had finally surpassed her, at the worst time, and now she could not defend what she was fighting for.
It was ironic, really. No matter what Y/n did, she was never strong enough. She could never defend herself and her home. Even with her power, she could do nothing. Just as she died in her past life, Y/n would die here, unable to fight for what she believed in. She didn't want to die again.
Y/n's eyes widened as an unfamiliar, unidentifiable feeling enveloped her, pulling her from her fight with Goku. She felt isolated all of a sudden, empty, alone. Where had everyone gone? Y/n's head whipped around, trying to spot a familiar face, but she did not know any of these people. Where was she?
Goku didn't notice her odd behavior, nor the shift in her energy. Her wide, frightened eyes met his as his fist smashed into her face, blood pooling into her mouth. Y/n let out a cry of pain, but Goku didn't stop. They were fighting, he had to beat her. That was the whole point, wasn't it? So why wasn't she fighting back anymore?
Black felt a sharp, stabbing pain suddenly coursing throughout his body, distracting him from his fight with Vegeta. Knocking Vegeta back, Black's head whipped to the source of the pain, his connection. His eyes widened as he watched Goku beat Y/n, as if urging her to fight back. Something was wrong, something was dearly wrong. And it was about to get much worse.
"Y/N!" Black shouted, his yells turning the others' attention to Y/n. Black flew after Y/n, trying to intervene, to put a stop to their senseless fight, but it was too late.
Goku slammed his fists into Y/n's gut, Y/n crashing into the ground violently, the ground crumbling beneath the pressure. Both Goku and Black suddenly felt a sharp, painful snap, the sounds of bones cracking filling the cold, dead air. And then silence. There was nothing. No feelings, no pain, no emotions, it was all gone.
"Y/N, NO!" Black ran to her side, dropping to his knees and taking her frail body into his arms. She was rapidly growing cold, the air freezing her weakened body. Her back contorted in ways it wasn't meant to, blood spilling from her mouth. Y/n coughed, choking on her own blood, the light in her eyes fading. And yet, Black felt none of it. He could no longer feel her pain.
"Zamasu, quickly!" Black called for his counterpart, his heart thundering in his chest. Zamasu's eyes widened, rushing to take his place at Black's side, confusing the Saiyans he was fighting moments ago.
"Wh-What happened..?" Gohan muttered, trying to get a clear view of Y/n from where he stood. She seemed fine only moments ago, what could have happened to have her in such a weakened state? Why was Black so worried for her? Surely Goku couldn't have hurt her that badly, right?
Zamasu took Y/n into his arms as gently as possible, wincing as he felt the bones in her back. Not even Zamasu was sure he could bring her back from such a state. Standing up, Zamasu very carefully backed away from Black, uncertain of what the outcome for Black's next actions would be. This could have been it for them, for all he knew.
"You..." Black clenched his fists, nails digging into his palms and breaking the skin. His blood covered his fingers, dripping onto the cold, dead ground. His pink bangs shadowed over his eyes, hiding the overflowing anger in his eyes. Goku could only stare from where he floated in the air, as if letting his brain process what just happened, what he did to Y/n.
"YOU BASTARD!" Black shouted, his whole body shaking with unrivaled anger. "She was going to let you all go! We were going to let you continue on living your miserable lives! She showed you mercy! And you shove it in her face!"
Black could barely contain himself long enough to get his words out. Never, in all of his seven hundred years of existence, had he seen such disrespect, such evil. Y/n was his supposed lover, the one who sacrificed it all for Goku, and how did he repay her? By nearly taking her life.
"I won't show such mercy now. You've shown your true colors to me, Son Goku. You are the most foul, disgusting mortal I have ever had the displeasure of laying my eyes upon. I will put your name and body to good use, for justice! I will take revenge for Y/n, I will kill you all with my bare hands." Black hissed, his very aura dripping with venom.
But Goku could not focus on any of Black's threats. Only now, with her presence truly gone, did Goku realize the weight of his actions, of his mistakes. Staring down at his hands, the very hands that had nearly taken Y/n's life, Goku could only mutter one thing.
"She's gone," He muttered, her presence gone. He couldn't feel her anymore. He had shattered the connection between them. "She's gone."
He could almost see her blood on his hands, reminding him of what he had ruined.
"She's gone."
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// word count - 3381 //