"All I need is love
All I need is a word
All I need is us"
🫧🫧🫧
"So are you guys like, reunited now?"
Vanessa galnced up at me for a quick second before staring back at my nails with which she was working her art on. She's an amazing nail artist, and apparently I am a proud test monkey. A few minutes ago she called me, saying she wanted to try something new, and I came without any form of hesitance.
When she becomes a professional nail artist one day, I'd know I played a small part in it. By being her test monkey.
Oh I'm such a good friend.
But I digress! .... I've always wanted to say that.
"I don't know! And she then started crying and I had to comfort her so-"
"Huh? There's nothing wrong with comforting her."
"What do you think?"
"Hm?"
"Should I forgive her? She seemed sincere and...and she was crying. She also looked really regretful."
"Child, if you want to forgive her it's up to you." She spoke 'wisely'.
"Yeah... But what if I want it to be up to you now." She gave me a look. "fine fine!"
***
I let myself fall to the bed. I was utterly exhausted, all I could think to do was sleep for...24 hours or more.
I tucked myself in, feeling very cozy from the AC and the right amount of sunshine streaming down from my window to the bed. And I was this close to sleeping...I could feel the dream already coming in until...
MY FREAKING PHONE RANG.
I groaned. I kicked. I threw the duvet covers off me and sluggishly walked over to my desk where it was discarded.
"Hey." I heard the surprise in his tone.
I didn't check the caller ID, did I?
"Hello Jason." I grumbled.
"So... Star finally talked to you?"
"Yeah?..."
"....Uh it's a good thing you guys finally sort it out on the field yesterday."
"...how did you know?"
"I saw you guys. Hugging."
For some stupid reason, my cheeks turned a bit red. "I don't know what we are ok?."
"Funny. That's exactly how you feel about us."
"Why did you call?" I was getting annoyed.
"I didn't mean to sound mean. Sorry."
"Why did you call?"
"You know why I called." I didn't reply. "Amy please. I wasn't lieing when I said what I said at the cafe, but I'm sorry for not being truthful from the start ok? I'm trying, I really am, doesn't that show I still care about you? If you took a second to look at me you'd see how tired I am. I was scared. It's stupid I know, and no I'm not blaming it on my stupidity, and yes I admit that I am stupid-"
"Jason." I bit back a smile. "I don't hate you anymore." Just yesterday I 'made up' with Star, now I'm talking to Jason and actually stopping myself from smiling. I'm on a roll.
"Really?" He finally said after a while of silence. "S-sorry, I suddenly have to hang up. B-bye."
"Bye."
"We will talk tomorrow at school. Right?"
I smiled. "Right." I heard a celebratory yes! before I hung up.
I looked at my bed with the scattered duvet, then I looked at my window, noticing the reduce of sunshine, before looking back to my phone.
I didn't know how to feel about the fact my heart skipped a beat when I thought of Jason at that moment.
***
I slammed my locker shut.
It was finally lunch time. Time to eat. Time for uninterrupted gossip. Time to see Xavier's friends again. I let out a long sigh.
From nowhere, two arms wrapped around my waist, sliding to my stomach as it pulled me flush against a chest. I felt his hot breath on my neck as he casually whispered a 'hey'.
I spun around and tried to push him away, but he still held on to me.
"Why are you always so dramatic?!"
"What? No one is here." He had a boyish grin as he looked at me, mischief written all over his face, deep blue eyes twinkling and all. I looked around, and indeed, not a single soul.
Are they that hungry?
"Doesn't matter." I huffed.
"Then why are you blushing?"
"We won't talk about that. I'm hungry." I walked past him and marched to the cafeteria. He caught up with me easily, laughing as he put his arms around me and pulled me to his side.
"You were really tired yesterday, are you all good now?"
"Yeah I'm ok."
"You went to a spa or something?"
"No. Actually, I talked with J-" I stopped myself. I didn't know if I should tell Xavier about my call with Jason yesterday, because I don't know how he would react. Things have been so calm lately, and I don't want a simple phone call to ruin it.
But I could still hear Eli shouting Communication is key!
"What? What happened?"
"Uh...I talked with Jane. It was her brother's birthday." I thanked my memory.
"Really?" He sounded very unconvinced. "So why did you stop yourself."
"I..." Didn't know what to say. I looked around, for anything or anyone to help, but I was stuck. It was like I was cornered. Or like I was trapped.
His gaze never left me, it was like a fire somehow that only fueled my nervousness. He knew that. Maybe I should just tell the truth.
"I called Jason, Ok?"
"Why was that so hard to tell me?" He stopped walking, his hands raising my face to meet his eyes.
"I thought you'd be annoyed or something, I don't know."
"Why would I be annoyed?"
Translation: is there a reason I should be annoyed?
"Let's forget about it ok? I just agreed to talk to him again. That's all." He just stared at me, like he was weighing his options and picking the best thing to say: Nothing.
"Fine." He let go of my cheeks and continued walking, leaving me to catch up with him. "I just don't want to see you guys kissing again."
After we survived the incredibly long line of students, we walked in silence to our usual tables, where Noah and Oliver were waiting for us already.
As expected, Noah was back to his normal self, which meant he wouldn't start sulking and acting all emo. Yes, Star avoided him too since she was avoiding me, but because we talked it out like normal mature adults... they're back together.
Yay!
Don't mind me...
"What's up with you?" Xavier asked once we sat down and I took a bite of my fries. I glanced up at him to see him giving Noah the side eye.
"Obviously he's back together with his lover-"
"I'm not that obvious!" He interrupted me, ignoring the side eye.
"I don't know how you guys do it." Oliver spoke up. "I mean, to let someone have control over your emotions...it leaves a big opportunity for heartbreaks. Then depression. Then suic-"
"Oliver!" I think i lost my appetite.
"Chill, I was joking. But still."
"Well..." I looked back at Noah, and we shared a kind of mutual understanding. "It's worth it."
I could feel Xavier's burning gaze leave Noah and snap to me. It was like I was meat in a furnace. Burning. Melting...
Meat doesn't melt though...but I do.
What is wrong with my mind today?!
"Yeah." Noah smiled warmly at me.
"Sorry, I'll pass." He chuckled. "Plus, It's not always worth it, giving your emotions to someone on a silver platter."
"That's why it's so important to find the right person." Noah said in a quiet voice, but still loud enough for all of us to hear him. "Right Xavier? Say something."
I didn't want to, but I looked up at him with Noah and Oliver. He was staring down at his food, like he was deep in thought. We stared at him for a second or two before he finally looked up, surprise clear on his face.
"Huh?"
"Yup, he wasn't listening." Oliver said, rolling his eyes.
"I-i was! I just didn't get the last part." He looked at Noah. "You guys were talking about...love and emotions and all."
"I asked if you agree with Amy."
Then he looked at me.
And I am not lying when I say I couldn't move. My heart couldn't function properly for a while, my mind cleared completely... I just stared back at him.
At those eyes.
You know, it's not fair he gets eyes like that.
Someone cleared their throat, and we turned to Oliver. Oh yeah, people were here.
Noah looked like an awestruck little child, while Oliver was smirking. I blushed, looking down.
"We have an answer then." Oliver said smugly. I could even hear the smirk.
"Shutup." Xavier muttered.
"Back to what we were saying, maybe I'll try it out one day."
"You don't just try out relationships!" Noah chided him, turning from a little child to an experienced mother.
I didn't even hear the rest of their banter. All I could think of was Xavier's eyes. His deep, sinking, captivating, beautiful, manipulating, deceiving, evil, utterly attractive eyes...And how they affected me so much just few seconds ago.
Is that possible? To be basically paralyzed simply by someone's eyes?! Well, I guess it is, cause it literally just happened. I think the real question is if it's actually ok. If it's normal. And now that I think about it, he seemed to be just as...stuck as I was. Maybe-
"Amy!" I jumped. My wide eyes met with Noah's. I looked around, everyone was throwing their trays and leftovers into the trash bags.
"Sorry." I sighed, trying to get up just to be pushed down by Oliver.
When did he get beside me?!
"What's with you two?" He stared at Xavier and I, kind of annoyed, kind of intrigued.
"What do you mean?" Xavier asked, and I flinched when I realized he was closer than before. A bit too close.
"Don't think about playing dumb." Noah folded his arms. "We don't have to explain your behavior right?"
"Right." He replied.
"So?" Oliver asked.
"I don't know." I shrugged, avoiding the three pairs of eyes burning me.
What's with the burning today huh?!
"We all have to get to class so can this wait?" Both Noah and Oliver narrowed their eyes at the both of us, before finally giving up and granting Xavier's request.
"Whatever." Noah shrugged, dragging Oliver along with him. "Throw our trash and we forgive you." They smirked at us before dissapearing into the crowd.
Leaving us. Xavier and I. And their trash.
"We need to talk." He said quietly as he held up both Noah's and Oliver's plates before I could even stretch my hands. Then he took mine too.
I knew I shouldn't have mentioned Jason. And our conversation with Noah and Oliver didn't help at all. I needed to know what he was thinking.
Well, I might when we 'talk'.
"Uh..." Was all I could manage to say.
When he was done, he took my hands, lacing them together as we left the cafeteria and walked slowly. That's a good sign right? When we were actually walking to the cafeteria, he didn't hold my hand like he always does.
"Now? In the crowded hall ways?" I asked, not looking at him.
"Up to you." He shrugged.
"You wanted to talk."
"You want to hear what I have to say."
"Xavier."
He always does this.
He took a detour, and led me to the field. We sat on the grass, and all I could think was 'I guess I'm skipping once again.'
"So?" I asked after a moment of silence. To be honest, I was hiding my nervousness, and I think I was doing pretty well.
"Honestly, I don't know what to say. Or how to say it. I just knew I wanted to be here with you. It's peaceful outside." He closed his eyes, probably trying to get to his inner peace. I smiled at the idea.
I looked up at the sky, the sun light wasn't too much, but it wasn't too dull either. The clouds made perfect mixes and odd shapes. I let out a deep breath, before turning to Xavier and just... looking at him.
Weird, I know, but when you have a very attractive guy who just happens to be your boyfriend, seating next to you on the grass outside where it's so peaceful...what do you expect me to do?
"I feel you staring." He said in another quiet voice, eyes still closed. I blushed and looked away.
"What's in your head?"
"You."
My cheeks turned red the more, even though he isn't looking at me to see it.
"That's what you wanted to talk about? Me?"
"In a way, yes. But I just said I don't know-"
"I know you said that." I clenched my hand into a fist on the grass just so they could surround my fingers. "Since I told you about Jason calling me, you've been acting different."
He finally opened his eyes and stared at me, smirking. "Is it because I said I don't want you guys kissing again?"
"No!-"
"Shhhhhhhh!"
"Noo!" I whisper yelled.
"Whatever you say." His smirk faltered. Then fell. "I'm sorry. Sometimes, I just act different, ignore the warnings in my head, then I do stupid things."
"Yup, you're very stupid sometimes." He playfully glared at me. But it was worth it because he smiled again.
"I'm not...angry or annoyed that you talked to Jason. Heck, even if you guys become best friends I won't get in your way."
"Doesn't sound like it."
"Hey, Butterfly, I'm trying here." I giggled. "That doesn't matter anyway." He held my hand, looking away. "All that talk about emotions...I don't know why or how it got me thinking. And then you said... Uh, sorry I'm a bit lost right now."
"Your thoughts are all over the place, aren't they?" My smile widened. "Happens to me a lot."
"You're an overthinker so that's a normal." He snickered. "I don't usually do overthinking. It makes my head hurt."
"Tell me about it."
"Wait does your head literally hurt?" He turned his head to look at me with concern.
"Fortunately, no."
"Good...and yes my thoughts are all over the place this time." He rest his head on my shoulder.
I love when he does that.
"And then we had that...look. You had that look."
"What look?"
He shook his head. "I don't really know how to explain it. I don't know what to call it. I just know...it did things to me."
I think my neck is red now.
"What's making you talk about it suddenly?"
"I know I usually don't talk about this stuff. I don't talk about the way you make me feel every second but...maybe I should. Maybe that way you'll understand that I don't think what we have is still fake. That way you'll understand I like you. I want to take you on dates, I want you having sleepovers with me- and yes, you can sleep in the guest room.Pg 13 and all."
I let out a slow breath. As usual, I was lost for words.
Lately, I've been wondering what Xavier actually thought of me. I still had doubts about the whole him actually liking me genuinely, even though we went on a date.
This was all I needed. And somehow, he knew. He always does. But I still didn't know how to respond, because I wasn't sure how I felt. All my emotions are all over the place. How am I sure he's telling the truth?
"Does this mean you'll be confessing your undying love to me everyday?" He raised his head up from my shoulder, making sure to leave as little space between us as possible.
"If you want me to." He smirked back at me.
"Thank you."
And then ....I kissed him.
I think it's safe to say today is a really good day, though it had it's weird moments.
Hey again!!!
So how do you feel about the story so far?? Good? Meh? Please I need honest opinions so I can improve.
Anyway, have a good day/night!