My body felt like lead. Heavy and not my own. As my eyes opened, I felt the glare of white, lucid lights. And squinting, I aimed to refocus my vision.
Had I left the windows open throughout the night? Since when had the light in my room been this... overbearing in the mornings?
"Grant," I murmured, reaching out beside me to feel for him, but my hand didn't move. Instead, it stung. "Did-Did I leave... the window...?"
"Tessa." I heard a voice, female and familiar, from somewhere around me.
And that in itself popped open my eyes, sensitive and dilated as they were.
"Mom? What are you..." but the words rolled out of my reach again, and I quieted. She stood right beside me, attentive and smiling softly over me.
"Hey, Tessa, sweetie."
"Mom. You're here early- Ow." I tried to reach out for my head, where a hollow pain reverberated, but even my hand hurt, and I looked down to find it punctured by a needle and connected to a tube. An IV.
The walls around me, a stark white, screamed.
"Goddammit," I swore under my breath. Pieces of the night rushed to me then. His face, those blood thirsty green eyes and the rage of his hands. He threw me, and I was falling. Even now I felt as though I were falling further and further away into my thoughts, which so mercilessly pounded against my skull. Questioning.
But I was at a hospital. My body sore. My head throbbing and my senses weakened with drugs. Where the hell were Grant and Stella?
"Mom. Stella and Grant. Where are they?"
She gave me a soft smile and patted my thigh, then kissed my cheek gently. I could see from the way she was biting her lip that she was fighting tears.
"They're perfect. Grant took Stella to the cafeteria for some cookies. And he's getting himself a coffee. He's been here all night and all day, refusing to get much more than a few moments of sleep. And your father was here just a moment ago, but he went to our house to get you one of my nightgowns to wear when you awoke."
She kept patting my hand, unable to believe that I was truly fine.
But I was fine, wasn't I?
"Why didn't he go to my apartment? It must be closer, right? To the hospital, I mean." It was so difficult to even speak correctly.
"Why, yes. Yes, it is. But your apartment's been closed off by the police department for investigation," she said softly.
I nodded my head, annoyed at myself for missing the obvious. "Of course."
She waited.
"Where is Dominic?" I asked, looking into my mother's eyes without abashment. She had to see that he was nothing to me. That I felt no more fear, and most definitely no more anger, no more pain, because it had all evaporated when Grant saved me.
"They're treating him medically for the gun-wound. But he's been arrested. Grant gave a statement, and the detectives will be coming when the doctor lets them know that you're awake to get a statement from you."
"Right..." I mumbled, more and more inquiries forming inside my head, conflicting me.
"Sweetie," my mother began, her eyes clouding with concern. "Try not to stress your mind so much. It isn't good after a concussion."
"Concussion. That's what it was." I shifted in the bed, whimpering when the onslaught of pain spread throughout my torso.
I remembered his hands, curved lethally into fists. Then flattened. And the bite and brand of his belt over my skin. My body as it hit the floor and bed.
"Tessa," my mother breathed, alarmed. "Are you alright? I can call the nurses for pain relievers instantly. You just let-"
"No. No." I answered quickly. Adamantly refusing any more hindrance to my senses; anymore drugs if I was able to decline them.
I hurt. But I could bear it. I had to.
I smiled at her, a small smile that tried to touch my eyes, if only to ease her discomfort.
"I must look awful," I joked. But I felt my free hand reach for my face before I could stop it, and the light brush of my fingers brought a stir of pain to my cheek. "Well," I murmured quietly, sure that my skin would look worse than it felt.
I could only think of Grant. Of what he thought, seeing me like this. And pain of a worse kind stabbed my heart.
"I'm going to call the doctor," my mother said, reaching for something beside her with hooded eyes I was too tired to question. "He has things to tell you."
I reached out for her hand and caught it, ignoring the pain by my rib cage at such a sudden jerk of motion. "No. Please. Not until after I see them."
Her eyes clouded. "Baby, I exceeded the rules already by a good ten minutes. I was supposed to call Dr. Gleason right after you woke, if you awoke without any staff in the room."
"I'm clearly okay."
"No. You're not," she began softly, "You wince every time you speak. And don't think I haven't noticed that you've been doing your best not to move or shift any muscle in your body to keep from feeling their existence."
"I want to cry," I groaned, and for a moment I thought I might.
She reached out for me and took my palm. "No, no, honey. Please. Just a few moments with the doctor and Grant will be here with you. I'll wait with Stella outside while you both talk."
"But I want to see her, too." I countered, forgetting that I was twenty-three and damning maturity to hell. "She must be so scared and shocked after all this-"
"She's worried about you, baby. But she knows you're going to be better. She's strong and intelligent. And don't you worry your head off, Tessa, girl. Please." She spoke as if the last sentence pained her.
"I know... But God, I want to see them-"
And the door opened.
I expected the doctor, but my chest expanded and released when I saw his body through the crack of the door, strong and beautiful. He looked up from beside him, where Stella stood holding his hand, and I saw his face. His pure blue eyes were tired, his strong jawline and cheeks covered with a soft, dark shadow of hair.
I felt my heart twist at the sight of his troubles, because I knew he hadn't slept for me. I knew he was worried and angry and tired. Oh, so very tired.
"The doctor's on his way," my mom said, before he could look at me. "I'll step outside with Stella when he comes. Come say hi to Tessa, quick," she urged, smiling at Stella, who unlatched her hand from Grant's and came to the side of my bed in a hurry.
I could feel him stare at me, but my eyes went to the little girl beside me who struggled to come closer without overstepping what she felt were my boundaries.
"Come right here, baby," I murmured, patting at the spot beside me over the mattress.
Her eyes hesitated, but she reached out to me.
"I don't want to hurt you," she whispered.
And a big figure came beside her and took her into his arms, placing her softly beside me so that she was nestled underneath my arm, the IV out of reach.
I looked up at him from above her head and felt my heart break a little more. I mouthed a thanks and he leaned down, brushing his lips to my forehead. Lingering.
"How are you?" I asked Stella, using my uninjured hand to take hers.
When she looked at me from her side I was smiling softly. She seemed to stare into me, telling me to be truthful.
"Scared and sad that you're hurt," she said.
"Don't be scared, please. I promise that he won't come back to us again-"
"Not that," she interrupted calmly. "Grant told me that he's in jail, and won't come out for a long time."
I looked to Grant, and he gave me a nod, his lips softly reassuring me.
"Then why are you scared?"
Stella moved closer to my ear, shifting carefully so as not to disturb me.
"I already lost one mom. I'm scared of losing you, too."
She rendered me speechless. I looked at her before I could move again. "Stella, sweetheart, I'm okay. I have a bit of a headache and I'm a little hurt, but I'm staying here, with you," I smiled. "Always."
Her eyes lit slowly, and her lips became a smile. "Then I won't be sad anymore."
"Please don't be," I chuckled, noticing that a tear had fallen down my face.
"Give me a kiss," I murmured, "the doctor is coming to talk to me for a little bit."
She kissed me, then outstretched her arms so that Grant took her into them and settled her on her feet.
"I love you," I told her. And she repeated the words with a little dance that lifted my heart.
My mother took her out into the hallway, and I felt the shift of the air now that he and I were alone.
I looked up at his face.
He was standing there, arms crossed over his chest. And then he went to his knees beside me so that he stood overwhelmingly near to me.
My injured hand twitched, wanting to touch him, but the sensation of the wound was so unsettling that I dropped it to my side again.
He brought his hand to my face, his arm resting heavily over my breast. And I breathed out with belonging, closing my eyes.
"I have never been," he began with strain, "this goddamn afraid in my life, Tessa O'Brien."
"I'm so sorry-"
"No. This wasn't your fault," he stopped me. "Tell me you're aware of that."
"I am."
And calmer, with an almost painful accuracy, he continued. "I am just so painfully happy that you're alright, and here, and healing. And with me. I just wish that I wouldn't have left. So that he wouldn't have been able to scare you and Stella, or to have hurt you so. Or to have touched you-"
"Grant, don't do that to yourself. Please. He wouldn't have come after me until he was sure you weren't there. There was nothing we could've done. But we're all alright now. We are. Because of you. Our hero." I smiled at him, putting my safe hand to his.
Yet his eyes remained dark with affliction, and I yearned to reach out for him, to comfort him.
"I hate that you're in pain," he murmured. "I couldn't sleep thinking that you were like this."
My heart hurt a little more.
"You have to sleep. I'll feel a thousand worlds better if you're feeling rested."
He smirked softly this time, sitting straight so that he could look at me wholly. "I'll try, if it'll help you out."
I chuckled softly, careful not to move excessively to avoid upsetting the bruises. And when I saw the flickering of pain and rage through his eyes, I felt myself sink.
Looking at my hands, anywhere but at him, I started to speak. "Grant, I don't know if you're comfortable with all this excess trouble and drama. You must feel so... cornered. I mean, look at me and all this-"
He froze. "What are you even trying to get at-?"
The door opened again, but this time a slender man of forty or so years entered the room. My doctor, with an easy smile on his face.
"Hello, Tessa. I'm afraid I've been with you a while now, but haven't quite met you. I'm Dr. Gleason."
"Nice to meet you," I said. But I could only think of the outrage on Grant's face when I last spoke. And now, I could see, it was expertly replaced with a smooth absence of emotion.
"I'm going to follow procedure to make certain you're well now that you're awake, and I'll tell you shortly after about your medical state. So far everything seems fine, just a minor concussion and some harsh bruising that will heal within a matter of weeks."
When he was finished with procedure, he informed me about the pain relievers I would take once at home, and the precautions I would have to take to ensure a speedy recovery from my head injury.
The doctor continued. "After I was told that you're sexually active, and after the extent of your injuries, though minor, I found that it would be best to authorize an early pregnancy test for precautionary measures. Mr. Gable approved."
My head started to reel.
I found that I was staring at the name on the doctor's lab-coat for longer than was necessary, and when Grant squeezed my hand, I broke free of the trance.
"Well, um. You should tell me what you found, of course. Although I-"
"The results came back positive, Ms. O'Brien. Congratulations," he smiled. "Your child is in perfect condition."
"You... You mean to say that I'm pregnant." I stated.
Before the doctor could reply, Grant interjected. "Dr. Gleason, I'm sure you've told her a good deal. Would you mind it if I had a word with my girlfriend, privately?"
"Of course. I'll return when you press the button. But please, Tessa, don't strain yourself. It isn't good for your recovery."
And with that the doctor left the room, and I was left in shock. Not a single nerve in my body told me what to do next.
Pregnant. A baby. Grant. How did he feel?
"You knew," I began. "You and my mother knew. Why didn't you tell me?"
"The doctor told us not to rile you before your checkup." He paused, studying me potently. "Tessa, what's going through your head right now?"
I looked up at him, saw that he was fighting with himself. And I softened for him, loving him so much that it actually pained me. But I was still so afraid. So afraid that perhaps this had all become too much for him, and that I was causing him trouble that he shouldn't feel obliged to face.
"Grant-" I cut myself off, exhaling suddenly. My chest hurt where it was bruised, and he rushed to me, brushing his fingers over my hair when I silently let him know that I was fine.
"A baby," I whispered to myself. A baby. Grant's baby.
And then I remembered, and pushed away the swelling of emotion in my chest.
"You must feel so cornered," I repeated. "Trapped, and especially now," I trailed off. God, I couldn't help the tears. They started to fall freely down my face in an intoxicating blend of self pity and heartbreak. "But you don't have to be any of those things for me. You don't..."
"Stop." His harsh voice made me catch my breath.
Then softer he whispered, catching my hand and kissing every finger gently. "Do you want this baby?"
"Why would you even doubt that?"
"Because you're doubting me."
I couldn't speak, just stared at him wordlessly.
"Trapped and cornered," he repeated my words gingerly, playing them out on his tongue. "Trapped and cornered because of you, you say. Well, I am. I'm so in love with you, Tessa, that I can't imagine being without you. And if that's trapped and cornered then so be it, I'll give you the key and let you throw it away. But why, in all heavens, darling, do you have to doubt what you are to me?"
I was crying completely now, holding onto his face that he had placed just inches from mine.
"Be-Because you mean the world to me. You can break me, inside. I figured that if I told you I understood why you'd have to leave, I might actually understand it myself."
He stayed silent, looking at me closely.
"Tessa. That night in your studio when we were together, and you told me that you loved me, my heart and body just about exploded with happiness. But I couldn't decide if you meant what you'd said, or if you'd been caught up in the moment. Yet I was holding you so close to me, after you dozed off, still wrapped inside you. And I knew that I would do whatever it took to make you love me.
"But I had known that I loved you way before then. Way before then."
"When?" I asked, wondering why he was telling me this.
"The night you came to me, after we'd fought, and you'd told me your story. You confided in me. You let everything go. And I fell in love with you then."
"So long ago..." I whispered.
"Yes. Believe me when I say I'm not breaking you. I'm not leaving you. Or my Stella. Or the baby growing inside you that's ours, too." He laid his hand, tenderly, over my belly.
"I love you." I breathed. "So much."
He closed his eyes. Opening them to kiss me fiercely, if just for a second. I nearly begged for him to return to his kiss.
"Are you mine?" He asked me.
"Completely." I answered, devoid of hesitation.
"Then marry me. I want you to be my wife, and to do this right. Because you're the world to me."
I trailed my hand over his skin, my flesh throbbing slightly with discomfort, and felt the strength of his arm, his shoulders.
My man.
"You shouldn't use that hand-"
"I don't care. I want to feel you."
And so I felt him, and I trailed over every inch of him as he watched me. Our eyes holding the other.
"You'll be my husband." The word felt like heaven on my tongue.
"Yes." He caught my frail hand and kissed it, his mouth warm.
I felt my body yearn for him. This would happen every night now, without fail.
"I can live with that," I whispered, "if you promise to kiss me right now. Really kiss me."
And so he did, leaning over my body with his body and stealing from my mouth as if it were his belonging.
And it was.
"Is that a yes?" He asked.
I was still trying to breathe. "Yes. Yes. God, yes."
He let out a breath and smiled softly. But then that beautiful, charming grin spread over his features.
"We have to tell Stella." I announced, a smile coming over me. My heart soaring. "She's going to be so happy, right? And she'll love the flowers. The dresses. She'll be a princess."
"So will you." He kissed my wrist, trailed his lips over my arm.
"I think I'll cry."
"Hell, so do I."
I laughed. "Heavens. Take me home. Please. I'm really quite fine."
"I agree with you. I want you home. I'll bribe the doctor."
I laughed some more and felt his mouth with my fingertip, that subtle swell of his lip and the curve of his grin.
"When," I asked softly, staring into his steel blue eyes, "will I be able to make love to you again?"
The grin fell off his face, and his eyes grew heavy. He gently rested his hand over my thigh.
"Before the week ends, I imagine. Or I will die."
Then I laughed once again, and knew that my life was perfectly complete with him. With my little girl, and the babe inside me that was already taking yet another piece of my heart.
This was what I had searched for, and found. What had found me.
And I was free now. Grant made me free.
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Hello, all! This was the last chapter. Oh my. But not quite. There will be an epilogue posted soon! Don't miss it.