Hey guys! Hope you are well.
Lets start.
****
Kunti was throwing flower petals on Kanhaiya while the latter was marrying. "Kyu Kunti mil gyi apni 6 guno vaali bahu?" One neighbour ask Kunti to tease her. "Haan haan. Meri bahu bhot sundar hai, Master chef ki winner hai, double MA aur PhD hai, saare vrat rakhti hai, bolti hai to lagta hai ki muh se phool jhad rhe hain aur business ka toh bhot gyaan hai use." Kunti said proudly.
Kanhaiya lifts the veil of his wife and sees pillow. He falls off the bed scared and looked around pouting. "Phir vahi sapna! O dear god, kam se kam sapne mein to shaadi karva do yaar. Asal mein to hoti dikh nhi rhi hai." He said and draped saree over him. "Uthie na. Uthie. Ab ka pure meerut ka aap hi so jayenga ka." He said in girly voice. "Arey neend aa rhi hai. Raat bhar to khud hi sone nhi deti ho." He said in manly voice removing the pallu of saree and again putting it back.
"Dhatt, bhot shaitan ho gye hain aap. Jaiye jaiye dukan jaiye. Paise kamaiye. Jaiye jaiye." He said again in girly voice. "Arey humari Laxmi to tum hi ho dukan jake kya krenge? Yahan aao." He said again in manly voice. "Haaye daiya. Logo ka subah subah pressure banta hai aapka to mood ban rha hai." He said blushing. "Arey mood ban hi gya hai to yaha aao." He said before kissing the pillow. Just then the door of his room opened to show Pratap.
"Anarkali." He said in a bhari voice. Kanhaiya quickly left the pillow and started removing the saree. "Tamanna jaag uthi itni ki takiya daboch liya!" He said in a teasing manner.
"Hatt, kya jije andar aane se phle darwaza to khat-khata liya karo." Kanhaiya said looking at himself in mirror. "Darwaza shaadi shuda logo ka khat-khataya jaata hai saale sahab, kunware logo ka nhi." Pratap said and Kanhaiya hummed irritated. "Kab se takiye ki anarkali bana kar zulm dha rhe ho. Chalo, sasu ma bula rhi hai." Pratap said and Kanhaiya smirked. "Hmm, samjh gye kal Akbar ke role pe ande kha ke aaye ho." He said and Pratap shool his head. "Ande nhi tamatar." He said and Kunti shouted from downstairs," Arey o jamai lalle, Kanhaiya ko jagane gye ho ya lori sunane?" She called and Pratap quickly ran to Kanhaiya.
"Saale saab jaldi chalo. Late tum karoge aur maiyya hume diwar mein chun degi." He said in his normal voice and Kanhaiya laughed before going to get ready.
Meanwhile downstairs,
"Om namah shivaya, Om namah shivaya." Kumti was chanting in front of lord Shiva's idol. She went from there with the pooja ki thaali and came to the living room chanting the mantra. "Ae Kusum." She said and the said person stood up and took the aarti with "Om Sai Ram." Kunti tutted and said," Om Namah Shivay" and Kusum quickly changed the mantra before taking her blanket and going from there.
Kanhaiya came down, took the aarti and touched Kunti's feet taking blessings. Kunti gave him the prasad and just the Pratap came, took the aarti and just bent down a bit, didn't even touch Kunti's feet and said," Lao amma."
"Damad ji, kabhi aap bhi is ghar mein kuch laaya karo." She taunted giving him the prasad. "Ae ismein ka hai. Paise do abhi jalebi laate hain." He said chuckling and Kunti looked at him with irritation. She turned her head and saw Kusum lying on another sofa. "Ye dekho. Vishnu ji ne avtar liya Ram ka aur ye Kumbhakaran ka lekar aayi hai. Ae Kusum." She said and Kusum woke up and went from there saying,"Om Sai Namah shivay."
"Puri raat bhar baith ke saavdhan india dekhegi to yhi hoga. Jitna episode unhone banaya hoga usse jyada to ye dekh li hai." Pratap laughed. "Usse jyada kaise?" Kanhaiya asked in confusion. "Repeat." Pratap answered and Kunti looked at him with anger and Pratap went from there. "Ae maiya ye sab chhod. Ye dekh." Kanhaiya said and Kunti went to him smiling.
"Shaadi ho kar rahegi.com park aur ladki ka request aaya hai." He said showing her the laptop. "Band kar ye mara internet." Kunti said closing the laptop before continuing," aese effect karke photu daalte hain ki umar ka pta hi nhi chalta. Pichli baar jise ladki ki maa samajh ke baat kr rhi thi vo to khud hi ladki nikli. Main bhi sochu ki Ranbir Kapoor, Shahid Kapoor ke jamane mein konsi ladki apna favourite actor Dilip kumar btayegi." Kanhaiya tried to control his laughter.
"Arey arey par maiya. Ek baar to dekh le na maiya." Kanhaiya insisted. "Dekh lo sasu ma, ab to takiye pe bhi ban aai hai." Pratap said entering the scene and Kanhaiya took one step towards him in anger but stopped when Kunti stopped him.
"Tu tension mat le lalla, aaj ek aur ladki vaale aa rhe hain. Shaam ko, 5 bje. Main mandir ja rhi tu bhi dukan se time pe aa jana." Kunti said and Kanhaiya nodded. "Ek aur ladki vaale? Matlab aaj ohir free ki kachori kha kar jayenge ek parivar." Pratap said chuckling while eating namkeen.
"Ae neeche rakho. Ye namkeen kahe kha rhe ho? Aaj vrat ka din hai na." Kunti said stopping Pratap before he could eat the namkeen. "Aaj somvar hai?" He asked. "Nhi nhi, damad ji. Aapke liye to sunday hai. Kaam kaaj karne vaalo ke liye somvar hai." Kunti said sarcastically.
Kunti went to the mandir telling Kusum to wake up for the third time and returned within an hour.
Time skip, (6 PM)
Its been n hour since ladki vaale came and Kunto was taking interview of the ladki. Kusum lifted the girl's face up and Kanhaiya just looked at her. 'O dear God, rani bana ke rakhenge apni dulhaniya ko. Bas aaj maiya ke man ke 6 gun dilva do is ladki mein.' He thought looking up.
"Sundar hai." Pratap commented nd Kusum looked at him. He just shook his head like he said nothing. Kunti tick marked 'sundar' in her diary. "Kahan tak padhi ho?" Kunti asked. "Ji political science mein PhD hu aur ab ek college mein pdhati hu." She answered and Kumti tick marked 'Samjhdaar'. "Itni pdhai isne apne dada-dadi ki seva karte hue ki hai. Apno se bhot prem karti hai. Prem." The pandit said emphasising on 'prem'. Kunti tick marked 'Prem poorn'. Kanhaiya was relieved. '3 down, 3 to go.' He thought and waited for the next gun.
"Beti khana?" Kumti asked. "Meri beti ke haath ka khana khaoge tu uski ungliya kaat loge." Her mother said and then corrected herself realising what she said," I mean, apni ungliya chaat loge." All nodded. "Arey log dahi maangne aate hai aur meri beti ke haath ki bani sabzi donge bhar bhar ke le jaate hain." Father of the girl said. "Arey pure Meerut mein dhai sau donge ghum rhe hain humare." The mother said and Kunti ticked the 5 gun 'Bawarchi'.
"Bhot badia. Beti, puja-path karti ho na?" Kumti asked. "Ji haan." The girl answered and Kanhaiya smiled a big one. Kunti's hand went to tick the next gun but stopped in the middle. "Vrat rakhti ho? Puranmasi ka vrat rakha tha?" She asked and Kanhaiya looked at the girl expectantly. "Puran mosi? Vo to barso phle nikal gyi thi. Kya aap humari Puran mosi ko jaanti hai?" The girl asked and everyone shook their head irritated. "Arey Puran mosi nhi puranmasi. Purnima ka vrat rakha tha?" Kunti asked again clarifying her question. "Aunty ji bas ek yhi cheez na ho nhi pati mujhse. Khaali pet na gas ban jaati hai. Bhagwan to man mein baste hain na to uske liye pet ko takleef kahe de?" The girl asked and Kanhaiya closed his eyes knowing that the girl was rejected now.
"Sahi kaha na aunty ji maine?" The girl asked. Kumti kept her duary aside and stood up. With her, everyone else also stood up. "Mujhe mat btao ki bhagwan kaha baste hain. Aur Pandit ji ap to kh rhe the ki 6 guno vaali smapan ladki hai. Yaha to panchve gun pe hi fail ho gyi. Karva chauth ka vrat rakhna bhul gyi to humare lalla to nikal lenge. Aesi nirguni ladri dikhane laye hain aap hume?" Kunti asked the pandit angrily.
"Bas kariya aap. Kis muh se aap meri ladki mein khot nikal rhi hai? Apne ladke ko dekhiye chacha jaisa to lagta hai ye." He said making everyone's eyes widen. "Oh uncle ji, maiya se unchi avaz mein baat nhi." Kanhaiya said warningly. "Maiya ka bura lag rha hai ya chacha ka bura lag rha hai? Aur itne unche sapne mat dekhiye Kumti devi nhi to dhadam se niche gir jaogi. Laalach bhot buri bala hoti hai. Chalo." The father said before moving out. Everyone except the Panchal family moved out.
"Dekhiye main unhe samjhaunga to vi maan jayenge." Pandit said. "Nhi pandit ji. Mujhe nhi karani apni beti ki shadi is chacha se." The father said. "Dekhiye main umar ka lihaz kar rha hu nhi to Meerut bypass tak duadata hua leke jaata." Kanhaiya threatened. "Kunware Kanhaiya ke naam e to vaise hi famous ho kuch saalo baas tum Bheeshm pitamaha kahlaoge Meerut ke. Tab tum maa bete baith ke taali bajana. Meri beti ko nirgun bolte hain. Chaliye pandit ji" The father said moving out angrily.
The pandit was still trying to stop then but both families were angry with each other. "Kuch mat boliye pandit ji. Aur tum sun lo Kumti devi agar 6 guno vaali gudiya bhi tum bazar mein kharidne jaogi na to bhi nhi milegi. Aur jis bahu ko tum dhund rhi ho na, sakshat Mahadev bhi aa jaye to iss dharti pe na de payenge tumhe." Saying so he sat in the auto and went away. Kunti stood there burning in humiliation.
She went to the temple at night angrily and rang the bell, the pandit looked at her. "Aaj khush to bhot honge tum. Jisne har din tere mandir ki seedhi chadhi, har somvar tera vrat rakha, bavli ho gyi tere aage haath jod-jodkar par phir bhi mere lalla ke haath peele nhi krva saka tu." She said to Shiv ji's idol angrily. Kanhaiya came there. "Maiyya, ae maiyya kabse dund rhe hain tujhe. Aur tu (joins hands in front of Shiv ji) tu chal ghar chal na maiyya." He requested Kunti.
"Na beta. Aaj ye ma tabhi ghar jayegi jab bholenath khud dharti pe aayenge. Aur mujhe meri bahu denge." She said angrily. "Arey Shiv jo koi picture ka intervel hain jo 1:30 ghante mein aa hi jayenge. Bekar ki baat mat kar maiyya, chal ghar chal. Dekh bahar bijli bhi kadak rhi hai. Chal na maiyya ghar chal na." Kanhaiya requested again but Kumti was not even ready to move in a slightest bit.
"Na beta na. Ab ua to bholenath mujhse baat karne aayenge ya meri laash le jane. Jaise na taise aana yo pdega hi. Tu ja ghar ja." Kanhaiya raised his hands not believing her childishness. The pandit slowly slowly went to Kanhaiya and handed the lock of mandir. "Ye lo beta mandir ka tala chaabi. Bhagwan se meeting khatam ho jaye to taala lga ke chabi ghar pahuncha dena." He said before moving out. Kanhaiya was still trying to make Kumti understand but stopped when he saw Shiv ji coming from the stairs.
He told Kunti and they both were looking at him shocked. He came infront of Shiv ji's idol and bowed. "Shambhu." Kanhaiya said not believing. "Arey Kanhaiya." He said and turned to Kunti. "Arey maiya." He said. "Shambhu." Kunti said. "Haan Shambhu pandey. Aap Pratap ke rishtedar ho na. Main Pratap ki natak company mein kaam karta hu. Aaj natak tha to socha darshan karte hue chalu." He said and the mother-son duo was shocked. And he went from there talking on his phone. Kunti looked at Kanhaiya angrily he just laughed sheepishly before shutting up and sitting in a corner. Kunti was still looking at Shiv ji angrily.
Kanhaiya was almost sleeping when the toofan came. He came and again started insisting Kunti when a flash cam and they closed their eyes by the impact. They opened their eyes to see the idol missing. They looked around.
"Kunti devi, lo hum aa gye." A voice came and they saw person dressed just like Shiv ji coming towards them. He had a divine light behind him. "Mujhe ghar le jane ke liye ek aur nakli bhagwan laye ho? Makeup yo usse acha kiya hai. Ye peeche LED lgaya hai ya CFL?" She asked but was shocked when the person disappeared suddenly and came right beside her. Kanhaiya quickly came in front of her. This happened one more time before the person asked," Bolo Kunti devi kyu bulaya hume?"
"Aap sach much ke Bhole hain?" She asked before falling on his feet. "Prabhu aap sach much ke prabhu hain to aap to jaante honge prabhu. 9 saal se jo maang rhi hu." She said. "Putri pratidin croron nivedan aate hain. Bhot lambi suchi hai. Sabka yaad nhi rhta." He said. "Vo prabhu shadi krni hai maiya ko." Kanhaiya said and Shiv ji raised an eyebrow surprised. "Iss umar mein?" He asked surprised. "Meri nhi prabhu lalla ki." Kunti said.
"Par k bahu ke liye itna tap. Ek jeevan saathi to sabhi ke liye bani hai tumhare putra ko bhi avashya prapt hogi." Shiv ji said. "Kab milegi prabhu? Nakli daant chadh jayenge tab? 49 kilo ka tha tab se dhund rhi hu 29 ka ho gya ab tak to na mili." Kunti said and Shiv ji controlled his laugh. "Thik hai. Putra ke liye itna sankalp karke ek bahu maang rhi ho to hum adhik samay waste nhi krenge. To suno. Hum vardaan dete hai ki tumhare putro ko dharampatni-" Shiv ji was interrupted by Kunti's shout of Prabhu.
"Ab ap de rhe hain to bahu mere man ki dena ha. Vo na bhot hi khubsurat hove." She said and Shiv ji looked at Kanhaiya who blushed. Shiv ji raised his hand and had almost completed the vardan when Kumti interrupted again. "Prabhu, prabhu, vo na bhot hi samajhdaar hove." She said and hen Shiv ji was third time giving the vardaan, she again interrupted. Shiv ji looked at her irritated. "Prabhu vo na khana banane mein bhi nipun hove." She said and when Shiv ji went to give this time, she again interrupted.
"Ae maiyya ka ek ek karke pitthoo khel rhi hai. Sab ek saath hi bta de busy admi hai." Kanhaiya said. "Kunti devi apni ichhao par niyantran rakho." Shiv ji warned. "Bas prabhu 3 quality aur hain. Ek to bhot dharmic hove, dusra prem puran hove aur teesra business vaali hove." She said. "Kunti devi lalach buri bala hai. Suna hai na tumne?" He asked her leaning down. "Haan prabhu. Par ye lalach kaha hai?" Kunti said and Shiv ji moved up again shocked. "Main konsa dhan-daulat maang rhi hu? Le-de ke ek bahu mein 6 gun hi to maang rhi hai ye ma." Kunti saif.
"Parantu Kumti devi aesi bahu kisi ko prapt nhi hui hai aaj tak." Shiv ji reasoned. "Haan prabhu to aaj tak kisi ma ne apne lalla ke liye ghor tapasya bhi to nhi ki hai." Kumti said keeping a hand on Kanhaiya's shoulder. "I baat to sach hai prabhu. Ma se sacha man kisi ka nhi. Puri duniya doodh mein paani mila ke chadhati hai par maiyya ne kabhi full-cream doodh se neeche nhi chadhaya." Kanhaiya said proudly.
"Thik hai. Tumhari ichha to main puri kar sakta hu. Parantu ek baar jo maine vardaan de diya to vaapas nhi le sakta." Shiv ji said. "Neki aur puch-puch. Saal bhar ganga nahayenge bas ek baar humari ichha puri kar do." Kumti said joining her hands. "Thik hai balak tumhari aur tumhari mata ki manokamna avashya puri hogi. Kal subah 10 bje se." Shiv ji told Kanhaiya. "10 bje se." Kumti asked. "Haan. Kal subah 10 bje se tumhari iccha puri hona shuru ho jayegi. Tathastu." Shiv ji blessed before disappearing.
****
The first part is updated guys!!
Tell me if you liked it or not.
Please vote and comment.
Milte hain agle part mein tab tak,
Savdhaan rhe satark rhe aur dekhte rhe jo aapka dil kare.