[Earth, Puppies Junior School.]
Mayberry: (Narrating.)I was a good person before it all went down. I was good my entire life.
Inside the school, a lady with blonde hair and green eyes was beginning her class. This woman's name is Mrs. Mayberry.
Mayberry: Good morning! I hope you all did your homework!
Several students smile and dance in their desks. A brown haired boy wearing a dunce cap spins on a stool and faces the corner. The students began to sing.
When the dunce cap kid mentioned Mrs. Mayberry husbands birthday, she freezes in place, she begins to sweat nervously and her eye twitches.
Mayberry: Oh my stars! Stop singing, children! Hush up now!
The kids stopped singing and payed attention to their teacher.
Mayberry: I forgot it's my husband's birthday! I didn't get him anything special.
Girl: Maybe if we call him, we could do a happy birthday surprise!
The scene cuts to a bedroom with the computer ringing with the word 'Wifey' on the screen. An unused condom hits the screen and answers the call. Mrs. Mayberry and her students appear on the screen. Back at the classroom, her face turns red with anger then she stares in shock. The children behind her gave concerned and fearful looks. Mrs. Mayberry gets up and walks away. A girl grabs hold of Mrs. Mayberry's arm, stopping her.
Girl: Wait! Mrs. Mayberry! Remember what you taught us? Think before you act.
Mrs. Mayberry grabs hold of the girl's neck, choking her before yeeting the little bitch through the roof.
She leaves the room and ran over to the window to watch Mrs. Mayberry drive through a white fence with her car. The children head to the computer to watch as Mrs. Mayberry breaks into the bedroom.
Jarold: Okay. Oh shit, sweetie. What are you doing here?
Mayberry: Shut up, Jarold!
A woman's scream, gunshots and a chainsaw was heard.
Mayberry: You scream like a bitch!
Blood splattered onto the computer screen as the children stared in horror.
Jarold: Oh god, what have you done? S-She had a family!
Mayberry: We could've had a family!
Gunshots were fired, splattering more blood onto the screen, making the children look away in disgust. Mrs. Mayberry wipes away the blood from the screen.
Mayberry: Oh dear god, what have I done? In front of you all! I'm so sorry, my children. Don't forget to work on your timetables.
Mrs. Mayberry then kills herself by shooting a bullet through her head, making the children faint on the floor.
[Hell, I.M.P Headquarters]
Mayberry: (Narrating.) You do everything right in life. Play by all the rules and still get sent down here with all the Hitlers and Epsteins of the world.
In the I.M.P Headquarters, Blitzo was sitting at his desk and Y/n was standing next to him, as the shadowy figure of Mrs. Mayberry paces the room.
Mayberry: After one measly massacre propelled by blind rage. So that's why I'm here. To get my revenge.
Mrs. Mayberry turns around, revealing her demon form.
Blitzo: I mean, was she hotter?
Mrs. Mayberry gave an 'Excuse me?' face at what Blitzo just said.
Blitza: I'm just saying, I had a hard time understanding the unprompted melodrama you just spat at me, tits.
Mrs. Mayberry grew angry, making a red aura appear around her.
Y/n: Ma'am, I think it's important to point out that we take revenge out on the living, not the dead.
Blitzo gets up from his office chair and walks around his desk as Mrs. Mayberry glares at him.
Blitzo: Exactly, and it sounds like the core cast of your sitcom of death frankly are all probably down here in hell with you. Boop.
Blitzo boops Mrs. Mayberry on her nose as he finishes his sentence. Mayberry gets more angry and clenches her claws.
Mayberry: Not all of them. That whore survived.
Y/n gives a shocked and confused look on his face from what Mrs. Mayberry just said.
Y/n: Wait! Are you saying that you shredded her with a chainsaw and shot her, and she survived?!
Mayberry: Yep! And now they all call her a hero.
The scene cuts to a hospital room with the woman, who's named Martha, on her bed with bandages wrapped around her body and most of her face. The woman's children and husband are by her bedside, and reporters are in front of her bed asking questions.
Reporter: How does it feel to have survived such a crazy bitch?
Martha: I just hope that sick woman finally found peace.
Reporter: You are so brave. Here's two million dollars!
Martha is then given a giant golden check that says two million dollars on it. (Wait... Is this where all the tax payers money went?)
Martha: Oh, thank you!
Mayberry: (Narrating.) Between the talk shows and the donation bullshit, she made so much goddamn cash. Getting shot was the best thing to happen!
Everyone on Earth called her a hero after what happened to her. (She got rich and she's a hero for this?! Excuse me while I go fuck someones husband and get shot.) Mrs. Mayberry slams her fists on Blitza's down on it.
Mayberry: SHE IS NOT A HERO!
Blitzo: Mm-hmm. Yeah, okay, yeah, my thoughts exactly
Blitzo rapidly presses a red button from underneath his desk. A red light flashes by a label reading 'deranged client.'
Inside the room with the flashing light, Moxxie was aiming with a crossbow in his hands with Millie right beside him. In front of him was a picture of a happy family: a father, a mother holding a baby, a son and a daughter
Millie: Moxxie, stop shaking. You're gonna shoot our only hellhound!
Loona was lying on a gray couch and holds up the family picture in one hand and her phone in the other.
Loona: Wow, I feel so loved here.
Millie: Just take a deep breath, and let it out.
Moxxie: But, it's a family. Under what circumstances would we ever need to kill a human family?
Millie: I mean, if that's what the client wants.
Moxxie: Maybe like a shitty dad. Or a mob family. That's understandable but to eradicate an entire innocent-seemingly in this instance-upper middle class family bloodline?
Loona: Hey! You don't know they're innocent. (Points to the boy.) This kid probably sets dogs on fire. (Points to the girl.) Maybe this girl gets off to bulling Australian kids online. (Points to the father.) And this guy... this guy definitely watches.
Millie: Exactly. Humans are full of secret nasties. It's why so many of them end up here. Guilty and innocent aren't our business, Mox. Killing who we're paid to is our business. Choose a target.
Moxxie: I just think it's a bit excessive and we could be a bit more selective, is all.
As he is aiming his crossbow, Blitzo suddenly barges into the room followed by Mrs. Mayberry and Y/n.
Blitzo: Guys, I want you to meet-
This startles Moxxie, causing him accidentally fire his arrow and it ricochets around the room. Millie jumps into Moxxie's arms as the arrow hits the computer. The arrow then flies and puts a hole in the family picture that a stunned Loona was holding. The arrow hits the bottom of a tank with eels, causing the tank to wobble. The arrow flies toward Mrs. Mayberry, but Y/n catches it with one hand.
Blitzo: Our newest client!
The eel tank falls over, causing the class to shatter and water to spill on the floor. The eels fall out and burst into electricity, setting the room on fire.
Blitzo: Dammit, Moxxie! I just bought those eels!
Y/n: Moxxie! Do you realize how much paperwork I'll have to do and how much it will cost to replace all this stuff?! Satan FUCKING DAMMIT!!!
Outside the building, everyone was standing next to a taxi as Imp firefighters carry the eels away and head into a fire truck. Mrs. Mayberry drives off in a yellow taxi cab as Blitzo waves goodbye.
Blitzo: Bye and don't worry, we'll get that skank in less than twenty-four hours or your first kill is free!
Moxxie: When did we start implementing that deal?
Blitzo: When you set fire to my office in front of a client, you fucking dick shit!
Blitzo then grabs Moxxie's face and pushes him away in anger.
Blitzo: Now someone please tell me that fancy book is still intact!
Loona: You mean our only ticket to the other side? (Pulls out a book from behind her.) Yeah, got it.
Blitzo: And that's why you're my favorite, Loonie. You get treat now! (Pulls out a dog treat.)
Loona: Ew. Stop.
Blitzo throws the treat into the air and catches it with his tongue, then pulls it into his mouth and eats it.
Loona: You're so gross!
Y/n: I've been saying it for years.
Blitza: Aw, stop it. I get enough of that from my therapist.
Millie draws a pentagram with chalk on the wall. It glows red and creates a portal to the human world. Loona rolls her eyes and leaves. Blitzo puts his hand on Moxxie's face, who struggles to walk to Y/n and millie.
Blitza: Now, let's go lick some ass!
Y/n: The expression is kick some ass. Not lick.
Blitzo: Mines better.
The four Imps walked through the portal, arriving in front of a small red house by the lake as the sun sets.
Y/n: Wow, that's a nice view.
Millie and Moxxie agree with him before the four of them hid in the bushes, against the side of the house. Blitzo and Y/n stands up and looks into the window.
Blitzo: That's gotta be her. (Chuckles.) This is too easy. Moxxie, do you want to take this one?
Moxxie: Me?
Y/n: Yeah, this one should be simple enough for you to handle.
Moxxie stands up and looks through the window. His face falls as she looks at the family have dinner.
Blitzo: It's just a happy mother who just got out of the hospital.
Moxxie hesitates as he watches Martha and her husband affectionately rub each other's noses.
Blitzo: You snooze, you lose, Mox!
Blitzo aimed his rifle at Martha, preparing to shoot her.
Blitzo: And I've got you, bitch.
Moxxie: Wait, are we actually killing a family?!
Blitzo: No, don't be a puss. We're just killing a mother. We're ruining a family.
Moxxie: But... hold on hold on. Let's just think about it.
Y/n: Hey Millie, is that a decapitated human head on display in the house?
Millie: Oh my satan. It is!
Moxxie and Blitzo didn't hear Y/n and Millie because Moxxie lifts up Blitzo's rifle as he fires, causing him to miss. The bullet hits a glass mirror inside the house, causing the family to gasp in shock and fear.
Martha: What was that Ralphie?
Ralphie: I don't know, Martha. But whatever it is... (Pulls out a rifle) They're gonna be tomorrow night's dinner!
Martha puts the platter on the table and pulls out another rifle. She drinks her glass of wine before smashing in onto the floor.
Martha: Alright kids! Guns out!
The boy pulls out a small gun from his hat. The girl pulls out a shotgun, and all of them have evil grins with sharp teeth.
Ralphie: Looks like we got some rabbits to catch, young'uns!
Back with the imps.
Blitzo: What the fuck was that, Moxxie?!
Moxxie: I'm sorry. They just seemed so wholesome and happy. I panicked!
Blitzo: Oh, who the fuck is innocent, Moxxie? From the moment of birth, you're already a parasite leeching off your momma's tits. Get the fuck over yourself you baby dick prude!
Blitzo: Aah! A new hole! Scatter!
Y/n, Blitzo and Millie flee and Moxxie hides in the bushes. Ralphie and Martha grin and kept through the large hole to chase after Blitzo and Millie. Moxxie pokes his head out of the bushes and tries to flee, but a Child grabs Moxxie by his tail and knocks him out
Millie flees towards the lake as Ralphie shoots at her. Ralphie missed every shot as Millie jumped into lake. Ralphie walks down to the end of the dock.
Ralphie: Where'd you go little critter? You can't hide long from me!
Millie jump up through the wood planks behind Ralphie with a knife. Ralphie swings a bottle at her as she dodges his attacks and gets behind him. She jumps up to stab him, but he swings and hits her in the face with the glass bottle. As Millie falls to the floor and passes out, Ralphie looks down at her with, what can be described as a rape face.
[With Moxxie]
At the house, Moxxie opens his eyes and finds himself tied to chair. Moxxie's face falls with fear as he looks at the girl and boy. Both their eyes are red and they have evil smiles on their faces.
Moxxie: Oh. Well hello there, little ones. Aren't you cute?
Kids: It's nice to have a new critter to play with.
Moxxie looks up in fear as he sees a bunch of fucked up shit on the walls.
Moxxie: Oh... crumbs
They then heard footsteps from the roof going towards to window. The kids were confused by the sound until they heard a growl coming from the window, but they chose to ignore it, only Moxxie knew what the sounds were from.
Moxxie: Y/n...
[With Blitzo]
Blitzo ran through the woods, trying to avoid getting shot. He slides down a hill and hides behind a tree to catch his breath.
Martha: I know you're hurtin' little devil.
Blitzo covers his mouth to keep quiet. Martha walked through the woods, holding his shotgun.
Martha: I promise that I can make that pain go real quick. Just come let Mama Martha put a bullet in your pretty little skull!
Blitzo sighs in relief before his phone starts ringing. Blitzo pulls out his phone and it flips it through the air. Blitzo eventually grabs hold of it, and answers it holding it to his ear.
Blitzo: Stolas! This is a really bad time.
Meanwhile, Stolas was in his palace relaxing in a bathtub talking to Blitzo on the phone.
Stolas: Oh, when isn't it a bad time, Blitzy?
Blitzo: What is it?
Stolas: I've been meaning to follow up on our last little conversation regarding my grimoire.
Blitzo: What did you just call me?
Stolas: My book, Blitzy. The book I was given to do my job that I've allowed you to use to do yours?
Blitzo heard a shotgun click and ducks before another shot was fired, missing him.
Martha: I can hear ya, darling!
Blitzo: Shit!
Stolas: Anywho, I have been thinking. You know, I have been permitting you to access the mortal realm less than legally for quite some time now, but I do need it back to fulfill my duties. I was thinking, what if we worked out some kind of exchange? Favors for favors?
Blitzo ran through the woods, avoiding bullets as Martha chased him.
Stolas: Doesn't that sound enticing?
Blitzo: Can you stop using your fancy ass rich-people talk, okay? I'm trying to concentrate on not getting fucked in my A!
Stolas: Then let me keep it simple: once a month, on the full moon, you return the book to me, followed by a night of...
Stolas lowers himself into the water with a lustful look on his face.
Stolas: ... Passionate fornication. And, you get to keep it all the rest of the time, hmm? Sound fair, my little imp?
Blitzo: Fine, whatever!
Stolas: Oh, Blitz! I'm so excited! I cannot wait to fill you slimy **** inside of my ****-
Blitzo cringes as Stolas rambles on about his lust for Blitzo. Blitzo drops his phone as he's pinned to the tree by the butt of Martha's gun.
Martha: Gotcha! So, you're a little devil, huh? Come to drag me and my kin to Hell? Well, not today, Satan! Gonna send y'all back to where ya came from!
[Back with Moxxie]
Moxxie struggles to free himself from the rope. He then saw a light coming from window on the other side of the room, and quickly understood that Millie was in danger.
Moxxie: Millie!
Moxxie struggled some more before turning to the kids. The kids slowly approached Moxxie with knives in their hands. They then heard a loud growl coming from the window behind them. The kids turned around to see where the sound came from, but was horrified to see what was there. In the window they saw the shadowy figure of an Imp holding a red knife, who was staring at the kids with evil eyes and a smile that was more evil than the ones the kids had only moments ago. The figure broke through the window, revealing itself to be Y/n. He charges and slashes the girls face with his knife, causing her to scream in pain. He then grabbed her by the neck and lifted her off the ground and was about to stab her to death, but Moxxie stopped him.
Moxxie: Y/n wait!
Y/n was annoyed that Moxxie was trying to deny him from killing the girl, and gave Moxxie an annoyed look.
Y/n: What?
Moxxie: We need to save Blitz and Millie!
Y/n was even more annoyed now, because he knew that Moxxie was right. He looked at the girl in anger and growled at her. He then threw her over next to the boy, who was frozen in fear and pissed his pants. Y/n cut Millie free and they both left through the window.
[With Blitzo and Millie]
Millie and Blitzo were tied to a wood pole. Ralphie laughs as he pours gasoline on the ground under their feet. Martha holds a torch in her hand.
Blitzo: I had that fucking shot. God dammit, Moxxie.
Martha: Satan! we return your filthy creatures back to the pits of Hell! May the root of evil remain honored as we continue thy work!
Martha tosses the torch to the ground, it lands under Blitzo and Millie. The flames rise up and consumes Blitza and Millie, but they're unharmed by the flames.
Blitzo: Yeah, that's not exactly how it works, lady. Sorry, your fire doesn't actually hurt us, but I mean I could fake it if that'll get your dick hard.
Martha: Oh... Shit. Well I'll just shoot you in your smart-ass mouth!
Blitzo: That would be more effective.
Millie: Blitz!
Before Martha could shoot them. two gun shots were fired. Martha's eye flies from its socket and a bullet wound can be seen on her chest where her heart should be. She falls to the ground dead. Moxxie is seen holding her rifle and Y/n holding his revolver.
Millie: Moxxie!
Y/n and Moxxie ran over to the two and untied them. Moxxie and Millie hugged while Blitzo fell. Ralphie flees and runs back to his house.
Blitzo: Oh yeah! Thanks! I'm fine!
Moxxie walks over to Blitzo.
Moxxie: I'm sorry, sir. I compromised our objective and put us in harm's way. It won't happen again. I promise.
Blitzo: (Pulls Moxxie into a hug.) Apology accepted. But if you ever pull a stunt like this again, I will fuck you and make you watch Y/n fuck your wife.
Blitzo let's go as Moxxie looks fearfully.
Blitzo: Alrighty! Job well done! Now let's get off.
Blitzo pulls a horse toy from his chest. He puts it back and pulls out a cellphone.
Moxxie: Eh, yeah give me a moment. I need to get something I left at the house.
Y/n: Yeah and need to go kill the rest of that family.
Hearing what Y/n said, Moxxie gets nervous.
Blitzo: Okay, Fine, but hurry up. Loona! We're ready to come home, dear!
Y/n smiles with malicious intent and runs off towards the house, and Moxxie chases after him to stop him. Moxxie manages to reach him and bring him to a stop.
Moxxie: Y/n! Wait, don't kill them!
Y/n: Why are you defending them, they tried to kill us.
Moxxie: I'm not defending them! I just think... um.
Y/n: You just think what!?
Moxxie: That you should check to make sure the target is actually dead.
Y/n: She is dead. Shot her in the face and heart.
Y/n then had a look on his face as if he just realized something.
Y/n: Then again, she did survive being chainsawed and shot before.
Moxxie: R-right! I mean what if she survived. The family aren't the target so it doesn't matter if they live or die, but if the target survived then we'd be in trouble. Don't worry, I'll deal with the family.
Y/n: *sigh* I know you're just gonna let them live, but I'll let it slide this one time. Only because you're my friend.
Y/n heads back to where Blitzo and Millie are. Moxxie smiles and heads towards the house and passes Blitzo's phone with Stolas still rambling on about his plans for Blitzo.
Moxxie arrives at the house to see the little girl with a bloody bandage of her face, the little boy wearing a new pair of pants, and the father hugging them.
Moxxie: Don't Move!
Ralphie: What are you gonna do little guy? Kill us like how your friend tried to kill my daughter?
Moxxie: I should! You people are monsters! But... You should have a chance at life and a purpose. Look at your children. They have their whole future ahead of them! You are going to face your crimes, justly.
He picks up what she thought was a phone.
Moxxie: I will call your earthly authorities and they will make sure you are dealt with, fairly. I'm handling this, my way.
Moxxie presses a button and the television turns on, which surprises him.
Moxxie: Oh, shit. Uh, do you have a phone to summon 911?
Ralphie: Yeah, it's in the kitchen.
Moxxie: Then, what is this for?
Ralphie: It's a universal remote. Got it for the kids.
Moxxie: Aww...
[With Y/n]
Y/n made it back to where Millie and Blitzo was waiting.
Blitzo: Oh, you back already. Good, come look at this.
Blitzo showed Y/n Martha's body lying on the ground, but what was odd was that she was still alive despite the bullet holes in her chest and head.
Martha: (gurgles in her own blood)
Blitzo: How the fuck is she still alive?!
Y/n: Doesn't matter how.
Y/n proceeds to stomp on Martha's head until it's caved, then proceeds to throw the corpse into the bonfire.
Y/n: That should keep her down for good
Moxxie finally made it back to the group.
Blitzo: There he is. Have a good wank off session, Moxxie?
Moxxie: Escuse me?
Blitzo: I don't care where you cum in the living world. Just Just come to Your job on time, alright? See you at the office!
Blitzo jumps through the portal with Millie following behind, leaving Y/n with Moxxie.
Moxxie: Thanks for sparing that family.
Y/n: Only cause we're friends.
Before the step through the portal, they notice police cars and a helicopter outside the house.
Loudspeaker Voice: We got em' boys!
A missile fires through the roof and the house explodes in an inferno, killing what was left of the family.
This shocks Moxxie and infuriates Y/n.
Y/n: Oh, so I don't get to kill them but the cops get too!
Moxxie: Y-Y/n, I didn't know!
Y/n: Moxxie.
Moxxie: I swear I wouldn't hav-
Y/n: Moxxie!
Moxxie: Y-Yes, what is it Y/n?
Y/n: If you ever stop me from killing someone again, I'll hurt you. GOT IT!
Moxxie: (fearfully) G-got it!
Moxxie looks at him in fear but Blitzo grabs him by the neck and pulls him through the portal. Y/n jumps in after them.
[I.M.P Office]
Mrs. Mayberry, Y/n and the others were celebrating their victory.
Y/n stood next Mrs. Mayberry, eating his cake with a smile on his face. Everyone laughs and cheers except Moxxie.
Millie: We did it! Oh Moxxie!
Blitzo: Well, here's to another mission accomplished! and Moxxie here finally learned not to fuck up.
Millie: And killing people isn't that big of a deal if they try to kill you back!
Mayberry: That's messed up. But I paid for it!
Everyone laughs except for Moxxie.
Blitzo: Yeah, fuck that family!
_______________
The moral of the story is to not have sex with someone's husband, because while it may make you rich and famous, demons sent by the suicidal wife will kill you.