Thank you so much for participating in the awards. The entries all had something truly unique or special about them. However, there can only be one winner and just like a good steak, our judges must trim the fat.
Below, are the first round results for Dark Romance.
Good luck to those continuing and thank you for your efforts to those who didn't make it through.
Judged by HappyCoati
Entries that will not be making it through:
AzraKhanna - Royal Secrets (Shhhh)
Title: 0/5
Cover: 0/5
Blurb: 0/10
Hook: 0/10
Total: 0/30
Notes: Disqualified for not completing payment.
OmaPhinaPhire - THE EMPEROR'S BRIDE: VOLUME ONE
Title: 4.5/5
Cover: 3.5/5
Blurb: 4/10
Hook: 3/10
Total: 15/30
Notes: The title is good, concise, original and fits the book. The cover is pretty, but the bottom of the title is cut off and the author's name is hard to read.
The formatting of the blurb — large spaces and overuse of emojis — make it hard to read. There are some spelling, grammatical and punctuation errors in the blurb, so make sure you edit it (Grammarly can help with that). I do think that it has all the elements needed in the blurb, but they're spread out and organized in a way that makes it hard to understand. I'd recommend rewriting it and concentrating all the important information in two to three paragraphs.
I had to scroll through 11 chapters before reaching Chapter 1. That's the largest amount of introduction chapters I've ever seen, by far. Adding an author's note and a prologue is fine, but it's best to keep it below three chapters. This is exhausting to look at (especially if you take into account all the ads we have to look at before we even get to any actual writing) and will put off most readers before they even reach the hook — it affected my scoring for that particular rubric. The first paragraph, while very well written, is too long, and followed by longer paragraphs. There's nothing the reader's eye gets caught on, just a wall of text. I'd suggest starting with a short, punchy line, and cutting the following paragraphs into smaller ones to improve the reader's experience.
Elisha_Pillayy - THE MAFIA'S TESORO
Title: 3,5/5
Cover: 4,5/5
Blurb: 4/10
Hook: 5/10
Total: 17/30
Notes: You are a talented writer, but overall, the book feels a bit cliché. Don't get me wrong, I love a well-done cliché, but I feel like your book needs more unique features to stand out from your typical Wattpad mafia romance.
The title has already been used by other stories, some with 1 million or more reads. The cover is beautiful and very well-made but it's very similar to many stories in the same genre.
The blurb was really short, and didn't give many clues about the story, aside from the prompt you used for ONC and that it's a mafia romance. I'd recommend you add more details about Viola (How old is she, what does she do for a living, is there anything special about her or is she just that ordinary?), the setting (Where and when is it happening?). Another thing I would like to know is the conflict. What are the two choices? "One is darkness, one is light" is too vague. Perhaps you don't have to give away everything, but a bit more of a hint could make for a better hook and capture the reader's attention.
The beginning of your book suffered the same issues. While it's well written, it's not so different from other books in the dark romance genre. I feel very 50-50 about the opening quote. On the one hand, it's a great pick and very fitting (the link between the gold and the "flip a coin" prompt is pretty clever), on the other it's quite famous and gives me the same feeling of "Have I read this before?"
Writing a Mafia Romance book is a double-edged sword. There's a huge audience for it on Wattpad, but there are also MANY books in this genre. If you want to attract readers, you'll have to stand out. I'd suggest reworking the title and blurb first, and consider beginning the book with a strong, attention-grabbing scene. For example, you could start the first chapter with the two brothers' banter, which was quite funny, or add a "teaser" prologue with a more action-filled, dark and foreboding scene.
Ashes_Knight - THE BUSINESS DEAL
Title: 3.5/5
Cover: 3/5
Blurb: 6/10
Hook: 6/10
Total: 18.5/30
Notes: The title is not super original as it has been used by a few other books, but it's fitting to the story and easy to remember. The cover has a lot going on, when too many things stand out, nothing stands out. I'd recommend cutting down some of the text. Keep the title, the author's name (in a smaller font) and "What happens when you mix business with pleasure", and you'll be golden! The rest is superfluous and takes the reader's attention away from what's important.
I'll dare to add one of my usual Nitpicky Coati remarks — the title isn't perfectly centered between the separation lines. Once you fix those things I feel you'll have a beautiful cover. I love the picture and fonts you chose!
Onto the blurb: while it contains all the information you need in a blurb, I think it could be better. It contains a lot of small grammar issues (For example, it should be "trails off", in the second line, not "trail's off", and there are a few sentences that are missing a verb (A shiver running down my spine..., Ivy Tessaro, born into the mafia world, but hasn't been told...). There are some punctuation issues in the dialogue, too. If it's followed by a tag, such as "I say", it should end with a comma before the closing quote. (As an example, ""So go on." I say." Should be ""So go on," I say.") These are minor details, but they are things readers will notice. Even if you haven't edited the whole book yet, I'd recommend you edit the blurb. It's the first thing readers will see, and if they see mistakes in the blurb, they'll expect even more in the book, and they might put it back on the shelf before they even open it.
There's a few more grammar and punctuation mistakes in the hook and the rest of the first chapter. It's okay to have typos in a book, especially on Wattpad, but make sure you give your first chapter a good round of editing. Readers will care less about the tiny mistakes once they've been hooked into the story, but if they notice too many in the first paragraphs they glance at, they'll most likely put it down — which would be a shame, since your writing seems to be quite creative and original.
Authors who DID qualify for Round 2:
Poppy_Rusert - A TWISTED LOVE - Tempted
Title: 4.75/5
Cover: 3.75/5
Blurb: 5/10
Hook: 5.5/10
Total: 19/30
Notes: Twisted love and temptations — from the title alone, it seems like you're a perfect fit for this category. It's simple (and a little long) but it works well and it's pretty clear from it what to expect inside the book. The cover is fine, but could do with a few tweaks to make it look more professionally made — the text at the top of the cover is a little hard to read. I'm not a huge fan of covers that use too many different fonts either, so I'd suggest picking one cursive font and one simpler one, and sticking to those.
While the blurb is a good description of what kind of story to expect, it doesn't make me particularly eager to open the book. The writing sample is interesting, but the rest is very telegraphic, and a little confusing. It has a few grammatical errors, no full sentences, and is overall quite short. Make sure you add a bit more background about the characters and the conflict the main character will face (which seems to be the consequences of this forbidden love, but that's pretty vague. Could she lose her dream job? Anger her friends or family? Is she putting her life in danger? Will she catch an STD? (just kidding) Adding some details here will showcase what's original about your plot and story.)
The theme you chose for your prologue resonates really well with the title. It's all about twisted love and being tempted by people you better stay away from. It has some BEAUTIFUL pieces of writing ("I wanted to dive into his crimes and his oceanic orbs" is the first good use of "orbs" I've seen on Wattpad) but unfortunately, there are a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes, a lot of switching back and forth between past and present tense, and those distract the reader from the story you try to tell. Get a friend and/or a software like Grammarly to help you edit, and it'll be way better.
Ibirockerchick - Give All To Mafia
Title: 3.75/5
Cover: 4.75/5
Blurb: 5/10
Hook: 6/10
Total: 19.5/30
The title is intense and intriguing, but it seems grammatically incorrect. That might be done on purpose and have an explanation within the book, but if not, I think "Give It All to the Mafia" would be a good fix. The cover is beautiful, I'd just suggest moving the lines at the top and bottom of it away from the edge so they're more noticeable at a first glance.
The first thing that stands out from the blurb, unfortunately, are the grammatical, spelling, and punctuation mistakes. Make sure you edit your blurb well (you can use free softwares like Grammarly, which works great), because those mistakes, no matter how small, can put off potential readers before they even open your book. Aside from that, the blurb is short, but it works well. It presents the intrigue well, and makes me want to read your story. I really liked the last line!
Onto the hook: You start your prologue with a tense scene, which is great. However, I like impactful first lines! Descriptions are important for the reader to understand the setting, but they're not action-packed enough (in my opinion) as a first line. I think that if you switched the first two paragraphs (starting with ""I had to get out of here, and following with the description of his eyes nervously going from the door to the FBI agent), it would be even better. It's a minor fix, so don't worry too much about it. I'm excited to read the rest!
I'd also suggest either putting the aesthetics and the prologue in separate chapters, or putting the aesthetics below the prologue. I know many readers (including me) often skip or skim through the aesthetics, and some might miss the prologue because of this.
jennypate5 - When I'm gone, I'm glad we met
Title: 4.5/5
Cover: 3.5/5
Blurb: 5/10
Hook: 9/10
Total: 22/30
Notes: I love the title, which is original and intriguing, and had my mind brewing for a while over what it could tell me about the book. I took a few points off for the capitalization (I'm nitpicky, I know). The general rule is to capitalize the first word, and all nouns, pronouns, verbs, adjectives, and adverbs, so the title should be "When I'm Gone, I'm Glad We Met".
The cover is pretty, but I feel there might be *too* much going on. The title has 3 or 4 different fonts, the author name has another, the phrase at the top of the cover yet another, and then there's the stickers on top which, while they do fit the color scheme, take up a lot of space in the cover. Perhaps if you cleaned it up a bit by removing/harmonizing some of these elements, it would look more enticing,
The blurb is very short, and while it does give me an idea of what to expect in the book, there aren't many elements that make it stand out from other stories in the genre yet. When writing a trope as popular as good girl/bad boy, you'll get a LOT of readers who have read dozens, if not hundreds of similar books. It's good to show them this one will give them something they haven't read or seen before, to spike up their curiosity and get them to pick up the book.
The hook was one of your strongest points. I love all the quotes you chose, and the long paragraph you wrote next is beautifully written. I would want to say you should choose between one of the two quotes, but they both serve a purpose and helped me get the "vibe" of the book so it would be a shame to take one away. My advice would be to consider adding one to your blurb instead, or adding a horizontal line or something more aesthetic to separate them. The hook was a lovely piece of writing, which was painfully relatable yet a joy to read."
mafia_lover97 - A Flower Between the Thorns
Title: 5/5
Cover: 4/5
Blurb: 7.5/10
Hook: 7.5/10
Total: 24/30
Notes: THIS IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL TITLE. Super original, very memorable, poetic, and on top of all that, it gives me a good hint of what kind of conflict I'm about to find in the story. I like the picture you chose for the cover, it goes great with the title, but I'd suggest fixing the title placement (bring "A Flower" closer to "Between the Thorns") so it's easier to read, and perhaps make the cover a bit brighter and/or colorful so it stands out more among other books.
The blurb has all the information it needs, but I'd suggest some editing and some tweaks to make it more enticing. There are a few grammar and punctuation mistakes, and I think that adding some prose and more poetic sentences (showcase your best writing skills!!) could really draw in readers to open your book and discover your story.
The hook starts with a bang! (ha ha ha) I really like that. It's a great introduction to Filip and Fleur's backgrounds and characters, and puts the reader right in the mood for some action and a dark, dark story. Again, beware of grammar and punctuation mistakes, which can distract and discourage some readers from going further. I think downloading Grammarly or ProWritingAid should allow you to find all those little mistakes and easily fix them, so you'll have a really solid hook.
Spiceseeker - Tracy Trouble
Title: 5/5
Cover: 3/5
Blurb: 9.5/10
Hook: 7/10
Total: 24.5/30
Notes: I just want to say (very unprofessionally, I know) that the picture you chose for the cover is absolutely terrifying. I'm absolutely 100% sure that Tracy is a soul-sucking demon. She's like the Mona Lisa, her eyes follow me wherever I go (yes, I spent two minutes shuffling in a half-circle around my laptop to check). I'd take points off for the trauma, but it seems fitting to the story, so I didn't. I think the cover could be improved a little more by playing around with the fonts to make it look more professional.
The title is perfect. Original, easy to remember, rolls off the tongue, and it gives a good hint of what to expect inside the book. Same for the blurb - it's very short, but it has everything you need to know before you open the book.
As for the hook, I am again greeted with the bone-chilling image of the Terrifying Tracy Trouble. I'm not going to lie, Spiceseeker, her face makes me want to run far, so far away from my screen. She's pretty, but the eyes... *shudder*. I like that you started with a song — it's a great use of the features that Wattpad offers, it's original, and immediately sets the atmosphere. Now why oh why did you have to use "Mmm" as the first word in your book. If I ever open a book and see that it starts with the word "Mmm" I will SLAM. IT. SHUT. You're clearly a talented writer but Tracy really scares me.
The writing that follows is beautiful, and showcases Tracy as a fascinating character (if you forget the blood-curdling picture) I'm intrigued by the rest of the book — I hope you have a sense of humor and relish in the fact that Tracy's Traumatizing eyes made me lose my sleep last night.
TheAlixDavenport - Russian Roulette: Family secrets [2021 version]
Title: 4.75/5
Cover: 5/5
Blurb: 9.25/10
Hook: 6/10
Total: 25/30
Notes: The cover immediately got full marks. It's perfect — a great fit for the story, visually pleasing (insert googly eyes emoji), and it looks professionally made. It's something I'd expect to see on a published book. The title is not extremely original in the sense that a quick search brought up a few results of books titled "Russian Roulette", but the subtitle part (and the fact your book was probably published before most of them) balances that out. The title does its job, it's intriguing and sets the tone, and so far it seems like it fits the content perfectly.
The blurb is almost flawless. It presents everything we need to know, the characters, the setting, the conflicts, and leaves just enough mystery for me to immediately want to dive into your story. The grammar is perfect, except for one spot: "In the underground, he is known as The Dragon. Leader of one of the largest factions of the Russian mafia with claims all over Europe. Ruthless, cold, and rules his territories with an iron fist." it reads a little "telegraphic". It's not distracting (I only noticed on my third re-read of the blurb) but if I had to recommend something, it would be to make these full sentences. I'm also not a huge fan of so many questions in a blurb, but that's just my preference.
Now for the hook. ALIX. You had raised my expectations really high with the rest, and I think that played into my feelings about it, but I found it a little disappointing. I like books that start with a punch (see Eat the Poor by clownceo) and that directly go onto my list of "books that I could sell to my friends just by telling them the opening line" and "The club was upscale." didn't cut it. But fear not, dear author, your writing skills redeemed it later in the chapter, and I'm still very excited to read more. I'd suggest adding a quote or something similar to set the tone and perk up the reader's attention before you walk us through the (dare I say exquisite) descriptions. Your writing is beautiful, but the rubric has me judging the hook, and this one could do with a little more sharpening. Aside from that, amazing job, and I'm looking forward to reading more in the next round!
donnaf1828 - BELL RINGER
Title: 4.75/5
Cover: 3.75/5
Blurb: 8.5/10
Hook: 8.5/10
Total: 25.5/30
Notes: Bell Ringer is an interesting and original title (and I love the explanation you added in the Declaration — it has wayyy more layers than I thought!! I went back to my scoring sheet and added 0,25 points just for that.) From the title and the hazy, daunting look of the cover, I definitely see the ""ark" part of the genre, but (and I've been told this before about my own book, so no worries) I don't really see the "romance". If there's a romance element to your book (especially on Wattpad, where virtually 99% of readers are looking for some romance) you should put it at the forefront of your book, in the cover and/or title which are the first things readers will see, so they know immediately that this is the book they are looking for, and decide to click on it.
The blurb sets the plot and conflict really well, but it introduces four characters: Fin, Cody, Cory and Beau. It can be confusing at first glance to understand who is who and the connections between them, so developing those just a tad bit more (two or three sentences should be enough) could help the reader understand those better. The few descriptions and atmospheric elements you left around the blurb left me wanting more — if you fluff those up a little, I think it would serve your blurb.
The prologue starts slowly, but quickly develops into a chilling, unnerving scene. It's masterfully written, I could see it happening in my head as if I was watching a movie, and the tension building is *chef's kiss*. However, since the average Wattpad reader has the attention span of a concussed goldfish, I'd suggest hinting at the action at the very beginning of the scene, perhaps by mentioning the smell first and then moving on to the calmer description of the letterbox and cute little Fin.
sarahkatepotter - Falling Into Insanity
Title: 4/5
Cover: 4/5
Blurb: 10/10
Hook: 9/10
Total: 27/30
Notes: The title is beautiful and memorable, but it's been used by a few other books on Wattpad, including one with a lot of reads, so I had to take a point off for that. I like the picture you've chosen for the cover (I actually have it pinned on Pinterest, would you know!) but the title and especially the author's name are a little hard to read. Consider adding effects like an outline or a glow to make them stand out more from the background.
This is going to sound dramatic but your blurb made me audibly gasp. It. Is. PERFECT!!! It's a short story to its own, where tension builds with every line. It's short but oh so effective, showcases a very original story and makes me very excited to read it! Massive congratulations there. I have nothing to say but praise.
The hook is just as amazing as the rest. We dive right into the thrill and action, and the plot is set up both quickly and clearly. Perhaps the first sentence could be rephrased to earn its place in the god-tier on my list of "Books I could sell to my friends just by telling them the opening line", but it's already really good, so massive congratulations again.
clownceo - Eat the Poor
Title: 4.5/5
Cover: 4.75/5
Blurb: 8.75/10
Hook: 10/10
Total: 28/30
Notes: Title, cover and blurb give me the same feel: dark, simple, but SO intriguing! Well done. The title's been used by one other book that I could find, but I like it because it feels like a sarcastic twist on the more common phrase "Eat the Rich". The picture you used for the cover is beautiful, my only recommendation would be to fix text placement a little, bring the author name a little higher and make it bigger so it's more visible, and increase the size and reduce the line spacing of the title. I'm not a pro cover designer (as you may tell from the slightly eye-test-like aesthetic of my own cover) so take it with a grain of salt. Really, it would just scratch an itch in my brain, but it's beautiful as it is.
The blurb is short, but it works. It's given me most if not all the info I need about the book, and I love, love, LOVE the quote you used as an intro. My suggestion would be to add a few more descriptive elements, give us a better image of the setting — from grimy pavements to glimmering chandeliers, or something like that, but nothing too grandiose. Less is more, and you've already nailed that.
Now the HOOK!!!! The first three lines gave me a feeling in my chest I can't describe. I gave you full marks directly for that, and yet still went back to read more because WOW. What an intro. Straight into the action, ominous, intriguing, and also quite funny. I ABSOLUTELY loved it. I could rave on about it for a while but I'm already way past the 2-3 lines required for the first round review. The writing that followed in the first chapter was flawless, and I was immediately transported to 17th century London by your dialogues and descriptions. Very immersive, and I can't wait to read more for the next rounds.
Overall, it seems like a good fit for the genre so far, and the historical elements make it stand out from the other books I've read in this category. You caught my attention in three lines, and that is not an easy feat! Congratulations.
LVann26 - The Love I Found
Title: 4.75/5
Cover: 4.75/5
Blurb: 10/10
Hook: 9.5/10
Total: 29/30
Notes: One thing I used to judge the title was its originality. A bunch of results come up when searching for "The Love I Found" (mostly abandoned books), but it doesn't sound cliché at all. At first glance, I thought this would be a story about finding love, but after reading the blurb, I'm leaning more towards a story of a girl who found love when she most needed it, and is now afraid she'll lose it all — AND I LOVE IT. It's mysterious yet comforting at the same time, like it's both warm and cold — I get that same feeling from the cover, too. It's beautiful to look at, and the colors, fonts and pictures you chose create a whole atmosphere that's already sucking me into the story before I even open it.
I know you had mentioned you weren't sure it was a genre fit, but from the blurb, I'd say there's no issue there at all. I gave you full points for the blurb, because it's perfect. Not only is it beaaaautifully written, it also made me feel that in a few lines, I already knew the characters. You present the intrigue so clearly and concisely, I know exactly what to expect from this book and I CANNOT WAIT to read more!
Your hook dug its claws into me and it did NOT let go. I mentioned in other reviews for the books you're up against that I like books that start with a punch, and I didn't expect things to get this literal hehehe. It dragged me in immediately and I could not stop scrolling, and what a treat it is to read your writing! The hook is perfect (but I took away half a point because there was an even more perfect-er hook in the category that was all that, plus very original, and I guess I'm just that kind of judge) and gives me AGAIN that same feeling of hot and cold. Hot from the sultry, passionate relationship between Cal and Emilia, cold like a drop of toxic poison and the looming darkness that surrounds the couple. Kudos for consistency, and I'm excited to read more!
Once again, congratulations to all who made it to the second round!
Good luck as you progress!