The next few days go by in a blink of an eye, as I tried my hardest to preserve every moment. There seemed to not be enough time in the day to take in every second Noah and I spend together. I want to appreciate it slowly, so I can keep it all in my back pocket for when he's gone and I am once again left with nothing. I feel selfish in my sadness, knowing he's fulfilling his life's purpose in a way I will never understand. The pride I have in him is almost unbearable, he is the most deserving person I think I have ever met. But like the selfish human I am, I can not help but feel undeniable loathing for the day that is slowly approaching. In 24 hours from now he will be gone, and I don't know what exactly I'll do with myself when the inevitable happens.
He planned to begin our date around noon. And I have been ready since 9am. He had to leave in the early hours of the morning, needing to get everything together before tour kicked off. I attempted to fall back asleep when he made his departure. but my eagerness got the best of me and I started getting ready entirely too early.
He has the day mapped out for us, and I couldn't be more nervous about it. He didn't detail me on on his plan, just told me to dress casual. With that in mind I carefully selected something I feel not only comfortable in, but also beautiful. I don't want to overdress, but something about a mid length dress spoke to me. The cotton material hugging my petite frame perfectly, flaring out at my waist and giving me the appearance of an hour glass figure. Thin straps keep the black and white polka dotted fabric secure and in place. It's elegant but also sexy as my left leg is showcased by the slit that runs from mid thigh down. My tresses are a wavy mess but rather than attempting to tame the beast I just threw it up in a clip, allowing some loose crinkly pieces of hair to cascade around my face. I didn't feel the need to cake on makeup, but I did bother to apply some mascara. Just for the romance my long lashes added. I feel confident in my appearance, despite having a heavy ball of nerves cultivating directly in the pit of my stomach. I don't think I have been on a date in years. At least not since my first, and only, year of college. I never thought I'd be going on a first date again, and let alone with Noah. I'm eager to see what he has planned for us, but also dreading it. I know time will fly by all too quickly and then the clock will strike 6am tomorrow morning and he will be gone. I know I'm being cynical, and only breaking my own heart. But I can't push the thought away. He has been my comfort, my safe haven, and I'm petrified of what's to come when I'm left unguarded.
I try my best to forget the thought, shaking my head in disapproval at my pessimistic thinking. I want to recall today only fondly, and I'm putting myself in the wrong head space to do so. I slip my feet into an old pair of white vans. I'm not aware of how much, or if any, walking Noah had planned for us but I do not want to risk getting sore feet. Giving myself one more look in my mirror, smiling at how well I was able to put myself together. For once I feel beautiful, as I radiate with genuine happiness for the first time in what feels like, well, ever. Regardless of the undeniable nerves or the dread I'm choking back.
I exit my room and head down the steps, reaching the bottom quickly. As soon as my feet fit the first level of the house I hear the key turning in the front door locks. Noah stepping in and our eyes meeting instantly. He appears to already have himself put together for our day. He is clad in tight black skinny jeans, a white t shirt that fits his torso loosely , and a lightweight leather jacket to top it off. His tattoo littered hand grasping a a bright red bunch of roses. He smiles widely as he takes in my appearance, stepping in fully before shutting the door behind him. He makes his approach eagerly, extending the handful of flowers to me.
"For my pretty girl" he says smoothly.
I take the bouquet from his extended hand, giving them a quick sniff before meeting his gaze again. I rise to my toe. Gaining enough heigh to plant a soft kiss on his lips before dropping back down.
"Thank you so much. I love them" I admit bashfully.
My cheeks heat up at his gesture, my face aching from the smile that painfully pulls at my lips. I walk them into the kitchen, finding a vase and filling it to them to sit in. The smile doesn't leave my lips the entire time I'm doing so. It don't think I have ever gotten flowers, not from Jasper or boyfriends past. It was a very meaningful gesture, and it only confirmed what I already know to be true. Noah is the one my heart has been searching for all along.
Once I'm done we walk to his car, like the gentleman Noah is he opens my door for me before retreating to his side to slide in. He leaves me in the dark about the whereabouts of our date, but keeps me busy by singing along to whatever he plays on the radio. I watch him intently as he rests his hand on my thigh, soothing me by lightly rubbing circles on the flesh every so often. As I sit back and absorb my surroundings I find myself at a lose for words. I can't believe this is my life. After the years of pain and suffering I can laugh again. I can smile. I feel the warmth returning to my chest and melting away the block of ice that formed from the years of being pushed to the side and discarded like I was nothing. Who would have thought that all I needed all along was right beside me. In all my years I have never had anyone make me feel as if I was worthy of compassion and kindness. Like I wasn't just another burden to bare. The person whose arms I always ran to, morphed into the person I was slowly falling in love with.
We reach our destination after a while, pulling up to a large parking lot filled with cars. I'm confused for a moment, my face morphing to portray that.
"Well, I remember just how much you love animals. And this zoo has so many different ones, I figured why not explore a little bit before we go to our next surprise"
I did not think it was possible to smile larger, but I'm proven wrong when I feel my cheeks push up and cause my sight to squint half shut. I let out a squeal of excitement as I quickly throw my seatbelt off and wrap my arms around him. I've always had a deep love for any and all animals, we used to take at least one summer trip to the zoo when we were young. It was always the highlight of my year. The fact that he remembered and cared enough to recreate the memories meant more to me than I could ever put into sufficient words. No one, friends or lovers alike, has ever cared this much. Have ever put an ounce of this much effort into making me smile.
"Thank you so much, Noah. This is gonna be the best day ever" I can't hold back my excitement as I place both of hands on either side of his face. Pushing the flesh together slightly to pucker his lips and planting a deep kiss on the plump surface.
I catch him by surprise. He takes a moment to regain himself before grabbing me by the hips. His grip tightens, giving me a form squeeze before somehow picking up and guiding me to his lap. He deepens our kiss by sneaking his tongue into my mouth, running it over the roof and taking my bottom lip between in teeth all in one swift move. My core begins to throb, as I feel the moisture build up once again. As much as I'd love to take him in right here, right now I know I can't. So I pull away before our inhibitions get the best of us. Our breathing is sloppy, both coming out choppy and needy as we rests our foreheads together.
"Don't get ahead of yourself, baby. Save it for later" Noah says cockily as he gives me a sweet smile. There's an abundance of lust hidden behind his charming grin and starry eyes, a game he knows all too well.
I plant one more firm kiss on his lips before reaching over to his door handle and opening it. I step out carefully, adjusting my dress that had rose up my legs in our intimate moment. I hear him step out behind me. The gravel of the parking lot crunching beneath his heavy steps as he comes up to meet my steps and take my hand into his. We walk together to the entrance. Noah paying the fee before we step into the wildlife sanctuary.
We spend hours walking around the large zoo, seeing a vast variety of different animals along the way. There's every creature from giraffes to penguins and each and every one of them provokes a stomach clenching happiness from me. It's been years since I've been to a place like this, and just as I suspected it hasn't lost its luster. By the time 2 o'clock rolls around the both of us are beat and unbearably hungry. We make our way back to Noah's car, hand and hand like usual. He drives us to our next destination , still blissfully ignorant about where we are going but being too overcame with jubilance to care. I'd go anywhere with him.
"Which animal was your favorite today?" Noah inquires after we have been driving for roughly 20 minutes.
"Without a doubt, the gorillas. They were so cute! And did you see the way the one was digging his little butt!" I feel myself getting excited as I recall what happened not even an hour ago. It's hard to put into words how awestruck I was the entire time we were there. Like I was in a completely different world than the one I had become accustomed to over the years. It felt as if I was almost too happy, so much so my body couldn't handle it.
"Oh yeah! The one that was sitting up on the big rock like a fucking king" Noah matches my energy by being just as excited. His voice is high as he starts to laugh at the memory.
"Yes! Rufous is what I think they named him" each animal had a name and I tried to take the time to remember each one.
We do nothing but talk for the next hour, recalling the fun we just had and even reminiscing on old times as we spoke. Before I knew it we were reaching our destination. He pulls into a small white building nestled on a lonesome shore. The white siding decorated with age, mossy greenery growing up and around it reaching the faded red shutters. I can't help but raise my eyebrows in question. Not sure where exactly we are but also trusting Noah to pick a proper place for us to eat. I hear him chuckle innocently at my disarray before quickly existing the car and coming over to my side and opening my door for me. I give him a small thank you before he shuts the door and takes my hand into his. We make our approach, hearing the sand crunch beneath us as we do so. Upon entering I'm met with the savory smell of greasy cheeseburgers and salty fries. The aroma provoking my stomach to rumble loudly.
"As long as my memory isn't deceiving me. I remembered that you are a lover of smash burgers and cheese fries" Noah speaks as he gives my hand a firm squeeze.
My heart swells. The blood pumping in my ears faster as I watch him proudly display a wide smile. I had become so serious, so mundane and run of the mill over the years I forgot who I truly was at my core. The kind of girl who grew up not being fed with a silver spoon, but rather ate instant ramen for dinner every night. I was never the person Jasper made me into. I didn't care about expensive dresses or luxury bags, but just wanted to feel like I belonged. Like I was loved and wanted for who I truly am. It may seem small to some, but the fact that he not only encouraged me to be true to myself, but condoned it meant more to me than anything else.
We order our food, both of us getting the biggest cheeseburger they offered in hopes to squash the hunger that built from our busy day. We don't wait long for it, given we were the only customers occupying the business at the moment. Once our food is done we take it to the small sitting area outside.
The waves of the shore crashing violently against the sand, seagulls bantering loudly from somewhere in the distance. I'm still not used to living here, it feels as if I'm on some extended vacation. The salty water assaulting my senses, the sun still shining violently in the sky. It's a serene place. Almost too beautiful to home a seemingly run down burger shack.
To say the food is good would be a disservice. The beautiful flavors marinating in my mouth so well I can't stop myself from scarfing it down in what seems like a matter of seconds. I don't even give myself a chance to speak, just continuously piling the food into my eager throat.
"This is so fucking good" I comment once I take the last bite of my burger, picking at the handful of fries that are left behind on my plate.
"I'm glad you liked it. Jolly and I found this place one drunk night and I've been wanting to come back. It just hasn't felt right, until now" he says as he shoves the last bit of his food into his mouth.
"This has been one of the best days I have ever had. I know that sounds cheesy, but I really mean it, Noah. Thank you" I admit, feeling my body get warm at the confession.
He gives me a soft smile, bringing his hand up and onto the old picnic table to interlock our digits.
"I wanted to make today special for you. I hate that I have to leave tomorrow, regardless of what it's for. I wanted to give you one last good day"
His words hit me like a ton of bricks, causing an eruption of tears to spring to my eyes. I tried to avoid the elephant in the room all day, giving my best attempts at keeping the thoughts back. But as soon as he reminds me I feel the heaviness return.
"I appreciate it. I'm going to miss you so much"
"I know, baby but it will be over before you know it and then we will be back to making beautiful memories together" he tries to sooth my mind, and as much as I appreciate his efforts it doesn't stop my anxiety from taking over. Saying I'm going to miss him is an understatement, it feels as if a piece of me is being ripped away. I don't quite understand it myself, living a completely separate part of his life for so long should have prepared me for this moment. But that was before. That was before he managed to captivate me in every way possible and put me under his intoxicating spell. Before I had gotten used to his goodnight kisses and warm good mornings. Before he was the only thing that made me feel safe and sound.
"I'll be able to call you whenever, right?" I question as I bite back the sadness.
"Of course, pretty girl. As long as I am not on stage I will always make time for you" he reassures me warmly.
"Good. I won't be overbearing, but I can't promise that I won't need you. Even if it's over the small things" I admit
"Nothing is ever small, baby. If you need me. You need me" he gives me a reassuring smile when he speaks. Making sure to come off gentle as his bring my hand up to plant a soft kiss on the top of it.
My heart swells at his gesture, the same tingle erupting between my legs. I've never in my life been so attracted to someone. Not only does he manage to awaken my sexual desires, but his naturally soft nature does nothing but poke the bear. Maybe it's the fact that I was neglected for so long. But his unhesitant and attentive demeanor is quite arousing to me.
We sit a little longer. Basking in the sun and listening to the ocean that sings within the distance. Absorbing every ounce of peace we have left. I try to take everything in slowly. From the way the sea breeze whips around Noah's shoulder lengths locks to how his smile never once leaves. I sulk in every detail. Knowing that in no time I will blink and it will all be gone. After an hour we decide to head back home.
It doesn't take long he before Noah is pulling back into his driveway. Both of us stepping out of the car and making our way to the door. Once we enter we both head towards the kitchen. Needing a drink to calm the nerves that have built within us. It goes without saying that we both have a sudden sadness about his departure. I feel guilty for causing this tension. He should be celebrating his achievements, not dreading its approach. He pours me a tall glass of whiskey, in which I take and glug down a few gracious swings from. I needed something to calm the storm that was raging within me. Knowing that the hours previous have passed by in a flash, so it was only a matter of time before the next few also slip away. He informs me that he will not be drinking anything right now, he has to leave shortly to tend to "business" as he put it. He didn't detail me on the matter, which left me with a bad taste. I trust him fully, but I had gotten so used to being in the dark in my previous relationship that I can't help but feel suspicious.
"Which city are you the most excited about going to?" I ask nervously. Needing a break from the seemingly unbearable silence that wavered over us.
"Florida. We are doing a show in Orlando but I have never been before and I'm so excited to see if the stereotypes live up to the hype" he says after he ponders over the question.
"If you get the chance to go to Disneyworld you better take an ungodly amount of pictures" I comment, provoking him to laugh loudly.
"I will not be taking my first trip to the magic kingdom without you, princess"
His comment causes me to smile widely. Even without trying he somehow manages to deliver his flirtatious remarks smoothly.
We sit and chat for a while, until we ultimately decide to exist to patio out back. At this point it's dusk, the sun has slowly made its way down the sky to kiss daylight goodbye. Noah decides to take this as an opportunity to light up a cigarette. I watch him intently as he smokes it away. Taking in the way his mouth parts to take in the smoke and let it fall from his mouth. He's effortlessly beautiful and I can't stop myself from being completely captivated by him.
"When do you have to leave?" I question after a moment. The nagging in my brain won't stop, and I needed to bring up the topic to get some kind of relief.
"In about 30 minutes, but I shouldn't be gone longer than an hour" he says
I want to pry more, but can't find it in me to subject him to the third degree. He's given me no reason to ever question his motives, and I shouldn't start now. There's just an evil seed of doubt that's been planted in my head for so long that it's now just rooted in me. I don't know if Jasper had ever been unfaithful to me, but I had my suspicions. His evenings at work got later, weekends were spent apart. Whenever I would question him he would get angry and lash out. But he did that with most things so I couldn't use that as a sign of guilt.
"Hey, baby. You okay?" Noah calls, bringing me out from my thoughts. I must of zoned out.
"Yeah. Just thinking" I try to reassure, giving him a forced smile.
He can sense my unease almost as if he's reading my mind. He puts out his cigarette before giving me his full attention. The air thickening around us with the severity he's suddenly gained.
"It's just some affairs I meant to get in order a while ago. Nothing crazy I promise. It won't take long and then I'll be back to you" I'm not sure how he was able to pick up on what was eating at me, but he did. His reassurance is all I need, a genuine smile taking over.
He sit and talk for another half hour, before he ultimately has to leave to tend to his matters.
I find myself wondering off upstairs. Sudden impulse taking over and causing me to want to surprise Noah when he gets home. I pick through my clothes, trying to find something sultry for him. It's a hard task considering I don't really own anything sexy. Nonetheless, I'm still able to pick out something fitting. I throw on the black and red thong and bra set I find, adding a snug fit pair of fishnets to the look. I spend the greater part of the next hour putting on a full face of makeup. giving myself a dark smoky eye that makes my blue eyes stand out boldly. Topping the look off with a deep red lipstick. I allow my hair to remain it's in natural lions mane, roughing up the roots to make it look more wild. By the time I'm done I'm nearly unrecognizable.
I make my way into his room, laying across the neatly made bed on my back as I await his arrival. My nerves begin to build, hoping he likes what he sees. This is the most impulsive and vulnerable thing I have ever done for any man, so my jitters are to be expected. The minutes pass by painfully slow, as it feels like hours bleed away before I finally hear the front door unlock. My heart races as I hear him begin to ascend the steps.
"Roni" he calls out desperately
"I'm in your room" I almost scream as the anticipation builds.
I hear him make his approach, giving the door a little shove to open it. His eyes widening as he takes me in. A devilish look overlapping his features as his eyes narrow and darken with lust.
—-
I hope you guys enjoyed! I love the little bit of happiness they have been able to find <3
-XXJ