I step up to a house and ring the bell. Nano smiles at me while waiting for me in the car. Isabella Rodríguez answers the door. Isabella is 5'7" (Feet) brown hair color, blue eye color. Isabella smiles "Hi. What can I do for you?"
I stare at her for a moment then I take a deep breath "I'm Rosa... Rosaline Nunier Osuna" I hear two kids inside the house calling out to her.
A boy's voice "Mom, I can't find my shoes!"
Isabella says "They're in the kitchen, and they smell!"
A girl's voice "Who ate all the cereal?"
"Honey, there's more in the pantry. Y..." Dog barking "Well, apparently, my kids forgot that they were old enough to feed and clothe themselves today."
"You have kids."
"Um, listen, if you're... if you're selling magazines or... or religion, we're good on both, so... But thank you so much." she going to close the door.
I put my leg to stop the door "No, no. C..Centre Medic Sant Jordi de."
Isabella nods and points on a way "Oh, right, okay. Well, if you just go here, and you take Willowbrook..."
I shake my head "No, no, I-I was..."
Isabella continues "and then you're gonna... "
"I was born at Centre Medic Sant Jordi de, and soon after, I was left at the fire station on 23rd Street." Isabella stares at me "I think that you're the person who left me. I think you're my mother. my name is Iphigenia"
Isabella steps outside and closes the door behind her quietly "Look, I don't know what you're after, but you can't be here."
"I'm not after anything. I just want to talk."
"You cannot be here."
"There's a diner... a few miles up. Weird green roof? Ira's? One conversation. And you will never hear from me again."
I head to my car and sit in the passenger seat.
Nano asks "What happened?"
"She is rude like me, drive to the diner, she must meet me there"
Nano nods and starts to drive.
♡♡♡》Second chance《♡♡♡
I and Nano sit at the table, We wait at the diner, but Isabella hasn't come. Nano says "She won't show up"
I sigh "I want to punch her in the face"
"Let's go"
When we get up to go. Just as we do, Isabella arrives "The coffee here sucks."
Nano looks at our mugs "I've noticed."
I say "This is My boyfriend Fernando"
"I will sit at the other table to give you privacy" Nano walks to another table and sits alone.
Isabella sits "I'm late for work. Um... I work in the government office. Try to create jobs for underserved communities. I'm sorry. You knocked on my door. I don't..."
I sit "You have a house... a really beautiful house."
"Thank you...?"
"And kids and a dog and crown frickin' moldings."
"Do you need money? If this is about money..."
"I don't need your fucking money. Thank you."
"Look, I'm not quite sure what you expected..."
I take out a cigarette and start smoking "In my head, you graduate high school, but a year or two late 'cause they don't let pregnant girls finish high school. And you scraped by somehow on... hard work and the kindness of strangers, but you had no one. You had nothing."
Isabella sighs "That would make it okay that I left you? I wanted you to have a better life than I could give you..."
"Now, that part I heard in my head. I think it came from a made-for-TV movie. No, I-I-I realized it the minute it came out of my mouth, yes, um... But it's true. I really thought that you'd be better off... What are their names?"
"I'm sorry?"
"Your kids. My brother and sister eating cereal in your perfect kitchen. What are their names?"
"Martina is a senior in high school, and, uh, Roberto is in 10th."
"You have a husband" she nods "what, a... accountant?"
"Lawyer."
"Is he my father?"
"No. No, he is nothing like... no. No, I met my husband in grad school. Um... His name is Emilio."
"Emilio" I smoke another one "That's nice. That's really nice. You know, I-I... I appreciate a girl with fire in her belly, but... I haven't a better life. Maybe in front everyone the famous Rosaline had a happy lucky life but I had crap all my life, And when a man finally told me that he loved me, I believed him, even when he beat the crap out of me so bad I couldn't see. So whatever life you had, tell me it wasn't better than mine."
Nano stares at me.
Isabella stands "I should go. At least you're consistent." I breathe deeply "Did you honestly come here to punish me? Consider it done."
I grab her arm to sit "I came because I don't know anything about where I'm from, and I want to know."
Isabella sighs "Um... My, um... father's side is pure Spanish. My... My... My mother is Cuban. My mother's parents... died when she was young... heart disease and cancer. So I'm afraid that's in the mix. Uh, there's no history of mental illness that I'm aware..."
"That's not what I'm asking."
Isabella glares at me "Then what do you want to know?"
"Something I can't get from spitting in a tube!"
Isabella nods "Ah. I, um... I grew up near Subaida farm in the Balearic Islands. My childhood is a blur of cows and singing songs out in the field when I should've been helping my mother. I was spelling bee champion for four years in a row. I love the smell of rosemary. I'm terrible at math. Does that help? Does that help you at all? Do you know who you are now?"
"Forget it. Just tell me who my father is, and I will try and find him."
"You can't."
"Fuck, I want to know"
"You don't want to"
"I don't know, soften it a little?"
"Well, I'm sorry, but that son of a bitch who hurt me more than any other human being ever has... you don't want to know him"
"I think not your business since you threw me away, I want to know my father"
"I wish he eaten by fire ants or pulled apart limb from limb, but..."
"Wow. You're just a monster, huh?" I stand.
Isabella holds my hand "Please sit down."
"Abandoning me wasn't enough, you just have to spread the pain around a little bit?"
"Sit down."
"That's my father that you're talking about."
Isabella shakes her head "No, it's not. He hurt me... He hurt me." she quietly "Please sit down"
Nano stands and pats my arms "Rosa, sit down, okay? Please sit down."
I sit and take a deep breath and Nano sits back at the other table.
Isabella asks "How long have you been addicted?"
I ask "What?"
"Your hand and facial expressions and your high anger issues"
"Not your business"
Isabella nods "He was my neighbor... when I was a freshman in undergrad. He chased after me for weeks for a date. He, um, sent me flowers and proclamations until, finally, I said yes." Exhales sharply "I said... I said yes to that date. I said... yes to going... to, we drink together and he gives me drugs" she looks at Nano "He was that charming bad boy any girl will fall in love with" I nod listening carefully. Isabella sighs "Lorenzo gives me drugs... and I became addicted" she Inhales deeply "Then we hooked up more than once. So... nine months later, Addicted ungraduated had a baby. I had you, and then... five days later, I didn't."
"you never told anyone, Your parents"
"I convinced the few people who noticed that it was just the freshman 15, and I was able to dodge Christmas break by lying about... finals and work studies."
"You didn't tell anyone you were pregnant?"
"No, no. I mean, it... it wasn't until I give you away, I asked to go to rehab. I eventually found my way to therapy, and I did all the work, meetings, etc and I am twenty-four sober as somehow because I knew him, what he took from me didn't matter. But it did matter. I found a way to hear that. I found a way to believe that. And I... I found a way to move forward."
"You got therapy."
Isabella nods "Yeah."
"You moved forward. Mm-hmm. And you didn't once try and find me? "
"I was petrified. I was petrified every single moment of my pregnancy. I mean, he was good to me but he was an addiction to me. And every day, every kick, every movement, it just reminded me your father is a drug dealer who ruin my life. But, you know, movies and books and... and magazines, they just kept talking about this... love that you feel the minute your baby is born. How instantaneous it is and how, um, your heart just cracks wide open, and..."
Isabella sniffles "And I remember, I kept telling myself that as soon as I had you in my arms that I could do that and that I would do that. Other women did it, so why couldn't I? So I gave the hospital a fake name Iphigenia. I left with you... the day you were born. I remember they wanted me to stay, and they wanted me to rest, but I just wanted to get out. I just wanted to get out of there, and I just wanted..."
Isabella voice breaking "I just wanted to be alone with you, and I just wanted it to be the two of us, and..."
Isabella breathes deeply "...and I wanted to stare at you and hold you... 'til that love came. But it never did. No, it did. It did. Everything they said was absolutely right. My heart cracked wide open."
Isabella cries "It was never just us, no matter how hard I tried, no matter what I did. I was just a reminder of him. I resented you so much for it."
I say "I spent most of my life... doubting everyone I ever met, leaving them before they could leave me. I am a grown woman" I sigh "With a job that I love and family I love and a boyfriend, and still... still... I was walking around, uh, waiting, wondering if you would ever find me." I sniffle "If you would ever say that you're sorry."
"I did the best I could."
"The best you could would've been to find an adoption agency, not toss me away like garbage."
"It is so easy to look at me now and think of all the ways that I could've been kinder, better, or smarter, but... I was not the person I am today. I was not in my right mind. I wasn't in my mind at all. I had your mind the addicted mind, the high mind"
"I won't lie, I loved Lorenzo but he stole two years from me, and for another nine months... for nine months, I pretended I was fine. I pretended that I wasn't a zombie, that I wasn't numb or dead inside. And then, the day that you were born, I held you, and I looked at your face, and I..." she breathes deeply "...I could feel again for the first time, but..." she breathes sharply "...my mind... that took years to come back. In fact, I'm... Part of it never did. You deserved better." Isabella breathes sharply "I didn't have better to give you."
I say "Nano, could you please come"
Nano sits with us "Yeah"
I sigh "I was sixteen when my ex-boyfriend shared a sex tape about us, he filmed me without I knew, we fight a lot and we thought I maybe be pregnant after that he cracked my ribs and threw me across the living room floor. because if I'm he took care of it" Nano holds my hand "my family knew and they was with him, because we dotheir need to make the family name in dirt"
I cry "I knew that, if I tried to do anything, my family would kill me for their business not to stop because the two families work together. But I also knew that I couldn't raise a kid in that... fear, and in that danger."
Nano starry at me "You had an abortion."
I wipe my tears "Mom dragged me to the doctor and we found out I'm not it's just stress. But cause of biting to death I was hurt, I was hurt so much that my uterus bled. If I had not been treated, I would have died."
Isabella says "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
Nano squeezes my hand.
I ask "Do I look like him?"
"You have my eyes... but the hair is my father. I did the best I could, and I'm still... I'm sorry. I'm still just doing the best I can. See you make me remember these days." Isabella stands and heads to the door and back "Lorenzo Del Campo" she opens her bag and takes a piece of paper and writes an address "He is in Italy" she leaves.
Nano whistles "He is the ex and she knew where he leaves"
I ignore him staring at the paper.