Chapter 37: Party, Pt 4
"I'm not getting into this with you, Mac."
"Tell me, Ed: do you ever get tired of playing the good guy all the time?" Mac asked the sentence with genuine curiosity, but I could detect the cynicism in his tone.
"Let me past."
"Because I get it, you know. You've got your brand, and you've done a wonderful job of winning everyone over tonight with a no-doubt carefully executed strategy of nice guy meets normal guy. But when a woman who isn't your girlfriend offers to suck your dick, you shouldn't politely decline. You should tell her to fuck off."
I debated stepping in to diffuse their stand-off; it didn't seem right to eavesdrop. But if they had an issue with each other, they needed to hash it out. Better to do it here, tucked away from the rest of the party, than risk letting it bubble over in front of an audience.
"You want me to start telling fans to fuck off? Not exactly in line with that nice guy brand, is it?" A sharp bite cut through Ed's steady voice.
"Right. Is that why you said yes to Veronica? Because you're a nice guy protecting his brand? That backfired, didn't it?"
"I don't want to talk about Veronica. That's done now. She got her money. She's happy. It's done."
"Yes, I'm sure she's absolutely thrilled that you were kind enough to let her blow you, only to drop the nice guy act as soon as she got off her knees."
My heart leapt, then raced at double speed, as if wanting to run away from this private conversation. Hearing the accusation was a direct insight into how the settlement had played out. If Ed's team had spent nearly a decade cultivating his squeaky-clean reputation, any savvy lawyer would know exactly how to exploit that.
Ed huffed out a derisive scoff. "It wasn't like that, and you know it. If she told you it was, she lied."
"I'll never know for sure, will I? Because I wasn't there. It was just you, the most famous guy on the planet, alone with a starry-eyed twenty-one-year-old. No cameras. No phones. Total privacy... Total control..."
"I don't like what you're suggesting."
"Meh. You liked it enough to part with a large sum of cash."
"Do you know how many offers I get every day?" Ed lowered his voice, but it still held enough ice to send shivers rippling up my arms. "This is exactly why I have to be polite with them. Because if I upset one person—intentional or not—I face a lawsuit."
"I can only imagine how many offers you get every day. I'm sure it's a real inconvenience. But this isn't just about you anymore. It's about Sophia—"
"I do not need relationship advice from you, Mac."
"No? Well, here's some legal advice instead: hurt her, and I will fucking destroy you. Understood?"
My sprinting heartrate skidded to an abrupt halt. I snatched at the handle and yanked open the door to see the two of them standing chest-to-chest, bodies rigid with tension, fists clenched by their sides.
"Enough," I said.
They broke apart and spun to face me, eyes widening. Ed's lips parted, then clamped shut, as red tinged the tips of his ears.
"Palmer." Mac casually slid his hands into his pockets, but his voice carried a tremble that betrayed his guilt. "You eavesdropping?"
"Obviously." I folded my arms and leaned a hip against the doorframe. "Sorry to interrupt such a poignant conversation."
"It's fine," Mac said, his gaze drifting back over to Ed. "I've made my point."
Ed's eyes narrowed but his mouth remained shut. After shooting me a wink to lighten the tense mood, Mac slipped into the bathroom and shut the door.
As soon as we were alone, Ed rushed over, but he paused just short of reaching out to touch me, as if unsure whether it was a good idea or not. His hands curled into fists again, though this time not through anger.
Sighing, I wound an arm around his back and rested my head against his chest. It inflated beneath my cheek as he drew in a deep breath and enveloped me in an embrace.
"God, I'm so sorry, Soph."
"He was instigating as usual. I don't blame you for rising to it."
"I, uh..." He cleared his throat. "I actually meant Holly. I'm sorry if you overheard what she said."
I closed my eyes and inhaled his spicy cologne. A rush of serenity rolled through me at the familiar scent. Nothing had changed: I'd just witnessed something first-hand that I'd previously only ever imagined in my head.
"You okay?" he asked.
"No," I said truthfully. "But I will be."
He tightened his arms around me, one curling around my lower back as he pulled me closer into the firm warmth of his body. His other palm floated up my spine and eased beneath my hair to cradle the nape of my neck. I'd followed him down here looking for physical relief, but now all I wanted was his comfort. His kindness. His compassion.
Soft lips grazed my ear. "I hope it goes without saying, but I would never ever say yes to those offers. Ever."
"I know."
"Would you rather I'm more direct with them...?"
He'd never admit it, but the prospect of that terrified him. I heard the nerves—the uncertainty—in his tone, and I felt the way one bicep tensed with anxious suspense. With my other ear flat against his chest, even his pounding heart couldn't hide from me.
I leaned to look up at him. His troubled gaze stared back at me.
"No," I said quietly. "I get it. And I trust you. I'd never ask you to change for me, and I wouldn't want you to."
"Because I would." His hands came up to cup my face, thumbs smoothing over my cheekbones. "I'd do anything for you. Anything to make you more comfortable with this relationship."
Exhaustion must have crept up on me because tears burned my eyes at the sincerity behind his offer, and my heart swelled with an emotion that I strove to ignore.
Swallowing down the lump in my windpipe, I hid my face in his shirt again and hugged him harder.
"You don't need to do anything," I said. "You're worth it."
*
Holly left first. Maybe she saw no point in sticking around when she couldn't get what she wanted, or maybe the rejection had driven her out of the door. Whatever the reason, knowing I wouldn't see her face again consoled me.
Mac hung around, though, staying to help tidy as the party died down. I joined him in washing-up duty despite Gabby's protests that they could sort it tomorrow. We chatted about mundane shit as he cleaned and I dried, but a tense cloud loomed over us that we couldn't ignore.
"I'd apologise for threatening him, but I wouldn't mean it." Mac lowered his voice as he passed me a tumbler.
I spun the tea towel around the inside of the glass, then set it down on the worktop next to the others.
"I don't think it's particularly wise for a lawyer to make threats," I said.
"It's not, but you're my friend, Palmer, and I've seen a different side to him than most people see. He has an insane amount of power but hides it very well. That worries me."
I bit my tongue to stop myself from lashing out. He did have a lot of power, but that wasn't what had landed him in this legal mess. She offered. He didn't ask.
A few seconds passed, and my initial knee-jerk reaction mellowed.
"I know his fame brings with it a certain amount of power," I said. "He'd never intentionally use that power to influence someone, though. He's not like that."
"You know that for sure?"
"I know that for sure," I said firmly.
"I've just seen it a lot, you know. In my job. Influential men can take advantage of girls who feel like they can't say no—"
"That's not him. If you really care about our friendship, you'll believe me on that."
"And the song? The one where he tears apart his ex. You gonna tell me that's not about you? Because I've read those lyrics, and they sound scarily familiar. Like maybe I've heard the story before, from the other point of view."
Of course he'd analysed the lyrics. How very lawyer-like of him.
"Didn't realise you were such a fan of his music," I said dryly.
"I don't have to be. That song is fucking everywhere. It didn't take me long to connect the dots once I realised the two of you knew each other."
He passed me the next glass, and I directed my energy towards drying every speck of water. Once satisfied, I slid it gently to the side and waited for the next one. Apparently Mac was applying the same technique as me, because he continued scrubbing the pint glass for far longer than necessary.
"I appreciate you looking out for me," I said when he eventually rinsed off the bubbles and placed it into my outstretched hand, "but nothing has changed. You knew I was involved with a celebrity. You didn't know his name, but you knew everything about my relationship with him. You watched me lash out in frustration because I couldn't have what I wanted—"
He snorted. "Yes, I fell victim to that frustration strategy. Thanks a lot."
His eyes twinkled as he glanced across at me, and I knew he was trying to stop this evolving into a full-blown argument by injecting humour.
"My point," I said, "is that I slept with multiple strangers. He accepted one advance off one girl. And not that it's any of your business, but he'd never done that before. And thanks to the mess it created, he'll never do it again."
"I should hope not now he's with you."
I slammed down the tea towel and twisted to face him. "I'm being serious, Logan."
"So am I, Sophia." Eyes flashing with anger this time, he dropped the sponge and met me head-on, soapy bubbles flying between us. "You're my friend, and I care about you. I don't want you falling in love with some guy who's going to—"
"I've been in love with him for months, so it's a bit late for that."
The shrill smash of glass-on-tile accompanied my outburst. I whirled round to follow the noise and found five pairs of eyes staring at us. Only one set mattered, though: a bright blue beam of shock firing across the kitchen towards me.
*
It was a good job the party had already wrapped up, because nobody could salvage the mood after that. Mac and I hung our heads in shame as we helped Gabby clean up Becca's smashed glass, both of us apologising profusely for arguing during her birthday celebration.
Apparently our audience had only walked into the kitchen right at the last moment, so at least the damage was confined to poor party etiquette rather than anything that would affect Ed's reputation. Still, my confession was beyond embarrassing, and I couldn't even bear to dwell on what Ed would think of it.
When Gabby left to put away the dustpan and brush, Mac grabbed my wrist to stop me following her. He pulled me into a hug, wrapping his arms around me and burying his face into my hair.
"I'm sorry, Palmer. I'm tired and drunk."
"Me, too. Tired, that is. I wish I was drunk."
HIs chuckle vibrated against my head, and I reluctantly wound my arms around his waist to accept the olive branch. After a few seconds, we broke apart.
Mac leaned back against the sink, a devious smirk on his lips. "So, shall we talk about you declaring your love for your new boyfriend in front of your ex-boyfriend?"
Heat crept up my neck. "Let's not."
"It's funny, though."
"For you maybe."
"True. It is very funny for me. Who knew you were the type to publicly express your feelings? You really have changed."
I bit my lip and glanced towards the living room. Ed would be sitting in there, friendly and happy on the outside, while on the inside he mulled over what he'd heard, trying to decide what it meant and if he felt the same way. Of course he wouldn't feel the same way. Unlike me, he didn't shy away from talking about feelings. If he loved me, he'd be ballsy enough to say it, knowing that even if I didn't say it back, he'd still manage to extract amusement from watching me blanch in response.
"Joking, Palmer. Jesus, please tell me I can still make jokes, at least?"
"It's not that." I sighed and scraped a hand through my hair. "I hadn't told him. About, you know, the love thing."
The humour drained from Mac's face. "Shit. Really?"
"Really."
He snorted. "Well, now you don't need to worry about picking the perfect moment to say those three magical words. Cat's out of the bag."
I reached for the tea towel to launch it at his head. "Fuck off."
*
We got home at 3am and caught the lift up to Ed's room in comfortable silence. During the journey back, he'd held my hand without letting go, his thumb brushing over my knuckles in affectionate sweeps. Either he wanted to pretend everything was normal, or he wanted to reassure me he still cared even if he didn't share the same strength of feelings.
It was bad enough that I'd said it at all, just weeks into our relationship. But I'd done more than that: I'd admitted I'd felt this way for months. It was mortifying. The only thing worse than knowing he'd overheard was not knowing how he felt about it. Pretending it had never happened would be both offensive and cowardly on my part.
As I kicked off my shoes, Ed stood in front of the floor-to-ceiling window, head bowed towards his phone. The city's lights sparkled beyond him, a truly romantic backdrop that did nothing to settle my nerves.
I sidled up to him from behind and wrapped my arms around his hard stomach, leaning my head against his back. He instantly locked his phone, tossed it onto the bed, and twisted to face me. His hands, warm and gentle, ran down my sides until they settled on my hips.
"You okay?" he murmured.
"Yeah. Tired." I tilted my head back to look up at him as my fingers trickled down his spine. "Thank you for tonight."
Surprise flitted across his face. "Why are you thanking me?"
I shrugged. "It was a big step. I know you weren't comfortable, but you did it anyway and... Honestly I've never felt luckier."
"I meant it when I said I'd do anything for you. Besides, that was nothing compared to what you have to put up with for me."
A smile tugged at my lips. "It's not a competition. You could have come with me tonight and just gone through the motions, but you didn't. You showed them a side of you that you normally hide away, and I appreciated that."
"It was fun. I enjoyed it."
Closing my eyes for courage, I rested my head against the solid planes of his chest and counted to five.
"I know you heard what I said to Mac."
"Mmhm."
I hadn't thought it possible to respect him any more than I did already, but when he didn't bother trying to deny it, a warm yet nervous ball of fondness tightened in my stomach.
"We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," he added.
Extending his arms around my back, he drew me closer into his body and laid his cheek against the top of my head. Cocooned in his hold—surrounded by his cologne, his muscles, his steady heartbeat—the fear of rejection began to slip away, making room for honesty and transparency.
"We've only been together a few weeks," I said into the fabric of his shirt. "I don't want to scare you off, that's all."
"Soph, what we share goes back way further than a few weeks."
Words stuck to my drying throat. I could only cling onto him tighter and mumble an acknowledgement of that.
"You're never going to scare me off." His husky voice caressed the shell of my ear. "I promise. I heard what I heard, but as far as I'm concerned... It doesn't count until you say it to me. And you don't have to say anything until you're ready."
The response gripped my heart with an overwhelming tenderness, squeezing until everything I'd felt over the last few months became amplified beyond recognition. I wanted to yell that I loved him. That nobody had ever stirred my emotions like him. That nobody had ever consumed my head like he did.
But I wanted it to mean something when I said it. I didn't want to say it when exhausted, especially not when it would seem like I was merely repeating or confirming an overheard confession that hadn't been intended for his ears.
When I did say it for real, it would be to him and only him—a private moment that couldn't be diluted by anything else.
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Thank you for reading :)xx
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And we finally reach the end of the party chapters! Once again, thank you so much for all the positive feedback. I think the last chapter got the most comments out of any chapter in the book so far!
What did you think of this one? Were you shocked by Soph's confession or had you guessed she felt that way?