(Sorry if the chapters are a little boring rn. I promise things start going back to normal after this chapter)
Derek was startled awake by the sounds of a car driving up the gravel track that lead to his land. He couldn't physically move, frozen and exhausted as he lay in his sleeping bag, the fire long burnt out. He shivered as he heard a car door slam, peeking one of his eyes open.
He saw Meredith marching over to him with a big box. "Where have you been? I've been searching and searching for you!" She said as she threw the box on the ground. Derek groaned. "I came here. What time is it?" He whispered. "5am." She said as she tipped out the box.
She walked out to the plot of land, before she started placing some things on the ground. "What are you doing?" Derek sighed as he sat up and climbed out his sleeping bag. She ignored him as she continued what she was doing. Derek walked over to see exactly what it was. He frowned as she began lighting what appeared to be candles. "Meredith, what's this?" He asked.
She looked up to him. "This, this is our kitchen, and over there, that's our living room." She said as she lit more candles. "And this over here, that's the room where our kids can play!" She shouted as she lit the last candle and looked at him exasperated. "You had this whole thing about building us a house but you bailed on us!" Meredith shouted. Derek watched her, not quite sure of the point she was making.
"And now I'm stood here like a lame ass loser." She complained. "Meredith-" he sighed as he watched her. "No! I said I wasn't running! You can't get rid of me that quickly!" She shouted. "You said it yourself, we make a hell of a team and we're not throwing that away because of an accident!" She shouted. "Meredith." He said again as he walked towards her. Everything she was saying was what he needed to hear. He just needed to hear her say that she wasn't leaving, that D.C and the dream house was still something she wanted, whether he could ever be a surgeon or not.
"And I'm sorry! I've been forcing you for weeks and I havent been listening to you at all. So I'm sorry. And I'm sorry about your hand because that must me really shitty and I want to help you as much as I can and I didn't mean what I said about you and the baby bu-" she rambled before he grabbed her face suddenly and kissed her hard.
She wrapped her arms around his neck as he tipped her back slightly. She moaned against his lips, revelling in the feeling she thought she lost weeks ago. "I love you" she whispered against his lips as they eventually pulled away. He looked at her for a moment, trying to process the last few weeks and bring what she was saying into perspective. She was going to love him, whether he was a surgeon or not.
They stood apart as Derek looked around at the house of candles. "This is the living room?" He said quietly as he walked around the plot, trying to motivate himself out of the darkness and to fix this. "It's a little small" he frowned. "Where's our bedroom?" He called back to her. She watched him as he was deep in thought before he walked back over to her.
He gently grabbed her hand as he rested his forehead against hers. "I'm trying, but I'm not trying enough" he sighed. "I'm so sorry" he whispered as he closed his eyes, the weight of regret lifting off his shoulders. "I don't want to fight. I don't want to do it anymore" Meredith began to cry. Derek watched her as tears streamed down her face. He shook his head. "I don't want to fight anymore either. I'm sorry" he said. "I'm sorry too" Meredith sobbed before she grabbed his face and kissed him hard.
It reminded them a lot like their first kiss; the urgency, the emotions, even the rain against their skin felt the same.
He pulled away breathlessly before she took his hand gently in hers. "You're freezing" she frowned. He just shrugged as she lead them back to where the fire was burning out. "Dr Wyatt was right?" Meredith said as she quickly picked up the bottle of pills off the ground. Derek sighed as he sat down and took the bottle back off her. "They're my anti-depressants. I brought them out here to get rid of them" he said as he re-lit the fire. "Oh. Why?" Meredith asked quietly as she watched him. "I think they're making things worse. I don't feel like I'm even existing at the moment. Every day just blurs into one" he explained.
"You haven't been sleeping great. Every time I come home from work you're always awake a stupid times" Meredith said sadly. "I just- sleeping is the last thing on my mind" he shook his head. "I get it." Meredith said quietly. Derek looked at her for a moment. "Of course you do. You-" he sighed as he shook his head. "You've been holding everyone up" he said. "You amaze me" he continued before he kissed the side of her head. "I think we need a fresh start" Derek sighed sadly. Meredith looked at him for a moment before shaking her head. "No. We just need to keep fighting this together. Starting a fresh won't change what happened. We're over half way now, w- were in a stronger position than ever, we have D.C lined up. We just need to focus on that." She said before she squeezed his hand.
"I want to marry you" Derek said suddenly. "Wha-" she whispered. "Not now, but one day I want to marry you. For the sake of honesty, I might as well tell you because it's been on my mind since the accident." He shrugged casually. Meredith watched him carefully. "I-i- want to marry you too" she smiled before laughing a little. He smiled at her before kissing her cheeks. "I want to try. I want to make this better. I want to be back in the hospital." Derek said. Meredith nodded understandingly. "Well we can take it easy to begin with" Meredith suggested. He nodded and smiled at her before poking the fire. "I'd love that" he whispered before kissing her lips gently.
"The baby-" Meredith started but they both tensed. "Izzie said it was from stress, not from impact" Meredith said as she squeezed his hand. "I know it's hard, but we have to start accepting that it wasn't anyones fault. It wasn't yours, Der" she whispered. "Did you want kids?" Derek asked quietly. Meredith looked at him for a moment. "I'd love to have children with you, Der" she said before she kissed him, this time a little more passionately. They fell back against the grass as their tongues roamed each other's mouths in a fervent kiss. "Mmm- Meri-" Derek sighed as he gently pulled away. "I-I-I- don't t-think I'm ready" he whispered breathlessly before he sat up.
"Is it because of your hand?" Meredith said as she slowly took his bad hand in hers. He tugged his sleeve down a little to hide his disfigured wrist. "I-i-" he stuttered. She moved her hand away and stroked his cheekbone instead. "I have a scar as well. You have nothing to be insecure about." She whispered. He frowned a little. She hadn't needed surgery after the accident.
Suddenly she pulled of her sweatshirt as she kneeled in front of him. Across her body was a red slash. "Owen said the burn from the seatbelt might scar" Meredith said quietly as he looked at it. He brought his hand to her body as his thumb traced the scar before he sat on his knees. He kissed her lips before leading to her jaw and down her neck. It felt good to have him against her body once more. His lips navigated across her collarbone and between her breasts. "Der-" she gasped, the tension killing her. Suddenly he stopped. "I-I-I can't-" he gasped before he sat back.
Meredith laughed a little. "It's okay" she smiled as she pulled her sweatshirt back on and grabbed his hands again. "I love you" he smiled weakly at her. "I love you too" she said quietly.
"So, the Harper Avery's is tonight..." she changed the subject. He nodded. "Are you coming?" She asked. Derek paused for a moment as he looked at his hand. "I-" he stuttered. "If you don't feel comfortable, we don't have to go" she smiled as him as she grabbed his hand again. "I'll go, but if we win- I- I don't think I can go up on stage" he said. She nodded understandingly. The insecurity around his wrist was obviously still raw and she didn't want to push it. "Okay, if we win then you don't have to come up. That's okay" She smiled. He kissed her again. "Thank you"
An icy shiver ran through her body. "Come on, let's go home" she smiled as she stood up and pulled him up with her. "Home" he whispered as she ran ahead to collect the candles.
They took one last look at the sunrise. "I'm going to build us our dream home, Meri" Derek said. She stopped and looked at him, smiling. That was his first step in moving forward: build on his promise for the future.
"Come on, let's go home"