Hey y'all!!
Here's an update
𝑁𝑜𝑡 𝑠𝑜 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑏𝑒𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠
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•A few months later•
-Carolyn's pov-
I don't think that younger me would quite agree with this new side of me.
......
"Okay, I know you said that if I get anymore warnings you won't be able to help me but hear me out." I somehow manage to say in one breath.
"Look, I can't help you."
"Please just hear me out." I say
"Carolyn?"
"I need your help, one last time. Dale, please." I'm basically on the verge of begging, at this point I could do anything possible or I might lose everything.
"Okay." She says, finally agreeing to help me. "But you need to talk to the student council this time." or not. I frown at the thought of me sitting in a room with a bunch of kids my age or maybe older that think they can solve problems while they clearly know that they cause eighty percent of those problems, persay the lousy dances they organize that make people feel more lonelier then they already are or the dress code that takes complete freedom of wearing what we feel comfortable in.
"Why though?" I huffed "Can't you do it?"
In the past few months that I have been here, Dale has helped me a lot. From helping me change programs, to helping me set up "The Purple's book talks" an online book blog. Although she just started of as what I thought was a meddling teacher, she's now the closest thing I have to a friend. But I don't think she knows that all to well. Which is good, that way no attachments.
"You just need to be present at school the whole day to a avoid getting any more warnings. I will handle the rest. Okay?" She gives me a look, a 'I trust you, don't mess this up' kinda look.
"Okay, I'll try."
"I will see you later then. And oh, before I forget you need to call your dad."
"Why?" I blurt out bluntly.
She shrugs her shoulders in a I don't know fashion before walking away.
Making my way to my first class for the day, I think about how I always somehow end up getting myself into such situations.
......
I sit in my chair patiently (not really) as I listen to Mrs Hogan's long speech about the school's history. I feel myself doze off for about the fifth time this morning, I guess pulling an all-nighter to finish that book wasn't really the best idea (The ending wasn't really worth it).
"Concentrate." I say in a very low whisper, cracking my neck in the process.
"This island that the school is built on is known today as one of the biggest tourist attractions mainly because of it's "Bridge Moment Nowhere" and it's history. The bridge was built to help get refugees from countries of war onto the island. At the time, it was known as a place of peace and hope. Years later, the island is still known as a place of hope that's why our school is built here, to bring together the biggest hope of all. Our youth....". I don't get to hear the rest due to the fact that I almost fell of my chair after closing my eyes for a second. But luckily, I manage to catch myself.
Giving up on the idea of staying awake, I take my bag, my school jersey and make my way to the door, rushing past a few students making their way into the hall.
As I walk into the corridor I see that it's empty, meaning no one will disturb my sleep (good).
I walk around looking for an open class until I finally find one. The door is slightly open so I knock to sure that no one's inside. Once I confirm that it's empty, I enter the classroom.
I sit myself down in one of the sits in the corner of the class, totally ready for a two hour nap.
"Wait, I could just go to my room then have a five hour nap there instead. Well this was a waste." Agh. I pick up my things and head for the door.
I stumble back and fall on the floor after the door flew open, hitting me straight in the face, probably breaking my nose in the process.
"Oh shit! Are you okay?"
I don't respond instead I just look at him waiting for him to figure out the very obvious answer to he's stupid question.
"Are you okay?" He lowered his self onto his knees so he could be at the same level as me. Inspecting my nose with his cold fingers and a gaze that seemed to be full of curiosity, he looks me straight in the eyes, making me angry.
I stare back at him with the same intensity before giving a "an almost" sarcastic remark. "I'm fine. My nose isn't that delicate plus if it is, I can just replace it." Then I look away, standing up and straightening my skirt.
Yeah, sarcasm isn't really my thing.
He just looks at me as if he was trying to recall something before his eyes widened with realization. "Aren't you the one from the video?"
"What video?" I say, picking up my stuff from the floor that I dropped when I fell earlier. "Nevermind. Don't tell me, I have places to be."
I look at him one last time before I make my way out the door, my nose throbbing. He didn't even apologize, Arse!
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•Later that day•
If I create a distance between us then at least when one of us goes, it won't be that hard to let go and move on.
........
"I said I'm fine."
So I never got any sleep because one, I went ice hunting in the school kitchen and two, as soon as i got to my room, I received a call from my dad.
"But you still need to go for your appointments, it was the condition for you getting a job holiday at that book store."
"But dad, you can't force me to talk to Sandy anymore, I already started writing that blog like she said." I say, a little annoyed at the fact that from the time I picked up, he's just been talking about Sandy (aka the therapist) the whole time.
"Cass...." He goes silent after realizing what he was about to say.
A memory of my mom calling Cassie flashes through my mind, making my mood worse. "I have to get going now."
"Joy, I'm..." The pain in his voice evident.
"I don't want to talk to you right now, can I call you back later?" I say, cutting him off.
"Why do you keep trying to avoid me?" He asks, sounding very furious. I hear a loud thump meaning he probably hit something like he does everytime he gets angry. "You don't answer my calls and when you do, you are either rude or you act distant."
"You created this distance between us. The distance we have had since my childhood. Since mom's deaths and when blaze left ." I say, using every ounce of me to try and stay calm.
"No. You are creating the distance and pushing everyone away. You have changed so much during the past few months. Your cousin told me that this would happen that's why I sent you there, to help distract you but now you are disrespecting teachers, sneaking out of the hostel at night and you are bullying your roommates. Joy, you weren't raised like this." And then his he falls silent, seemingly fed up with my behaviour.
I take a moment to think about my response carefully, knowing full well that it will determine how and when this conversation ends.
"I'm sorry." I make slight pause before sadly saying. "But this is who I am now."
I look out my window and see that a storm is coming and storms here get pretty ugly. My dad, sounding quiet defeated says a quick goodbye and hangs up.
"I'm sorry. I promise that once I create a distance between us, you will never feel this way again just because of me because you will stop caring about me soon enough."
I take my water bottle, They Both Die at the End a novel by Adam Silvera that I was planning on reading tomorrow, my reading glasses, a warm jersey and all those into a backpack. I pick up the ice packet I had placed on the table earlier and put it on my nose for a while. Hopefully it isn't broken or fractured because I really don't want to see another doctor for a while.
I yawn because of the lack of sleep, as I lazily walk towards the school hall.
As I enter the school hall which is a mandatory area to be in during storms since it's the safest during this kinds of situations, I see other students sitting in huge groups some even standing, as they socialize. I find myself a cozy warm corner, fully prepared to engross myself in the book I brought with me. But I feel like the effects of the sleep deprivation slowly start kicking in again, as I find myself opening my eyes to a not so very surprising yet amusing sight.
Well this is gonna be a long night.
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What do y'all think. What do you think will happen next?