Clark looked so pissed off and he was silent as he drove along the busy road of Buendia.
It was confusing me, like, for real. Mum told Clark that if he wouldn't take me, he couldn't have me. And if Clark wanted to have me and take care of me, he should marry me—and Mum has a point on that one. Hindi ko naman kasi nurse si Clark para obligahin siyang alagaan ako forever. Based on Mum's tone earlier, it wasn't like she badly wanted him for me kasi favorite niya lang si Clark. Nag-warn na siya na kung hindi kami magkakasundo about sa setup, layuan na lang ako ni Clark.
Parang mas tanggap ko pa ang reason ni Mum na kaya kami ikakasal ni Clark is because she wanted to brag him sa mga kumare niya. Because right now, no matter how hard I convince myself that Mum was just being maldita, she wasn't, and she has all the reasons to be rational about everything involving me and Clark.
Ang hirap depensahan ng side ko kasi may point si Mum. And the saddest part of it? Nawawalan ng sense ang lahat ng reasons ko para tumanggi.
My eyes were focused on the road when I asked Clark, "Bakit ka nasa Dasma?"
I heard him sigh so loudly that he needed to open the car window just to breathe.
Naguguluhan ako. Everything doesn't make any sense to me.
"Clark."
"Alam mo, Sab, gusto kong magalit kay Tita," sagot niya na malayo sa tanong ko, at ramdam na ramdam ko ang inis sa mga salitang 'yon.
"Mum's just controlling the situation—"
"Kaya nga!" galit na sigaw niya na halos ikaatras ko sa upuan.
Hindi na ako nakasagot. Napalunok na lang ako habang nakatitig sa galit na mukha niya.
He just took me from Mum after she threatened him to have me or leave me; now what?
"Galing akong Sun-Dias," biglang sabi niya, at nakikita kong ang bigat ng paghinga niya habang nagsasalita. Nakailang lingon pa siya sa gilid, umiiwas na makita ko. Saglit siyang nagbuka ng bibig, parang may sasabihin, but nothing—wala siyang sinabi. Huminga lang ulit nang malalim.
The suspense was killing me. And it felt as if I asked for a reason why he was mad, feeling ko, lalo lang siyang magagalit.
Alam na naming hindi kami mananalo kay Mum. After all, hindi naman paupo-upo lang sa bahay ang mommy ko. She manages people, she controls businesses, and she's a hard worker despite the fact that even if she didn't work, Dad could provide for her everyday lifestyle. Mas mayaman si Dad, but that doesn't mean she has no money on her own. And when she wants something done, she'll do everything to get it done as soon as possible.
"Did Mum block your amendments?" I asked in the middle of our silence.
"Nakipag-meeting ka na ba before kay Mr. Gonzalo?" tanong niya na malayo na naman sa ine-expect kong sagot.
"You mean Felipe Gonzalo?"
"Oo."
"Yeah. He's an investor sa Sun-Dias."
"Kasama si Madame O?"
"Yes."
"Saan?"
I tried to recall the place. "Hindi ko matandaan kung sa Manila Pen o sa Heritage."
"Ano'ng ginawa n'yo roon?"
"Meeting?" I answered, confused, and I started to wonder what these questions were for.
"Meeting lang?"
"May body inspection sila."
Saka lang niya ako nilingon at halatang bad mood pa rin. "Bakit ka iba-body inspection?"
"Just to see if may tattoo ako or moles or scars na hindi dapat makita during photoshoots."
"So, naghubad ka."
"Of course!" galit na sagot ko rin. "May body inspection bang hindi maghuhubad?"
"Sa harap ng investors?"
"Madame O said requirements 'yon for me to have an investor. They need to check my body para makita kung worth investing ba ang Sabrina's."
"Ilang beses mo 'tong ginawa sa harap ng mga"—then he made a finger quote sign using a single hand—"investors mo?"
"Every time na kailangan kong mag-present kasama si Madame O! Bakit ba?"
"After ng so-called presentation, ano na'ng ginagawa nila—ginagawa n'yo?"
"Balik sa meeting!"
"Did your investors ask you out on a date?"
"They take me to business dates! For my business 'yon! Bakit ba ang sarcastic mo, ha?"
"Sab, listen . . ." he said in a calmer yet sarcastic tone. "Walang problema sa contract. Because I know, Tita Tess polished that fucking agreement before you entered that fucking agency."
"E di ba, ite-terminate na nga?"
"And Tita should do that matagal na panahon na!"
My eyes automatically widened after he yelled at me. So, kinakampihan na niya ngayon si Mum? My brand is at stake!
"Sab, kasi ganito . . ." He bit his lower lip, and I could see that he was trying to calm himself. Even the car's speed was slower than the other cars driving along us. He let out another sigh and spoke. "Kasama mo si Madame O, irereto ka niya sa mga lalaking 'investor' mo, pupunta kayo sa hotel, maghuhubad ka sa harap nila tapos ide-date ka."
"That's how the business works! Ano ba'ng problema r'on?"
"Ang problema r'on, Sabrina, makinig ka." Pabigat nang pabigat ang tono niya at paurong naman ako nang paurong sa may pinto ng sasakyan. Kahit kalmado siya, ramdam ko ang galit niya. "Wala sa kontrata mo ang ginagawa ni Madame O. Ang body inspection, ginagawa sa clinic o sa ospital with medical experts or physicians. May data sheet silang ifi-fill out, doon ilalagay ang scars, moles, tattoos, and other physical defects na kailangan ng alterations. Ipapasa 'yon sa company to check, at kung kailangang i-alter, ipapa-alter 'yon sa clinic before you pose for modeling. Hindi kayo pupunta sa hotel, maghuhubad ka sa harap ng mga taong walang alam sa body inspection, at ide-date ka pagkatapos!"
"I'm a brand endorser, Clark! Matagal ko na 'tong ginagawa! Hindi lang si Mr. Gonzalo ang investor na nakausap ko—" Napahinto ako sa pagsasalita nang biglang ihinto ni Clark ang kotse niya sa malapit na curb sa amin.
"Tama na, Sab. Huwag ka nang magsalita," pakiusap niya sa pagod na boses. "Hindi alam ni Tita Tess na ginagawa mo 'yan, tama?"
"Hindi niya puwedeng malaman kasi hindi niya 'ko papayagan."
"Hindi ka naman talaga dapat payagan—" He was about to shout that but he compressed his yell and converted that into a deeper sigh. He combed his hair and he definitely looked angry.
Gusto ko pa sanang sumagot para depensahan ang sarili ko, pero tinitingnan ko pa lang siya, napapagod na ako sa magiging sagutan namin.
"Alam mo kung bakit ako nagagalit kay Tita Tess?" kalmado na niyang tanong. "Nagagalit ako kasi for the past five years, hinayaan ka lang niyang mag-decide para sa sarili mo."
"She didn't let—"
"She did, Sabrina," he cut me off. "Alam naming lahat na ayaw niya kay Ivo, yet nasa kasal ng kuya mo ang ex mo. Ayaw niyang gumagastos ka sa lalaki, pero hinayaan ka lang niya. Kasi kung ako si Tita, umpisa pa lang na malaman kong pineperahan ka lang ni Ivo, dinispatsa ko sana siya! Kahit kuya mo, alam 'yan! Pero hinayaan ka lang niya!"
Nagsisimula na akong maiyak sa takot. Alam ko namang hindi ako sasaktan ni Clark, pero may takot na nabubuo sa akin sa bawat sigaw niya.
"Ngayon lang kumilos si Tita Tess para saluhin ka, Sabrina . . ." Mas nangibabaw na ang pagkadismaya sa tono niya. "At gusto ko siyang tanungin kung bakit ngayon lang . . ."
♥♥♥
"Sinabi ko na sa kuya mong umuwi ka, bakit hindi ka pa umuuwi?"
Nakatitig lang ako sa cup ng iced coffee na bigay ni Jaesie habang sinesermunan niya rin ako.
May work pa rin si Clark, yet he canceled his morning appointments. Half past eleven, nasa Purple Plate kami, kausap ni Clark si Kuya habang ako naman ang kausap ni Jaesie. Nasa middle table kami, sa isang glass wall na may island bilang divider sa aisle na katapat ng handwashing area.
Ang blank ng feeling ko, hindi ko ma-explain. Parang gusto ko na lang tumulala whole day.
"Sab, matagal na nating alam na pakialamera si Mum, but things are getting out of hand," Jaesie continued. "Sun-Dias daw ang nagbabayad ng penthouse mo."
"Yeah," I answered, bored.
"Pero ongoing na ang termination ng contract mo, di ba?"
"Yeah."
"Yung boutique mo sa Rockwell, may questionable records daw. Hindi nakapangalan sa 'yo ang contract sa leasing."
"Gift lang 'yon ng isa sa mga investor ng Sabrina's," paliwanag ko. "Matagal na 'yon."
"You better go home, Sab," Jaesie said, and her voice was pleading, hindi ako sanay. "Malapit nang ikasal si Leo. Magiging busy na naman kaming lahat. May work si Clark pero hindi nakakapagtrabaho because of you."
Ang sama ng tingin ko kay Jaesie habang pinakikinggan siya. Feeling ko, ang selfish na pilitin akong umuwi sa bahay nina Mum e ayoko ngang umuwi.
We just walked out in front of Mum, and now, she's asking me to go back kung nasaan si Mum.
"Don't blame me na hindi nakakapagtrabaho si Clark. Hindi ko naman siya guguluhin kung hindi mo pinakasalan ang kuya ko. E di sana, may nag-aalaga sa akin ngayon."
Jae's face turned into resting-bitch face and gave me a mocking laugh while shaking her head. "Yeah, right. Blame everyone but never yourself, Sabrina." She stood up and looked at me downward in full superiority. "And you wonder why hindi ka favorite ng parents mo."
She smirked and rolled her eyes before leaving me.
Bakit ba ang annoying nilang lahat today!
♥♥♥
I started to feel that everyone was against me right now. Kung paano ako tingnan kanina ni Clark, ganoon na rin ang tingin ni Kuya nang ako naman ang kausapin niya.
Umalis na si Clark kasi may hahabulin siyang lunch meeting. Wala akong choice kundi maiwan sa Purple Plate kasi nga ayaw akong paalisin ni Kuya nang mag-isa lang.
We were sitting inside Jaesie's office—I was on the couch and Kuya was seated in a white parsons chair (na mukhang upuan ng mga customer sa labas). He was crossing his arms and looking at me with annoyed eyes.
"Sab, ang dami na nating naaabala," Kuya started. "Naiirita na ang asawa ko sa nangyayari. Ang buong barkada, nag-a-adjust ngayon kasi ikakasal na si Leo, and none of them has the time to accommodate another headache they didn't sign up for."
"Pero ayaw ngang ibigay ni Mum ang mga gamit ko!"
"Dumaan daw kayo sa bahay, bakit hindi mo kinuha?"
"Kasi nagsagutan sila ni Clark, and I had no time to take my things after we walked out!"
"Then you should take your things first before talking to Mum!" Kuya answered in a raised voice. "Si Daddy, tumawag. Dumaan ka raw sa bahay. He was waiting kung sasabay ka ba sa lunch so he could take you out, then what now? Sab, busy ang lahat, okay?"
"Busy kayo kasi may mga work kayo! Mum is terminating my contract in Sun-Dias, she closed my boutique, and now, I'm jobless, I'm homeless, and I'm penniless!"
"Bumalik ka sa bahay. Doon ka muna kina Daddy."
"Ayoko! Nandoon si Mum. Kung si Daddy lang, okay, fine. I'll stay."
"Sab . . ."
"Ayoko nga sa bahay nila!" I threw the pillow on my lap and stood up. "I'll bring back my career alone! Kung ayaw n'yong makipag-cooperate, then I'll do it myself!"
I stormed out of the office after that.
I need my job back. Hindi ako babalik kay Mum kahit kaladkarin pa nila ako papuntang Dasma.
♥♥♥