"Kumusta ka naman d'yan, anak? Ayos ka lang ba?"
Nginitian ko si Mama. Kahit nakangiti siya sa akin, rinig na rinig ko ang pag-aalala sa boses niya. Ilang linggo din kaming hindi nakapag-usap dahil naging busy ako sa trabaho at sa mga kaibigan ko.
"Ayos lang, Ma. Natingnan na ni Attorney yung bahay. Nasa market na din daw. Maghintay nalang tayo ng buyer."
"Sana nga mabenta na kaagad para makauwi ka na din..."
I trailed off, not knowing what to respond for a moment. Sinulyapan ko si Ivo na natutulog sa tabing kama. Ako pa lang ata ang gising sa amin. Lahat sila ay tulog na tulog dahil na rin sa pagod kaninang madaling-araw.
"Uh... Mama, kami na nga po pala ni Ivo."
Gulat na napatingin sa akin si Mama bago umukopa ang malawak na ngiti sa mukha niya.
"Talaga?! Kailan pa?!" excited niyang tanong sa akin.
I blushed like a teenager. My mom is acting like we're both teenagers gossiping about my first boyfriend. Maybe we were.
"Nung isang buwan lang po. Nagkita kami ulit."
"Hay, tama nga ako." She said, still smiling. "Pakausap ako kay Primitivo mamaya, ha?"
I nodded. Biglang lumabas ang mukha ni Sonny sa screen. He beamed at me.
"Ate! Miss ka na namin!"
Siningkitan ko siya ng mga mata. "Gusto mo lang ng pasalubong, eh."
Sonny laughed, all manly with his deep voice. "Baka naman, Ate..."
Inirapan ko lang ang kapatid at binalingan si Mama.
"Si Selena at Wesley po?"
"Ay, nako, si Wesley kahapon pa nilalagnat. Hindi nga tumuloy sa flight niya si Selena kasi napa-paranoid eh nandito naman ako para magbantay. Dinala na namin siya sa ospital kanina kaso pinauwi din ng doktor."
"Pa-kumusta nalang po ako sa kanila..."
"Ate, si Kuya Ivo ba yan sa likod mo?"
Nagulat ako nang may itinuro si Sonny. I was talking to them mindlessly and didn't notice that behind me is the bed where Ivo is sleeping. Itinapat ko doon ang camera, pati na rin sa iba pang mga natutulog.
"Nag-sleep-over kami kasi birthday ng kambal."
"Yiee! Friends na ulit kayo, Ate?"
"Anong friends? Jowa na nga, eh!" si Mama naman.
"Gagi, talaga?! Gustong-gusto ko talaga si Kuya Ivo para sa iyo, Ate!"
Hininaan ko ang volume dahil ang ingay-ingay na nilang dalawa sa kabilang linya. Sonny would often meet up with Ivo whenever he's here in the country, visiting my father. We wanted to cremate our father at first so we don't have to keep on going back here, but instead we just buried him with honor. Kahit gaano karami ang masasamang alaala ko dito sa La Union, babalik at babalik pa rin ako lalo't narito si Papa.
Pagkatapos naming mag-usap, bumangon na ako at naligo. My eyes are still burning from the lack of sleep, but I couldn't find myself trudging back to bed. Lumabas nalang ako para mag-order ng kakainin namin sa agahan.
Pagbalik ko, mukhang gising na ata sila. Una kong narinig ang boses ni Ivo.
"—saan si Raya?"
I pushed the door open. Napatingin kaagad siya sa akin. The look of worry on his face vanished when he saw me.
"Puro ka Raya, ayan na oh!" masungit na sagot ni Avery sa kaniya kaya natawa ako. She's the only one with a hang-over. Hindi siya nahimasmasan sa ininom niya kagabi at kaagad na nakatulog.
"Tara, nag-order na ako sa restaurant..."
"Sino nga ulit yung talo kanina? Sina Yari at Raya magbabayad, ah?" paalala naman ni Karlo. Sinamaan namin siyang dalawa ng tingin ni Yari.
Sobrang ingay namin sa lamesa at halos hindi na kami magkarinigan dahil iba't iba ang topic na sabay-sabay pinag-uusapan. Napailing nalang ako. Some are even reminiscing what happened last night. Hiyang-hiya si Avery dahil sa ginawa niya at kulang nalang magtago ito sa ilalim ng lamesa.
After eating, we went back to pack our things. Kailangan nang umuwi nina Lulu dahil may trabaho pa si Kael. Si Avery naman, day-off niya pero pupunta daw siya ng St. Agnes dahil may is-submit na report. Si Yari naman at Kei, may negosyo pang kailangang tutukan. Nadia would go back to her usual routine of painting while Karlo has to work this afternoon. Ravi is still in the middle of a tour and needs to go, as well as Celeste.
"Baka abutin na naman tayo ng taon bago magkita, ah? Sasapakin ko talaga kayo isa-isa..." si Celeste habang nasa parking lot kami at nagpapaalam sa isa't isa.
"Hindi, ah! Ngayong taon kayo magpapakasal, diba?" Yari asked with a smile and turned to Ravi.
Tumango naman ito at inakbayan si Celeste. "Invited kayo."
"Matic na yan, Ravi. Kapag hindi mo kami in-invite, susugod ako sa kasal niyo tapos sisigaw ako ng 'Itigil ang kasal!' sa harap ng maraming tao..." natatawang sagot ni Yari.
Isa-isa ko silang niyakap at nagpaalam. They know I'm going to go back to the states again in less than a month. For sure, magkikita ulit kami bago ako umalis.
I climbed inside Ivo's car and turned to him. Day-off ko rin naman ngayon at bukas pa ako babalik sa office.
Inihatid ako ni Ivo sa apartment ko sa Pangasinan bago siya lumuwas ng Manila. I immediately unpacked all my stuff and made sure to dry the clothes I wore on the beach. Nagluto na din ako ng hapunan at nanuod ng movie sa kama bago makatulog.
When I came into the office the next day, I felt relieved. The weekend really cleansed me. I didn't realize I needed a break until now.
"Ma'am, about po dun sa nangyari last week..." lumapit sa akin ang lifestyle editor namin.
I waved my hand in dismissal. "It's okay. I'm sorry I talked to you that way. We're cool."
She nodded and apologized again before going back to her desk. I feel at ease, knowing that everything's fine right now.
Habang nagc-check ako ng articles, bigla akong nakatanggap ng tawag mula sa main office namin sa Manhattan. I accepted the call and turned on my camera when I saw it was my general manager.
"Sereia! How are you doing there?"
"I'm fine, Deborah. Hope you guys are doing fine."
"Not without you." She laughed. "We saw the October issue of the magazine, and we think it's fire. We were thinking of assigning you to a new project when you come back here."
"Oh?"
"Remember the magazine feature you've talked about 6 months ago? Well, it seems our EIC finally decided to give you a shot for this feature. That means, you'll be promoted to editorial assistant of the main office when you get here."
Nanigas ako sa kinauupuan at seryosong napatingin kay Deborah. I've been pitching that magazine feature for so long but they wouldn't give me a chance because I need more experience.
"We've talked to the artist already, and he will allow you to film and document his creative process only if you do it alone. No crew, no assistant. Just you."
Napaawang ang bibig ko. There's an elusive 107-year old clay artist living in a remote place in Mexico that I really want to document but we've been rejected several times. Nawalan na ako ng pag-asa na papayag siya pero ngayon ay mukhang gusto na niyang magpa-interview sa akin.
"You know, this could be your biggest break. I know your top 10 eligible bachelors are doing numbers but this artist... well, the whoe world hasn't heard a thing or two about him! this interview will open doors of opportunities for you, Sereia. Congratulations and I'm so excited for you."
Tulala ako hanggang sa matapos ang tawag. Gusto kong hanapin ang tuwa na dapat kong maramdaman sa mga oras na ito pero hindi ko makita. Bumuntong-hininga ako at sumandal sa upuan, pilit na iniisip kung bakit hindi ko magawang matuwa na babalik na ako sa states at may naghihintay na promotion sa akin.
"Sereia?"
Nag-angat ako ng tingin at nakitang naroon ang EIC namin. She smiled and walked towards me.
"Kinausap ka na ni Deborah?"
Tumango ako.
"She talked to me first. So, you've heard the offer? Congratulations."
"Thank you, Ma'am." I said stiffly.
"You don't seem happy?"
Natigilan ako. Seryosong nakatingin sa amin ang EIC namin. She crossed her arms over her breasts and gave me a serious look.
"You're hesitating."
Kinagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi. Six... or even four months ago, if I heard the news, I would've been jumping up and down in joy. Pero ngayon, hindi ko mapigilang maging masaya.
"I know I might get fired for doing this..." she chuckled to herself. "But we want you to stay, Sereia. Brilliant minds often do not come in a silver platter in our humble office. I will face the HQ for you, should you wish to stay. But if you accept the offer, I will also understand. It's a once-in-a-lifetime offer, Sereia. Heck, you could start your own magazine company after that interview. You will be known."
I tried to absorb everything she said to me with a rational mind. Tinitimbang ko kung anong mas mahalaga sa akin ngayon. Nagawa kong umalis noon para sa pangarap ko, at ngayon aalis ulit ako para dito? Pangarap pa rin ba ang tawag kung hindi ko mahanap ang kaligayahan ko doon?
Isa pa, naghihintay sina Mama sa akin. How can I leave them hanging? Alam kong malalaki na ang mga kapatid ko at may kaniya-kaniya na silang buhay. Pero tumatanda na din si Mama kaya kailangan niya ng mag-aalaga sa kaniya. Ayokong mangyari ulit ang nangyari kay Papa.
But if I leave, I would leave Ivo again. He's tied to the company. He can't go and just leave it behind. The dreaded realization is knocking at the back of my mind.
You can't make LDR work. Even married couple is tore apart by distance.
"Well, you still have time to think. Let me know your decision by then, okay? I'm going to respect it, whatever you made up your mind."
Hindi na ako nakapag-focus sa pagc-check ng articles kinahapunan. I went to the rooftop of the building instead to think to myself. Kahit anong timbang ang gawin ko, hindi ko talaga matukoy kung alin ang dapat kong piliin.
"Are you okay?"
Nag-angat ako ng tingin kay Ivo. He had the worried look on his face again and it made me feel guilty. Ilang araw na din akong nakakulong sa loob ng isipan ko para pag-isipan kung anong dapat kong gawin ngayon. Ivo had to cancel some of his meetings so we could meet up and have a date night but I'm ruining it already.
"Ayos lang ako..." I cleared my throat and gave him a fake smile.
"Anong iniisip mo?"
I stared at him. As much as I want to confide, he's too involved in this. He wouldn't be able to give me an unbiased advice because we both know that we couldn't let go of each other.
"Work problems lang, pero hindi naman gaanong seryoso. Sorry. Ano nga ulit ang sinasabi mo?" I smiled and this time, it was genuine.
Ivo hesitated for a bit, but after sensing that I don't want to talk about it, at least not now, he resumed talking about their new project in Bataan. They're going to build a resort again but this time it's going to be more budget-friendly. Ivo is testing his luck on the new market because rich people bore him. Now, he's determined to build beautiful resorts for the mass, not exclusively to the wealthy.
"Deserve din naman nilang makapasyal sa magandang resort nang hindi nabubutas ang bulsa, diba?"
I beamed and nodded, proud that he's thinking like this. Though I'm not so sure if his father would approve of the idea because their brand has always leaned toward luxury resorts instead of cozy, cheap getaways.
Dinala ako ni Ivo sa Urbiztondo ngayong gabi. Dito siya palaging nags-surf kapag bumibisita siya sa La Union. Sometimes, the waves in their resort are not big enough so he'd always drop by here. This place has a reputation of having the most consistent waves, and it never disappointed his carefree spirit.
Pagkatapos naming kumain, naglakad-lakad kami sa dalampasigan. The stretch of the beach is filled with tourists who are hoping to catch the last of light in the waves before calling it a day. I asked Ivo earlier if he wanted to surf, but he shook his head and said he just wanted to spend some time with me.
Naupo kami sa buhanginan at nanuod lang sa mga nags-surf sa dagat. Ivo pulled something from his pocket and showed it to me.
"Buhay pa pala yan?" natatawa kong tanong nang makita ang film camera na binili niya sa Japan Surplus noon.
"If you take care of things, they'll surely last..." Ivo said with a gentle smile and turned it on. Itinapat niya 'to sa akin. "Pero feeling ko talaga minumulto 'tong camera na 'to. Baka hinahanap ng dating may-ari..."
I laughed carelessly, and Ivo captured the moment in his camera. I used to be so shy and conscious whenever he turns the viewfinder to my direction but now I feel at ease. Marahan kong kinuha sa kaniya ang camera.
"Paano 'to gamitin?"
"Itapat mo lang sa subject mo tapos i-click mo 'tong shutter..." paliwanag naman ni Ivo.
Akala niya ata ang dagat ang kukunan ko ng litrato dahil dun niya tinatapat ang camera. I chuckled gently and turned it to him.
"Ikaw naman..."
"Huh?"
"Puro mukha ko lang ang nandito, eh. Baka ako na yung habulin ng multo."
Ivo laughed, and I tried my best to capture the moment, too. The camera surely loves him. Kahit anong anggulo, gwapo pa rin siya. I couldn't recall having difficulty with the photoshoot before because Ivo was such a natural.
"Ang daya..."
Ibinalik ko sa kaniya ang camera. Kahit na hindi ko matingnan ang kinuha kong litrato, alam ko namang maganda yun. Ivo said that the digital camera rips off the excitement and thrill of a film camera when the images are being developed for the first time. Ito siguro ang dahilan kung bakit inaalagaan niya ito kahit na pwede naman siyang bumili ng bago at mas advanced na mga camera.
Nang tuluyan nang dumilim, naglakad-lakad ulit kami. None of us are in a hurry to go home. In fact, I want to spend as much time with him as I can.
"Gusto mong bisitahin ang Lorma?" tanong sa akin ni Ivo nang umabot kami sa dulo ng dalampasigan.
Napatingin ako sa kaniya. "Huh? Hindi naman ako alumna dun..."
He chuckled. "Ayos lang, dala ko naman ang alumni ID ko, pero hindi ako sigurado kung bukas pa sila. Kain nalang tayo ng tapsilog?"
Tumango ako. Ivo drove us to Lorma. It's my first time stepping back here after I left in my second year of college. Naroon pa rin ang mga tindahan at kainan na madalas naming pinupuntahan noon. Iyong tapsilogan na tinutukoy ni Ivo, mas lumaki na at may logo na rin sila. Kulay pula at puti ang mga upuan nila ngayon at may uniform pa ang staff. For some reason, I felt happy and proud for them.
"Hindi na ako kilala ng mga nagbabantay dito, wala na kasi ang may-ari." Paliwanag ni Ivo sa akin habang pumapasok kami sa loob.
Memories of my brief college life flashed before my eyes. Ever since Ivo discovered this place, we'd come here for lunch. Pang-estyudante naman kasi ang presyo ng tapsilog nila pero ngayon tumaas ang presyo ng sampung piso. Itinuro ko ang gusto ko at naupo malapit sa TV.
"San na kaya yung mga nakasabay natin nung enrolment no?" tanong sa akin ni Ivo nang bumalik siya mula sa counter. "Gusto ko silang hanapin tapos sasabihin ko sa kanila na ngayon, girlfriend na talaga kita..." he grinned.
Napailing ako. "Hahanapin mo sila para lang dun?"
"Oo naman! Bakit hindi? Nakatulong naman sila sa love life natin..."
I laughed. "Baliw."
"Sa iyo..."
Siniko ko si Ivo. He's being cheesy again! Tumawa lang siya at inakbayan ako.
May mga estyudanteng nagsisilabasan galing sa night class nila ang nagpunta sa tapsilogan para kumain. Mayamaya, umingay na din sila. Napatingin ako sa kanila. Suot nila ang puting uniporme na may kulay berdeng kwelyo at lining sa manggas. Black na skirt sa mga babae at puting slacks naman sa mga lalaki. I kind of want to see Ivo wearing that uniform again. There's just something nostalgic about it.
Three days later, Ivo took me back to Lorma again. He's a guest speaker in a conference for the BSBA department. Dahil alumni siya ng Lorma at isa sa pinaka-successful, inimbitahan siyang magsalita sa harapan para sa mga BSBA students.
I sat in the far corner of the gym, together with the students. Hindi naman ata nila napansin na hindi ako estyudante dito dahil wala namang nakasuot ng uniform ngayon. When Ivo was introduced, he went to the stage without anything. I thought he'd bring a copy of his speech but it seems he's going to talk impromptu.
"Alumni ba talaga natin yan? Pangalan pa lang, ang gwapo na!" narinig kong wika ng babaeng nasa harapan ko.
"Oo. Nakita mo yung October issue ng Social Synergy? Siya yung cover!"
"Gosh! Kaya pala sobrang familiar! Nakaka-proud naman na Lormanian siya..."
I smiled to myself and stared at Ivo. He scanned the crowd, looking for something... someone... until our eyes met. He smiled and cleared his throat.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid this is not your usual rags-to-riches success story that most entrepreneurs have, but rather a very typical approach of starting a business using the privilege that came with my surname. Escarra." Ivo started. "And it all started ten years ago when my father punched me in the face..."
I sat and listened to his story, trying to imagine everything he went through when we were apart. The fallingout with the Cojuangco's, the rebranding of the company, his father's frustration and the pressure of being the sole heir of the Escarra Corporation. I know he went through a lot, but I never thought it was this hard. If I could go back in time and comfort him, I would. He was going through all these hardships alone.
"I'll end this speech with one last advice: choose your friends wisely. They will either make you or break you. Two of my friends came from a Fil-Chi family who are running their family business for more than 160 years. One is a successful psychologist who takes care of the group's mental health. The other one proves there is glory and pride in running a simple household. One of them took the leap and entered dentistry despite the prejudice of everyone and there's this special woman... who became one of the most reputable journalists of her time and finally achieved her dreams despite all the hardships she went through as a breadwinner. We all have different stories, but we sympathize with each other. And this is what keeps our bond strong for over 15 years..."
Nagsitayuan ang mga estyudante at pumalakpak nang matapos ang speech ni Ivo. He thanked everyone and exited the stage. Sinalubong ko siya sa likod pagkatapos ng event.
"Tara, isaw tayo." Aniya nang nakangiti.
I smiled and followed him outside. Medyo natagalan pa kami dahil may mga estyudanteng nagpapa-picture sa kaniya. Ivo smiled politely and after that, we finally managed to get out.
"Pagkatapos mong magbigay ng ganung speech, gusto mong mag-isaw?" pang-aasar ko sa kaniya.
"Eh nagc-crave ako, eh!" si Ivo naman na palingon-lingon at mukhang hindi alam kung saang stall kami pupunta dahil sa dami ng nakalinya sa tapat ng gate. "Andami na nila..."
I chuckled and pulled him to the nearest stall. Yung mga bagong lutong tempura ang kinuha ko samantalang si Ivo naman ay nagpaluto ng isaw. Bumili din ako ng gulaman at naupo sa sementong upuan tabi ng stall. Mayamaya pa, tumabi sa akin si Ivo hawak ang isaw niya.
I stared at the uniformed students rushing towards the terminal. Rush hour na ngayon kaya malamang mahihirapan na silang sumakay. May isa pang muntik nang madapa kaya nahulog ang hawak niyang kartolina. She cursed under her breath and picked it up before sprinting to catch the jeep.
"Ang bilis ng panahon, 'no?"
Ivo must've been staring at the girl, too, because he nodded.
"Sobrang bilis... parang noon lang, ang manhid-manhid mo."
Siniko ko siya at sinamaan ng tingin. Ivo laughed.
A uniformed boy stopped and bent down to pick up the girl must've dropped. He stared at the keychain and chuckled to himself, before putting it on his pocket and following the girl.
"Ganyan ba tayo noon?" bulong ko kay Ivo.
"Alin dun? Hindi ako stalker, ah!"
I rolled my eyes. Napakatinong kausap ni Ivo kanina sa speech niya tapos ngayon halos wala na akong makuhang seryosong sagot. He chuckled and pulled me closer.
"Alam mo, kung nag-UP ka noon, susunod ata ako sa iyo..."
"Huh?"
"Nag-take din ako ng UPCAT..." Ivo said, tilting his head a bit. "I figured I could go back to my life in Manila, as long as I can watch over you. Buti nalang talaga nag-Lorma ka..."
I chuckled. Parang noon lang, iniiyakan ko pa ang UP dahil hindi ako nakapag-aral doon.
Inubos namin ang kinakaing streetfoods saka naglakad-lakad sa campus dahil maliwanag pa naman. We visited our old classrooms before and pointed out the changes. Nang mapagod, bumalik kami sa labas. Ivo held my hand while we were heading to his car.
"Ihahatid kita sa Pangasinan, tapos babalik na ako ng Manila..." ani Ivo habang pinapaandar ang sasakyan.
I nodded and stared at the campus once more. A ghost of smile touched my face.
"I think I'm falling in love with La Union once again..." I confessed, still staring at the campus gate.
"Talaga? Sabi mo yan, ah. Marami akong bahay dito, pili ka lang." biro ni Ivo sa akin.
I chuckled and turned to him.
"Ivo..."
"Hmm?"
"Mahal kita..." I said out of the blue. Natigilan si Ivo at napatingin sa akin. His eyes were soft in the blue lights. I thought my heart would be exploding in my chest but I feel so peaceful and calm saying those words.
Inabot ni Ivo ang kamay niya sa akin at marahan itong pinisil.
"Kailan ba kita hindi minahal, Sereia? Wala akong maalalang araw na hindi kita mahal..."
I smiled and leaned back on my chair.
I think I've made my decision.
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#HanmariamDWTWChap41