YOU HAVE NO IDEAAAA HOW LONG IVE BREN WAITING TO USE THIS PICTURE ^^^ THIS CHAPTER IS A MAJOR PLOT POINT
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I woke up to banging on my door. I was scared because who the hell is banging on my door? Just as I was freaking out my phone started ringing and that's when I got REALLY creeped out. This is how every horror movie starts. I grabbed my phone with my shaky hands and it was... Kageyama? I answered the phone and he started shouting
"Y/N I'M OUTSIDE! ITS FREEZING, COME AND OPEN YOUR DOOR"
"KAGEYAMA WHAT THE HELL?"
"YOU SCARED THE FORK OUTTA ME"
"Well you weren't answering your flipping door"
"I'll be down in a sec. Jesus" I said as I rolled my eyes
I hung up quickly and ran to my bathroom to make sure I didn't just look like I had just woken up. But I look exactly like I have just woken up. I groaned and walked out my bathroom. I ran down the stairs and unlocked my door to see a freezing Kageyama
"What the hell happened to the weather?" I said as Kageyama ran into my house "WHY IS IT RAINING AT THE START OF FUCKING MAY?"
"CLOSE THE DOOR," Kageyama said like a little baby as he was coddled up on my sofa. I rolled my eyes and shut the door.
"It's so cold," Kageyama said and I just stared at him in shock
"Really? I had no clue," I said and he looked at me with a moody face. I walked over to the couch and sat next to him
"Sooooo why are you here?" I asked him trying not to sound rude
"I came to get you for the sleepover," he said
"No. I'm not going," I said sternly
"I don't know what happened between you and Tsukishima but you guys are being silly," Kageyama said awkwardly
I couldn't escape anything in my sleep. All I dreamed about was never talking to Tsukishima again, and for some reason I hated it. I hated the thought of never talking to Kei again, never seeing him again, never hearing him calling me an idiot again, never having him talk some sense into me again. I hated imagining life without Kei. And that scared the fuck out of me. When did I start depending on him so much? When did I start getting happy to see him? When did I start liking being around him?
"Nothing happened between me and Kei. I'm not feeling well," I said as I fake coughed and Kageyama looked at me with a straight face. Not believing me in the slightest.
"Do I look like an idiot to you?" He said and I had to keep in a laugh
"Yes," I said while failing and laughing anyway "YOU CANT EVEN BE MAD AT ME BECAUSE YOU GAVE ME THAT OPENING. WHAT DID YOU EXPECT ME TO SAY? NO?" I sat there laughing and Kageyama just watched me madly as he crossed his arms "Ok I'm done," I said as I managed to compose myself but his mad face still remained and he just stared me dead in the soul
"Are you dying?" I asked worriedly and he rolled his eyes
"Get ready to go," Kageyama said as he stood up and I looked at him madly from the sofa
"I'm. Not. Going."
"I didn't think you were one to break promises Y/n," Kageyama said and I got confused "I was told that you promised to have a sleepover"
"But... it will be awkward if I go," I said nervously and he looked down at me not sure what to say
"I won't let it be awkward," he said and I stood up from the couch and looked at him confused "I promise that I won't let it be awkward Y/n, I won't leave you alone with him, I won't let there be an awkward silence and I won't let the team know something is going on," he said and my heart skipped a beat.
I always tell myself I don't like Kageyama simply because I don't want to like him. But it's times like this when I can't deny my feelings for him. Not to myself or anyone else. And I look at myself and say "how stupid are you for not WANTING to like him" because why shouldn't I want to like him?
"You swear?" I managed to say
"I swear," he said with a smile
"Ok then"
"Now go, we're already late," he said as he started pushing me towards the stairs.
I packed my things as quickly as possible. Making sure not to forget ANYTHING. I texted my mom letting her know where I would be. Me and Kageyama watched tv as we waited for the rain to stop because Kageyama was too much of a baby to go back out into the rain.
Tsukishima's pov
I for whatever reason let the team into my house, I'm pretty sure they could tell I was more... my 'old' self than usual. Every time the doorbell went I stupidly hoped it was her. Y/n. But it never was. I wanted to lock myself in my room but I knew I couldn't do that. So instead I sat in the sitting room letting them pick stupid movie after stupid movie. The team didn't seem sad but there was an unusual silence in the room. Probably because Y/n's voice didn't travel from wall to wall every two seconds.
"When can we get food?" Hinata said as his stomach rumbled
"When everyone gets here," Suga said and Hinata groaned at Suga's response
We were still waiting for Kiyoko, Yachi and Kageyama to arrive
I wasn't sure if Kiyoko and Yachi were going to come since Y/n wasn't going to be here but they decided to come anyway. I noticed that Yachi and Kiyoko had grown close over the last few weeks and that made me feel... sadness for Y/n. I'm not sure why I felt sadness for her but I knew I did because every time I thought of her being left out, not that Kiyoko and Yachi would ever leave her out, but every time I pictured it my heart had this weird tug on it.
The doorbell went and I practically ran to the door. I was still filled with hope that it could be Y/n. I opened the door to see Yachi and Kiyoko and I felt... disappointed. Which freaks me the fuck out because I like Yachi so why would I be disappointed? But then Yachi smiled at me and the disappointment washed into nerves as I awkwardly smiled back at her. They both walked into my house and I had the urge to bang my head against the door as I shut it
WHY DID YOU SMILE LIKE THAT
STOP BEING AN IDIOT
just calm down
It's only a girl
"Hey Tsukishima," Yachi said in the sweetest tone and I didn't know what to say.
Do I say hi back?
Do I just nod my head?
What do I do?
Y/n usually tells me what to do but she's not here so I'm completely fucking alone
Instead of doing anything normal I walked passed her and Kiyoko and into the living room without even acknowledging either one of them.
I'm such an idiot
And to think I was considering doing what Y/n told me to do and call Yachi to see if she wanted to go cat shopping with me
No. Fucking. Way.
Great and I've just reminded myself of Y/n again
I haven't stopped thinking about Y/n and the argument all day, talking to Yachi was the only time that I managed to forget about her. But obviously it didn't last long
"Can we get food now?" Hinata said as Yachi and Kiyoko walked into the living room
"Kageyama still isn't here," said Daichi. Hinata started rolling around on the couch annoyed and I rolled my eyes
"But Kageyama said he was going to be late," Hinata said with a whine
"Just be patient, Hinata," said Suga and I looked at Tanaka and Noya who were also exaggerating like Hinata.
I wonder where Kageyama is
Back to Y/n's pov
Me and Kageyama were about halfway to Tsukishima's house but then I saw a park and begged Kageyama to go for at least for a few seconds
"Pleaseeee Kageyama," I said while whining "ONLY A FEW SECONDS I JUST WANNA GO ON THE SWINGS," I said and Kageyama rolled his eyes
"Fine!" He said as he started storming away to the park
"Yay!" I said happily as I ran to keep up with him
"One minute Y/n. One minute is all you get," he said as I sat down on the swings and he stood next to me
"I promise!" I said with a giggle
It definitely won't be one minute
"What are you doing?" I asked as I looked up at him
"What?" He said as he looked down at me confused
"Sit down," I said as I pointed at the other swing
"Uh no, I am more mature than that," he said and I rolled my eyes as I grabbed his arm and started pushing him into the swing "no Y/-" he said before I managed to get him to sit
"Wasnt that hard," I said and he looked at me madly "you didn't put up a fuss when we went to that park with Emiko" I said and he thought about it in his head
"Whatever" he said and I giggled as I shook my head and looked over at a man who was walking his dog, I smiled at that interaction.
I wish I had a pet
I mean I have shortcake
But she's not really my pet
She's Kei's
I looked at Kageyama and he was staring at the moon, I turned my attention to the moon and all the air left my lungs as I looked at it. It was a full moon and it was so clear and bright. It hurt my eyes to look at it but I couldn't stop.
"Hey, Y/n," Kageyama said and my eyes barely left the moon until I saw an odd emotion on Kageyama's face and I completely forgot about how bright and captivating the moon was as I tried to figure out the emotion covering his face
"Yeah?" I said to him as I looked into his eyes which were filled with the strange emotion. Guilt? Why would Kageyama feel guilty? I examined the guilt painted all over his face and wondered how I hadn't figured it out quicker. He opened his mouth to say something but then shook his head and shook all the guilt of his face. He stayed silent for a few more seconds, like he was thinking of what to say.
"What do you wish for most in the world?" He asked me. And I have never been so confused in my life. I'm 100% sure that's not what he was going to say to me.
I wonder what he wanted to tell me
Why did he look so guilty?
"Are you a genie?" I said with a smile and he fought off a laugh
"No you dummy, I just wanna know," he said a bit seriously. I didn't know how to reply. Well I did, I knew what my answer was, I just didn't know if I should tell him. Would he laugh at me?
Just say it Y/n
If you take any longer to reply he'll know something is wrong
"I know it sounds corny but I wish for... true love," I said nervously as I looked away from him. "My wish is stupid though because I don't believe in love, I want something that I don't believe, which is quite funny" I laughed a little as I thought about it. I believe in soulmates but not love, I don't know how that works.
"That's surprising," he said and I looked at him confused, "I thought out of everyone in the world you would be the person to believe in love" I shrugged at what he said
We sat in silence as we looked at the moon. In Japan we have a special way to say "I love you" and it's "the moon is beautiful, isn't it?", I don't believe in love but if love was real this is what it would feel like, right? The way I feel for Kageyama. That has to be love. Because I've never felt this way for anyone else before.
"The moon is beautiful, isn't it?" I said to him I didn't look at him mainly because I was too scared to look at him
"I've seen better. Now let's get a move on," he said as he stood up. Of course he didn't understand what I meant.
That was probably the worst response I could have ever of gotten
At least I didn't get a no?
I stood up and we walked. I was trying to shake off my sadness while walking with Kageyama. He rejected me and he doesn't even know he did but it still hurts.
I'm so stupid
Because of the argument with Tsukishima, I kinda forgot about what happened with Kageyama yesterday. I forgot that I practically abandoned him for Oikawa. I abandoned him for someone who he hates, for someone who he hates for a reason. I wish I knew the reason.
I forgot that I needed to apologise to him
God I'm such a bad friend
I've made two people mad at me in two days
Great
"Kageyama," I said sadly and Kageyama looked down at me "I'm... sorry about yesterday," I said nervously and Kageyama looked forward
"I came to get you for the sleepover Y/n so obviously I'm not mad. It's ok" he said as he didn't look at me
"You seem mad," I said and he looked down at me madly but then his expression softened
"I just hate Oikawa," he said and my stomach turned from fear. I've messed up
What do I say?
"I don't know why you hate Oikawa, but I know it's probably something to do with volleyball and Oikawa being... yknow. I know he's very hateable but he's like an onion, he looks very unpleasant and seems very unpleasant and tastes very unpleasant. But if you take all they layers away, he can make everything better. Just like an onion, a lot of things would taste bad without onions."
"Oh my god, I'm so dirty minded," Kageyama said and my face went red as I shoved him
"I DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT!" I shouted and he laughed
"Also you've been watching shrek to much," he said and I giggled
"I'm trying to be deep here," I said madly as I crossed my arms
"Well I don't like onions," Kageyama said as he stopped laughing and became serious
"You're like a light switch, wow," I said and he looked down at me moodily and I rolled my eyes at him
"Thanks for forgiving me, Kageyama," I said with a smile and Kageyama's expression changed to a grossed out one
"Well there's nothing to forgive because I wasn't mad at you in the first place," he said in a mad tone
"I-... ok," I said as I sighed
"All this sappy stuff makes me sick," he said and I rolled my eyes
"Fine! I'll just never apologise to you ever again" I said as I crossed my arms
"No, I'm going to picture you saying sorry to me for the rest of my life. Y/n L/n saying sorry to ME" he said as he laughed
"SHUT UP KAGEYAMA! God I can't believe I ever felt bad" I said madly and he laughed
"So, what happened with you and Tsukishima?" He asked me eagerly. It caught me really off guard. One moment he was laughing at what I said and the next moment he's asking me a question that made me sick to my stomach with nerves
"I just said something, but I know how to fix it so it will be ok!" I said positively
"Hm, ok," he said suspiciously and I laughed nervously
"I'm surprised with how close you guys have become. I hardly saw you this week" he said and I became even more nervous. Every day me and him have still managed to bump into each other while walking to school and while at the vending machines, just now when we bumped into each other at the vending machines Tsukishima was there. But me and Kageyama still had lunch together every single day. So I was confused on why he said that
"Huh? How?" I asked him
"I meant that I haven't seen much of you alone," he said a bit madly. My mind ran wild with thoughts
Why does he care he hasn't seen me alone?
Maybe he DOES like me
No Y/n don't be so stupid
He just hates Kei
That's all
"God, I wish you and Tsukishima got along," I said as I groaned
"Yeah, never gonna happen," he said as he crossed his arms "has your little Kei been bunked down to Tsukishima?" He said with a smirk and I evil-eyed him
"I want juice," I said as I turned away from him and walked into the supermarket
"But Y/n-" he said as I closed the supermarket door on him he huffed and walked in after me
"You do know we're already late," Kageyama said moodily as I walked up to the juice section
"So then what's the problem if we're even more late," I said as I looked at him with a smile and he rolled his eyes. I picked up a strawberry milk for myself and a chocolate and plain milk for Kageyama I turned around with the milks in my hand and smiled at him "what one do you want?" I asked him
"I don't know," he said with a shrug
"I'll get you both," I said with a laugh "it's practically like we're at the vending machines but it's night time and we're at a shop," I said and he shook his head as he tried not to laugh
"You truly are crazy," he said and I squinted my eyes and shook my head before walking up to the cashier
"I can pay Y/n," Kageyama said as he started searching for his wallet
"No. It's on me" I said and he still kept searching for his wallet "I still owe you, remember?"
"Y/n, that was like years ago," he said as he rolled his eyes
"It was like two weeks ago!" I said and he looked down at me moodily "please, to make up for this week" I said with a smile and he huffed as I paid the cashier
"You guys are such an adorable couple," the cashier said with a laugh and my face went red as Kageyama started laughing
Ouch
"We're not together," he said and I started making puking noises
Ouch
"I'm a ten he's a two at best," I said and Kageyama looked at me with a scowl
"Two hundred you mean," he said as he crossed his arms I was about to reply before the cashier interrupted me
"You're way more than a two hundred," she said with a giggle and I looked at Kageyama with wide eyes as he looked down at me with a scared face
"Uh," he said and I held in a laugh as he started pushing me out of the store
"You really don't know how to talk to girls," I said with a laugh and he kept on shoving me until we reached a street light
"I do so," He said moodily
"Clearly," I said sarcastically
"I just don't want to flirt with someone who's not the girl I like" he and the sadness engulfed me once again. I had to act like it didn't though
"Who is this girl that you like," I said with a whine as I shook Kageyama
"My lips are sealed," he said and I pouted
so stupid y/n
Someone like Kageyama could never like someone like you
Stop having a pity party
"You are so boring," I said and he rolled his eyes
"We're far behind on the project because of you," Kageyama said madly as he drank his chocolate milk
"WHAT? HOW?" I shouted confused
"You keep distracting me every time we're meant to work on it," he said as he crossed his arms
"Uh, no!" I said as I madly drank my milk
"Yep! We have to present it this Thursday and we have like NOTHING" he said as he started to panic
"Don't worry! We'll work really fast from now on to Thursday"
"We're going to have to work on it during morning or after school practice, aren't we?" He said with a frown
"No! I promise I'll focus during lunch and tonight and tomorrow. Also, we don't have NOTHING, we made some progress on it" I said trying not to seem worried
"So no more trying to distract Tsukishima during lunch?" He said and I nodded my head
I finished my milk as Kageyama drank his second one on the way to Tsukishima's house
Tsukishima's pov
It had been an HOUR and a HALF since Kiyoko and Yachi arrived. Kageyama was an HOUR and a HALF late. The team was struggling to say no to Hinata at this point as they all started getting hungry as well. We were all sitting on the couch watching whatever as we tried to ignore the hunger. It was now almost 9pm and we were still waiting to eat
"WHERE IS KAGEYAMA!" said Tanaka frustrated
"I don't know, I've texted him but he's not replying," said Hinata confused as he looked down at his phone
If Y/n was here she would say something like "Omg is he dead? Has he been abducted by aliens"
Something stupid like that
I expected Hinata to say something like that as well since Hinata and Y/n have two brain cells combined but he just laid there barely alive
"That is odd," said Daichi a little worried
"Where is heeee," Tanaka said with a groan
"I'm going to DIE," said Noya dramatically and I just sat there watching them all, trying to hold in a laugh
"Why didn't Y/n come tonight, Tsukishima?" Hinata asked me. The whole team looked at me like they had all been wondering the same. That's the first time someone has brought her up and I didn't know what to say. No way would I tell them about the argument.
"She's sick," I said with a shrug as I looked away from them all
"She seemed fine this morning," Hinata said and I looked at him annoyed
"She had to leave early cause she wasn't feeling well," I said as I crossed my arms. They all exchanged a look with each other and I held in the urge to roll my eyes.
The doorbell went and as unbelievable as it is I THANKED Kageyama. If he didn't arrive right now I would have been questioned even more. The whole team cheered as much as they could but didn't leave their seats so I rolled my eyes and walked to my door.
"You're late," I said annoyed and Kageyama looked at me pissed off as he crossed his arms and straightened up his back
"Well, I said I would be didn't I?" He said and I rolled my eyes. Just then I heard a small tiny familiar giggle and then saw Y/n's familiar messy hair blow out from behind Kageyama
I walked out and shoved Kageyama out the way as Y/n turned to face me surprised. Her eyes were filled with nervousness and guilt as she looked up at me. We were just staring at each other for a few seconds. Maybe minutes. Whenever me and Y/n stare at each other it's like a bubble is created. It's just me and her. I can't hear anything else other than my thoughts and the beating of my heart. I notice how it beats faster and it's so fucking weird. I can't see anything but her. She tore her eyes away from me to look at something behind me. What could she be looking at? She had a pleading look in her eyes. Why? My bubble of me and Y/n popped as I heard someone cough and then Kageyama came and stood beside her. He was standing behind me. He is what she was looking at. He is what she looked away from me for.
"I was late cause I had to go and get Y/n," Kageyama said and I took my attention away from Y/n and faced Kageyama
"Well because of you, we're all hungry," I said as I turned away from them both I could hear them whispering to each other and it took everything in me to not turn back around and give them a scowl. To give Y/n a scowl. I managed to keep walking and make it into my house
Oh fuck no
This night just got 10 times worse
Should I just barricade myself in my room?
No no
Just try and talk to Y/n
I won't admit it to myself but I hate being lonely. And today I felt so lonely. I forgot what life was like without Y/n with me every two seconds. After she left all I did was sit in my cold room and face my plain wall. Something I haven't done in a long time because Y/n is always here. Maybe this argument is for the best. I can't just depend on her like that because she can easily leave me just like she did today. I shouldn't depend on anyone like that because everyone ends up leaving. But even if I wanted to I can't go back to how my life was before Y/n. I need to try and make her forgive me.
I shut my door as Kageyama and Y/n walked into my house. I could hear everyone cheer as they saw Y/n and her voice started booming from wall to wall again. I took a deep breath until I walked back into my living room and took my place on the sofa as the team was surrounding Y/n. I was surprised they forgot about their hunger so fast
"I'm here too you know," Kageyama said as he crossed his arms as he watched everyone freak out about Y/n being there. They ignored him as Y/n talked again
"I feel a lot better now," she said with a nervous laugh "my mom gave me some of her magic soup"
"Y/n I'm so glad you're here!" Hinata said happily and Y/n laughed
"Can we get food now?" Noya said as he looked at everyone
"YOU GUYS WAITED TO GET FOOD?" Y/n said surprised and the team nodded their heads
"Wow," she said shocked and Kageyama started tapping his foot impatiently
"We can all see you Kageyama," Hinata said with an eye roll and Kageyama scowled before he went to sit down
Me and Kageyama made eye contact before I rolled my eyes at him and looked at Y/n again
"What are we getting for food?" Y/n asked as she sat far away from me and beside Kageyama. The team followed after her and sat in the same seats they were in before
"Anything" Hinata said with a groan as his stomach rumbled
"Chinese?" Kiyoko said and they all nodded their heads while I was looking down at my phone. Usually, Y/n would ask me if I wanted Chinese as well. But she didn't this time, she just looked at me awkwardly.
The team was just rambling on about god knows what but Y/n wasn't saying anything at all. I found it strange. For as long as I've known Y/n she has never been quiet for more than 20 minutes, it has now been almost an hour since she last said something. I was trying to decide if I should do something, if I should look up to see if she was okay, if I should leave the room in case she didn't speak because I was there, if I should just ignore it. But my body had already made my mind up for me as my eyes travelled to meet hers. But our eye contact didn't last long as she looked away quickly.
I took a deep breath and stood up from the couch and started walking to the stairs. I thought I could leave without anyone noticing although I had to walk past everyone. Even though I knew it was obvious I was leaving I was still surprised that someone asked where I was going.
"Where are you going Tsukishima?" Suga said as he turned to look at me and the team done the same
"I'm going to go feed shortcake," I said as I continued walking
"Can I come?" Hinata asked excitedly
"No," I said as I walked up the stairs
Y/n's pov
I looked at everyone awkwardly as they all stared at Hinata who had a pout on his face. Tanaka and Noya started laughing and I nudged them to get them to stop
"Why is he being way more of an ass than usual," Hinata said and the team looked at me, my eyes widened in fear of what I was gonna do
"Uh," I said as I looked at Kageyama who was next to me
"What?" he said as he snapped out of his daydream "are we getting food now?" He said confused
"Oh yeah," Asahi said and I was glad they had all moved on
"Who's ordering?" Daichi asked and the team looked at me again
"Haha, no," I said as I crossed my arms
"Well Tsukishima usually orders and he's not here so..." Hinata trailed off as he stared at me
"NO, THAT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE! What if I say something wrong or forget to ask for something? What if I forget to say please and thanks or say please and thanks at the wrong times? What if I can't understand what he's saying or he doesn't understand what I'm saying? What if I talk too fast and all that comes out of my mouth is mush? What if-" I said until Kageyama interrupted me "ok, we get it" he said annoyed
"I'll... I'll just order," Suga said as he looked at me with a shocked face. Everyone else on the team also had a shocked face. Except for Kageyama, he just looked annoyed
"Yeah," I said with a smile as I turned away to face the Tv "what we watching?" I asked
"I don't even know, hunger has overtaken me. It's all I think about" Hinata said as he laid upside down on the couch
"You'll get a headache if you do that Hinata" Daichi said and Hinata groaned in response
The team rushed Suga to call the Chinese place and make an order. After he did we all just laid there waiting for the Chinese to come. Asahi put some Star Wars movie on or something but we all weren't really watching as the hunger just distracted us. I only now just realised that I hadn't eaten anything all day. I felt guilty. I knew it wasn't a relapse because it wasn't intentional but I still felt worried. What if I was accused of relapsing? It's not like anyone's going to notice anyway.
Worry and thoughts overtook me, my face showed it way too well. I was thinking about what could happen if my mom found out until Kageyama leaned closer to me. Somehow that managed to knock me out of my thoughts and also knock the air out of my lungs. I looked at Kageyama and was met with his warm blue eyes that are usually filled with coldness. He looked at me with so much confusion.
"Are you okay?" He whispered. I think this is the second time a guy has ever asked me if I'm okay and both times were from the same guy. I'm pretty sure Tsukishima has asked me if I'm okay before but it's different coming from him because Kei is my friend. When I think about Kageyama asking me if I'm okay I don't know why but it makes me feel so warm inside. I think I started liking Kageyama because he asked me if I was okay. It's such a little and normal thing but it means so much to me.
"Yeah, why?" I asked with a smile and he looked down at me even more confused. He didn't respond for a few seconds his eyes were just examining my face, I could feel my cheeks starting to go red and I thanked the lords that the room was dark so Kageyama wouldn't see.
"You're so strange," he said as he looked away from me and faced the tv again
"Uh... random and rude," I said annoyed and he shook his head as he continued to stare at the tv
I wonder where Kei is
Should I go look for him?
Of course not Y/n
Are you stupid?
I wonder if he's ok
What if he's sad?
Before I could even compose what my body was doing I was up from the sofa and walking towards the stairs but before I could start making my way up them Kageyama somehow appeared in front of me, stopping me in my tracks
"Where are you going?" He asked looking down at me intimidatingly
"Uh... nothing," I said nervously
"Y/n I made you a promise that I wouldn't leave you alone with him," Kageyama said sternly and I crossed my arms as I coward into myself
"But... maybe I don't need your promise anymore," I said without even realising the words coming out of my mouth. I said it without even thinking about it. I saw Kageyama's face change from hurt to confusion to anger to not caring all in the space of three seconds.
"Ok, but remember we have to do the project. You promised me that and I won't be revoking it" he said. I could tell he wanted to say more but he held himself back, I wish he did say more. I wish he shouted at me maybe even call me stupid or something. Anything that hurt more than the hurt, confusion and anger that crossed his face
He stepped out of my way and walked back to the sofa, it felt like it happened in slow motion. Before I could focus on my sadness or any rational thoughts Tsukishima's sad face crossed my mind and it felt like my heart stopped beating. My legs continued moving and made their way to outside his door. I usually never knock on Tsukishima's door, I just barge right in just like I barged in on Tsukishima's life, even though he gave me every mean comment and every mean look I still continued to barge my way into his life. And I dont regret it. But as I was standing outside his door it felt wrong to just barge right in so instead my hand raised, ready to knock on his door, as it was about to touch the wood it stopped as I heard a familiar voice behind me.
"So you came," someone said and I turned around in shock to see Akiteru
"Oh, it's you," I said slightly disappointed and Akiteru laughed
"Hoping it was someone else?" He asked with a knowing look and I started panicking
"What? Uh- no I just didn't know you were here" I said hastily and Akiteru held in a laugh
"Don't worry Y/n, I know you hoped it was Kei" he said and for some weird reason my face went red
"Wait, why are you here?" I said hoping to change the subject
"My girlfriend is doing some bonding things with her host family," Akiteru said with a shrug
"Oh... you should come down and join everyone!" I said happily and Akiteru shook his head
"Kei wouldn't like that," he said and I started feeling nervous because I knew he was right "he also wouldn't like you knocking on his door" I looked at him shocked
"Why?" I asked a little defensively
"Calm down Y/n I wasn't meaning it in a bad way. He just wouldn't like you knocking on his door because you like... dont give him any personal space so it would feel strange for him"
"I GIVE HIM PERSONAL SPACE," I said madly and Akiteru laughed
"You sat outside the bathroom when he was in there because you got lonely and bored," Akiteru said as he crossed his arms
"That was a reasonable thing to do! But... do you think Kei gets annoyed when I do things like that?" I asked nervously and Akiteru stared at me for a few seconds
"No," he said with a straight face "surprisingly not" he shrugged "but maybe NOT sit outside the bathroom while he's in there" he said with a chuckle and I laughed "anyway... I'd give Kei some space. If you go in the now he'll either keep pushing you away because he thinks he's already dug himself into a hole and he's scared to climb out or he'll be too unprepared to talk it through and not say everything he wants to say. But you know best... somehow. Either way, he's listening to music so he won't hear you knock" he said as he laughed when he got to "knock" he started walking away back to his room and I didn't know what to do
I knew Akiteru was right but I couldn't bare the thought of Tsukishima being sad. My heart and body started taking control again as I turned back around to Tsukishima's door but before I could knock my brain stopped me.
I should probably listen to what Akiteru said
he knows Kei better than me
My body reluctantly stepped away from his door and I made my way back to the living room.
He's probably not even sad anyway
He doesn't care about you Y/n
You know this
Tsukishima's POV
The music drummed through my ears and replaced all my feelings. I knew I should stop being a coward and just go downstairs but I didn't want Y/n to feel awkward, which is stupid because SHE chose to come. Probably so she could be with her sweet little Kageyama. What a dickhead he is. What if she doesn't want to be my friend again? What if she's so sick of my bullshit? But what I said wasn't wrong. I don't regret what I said I just regret being so cold to her. I'm keeping her from spending time with Kageyama. She just doesn't want to hurt my feelings by telling me to piss off.
God, she's so stupid
.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .
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