sooyoung was becoming weird.
she kept on being distant, not following her around as much, and leaving heejin on her own.
it made heejin sick to her stomach.
what does she have to do that's more important than me?
what made heejin feel even more sick was the fact that people noticed heejin was alone more. people could tell, and it made heejin less intimidating. people were less scared when she walked into a room, and gave her more looks of pity than she had ever gotten in her life. and she was done with it.
it was 9 in the morning, heejin was waiting for sooyoung to wake up. she had spent the whole night mulling over what she was going to say.
she sat there for thirty minutes waiting to hear anything from sooyoung's room, but nothing happened. until sooyoung walked into the dorm.
sooyoung didn't look like she'd been awake for long, not long enough to have been getting breakfast. she was still in sweats and her hair was matted against the back of her head.
"oh, hi heejin."
"where did you come from, you look like a mess."
sooyoung sighed and took a couple seconds before responding, "i spent the night in the infirmary. i wanted to help jinsol and jungeun."
"that's not true." heejin crossed her arms, trying to seem more confident than she felt in the moment.
since when did she care about them? and she didn't tell me?
that was the wrong move.
sooyoung scoffed, "when the fuck did you learn so much about me that you can tell me where i was and where i wasn't?"
"i never said that," heejin's arms unfolded and she immediately became desperate to maintain her relationship with sooyoung.
"then what was the point of calling me out?"
"i could tell you were lying."
sooyoung's face blanked for a second.
"it doesn't matter if you thought i was lying, i don't owe you an answer."
heejin started twiddling with her fingers. she said the wrong thing. but how does she fix it.
"why don't you talk to me anymore?" heejin almost let the words out with a sob but she focused back on her fingers.
"heejin, do you remember the night of the party?"
nothing came to heejin's mind.
"i actually... don't remember a whole lot."
"you were an asshole that night."
heejin's arm's defaulted back into being folded across her chest. "we're always mean to everyone. so what."
"you were an asshole to me, heejin."
she stood up and started to say something, but sooyoung cut her off.
"you flirted with chuu, got bitchy when she said she didn't want to fuck you, then said i was obsessed with you because i got mad."
heejin's throat went dry. her eyes fixated on sooyoung's furrowed eyebrows and slightly open mouth.
"why did you keep that from me."
"it was you who fucking did it, how was i supposed to know what you remembered?"
tension fell over the room as heejin stepped away from the couch to the middle of the room. anger grew in her stomach with each movement she made.
"tell me why you got upset then. if it wasn't your obsession with me, tell me." she needed answers.
"THAT'S what you're worrying about? i'm standing here, calling you an asshole, and you want to know why i got mad?" sooyoung's arm flung inches from the tv, but went unnoticed by both of the girls.
"it seems important to why you're angry now."
something in sooyoung flipped.
"i don't owe you an explanation, i don't owe you SHIT, you know what i told you at that party? i said you're SELFISH heejin. you're so conceited, you think everything you say is right and that you're better than everyone else."
she took a step closer to heejin and heejin became fearful of the fire in her eyes.
heejin placed her palms on sooyoung's shoulders and shoved, "get AWAY from me!"
sooyoung's feet struggled to catch her as she stumbled back, and she ended up on the ground.
"what the fuck" sooyoung scoffed and slowly rose to her feet.
something flew to the left of sooyoung. heejin smirked as she caught the fear on sooyoung's face.
"you're fucking trying to hurt me now? what the fuck is wrong with you?"
heejin suddenly realized what she had done.
i'm a horrible person
i just wanted to scare her
but it worked. sooyoung picked up a book from the table and pulled back her arm as if to throw it at heejin's head, causing her to cower.
a laugh came from sooyoung, "you're a fucking baby." she dropped the book on the ground and rushed out of the room. her footsteps could be heard as she treaded down the hall.
leave, get away, it'll be easier to forget if you abandon
her body moved before she thought about it too much, and soon enough she was away from all the noises of other people. the cold emptiness of the cafeteria reminded her of her home, which caused another lurch of sobs.
when wiping her eyes, heejin's eyes caught on another head in the room.
was she here the whole time?
"of course you finally stop paying attention to me when i'm a mess."
she didn't expect anything from hyunjin. she needed something to lash out. but instead, hyunjin apologized.
"it felt like you didn't want to talk..."
"did it seem like i wanted to talk before? did i ever seem interested in you?" heejin pushed her palms into her face, "yet you paid attention to me then."
hyunjin put down the food she was holding, "it's not like i wanted to. it's almost like it's out of my control. i'm sorry. i'll leave you alone in the future."
i'm a horrible person
this whole exchange heejin never noticed hyunjin's matching red nose and puffy eyes, not until she reciprocated the attention hyunjin was giving to her.
"no, god, i'm sorry. i'm in a horrible state of mind right now." heejin turned her body to face hyunjin. "what about you? what are you all snotty-nosed for?"
a split second of fear washed over hyunjin's face as she swiped at her nose, before realizing there was nothing there.
hyunjin sighed, "i just ruined another friendship."
a puff of air left heejin's nose. "sounds familiar."
it didn't take long before the both of them opened up about the past day they both had. hyunjin was kind, empathetic, and seemed to truly listen to heejin. it gave her the kind of feeling that churns your insides and warms you to all of your extremities.
"truce?" hyunjin placed her hand in air between them.
heejin searched deep in hyunjin's mahogany eyes for a bad intention she was expecting, but all she noticed was the smirk tugging on hyunjin's pretty lips.
she felt the same smirk lay on her face as heejin grabbed hyunjin's hand. "truce."
a new friend
✰ ☾ ✰
over the past couple days hyeju and chaewon have been spending more time together. it was by default, because hyeju had no friends anymore and chaewon was always interested in hyeju.
but hyeju had stopped complaining.
right now the two of them were lying on the ground in the star room. it had become their frequent place, where the repetition of the stars gave hyeju the same comfort of being squeezed in a closet. chaewon couldn't care less about where they were spending their time.
"do you miss your parents?"
hyeju looked at chaewon, who's blonde hair was taking up an unreasonable amount of space around her head. hyeju had been unsuccessful in getting chaewon to open up, but tonight felt different.
chaewon sighed. "i only have one parent to miss."
hyeju kept quiet, hoping chaewon would continue without being prompted.
chaewon took a breath and continued. she explained the absence of her mother. her mother was the person she thanked for good finances chaewon and her father were in. chaewon loved her mother, but she got emotional when explaining how she was constantly working. when she passed, chaewon barely felt her absence.
"i'm sorry chaewon," hyeju sighed and shifted her weight so she could see the sky, along with more of chaewon's blonde hair.
she watched the way the starlight made chaewon's hair glow. she watched the curves of her fingers as she held a strand in the air, and she watched chaewon's mouth fall slightly open as she took a light breath.
"i want away from it all. or, i wanted. because that's why i agreed to this."
her eyes fluttered shut and she continued, "i don't hate my dad. i never can and i never want to, but i feel i have to take care of him. i want a life without being depended on."
chaewon turned on her side the way hyeju had, and now their noses were a breath away.
hyeju quickly sat up with an idea.
"chaewon," she turned to face her friend on the ground and smirked, "have you ever wanted to dye your hair?"
✰ ☾ ✰