«Katsuki»
"Unbelievable".
"What's unbelievable, you dumb?"
"Can't believe it".
"What the fuck you can't believe?"
"Seriously, unbelievable".
"Spit the fucking beans, you shitty bird!"
Tokoyami snorts, looking at me for a sec and going back to writing on his tablet, apparently annoyed, and tells us; "My Finance's teacher also teaches Law's department, he literally spent a whole fucking hour talking about those two omegas topic of the whole fucking school, and now he made us do an essay related to that fucking gender. I'm fucking done with this".
Yeah, well, I'm starting to get pissed with that topic too.
"What was he saying?" Sero asks, rolling a joint on his bed.
"Just bullshit. That a revolution is coming, that omegas are having a promising future and tons of fucking crap".
"The betas of my class talk about that too" Sero agrees, nodding. "Those two omegas are on everyone's mouth. And I wish it was just because of their ass but doesn't seems like".
"What do they say then?" I ask, trying really, and I mean really fucking hard to keep myself in fucking line.
"I know it's your freckled omega, Bakugo, but.., man, I swear after he sucked me off I haven't even want to even look at him cuz I don't want your mad nape at me again. But.., yeah, not all college knows that yet and many are talking about his skills with his mouth. Cause just as their open their mouths to shut up any alpha, they do it to give plenty of sucks, man".
"You know that, Bakugo" Says Tokoyami. "No mark, no omega, and all the alphas here know that. Even the teachers. Seems like everyone's on the challenge of being the ones marking one of those two".
"But..," Shitty Hair murmurs, stopping fixing some mechanical shit he has on the ground, looking at the black-haired's, "How you know all that?"
"Dude, those two already fucked half university alpha's hoi polloi" Sero snaps, without a fucking bit of tact. "And we're barely halfway through the semester. You can literally ask any pack, and at least two alphas have already fucked one of those two asses. Blessed the one who can get both but I really don't think anyone has such a balls".
We all fell silent, each thinking a different shit.
We've only been in school for half a semester, just over three months. The teachers have fucked us up all here so badly we haven't even had time to breathe.
And just as I haven't had time to fucking anything, I haven't had it to talk to him either.
I hardly ever see him, but I don't think there's a person more invisible to him than me right now. He always goes straight and in a hurry to what he has to do, I've yelled at him halfway across campus and still doesn't give a single shit about me, just keeps walking along with his other slut mate.
I know I can't get close to them, much less on campus. Apparently an omega filed a complaint about a mark within the school facilities, and since it's a crime to mark without consent, the school has been pretending to take care of all the cheap whores.
The school and what they can do to me if one of those two goes with the fucking gossip isn't my damn problem, but something itching my balls a lot lately; I'm pissed as fuck because of the fact Deku looks at me with hate in his damn eyes.
Cuz.., dammit, he has looked at me with absolutely every feeling known, but with hate, he never did before.
And it pisses me off. It fucking upsets me to the guts.
I need to talk to him. I need him to tell me why the fuck he hates me.
No, that's not what I need.
Cause deep down, I already know the answer to that.
I think I just..,
I just want to know what can I do to make it stop.
* * *
"You, Omega!"
"Huh?"
"Yes, you, come here".
"Oh.., eh, sure" He murmurs, putting down his pen and walking from his table to here.
I look from where he was, not taking my eyes off my omega sitting there, pretending not to fucking pay attention to what I'm doing.
"You have a club there or what?" Kirishima asks, laughing mockingly.
"Uh, no, it's just.., uhm, it's good to have your pack around".
"Is that a pack?" Icy-hot snaps, just as mockingly. "Do you even know the definition of pack? Who's your head?"
"Um, Izuku. Izuku Midoriya, is the one right there-"
"We know who he is" I interrupt. "But he's not an alpha".
"We don't need an alpha".
I cock an eyebrow, and all the other bastards try to hide their laugh as well. "Are you telling me that" I speak, notoriously raising my voice "Your pack is made-up with just a couple of sluts?"
"E-excuse me?"
"Aoyama!" Someone yell at him from his table, the Kaminari-guy standing up and saying, "Come on, get back here".
"What's the problem, honey?" Sero snaps, standing up from his place, going to the omega, putting his arm around his waist. "We were just chatting, he doesn't wanna go, right?"
"W-well, I..,"
"Oh! just chatting, huh?" Says the other blonde, jumping from his seat and running over here. "What were you talking about, huh? I can know, right, Kirishima?"
"Eh..," He replies, immediately getting nervous. "Well, we just.., wanted to invite you to.., you know, uh..," Thinks, searching for any shit into his head, "The party! It'll be a party this Saturday at Sero's dorm, you're going, right?"
"I don't know, is the slut's pack invited?"
"Come on, Denki..."
"Let's go, Ao, they're just being annoying" Says to the other omega, getting off Sero's arm and taking him back.
"Kaminari!"
"Fuck you, Kirishima".
Shitty hair lets out a sigh, laying down on his seat, rubbing his face.
"Don't tell me you fell with a fuck" Sero spits, laughing afterwards.
"Shut up".
"Man, for real? With that omega?" And laughs again. "Dude, his more worn out that-"
"I said shut up, fuck!"
Sero then raises his hands in surrender, sitting back on the table "Damn, bro, chill".
Shitty hair says no more, just keeps thinking inside his own head, not really knowing what to do.
I go back to see the omegas table, everyone talking and writing things in their notebooks, while the one who seems to speak is Deku, like explaining something.
He looks so.., sure of himself.
And I.., I can't understand.
What the fuck happened to him?
In middle school he was nothing, an omega that only needed to be declared as such so everyone could speak to him properly. But even before, the whole school knew a hundred percent he'd be the lowest of the low, it was pretty obvious.
However, now seems like he thinks his gender can compete against us. He doesn't just consider himself the same as a beta, he really does seem like in his eyes there's an inner alpha with a heat every month.
What the fuck did that school do to him to look like this?
"Hey Deku!"
He doesn't even flinch. He doesn't even pay attention to me.
"Omega!"
So he sees me.
And rolls his eyes.
"Deku, I'm talking to-"
"What do you want?"
"Go out with me".
"Not interested".
"What do you want? What do you crave? Do you still like that chop rice shit?"
"I don't want anything from you".
"Dammit, Deku, just-"
"He doesn't want anything from you!" The blond snaps, standing up from the table, looking straight at me. "What fucking part of wanting you to leave him the fuck alone doesn't get to your brain?!"
"Who the fuck is talking to you, you slut of shit-"
"Bakugo" A voice stops at my own table. "He doesn't want to talk to you, man, it'll be another time. For now just leave them alone".
I frown, watching at shitty hair saying it so firmly, neither his eyes nor his head ever lowering.
"Control your fucking cock" I spit, sitting back down. "That shit is making you change your fucking brain".
He rolls his eyes at me. He looks away and says "Yeah, whatever".
* * *
"Deku!"
He doesn't change countenance, doesn't stop, doesn't even slow down from walking straight to his building, forcing me to run to catch up with him.
I can't fucking look at him and let him ignore me as if I was a fucking piece of crap. Whatever it takes, but I'll talk to him today. I've already waste too much time.
"Deku, dammit, stop!"
"Leave me alone, Bakugo".
I growl, stopping in my tracks, knowing if I don't plan this right I won't have the chance to settle things with him. He won't listen to me, not like this.
I pull out my phone, watching him keep walking away, never looking back. I find the most recent contact and call, waiting on the rings for him to answer.
"Hey Bakubro, what's up?"
"I need a favor".
"Huh, ok, what's up?"
"Do you have the number of that guy, hm, Kaminari?"
"Bakugo..,"
"I need you to get him out of his dorm, invite him to eat, to fuck, whatever the hell you want, but get him out".
"What for?"
"I need to talk to my omega".
"Bakugo, I don't think that's-"
"I have it under control, Kirishima, dammit. Can you do it or not?"
He sighs. He's silent for a sec, trying to make a decision.
"It's all good, I swear" I say. "If it makes you feel fucking better just tell him to meet him outside his building, buy him something and entertain him for ten minutes, no more. I just want to talk to my omega, ten minutes, shitty hair, I swear that's all".
"If he finds out I'm doing it for you.,"
"He won't find out, damn it, I'll hurry up".
He sighs. He takes his time to think again.
"Ten minutes, got it?"
"Deal. I'll stay outside to wait for him to come out of the building".
"Okay".
"Good. I owe you one, shitty hair".
"You owe me plenty of favors, fucker".
I laugh "Stop whining, pussy".
"Mh.., ok, ten minutes, you hear? And.., shit, Bakugo, don't do something stupid, man..."
"I won't, I swear".
"I'm serious, Bakugo".
"I said yes, fuck! Have I broken a fucking promise?"
"Well.., no..."
"There it is, do it then, I have no fucking time to waste".
"Ok, I'll see you in two outside the building".
"Mhm. Bye".
"Bye" Says, and so we hang up.
I wait out here for shitty hair to do the thing. After a while he sends a message, apparently they're going out for a milkshake or some sappy shit, so I just stay here looking for the time the blond bastard walks out the doors of his building, walking while answering messages on his phone.
I wait a few more secs for him to leave, and then immediately head for the elevator, avoiding the building caretaker who's distracted by some shit.
I mark Deku's floor, going up quickly. The doors open, I get out of there and without thinking, I knock lightly on his door.
"What'ya forgot, you moron?!" He yells from inside, walking over and opening it without thinking. "I told you you don't need more money, Kam-"
Of course he stops talking.
He sighs. Hard, prolonged, even tired.
"You again, God" Mutters, shaking his head, incredulous. "What do you want now, Bakugo?"
"I wanna talk to you".
"Uh, I didn't know you could do that".
"For the love of God, Dek- ah, you know what?" I chill. Or try to. "Ok, that's it, we started off on the wrong foot, I know, I just... I just want us to be okay, yea? That's all, I just... I just don't want us to be bad and-"
He laughs.
He fucking laughs.
"What the hell are you laughing at?"
"What?" Says between his fucking laugh. "I mean, I don't know if you know it but.., normal people laugh when they think something's funny. And what you just did.., I mean, what you said was.., damn, hilarious".
"Well, it wasn't a fucking joke".
"It wasn't?"
"No, you piece of-! Agh, fuck, Deku, can you just let me in?"
"Mh, nope".
"You're being a fucking brat".
"And you're being a fucking creep".
I open my mouth, but only a sigh ends up coming out.
I don't know what to do.
I'm a fucking alpha, and a dominant one... and a fucking omega makes me not knowing what the fuck to do.
Unbelievable.
"Ok well bye-".
"No" I cut, stopping the door from being closed. "Just.., one chance, Deku. Just one, okay?"
"I don't want to-"
"Please".
He paralyzes.
"Huh?"
"I said please" I repeat, loud, clear, hard, and without hesitation.
He deeply frowns, his eyes seem to have seen a pure ghost.
"Please, Deku, I won't fucking repeat that word. Let me in, I just want to settle up with you, I swear on my own mother that's all I want".
He stays one more sec thinking on the silence, it really seems there's a war inside his own brain.
So I wait as long as it takes him to make a decision. He wiggles his fingers, his toes, looks at the ground; he does so many things that remind me of the nervous old Deku that I just can't rush him into deciding to tell me to fuck off or not.
So.., he sighs.
He sighs, and takes a step back.
"Come in".
I don't say anything, just do as he says, taking a few steps ahead and going to the small sofa he has here.
But then as soon as I sit down, something seems to hit me in the face with the force to fucking knock me out.
God, it smells like him.
It reeks so fucking good like him.
"Hey!" He snaps, slapping my hand afterwards.
"The fuck, Deku?"
"Don't touch!"
"Huh?"
"Don't touch my fucking things!"
I frown, and then I just realize what I just did.
I wanted to take a cushion and put my fucking nose there.
"It's just.., I mean, it smells like you".
"I know it smells like me, I live here, idiot".
"Can I take it?"
"What?!" Snaps, as if I offended him to death "Of course not, you fucking stalker!"
"What if I pay you for it?"
"I'll fucking kick you out, Bakugo, I swear it".
"Okay!" I snap, throwing my hands up in the air in complete harmlessness. "Here it is, it'll stays here".
"Mh..," Mutters, looking at me, but not knowing what else to do, or say.
We both fell silent, me staring at the ground, my mind completely blank.
I really don't know how to start talking to him.
I.., I don't know exactly what to say...
I don't know what I want from him, I don't know why I need him, I don't know why.., why I want so bad to be okay with him.
"Are you gonna talk or what, Bakugo? Do you think I have all fucking night or-"
"I don't know what to say".
"Huh?"
"I don't know what to say" I repeat, looking straight at him. "I have no fucking clue of what to tell you".
He stares at me.
"You're fucking kidding, right?"
"No, Deku, I'm serious, I don't know what the hell to say to you".
He sighs. He sighs so big and so heavy that I feel like I'm completely wearing out his patience.
"So.., I.., I don't know, hm.., why the fuck are you here, you bastard?!"
"Cuz I wanted to talk to you".
"Talk about what if you don't know what to fucking say?!"
"I don't want to tell you anything. I just want to talk with you".
He sighs again. He takes his face, frustrated, tired, annoyed at me and my presence.
"Ok..," Breathes. "What do you want me to talk to you about?"
"Why you went to that school" I say, as if it were completely automatic.
He removes his hand from his face, face totally confused. "What do you mean by why?"
"Yes" I say; "Why you left if you had everything here?"
He snorts in supposed amusement, cuz there's no humor in his face at all. "Shit, yeah, I had everything here, of course" Nods, incredulous. "I had a shitty life, a fucking gender I hated and an aggressor: you. So.., shit, yeah, why the fuck I left?"
"And you gonna tell me in that shitty school you did better than here?"
"No" Says immediately, shaking his head. "It wasn't better, of course not. But it made me see things I wouldn't have been able to see if I stayed here".
"Oh yeah? Like what?"
"Like I was a fucking stupid for lowering you my head every day of my life".
"You're an omega, what's wrong with lowering your head?"
He makes another fucking sound of amusement, my brow furrows, what the fuck does he find funny?
"I don't have to lower my head just because I'm an omega, Bakugo. I'm a human being".
"That's how humans behave".
"No, that's how you alphas want us to behave".
"Deku, that's how the world works, it's hierarchy, it's nature, it's anatomy. I'm stronger than you for a reason, I have bigger claws for a reason, I have pheromones and a voice for a fucking reason, why the fuck do you want to change something that's natural?"
"That's not nature, Bakugo" Says, so calm and firm that, to be honest, surprises me a little. "That is imposition. Your claws, your voice, your fangs, even your rut, all of it, was given to you to provide your pack, so the strongers have a natural task, a protection, a bond with their equals. Nothing you have now was given for you to denigrate, mistreat or abuse those who don't have the same abilities as you".
»"Protect is not dominate, Bakugo. Nature gave you your second gender to be able to provide, not so you can spend all your skills hurting other human beings".
I stay silent, looking at him, thinking about everything he just said.
And it just.., doesn't makes sense for me.
"In that case you were made to reproduce. That's what your heat is for, Deku".
"No" Says immediately, shaking his head, still calm and serene, as if he totally knows what he's talking about. "My heat was given as a need of the weakest to look for someone strong to bond with, so they can give them everything at first they couldn't get by themselves as long as they were bonded by something as vague as a sexual mate".
»"But all that later changed, Bakugo. The stereotypes, the insecurities, the anger, the dominance.., everything turned us into being seen as a property. It made us believe we were dependent, that we needed an alpha to live".
»"And it's not like that. Now I know it. I know I don't need you or any other alpha to provide me. I know that being physically smaller than you is not synonymous of being weaker, and.., and it took me some time to know it, learn it, and.., make myself believe it. But I know it now for sure".
I look into his eyes. I don't take my eyes off for a single second, looking for the slightest sign of doubt in just one of his eyes.
But.., there isn't any.
It's as if.., that was his absolute truth. As if he trust in absolutely nothing more than what he now knows.
"What the hell did they do to you in that school, Deku?"
His eyes stay on mine, but not for long enough.
Because he lowers his head, and not out of shame, neither to him nor to me, but.., towards the world itself.
"That school, Bakugo.., was a training to enter hell".
I take a moment. It's hard for me to stop my head from thinking about every single possibility of what could have happened there.
"What did they do to you?"
He snorts, he tightly smiles, but only to know how long he endured right there.
"What they didn't do to me would've been easier to answer".
"What the hell does that mean?"
He sighs, sees his hands, plays with his fingers, wiggles his toes, occasionally scratches his head, all of it while thinking what in all the hell is easier to say.
"You don't need to know what happened there, Bakugo" Murmurs, finally, with slow marked steps, going in the direction of the door. "I just hope it helps you to know it was ten times worse than what I went through with you".
My heart begins to burn.
My heart looks at him, there, broken, as if he were glued with some cheap glue, knowing he's complete, strong, functional and stable but...
But he's not healed.
I know that, I know him, I've known him longer than I know myself.
He's not okay.
And I know he wouldn't be better with me, but...
I refuse so bad to see him like this.
"I don't wanna talk anymore, Bakugo, it's better if you go now".
"I don't wanna go, Deku".
"Bakugo, seriously, I.., I don't have the strength to fight you anymore, please.., just go".
He reaches the door, and as soon as he grabs the handle, I run to him, closing the wood and standing in front of him, eyes meeting his below, all dead, the light that someday when we were brats was is no longer there, and I haven't been able to see it again for many, many years.
"Get out" He orders. "I don't want you here".
"I don't wanna go looking at you like this".
"How?!" Snaps, his eyes moist, knowing he's holding himself not to burst into tears like he has done for so many years. "Broken?! Shattered?! With no fucking life?! That's how I am, Bakugo! That's how you fucking left me many years ago!"
"I never wanted to break you, Deku! I just wanted you to be mine, dammit!"
"Exactly! You just wanted me to be yours! You were just hoping I was a fucking thing you could bill in your name, weren't you?! A fucking toy you could put together and take apart when you fucking want!"
"You're saying bullshit, Deku, that's not it!"
"You're just contradicting yourself, you idiot! You wanted me to be your fucking omega, right?!"
"Of course!"
"And what is an omega?!"
"It's someone destined to be with an alpha! And that was always me!"
"Oh yeah?! Who says it?!"
"Well, me, you idiot!"
"And what I say doesn't fucking matters or what?!"
"You do what you're told, you act as you're said and you speak what I fucking order! That's how it worked, that's how you were okay with and that's what you dealt with every fucking day back then, Deku, why the hell are you having such a hard time accepting it?!"
"Cause I never wanted you!!" Yells. He yells at me so loud it makes my own inner alpha small. "Do you think I liked being fucking beaten?! To be grabbed by the hair and be thrown like a fucking scum to the ground?! Do you think it felt fucking good to get your fucking kicks in my stomach every fucking day?! Are you fucking stupid?"
"I was a fifteen-year-old alpha, Deku, that's how I was supposed to act".
"You weren't even a fucking alpha back then, you idiot! You've been acting like that since you were fucking six!"
"That was the real world, Deku. That's the world you lived in and keep doing so. Stop being a fucking pussy and take it the fuck up".
His chest rises and falls, I know he's furious, pissed, almost rabid. I even feel his fucking desire to rip my fucking head off and end this fucking discussion right here and right now.
"I don't want to talk to you anymore. Get out of my home".
"I'm not going".
"I said get out!"
"And I said no".
His breathing is now more heavier than it was a minute ago, looking at me with so much hate there can be in his entire body and being.
"What do you want from me, Bakugo?"
"I want you to be mine".
"You wanna fuck?" Blurts out, his voice harsh, as if he had already found a fucking solution to get him out of one of his hells. "Okay" Says, and in the next second, his shirt were already completely off his body.
"What are you doing?"
"We gonna fuck so you leave me the fuck alone. After you've come, I don't want to know anything else from you".
What?
"You wanna play the fucking alpha that can get everything you want, don't you? Well, you have it now, take off your fucking cock and get to work, I don't have time to waste. Move".
"Deku, wait-"
"No, I'm fucking done with you, and trust me, if I have to let you in my ass so you can get off of my fucking life, then I'll do whatever it takes. At this point, trust me, one more fuck will make absolutely no difference in my life".
I see him unbutton his pants, I see him take them off, I see him walk to the nightstand near his bed, get lube and protection, and come back to me.
And I'm.., I'm standing here by the fucking door not knowing how the fuck to stop this shit.
"What? Are you that useless? Hm!" Does, takes my arm and pulls me to the couch, throwing me there with a shove, rides me and then moves his ass on top of my cock. "Don't tell me you're not getting hard, Bakugo, don't be so fucking mediocre".
"Deku, wait, I don't..,"
"You don't what?"
"I don't want to".
"What the fuck do you mean you don't want to?"
"Not like this. I won't fuck with you this way".
And then.., he laughs.
He bursts out laughing, and looks at me, as if I just said the biggest bullshit in the entire world.
"You're kidding me, aren't you?"
"I'm not".
"No, really, you must be fucking kidding me" Affirms, his chest beginning to rise and fall again in pure desperation.
"No, Deku, I.., I can't, not like this. Not with you".
He sees me. He looks at me, directly, without missing my eyes a single second, much less lowering his head.
And so, his eyes fill with tears.
"Yeah, I get it now".
I frown, confused. "What?"
And he lets out a laugh. A laugh, along with a tear running down his entire face.
My heart feels something.
Like... that feeling you get when you think something bad is about to happen.
Like when a car is about to crush you. Or a bullet to be shot. Or a lightning to fall.
That's how I feel right now, watching him laugh and cry.
"You want me to yell at you to leave me, don't you?"
My heart races.
I know what's next.
"Deku..,"
"You want me to run, to beg you to let me go, to fight for my life so your fucking cock can get hard, isn't fucking it?"
"Deku, listen to me-"
"Is that what you're waiting for?! To beg you until I'm fucking unconscious so you can stop touching me?! Cause that's what you did that day in midle school, you fucker! You rap-"
"I got into rut, Deku".
His breath hitches, his eyes fill with yet more tears as confusion paints across his face.
"W-what?"
"The day I.., I touched you without your consent.., I got into my first rut".
He looks me straight in the eye, in a silence so tense and hurting I feel it could make my ears bleed.
"You're lying".
"No" I answer, shaking my head, without losing sight of his eyes so he can fully see I'm telling the whole truth. "I know sometimes I overdid it with you, but it was the only way I knew how to act, and you yourself saw how those days I was more aggressive than usual. I knew my rut would appear soon and, well, it was that day. I don't quite remember what I did to you, but.., I know it was wrong. It's been on my conscience ever since, and all this time you just never let me tell you I came up as an alfa that day".
More silence.
A silence that seems to be charging me all these years I didn't really have the balls to apologize.
So far... I still don't have them.
"You didn't penetrate".
I clench my fists, my eyebrows meeting at a midpoint, my eyes never leaving his.
"I didn't?"
Shakes his head. "I don't think so..." Whispers.
His head moves, looking a point in the middle of nowhere, while tears run down his face without even asking for it, the simple memory of that day making him almost completely lose his reason, even though he keeps talking.
"You were just sniffing my neck and kept asking why the fuck I didn't smell to anything" Murmurs, "And I kept telling you I still hadn't came up yet. You bit me too, but it didn't work".
"So..," I murmur, what a shitty voice I have. "What did I do to you?"
"I just remember feeling your fingers inside and the bite on my nape, then I passed out. I guess after that your first wave ended and you took me home".
"Yeah, I..," I say, nodding. "I remember I saw you lying half naked and.., I got scared, I thought I..."
"Yeah, me too" Whispers, looking to a different spot. "My mom told me you took me home and without saying a word you ran away. When I woke up I checked myself and.., I didn't have anything wrong with my entrance so.., all this time I assumed you had some compassion for me".
"I shouldn't even have locked you in that classroom in the first place" I say, or rather, my mouth speaks for itself. "It wasn't compassion, inside of me I knew I couldn't do that to my omega".
A little more silence.
He keeps looking at nothing.
And I can't stop looking at him.
No matter how long it takes, I know I want him, no one else but him.
"I'm sorry, Deku".
"Mh?" Does, like just coming back from the off-planet trip.
I huff, watching his eyes slowly focus on me, confused, as if he hadn't heard what I said at all.
I know this is my chance to tell him I haven't said anything.
But.., the fact he didn't listened to it.., doesn't make me happier.
On the contrary, it lets me know I don't need absolutely nothing more than him hearing those words from me.
So, I take his face, this face I've dreamed so much to touch like this, I look at those emerald orbits with which I've been in love since I can remember, and clearly and concisely, tell him; "Please, forgive me".
"What for exactly?" Whispers. So, so low that the fear of his voice almost touch my skin.
"For eveything".
His eyes fill with tears once again, and one of them runs down his cheek and collides with my own hand.
It lets me know right away my inner alpha doesn't like to watch him cry. He doesn't like to see his tears, doesn't like to see him sad, hates with all his fucking might that his omega looks this bad.
"Forgive me for making you think I hated you..." I murmur, caressing his skin, feeling its softness, "I'm sorry I made you feel sad, I'm sorry I made you leave my side for so long, I'm sorry I..." I stop, I clear my throat, it's so fucking hard to talk with fucking security right now; "I'm so sorry I made you hate me...".
A sob comes out from the bottom of his throat, trying with his arm to cover his face from me, the tears falling one by one on my own hands still holding his cheeks.
And then.., he lets it all out. Absolutely everything. The room is flooded with tons of his pheromones of distress, angst, anxiety.
By pure inertia I put his face on my neck, releasing my own relaxing and comforting scent, absolutely all the pheromones I have for him, for my omega, for the piece of my heart that I just haven't been able to take care and provide the way he wants.
"Deku" I murmur, in a soft voice, trying not to startle him, "Tell me.., tell me what I have to do to make you mine".
It takes him a few to drain everything, to continue expelling everything he surely kept for years, forbidden from thinking, from looking for an answer or completely refusing to want to know one.
But.., when he gives me one, my heart completely loses its color.
He shakes his head, slow, calm, but completely firm.
"Don't tell me no, Deku, I.., I beg you not to tell me no..."
And he denies again.
My heart shrinks, cracks, feels an emptiness it hasn't felt since the day I was told he left home.
"I can't" Whispers. He barely whispers. "I can't, Bakugo. I can't be yours".
"Deku-"
"Not like this" Whispers again, sinking deeper into my neck, sniffing as much as he can, snuggling here, into my skin, close to me. "Not until you're clear I'm not an object, nor a property. Not until you understand I will never in life prefer you above myself, not until you change your idea of thinking you can't treat me as your equal, and not until you accept me as a human being first, and not as an omega".
My inner alpha yells, shouts so loud inside my head to say yes, to promise and swear to him I will do absolutely anything he asks.
But my heart and mind spinning like crazy are telling me I'm not cut out to do all that.
"Deku, I-"
"If you can't do all that, then know this is the last time I want to see you".
Everything inside me stops.
"What?"
"You can leave knowing you have my forgiveness, that I will forget all the bad you did to me one day, but that I don't want to have any contact with someone who degrades me as a person, who can make me suffer emotionally and maybe physically too, nor with someone who doesn't treat me with the respect I deserve".
»"If you can't give me that, then this is the end".
My heart starts pumping in a fast rhythm, my brain's gonna go fucking crazy, everything inside of me screams, yells and shouts not to let him go one more time.
"I'll do it".
So, his hands touches my skin, helping himself to pull apart from me, sit up straight, and look me in the eye to ask;
"You will?"
I take a couple of breaths, I cherish every single inch of his face and, swearing it with my own life, I affirm; "I'll do everything you ask me, and change as much as you think it's necessary to change".
»"I swear I'll be everything you want me to be".
5,900 words.