Izzy knew he had to step in if he was going to save their band from self implosion. Their manager went to "speak" with Axl then Slash but nobody told him what the argument was about, or why everyone was such in a pissy rotten mood so his berating of the guys did little to resolve anything.
Once Izzy sorted out Axl, knowing Slash would come around on his own, that left the crew on the bus to deal with. Most were chill guys, loyal, and hardworking, they'd keep their mouths shut for the right incentive or simply by being asked nicely.
He'd let Steven handle that part. Poor Duff was currently drinking out the mini fridge of their complimentary small liquor bottles. Once those small plastic bottles were done, and had in his grasp a bottle of vodka. His plan was to drink into oblivion. Izzy felt for the guy. What a shitty way for this to all come out.
Fucking Axl and his big fucking mouth. Izzy knew he had to talk sense into his best friend. For all their sakes and the future of their band. Their fucking album just debut and although sales were slow, they really just begun. This was their FIRST official tour and already it had gone down the shitter in a matter of only a few fucking weeks!
Axl didn't immediately answer the door after Izzy knocked a few times.
"Axl it's Izzy open the fucking door man. We gotta talk!"
Friends since their early Indiana days, Izzy knew Axl better than anyone, where he came from, what shit he dealt with, and went through. Religious trauma, family trauma, arrests from overzealous asshole cops, never quite fitting in, the anger, mixed with some good times during their first band days. Axl now had a control freak streak inside him along with a demon of pure rage and agony that'd rear itself during stressful times. But sometimes, Axl was a fucking asshole and needed to be put in place.
Finally the door opened. Axl was looking downward, almost contrite. There was also a nice bruise swelling on his cheek. Courtesy of one enraged Slash.
Izzy let himself in.
"Look Izzy I know what you're gonna say but it's those two FUCKING FAULT. Shit what the fuck were they thinking hooking up? They're not gay! They love fucking chicks, Duff has a girl back home, what the fuck?!"
So he was still very hung up about the why? Sometimes he got like that. Almost obsessive over details in such an intense manner. It was just one of the many odd things about Axl.
"Drop it Axl, the problem isn't them hooking up, it's you exposing the band like that! To the crew! The bus driver! Shit all we need is bad press and that's ON YOU! Not them. They've manage to keep it under wraps until this afternoon on the bus where you lost your shit because...why they're fucking and that bothers you? It's their business not yours!"
Honestly he could never really figure out what would trigger Axl into one of his foul moods, or rampages. Sure he'd see a certain gleam in Axl's eye, or a particular expression that was a warning sign but often it seemingly came out of nowhere, at least to him, and others. Only Axl knew what set him off and he was unlikely to ever share.
"You're mad at me? They're the ones threatening the band with their antics! They're acting selfish putting themselves above the goddamn band! The band comes first! They're putting the band at risk!"
"And that should have been discussed by US in private! Not on the fucking bus!" Izzy really wanted to throttle Axl about now.
Axl kicked the wall, swore up a storm before plopping down on the bed with a long drawn out sigh.
"....I know I should have handled it better on the bus. I just saw them...and it pissed me off. Like they don't understand or cared what their actions meant for everyone! For me! I told Slash they had to split up, or one or both had to leave the band."
Oh that would set off Slash. No wonder he flew into a fury like that ready to pummel Axl in.
"Fuck Axl, that's so fucked up! That's NOT your decision to make! Shit man! Fuck!"
"What they're doing is FUCKED UP!" Axl was sudden back up and more agitated then before.
Izzy muttered under his breath, this was going well swell!
"So that makes it okay for what you said to Slash and the way you fucking behaved? No! You publicly outed them, gave Slash a horrible ultimatum without consulting me or Steven! You talk about protecting the band but really Axl? Who are you really protecting huh? You act like they personally slighted YOU! When that has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU but that rubs you the wrong way doesn't it? This band, you think it's yours don't you? We're just along for the ride huh? Is that it? You know what Axl, it's not them that'll ruin the band, it's fucking you!"
"Get the fuck out Izzy!"
"No way man not until I get this through your thick skull, you're in the wrong here. It's YOU that's affecting the band, putting the band at risk! Not their little affair. You need to grow the fuck up and get over yourself Axl. I love you man, you know that but you were way out of line today. Completely out of line. By tomorrow if you don't apologize, it's not them you should be worried about, it's me. Got it?"
That was a slap to the face for Axl. He was stunned. Speechless.
"If you really want to protect the band, you start by protecting your band mates, the guys who paid in blood and sweat for this band. Slash and Duff always had your back no matter what, no matter the shit you put them through. Shit Slash let you live at his mom's house! If we can all collectively decide to accept you as you are, you sure as fuck as accept your two band mates are in a relationship."
He left after that feeling there was nothing more to be said.
Izzy found Duff nearly incoherent on the floor, with a half empty vodka bottle. So he hoisted the taller blonde and half dragged him to the bathroom where he could piss or vomit when the need arose.
"I spoke to Axl, we'll get things sorted okay Duff? You just hang in there man."
Duff was beyond hearing, completely plastered. Izzy was worried he'd suffer alcohol poisoning so he had the guy down a couple of glasses of water really quick and soon Duff's head was in the toilet throwing up everything.
While he'd been clean from heroin some months now, he sure fucking missed the sweet bliss it would provide in moments like this. Instead he drank some whiskey he had stashed that Duff had not drank. Sipped it over ice from the mini fridge while he sat, back leaning against the wall just outside the bathroom door carefully watching over a still puking Duff. Finally, he wiped his mouth, and laid down on the linoleum floor. Izzy got him some pills and water.
"You'll thank me tomorrow," he pressed the cup of water to Duff with a few sedatives.
He popped a couple himself and settled in for the night. Hopefully Steven got Slash to calm down.
Slash wanted to march over to Axl's room as soon as they got into the hotel to beat the living shit out of their lead singer but Steven managed to corral him into their room and keep him there.
"That fucker had no right to threaten us! He told me either Duff or I had to leave the band but he fucking TOLD ME HE WANTED DUFF GONE! That's fucked up!"
"Yeah that is man," Steven nodded along.
"And then...now the whole fucking bus heard, man the crew knows too! We're fucked! All because he had to be in control huh? Nobody knew and nobody had to fucking know until we wanted everyone or anyone to know! You didn't know did you?"
Steven shook his head, "No clue man. Just thought you're real tight is all."
He poured the irate Slash another whiskey over ice, "Look we'll get it figured out. Izzy told me he'll speak to Axl, he knows him longer than any of us...but fuck man he was so out of line today. Honestly I'm not surprised I swear he hates my guts because I don't tiptoe around his bullshit like you all do, even Izzy. So for me it makes sense he'd flip out once he learned. I'm kinda surprised too, I mean you both dig chicks don't you?"
"I mean yeah, I still do! But..." he smiled softly thinking about the way Duff made him feel.
"Ooh shit you're in love!"
Steven had a light bulb moment. Sure it made NO fucking sense to him, chicks, women with big tits, nice juicy asses, tasty pussies were all that he would ever need. Being gay seemed really harsh especially in this current climate with AIDS and all. Why would someone want to be with the same sex he couldn't understand but he knew love. So if it was love, he could be behind that.
Slash groaned and lowered his head, hiding behind this thick curls as he was oft to do when he felt embarrassed, shy, or anxious. What made it extra cruel in Steven's eyes was Axl putting Slash into that horrible spot. Bastard couldn't have waited until they got to the hotel? Probably wanted to humiliate him. Axl was real sick, and everyone around him seemed to ignore it or tolerate it. Which is why Axl felt like he could do and say whatever he wanted.
"Look I love you, I love Duff, if you two make each other happy, I'm happy for you!" Steven smiled and tried to get Slash out of his shell.
"I dunno what I feel but...yeah Duff makes me happy, I like being with him..." Slash confessed.
"Cheers to that! Look I'll take care of the crew. They're good guys, we just gotta make sure we keep to their good side yeah? Now we know, we can look out for each other okay?"
Steven hugged Slash, kissed him on the top of the head before decided he really wanted a long hot shower.
Duff was completely stone cold out for the entire morning only rousing when Izzy tempted him with whiskey and coffee. That morning, Axl made an appearance he wanted to apologize to Duff first but the guy was still completely knocked out from last night so he went to face Slash.
Steven wanted to mediate between the two but Slash sent Steven out to deal with the crew members which surprising none really had much idea of what exactly was said. The whole line about fucking Duff wasn't thankfully taken literally except for Slash's tech, James, and one guy named Nathan who tended to work closely with Axl since they began the tour a month ago.
He easily spun something up the others accepted and thankfully James and Nathan were understanding enough to keep quiet for the sake of the band and their jobs. When cornered by management, Steven again lied and said it was just some personal drama between the two that would resolve itself over time, just let it be.
Their tour manager didn't give a fuck as long as they performed well and on time. And hopefully the band reconciled long enough to earn Geffin back the money they spent on the band.
Axl barely could look Slash in the eyes. "Look man things got out of hand yesterday, what I said.."
"What you said was fucking evil man! Saying I had to choose between the band or Duff? Or us splitting? That's so fucked up man!"
"I just don't understand why you two are even together in the fucking first place! You're straight aren't you?!"
"Well maybe we're not as straight as we liked to believe man! I DON'T EVEN KNOW MYSELF! FUCK!"
"Are you two in love?" Axl finally asked after some tense moments of silence.
"Maybe? I don't know but the idea of leaving him or the band makes me fucking sick! How could you even demand that of us? Don't you care about us at all?"
"I...I just this band, Guns n Roses is all I have. I have nothing outside of it. You have family, Duff has family, for me, even for Izzy this is it. What we've built together...I can't just let anything risk this. For me."
Well he was being honest, Slash could tell because well when wasn't he being honest? Sometimes it just didn't make a lot of sense to him how Axl viewed the world.
"We built this band Axl, somehow we all came together and made something out of nothing. Five guys, all with a huge ton of fucking baggage, we all paid our dues with blood, sweat, and tears man. You don't think Duff and I know the risk we're putting everything in...but we can't lie to ourselves either. I've had so many girls but none make me feel the way Duff does. I can't let that go either Axl."
"Okay...I think I understand now."
Steven walked into to find Axl and Slash hugging and crying each other arms. So he carefully stepped back out the door and over to Izzy and Duff's room.
He found a pale, puffy eyed Duff holding a cup of coffee with whiskey.
"I have good news! Slash and Axl made up, we're gonna survive another day!"
Izzy was on the balcony smoking and came in as soon as he heard Steven enter the room, a cigarette dangling between his fingers. He sighed in relief.
"Thank fucking Christ!" He took a long drag.
Duff sniffled on the bed. He was feeling really shitty but at least that was something positive.
"I'm still fucking pissed off at Axl," Duff finally spoke.
"Fair." Steven shrugged.
Sure enough Axl came around again to see if Duff was up and willing to talk. Izzy and Steven left the room.
Axl was selfishly relieved to learn Axl nor Izzy told Duff what he had told Slash, his ultimatum. That would have really would have made things far worse so he decided not to even mention it, hoping the others would see the wisdom in that as well. Duff really didn't need to know. It was in the past now anyways. If Slash could move past it, then it was best left between them, er and well Izzy.
"Yesterday... what exactly did you say to Slash."
Oh. Shit.
Axl sighed, "I told him he needs to break it off between you two, or one of you would have to quit the band." That was all he was gonna say.
Duff sucked in his breath, his fingers gripping the bedsheets until his knuckles were white. Fucking hell no wonder Slash lost it.
"Fuck Axl! No wonder he decked you. You really think this is a deal breaker for the band? Do you still feel that way....because if one of us had to go, I'll go. Slash is too talented to just walk away, I'm just a bass player..."
Oh fuck Axl really felt like a villain.
"No no...I don't not anymore. I..." was mad you two hid this from me, that I care more about this band and myself than allowing you two and your gay trysts to ruin the band! Anything he said sounded terrible even if it was the truth.
"got carried away thinking about how it'll impact the band, over what it meant for both of you, but I see now, that I was wrong. We're a band, all of us together and that means we protect and watch out for each other. I lost sight of that. I'm sorry, I was just thinking about myself."
Duff seemed to accept that answer and believe him, Axl was relieved. And soon the big guy was squeezing him in a huge hug after Axl further apologized. Maybe Izzy was right, they just needed to communicate more openly. Axl always believed he was honest but now, he wasn't so sure.
A little worse for wear, Guns n Roses made it to rehearsals on time, and nobody was at each other's throats. Their tour manager was delighted.
Slash snuck a moment in between rehearsals to drag Duff into a private little room backstage.
"Oh baby I'm sorry," he pulled Duff down for a kiss but Dull brushed him off.
"Slash...what if it's best we just remain friends? We've already made a fucking mess of things. I know Axl isn't really okay with this even though he says so. He's not all wrong, if the media finds out, the fans, the label...we're doomed, and I don't wanna be the cause of the bands downfall do you?"
Slash was stunned. No fucking way was he gonna lose Duff.
"...We don't Duff baby, and besides, I can't let you go that easily, I think I'm in love with you Duff McKagan."
Duff's green eyes widen in surprise, did he really just say that?
"Do you mean it?"
Slash smiled, wrapping his arms around Duff's shoulders, "Yeah baby I do."
Tears filled Duff's eyes, "Okay...I love you too Slash."
"We'll make it work okay? The guys will have our backs, yeah even Axl, he can be a real pain in the ass but I know he cares about us too in his own way."
"Hey Slash?"
"Yeah Duff?"
"Let's have some fun before we go back out yeah?"
Slash smirked, "Horny bastard!"
Steven went looking for them but Izzy told him to leave them be for the moment. They needed some time alone. It was a really rocky terrible 24 hours.
Axl was sulking still. Izzy brought him a Coke, "We'll be okay Axl, we're fucking Guns n Roses we've survived worse."
How right and how wrong he was.