With sirens blazing and the outside world a blur, we sped towards the hospital. All I could think about was Javi. When I heard those words that he was hurt, my heart sank. It only got worse when they said he was in critical condition.
"Don't worry girls, we're almost there", Remmy said.
Grace and I sat in the back seats, holding hands and we prayed silently for him.
This doesn't seem real. This was my worst fear.
I knew what he did was dangerous but for it to happen now, so early on, I wasn't ready for it. I don't think I could have ever been ready.
"We're here", Remmy said.
As soon as the car stopped Grace and I jumped out the car, running into the hospital with Remmy close behind us.
We all ran to the front desk.
"Javier Hernandez...he was sent here...", I quickly said.
The nurse looked him up.
"Can we see him", Grace asked.
"Yes, is he okay", I asked.
The nurse looked at us.
"He's in surgery right now. I'm afraid you won't be able to see him for a while."
"How is his condition", Remmy asked.
"Internal bleeding. He had to have an emergency operation, I can't tell you how long that will be, I'm sorry."
"It's okay. Thank you. Come on girls, let's sit down", Remmy said.
With her arms on our shoulders, she walked us over to the waiting area to sit.
"Internal bleeding, that's like...really bad...right", Grace said.
"I heard it was a stab wound to the abdomen. It makes sense for there to be internal bleeding. An organ could have been punctured, a vein cut, it's a serious injury", she explained.
"Oh my gosh", Grace said.
"Don't worry. Even though I don't know him that well, I can tell he is a fighter. Modern medicine is the best it's ever been and he's young. He'll pull through", Remmy said.
"I know but...it's so hard to hear all of this and think positively", I said sadly.
"We just have to be strong for him", Grace said.
"Right now you two need some food", Remmy said.
"I'll come with you. I need to do something to clear my head", Grace said.
"We'll be right back Sarina", Remmy said.
"Okay."
I sat in the waiting room alone, but not for long.
"Sarina!"
I looked up, it was Josh.
When he came over to me, he got down on his knees in front of me. He looked so sorrowful.
He took my hands.
"Sarina...I'm so...so sorry. He's hurt because of me. I was supposed to stay by his side but, my damn hot-headedness got the better of me and I left him to go after Quinn. If it wasn't for me, he wouldn't be here. It's all my fault."
I shook my head.
"Josh, it's no one's fault. You can't see into the future, no one can. Even if you were with him, the same thing could have happened. I believe some things are meant to happen no matter how the situation plays out. I know Javi doesn't want anyone to feel sad and blame themselves right now. We just need to be strong for him."
He looked down at our joined hands.
"Yeah...you're right. This is going to be hard to get over."
"It will be hard for all of us."
"Are you okay though, overall", he asked as he looked at me.
I nodded.
"Yes. I should ask you that question, I wasn't the one out there."
He chuckled.
"I'm fine."
"Isn't Tyler coming", I asked.
"I told him to come over but...I think he's blaming himself more for Javier's status and how we didn't successfully capture the people we wanted. He's just burying himself in work, trying to avoid reality. I know he's not okay."
"I can go to him and—"
He shook his head.
"It's best to leave him alone right now. There's nothing we can do. Once he spirals into that place, it's hard to bring him back unless he wants to."
I looked down.
"Don't worry, I'll keep a close eye on him for you. Since Javier is still in surgery, I'll leave for now. I still have some work to do. Tell me when he's out and is awake, okay?"
"Of course", I said with a smile.
He took my face, leaning up to kiss my forehead before leaving.
"Sorry we took so long. They were closing up but were super nice to make us something", Grace said.
"Is a turkey sandwich okay with you", Remmy asked.
"Of course. Thanks guys."
They both took a seat. We finished our sandwiches and juices just in time as one of the surgeons approached us. We sat up straight, attentive to what he had to say.
"You're Javier Hernandez's family", he yes.
"Well more like frie—"
"Yes", I said, cutting off Grace.
"Oh uh...well surgery went well. We just wheeled him into his room. The anesthesia will be wearing off soon so he will be waking up shortly. The internal bleeding wasn't hard to fix. There was a puncture in his intestines but no major damage we couldn't fix. We want to keep a close eye on that to make sure there is no leaking and that it's working like it's supposed to. Other than that he's healthy. He got really lucky this time."
"Thank you so much", Grace said as she jumped up to hug him.
"You're very welcome. A nurse will come over as soon as he's awake so you can be taken to his room. I'm not sure if he'll want to sleep right away since it's pretty late."
"We won't bother him for long if he's too tired", Remmy said.
"Sounds good. You all have a good night."
"Thank you all so much", I said.
With that being said he left. We waited for about another hour. Finally, a nurse came over to take us to see Javi.
When saw us enter the room, he smiled.
Grace started crying right away.
"You big jerk! Why did you scare us", she scolded him.
He chuckled and then winced.
"Stop laughing", she shouted.
"I'm sorry, it wasn't my plan to end up here. I didn't mean to scare you all."
We were all gathered around his bedside now.
"I know you didn't plan on that", Remmy said.
"Tyler knows about this, right, and Josh", he asked.
"Yes, everything was reported over to him. I don't want to ask a ton of questions but—"
"Ask away, I want to be some help. I can explain how I ended up like this, it's my fault. I went off on my own when...when I saw Andy."
We all were surprised.
Grace reached over to touch him, quickly stopping herself since he has just gotten out of surgery.
"R-Really, you saw him", she said.
"For sure it was him. I had to go after him, he's Tyler's brother after all. I thought I could convince him to come with me. I made the decision to put my gun away because I wanted him to trust me. I knew it was risky since we don't know what side he's on and what they are making him do."
"I understand why you did that", Remmy said. "I think any one of us would have done so, especially for Tyler."
"What happened next", I asked.
"Suddenly more of Cosen's guys appeared. I felt like I couldn't do anything because I didn't want to scare Andy off. And then...that's when this happened", he said as he looked down at his stomach. "Andy suddenly charged at me, and before I knew it, I had a knife in me."
"What?! Andy...he stabbed you."
"Yes Grace...I'm sorry to say but he did...I was so confused and at the same time...I wasn't. I knew there was a risk he could hurt me because well...there's a chance he really is loyal to Cosen."
"Maybe there was a reason he did that. Can you remember anything else", Remmy asked.
Javi tried hard to think.
"I-I don't know...it was all fuzzy after that. I just remember being stabbed and the pain and then I woke up...seeing you all. I'm sorry...I really don't remember."
"That's okay Javi, don't stress yourself. It might come to you later", I said.
"Sarina's right", Remmy said.
"I still can't believe it. I mean...yeah...I only saw one side of him but...when he was with me, it didn't seem like...he would do something like that", Grace said.
"I know. Are you going to tell Tyler all of this Remmy?"
She let out a sigh.
"I'll have to. I know he's the main person who doesn't want to hear this but...this is part of our job. I think for now, you should rest. You helped out a lot, just don't let this get caught up in your thoughts", she said.
"Yeah...right now...we want you to get better. We'll come see you again tomorrow", Grace said.
"I agree, good night Javi", I said.
We all turned to leave.
"Wait, Sarina", he said.
"I'm sure he wants you to stay", Grace said with a wink.
"But—"
"No protesting Maxine, we are leaving you here. See you tomorrow", Grace said.
They both left without me.
"I'm hurt...like emotionally Maxine. You didn't want to stay with me", he said in a sad tone.
I let out a light laugh and then turned around to go back to him.
"I don't sound like a good friend if I'm hurting you."
"You know I'm joking."
He lent his hand out to me. I took it.
Feeling his hand made me not want to let go. I almost lost him. I've held it together for this long but now realizing the reality of what happened, it's really hitting me.
"What's wrong", he asked as I got quiet.
I shook my head but I couldn't speak. He knew.
"Come here", he said as he started pulling me close.
"Javi...I don't want to hurt you", I said in a shaky voice.
He ignored my concern as he pulled me over some more until I was leaning over him. His other arm came around to wrap around me. That's when I let it all out.
"I'm okay", he whispered.
"I know—I just..."
"Shh..."
I don't feel like I cried for long but I was quiet for a while. I made myself more comfortable by sitting on the edge of the bed Javi had made room for me. Even though he's in pain, he's more concerned about me. My head rested on his shoulder. His arm was still wrapped around me.
"Are you okay now? Stopped your waterworks?"
I laughed.
"You're so mean."
"I know."
"How are you feeling", I asked.
"Well, the meds wore off a while ago so...it hurts."
"Javi! You need to say something! Press the button to call for a nurse so they can give you more meds."
"I didn't want to bother you."
"Stop thinking about me and think about yourself. Pain could be something else too. If anything else happens to you because you aren't taking care of yourself I will really hurt you", I threatened.
"Yikes! You'll keep me in the hospital for the rest of my life."
"Of course I will. You men are so stubborn."
"That's our common trait."
He eventually called for a nurse who gave him more pain meds.
"Feel better now", I asked.
"Yep."
"You should get some sleep. I can come back in the morning."
"But I'll be lonely."
"That's what you need right now, not me. I know you Hernandez and what you'll try to do with me since we are alone."
He chuckled.
"Guilty as charged."
I slid out of his bed.
"Come over super early, okay", he said.
"I'll be the first one here."
I turned to leave and then stopped when I heard Javi clear his throat.
"Forgetting something", he said. "Can't leave your boyfriend hanging."
I giggled.
"Since when are you my boyfriend", I said as I went back over to him.
He took my hand.
"Since now. We can be hospital dating since we have more time together."
"That's a first for me, and then we break up once you're discharged?"
"Something like that."
"You're such a dork."
"So are you at times."
"Whatever Javi, I have to go."
He pulled me down, getting me close to him. I moved in so he didn't have to. We shared a quick kiss before I left.
The halls were much emptier now. Most of the guests were gone, leaving only nurses, doctors, and other staff that worked the night shift. It has been a long day. I was drained, I just wanted to go straight to bed.
I was almost at the exit when I suddenly crashed into someone. I was not paying attention to where I was going. I was that tired.
"Sorry I wasn—"
I stopped talking when I saw who I bumped into.
"Tyler? Are you here to see Javi, I told him he should rest."
"I wasn't here for him, I heard you were here and I came to tell you headquarters obviously isn't safe anymore."
Duh, that's right...I can't go back there.
"Where do I stay then?"
"Remmy took in Grace. I hate to ask her to place someone else since she has her own family too. I guess that leaves Josh's place. My house isn't the safest place to go right now either now ever since I made that announcement. I can set you up somewhere else soon."
"Josh's place is fine with me."
"I'll take you over there."
We walked out into the parking lot. Before we reached the car I stopped Tyler.
"What's wrong", he asked.
"I should be asking you that. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
He was wet from the rain earlier. It looked like he didn't even stop to take a break. I remembered what Josh said.
"Javi's fine. He's up, the surgery went well", I said in a cheerful voice.
Tyler nodded and then turned to go to the car. I reached out to stop him, grabbing his hand firmly.
"Please stop blaming yourself", I said in a soft voice. "It hurts me to know you're suffering."
I felt his hand relax. He didn't turn to face me, I moved over to him. My hand went up to touch his hair.
"You're going to catch a cold", I said.
"Just because you get wet doesn't mean you'll get sick."
I chuckled.
"You're such a know-it-all."
He finally looked at me. I felt his hand close around mine, he seemed to have hesitated at first. My other hand moved down from his hair to take his other hand.
"I have to get some work done", he said.
I didn't say anything. I don't even know what I'm doing, it feels like, I'm unconsciously testing the waters. He wants to make up an excuse to stop this but he's not physically stopping me.
I'm bolder than I thought. Is it because I want something?
"Okay."
I started to back off but felt his hands grip mine tighter. I was looking down between us, too nervous to look him in the eyes.
I don't know what's going on. I don't think he does either.
"I'll be okay, I promise", he said.
I felt his fingers link mine in both hands, drawing me closer to him.
"You're not just saying that to make me feel better?"
"Look at me."
My heart was racing, I don't know why. I forced myself to look at him to see he was already peering down at me.
"I really do promise."
"Okay, I believe you."
"We should really get going. It's not safe for us to be out here", he said.
"Right."