Listen To: 'Save Me' by BTS
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After we've filled up on cake and champagne, Jimin and I get in the car to head back home. The smile hasn't left his face all night and it makes me feel good to know that I could help make him feel even a small ounce of happiness. We put up the partition and make out in the back car like love sick teenagers and it's refreshing to spend time with him where we can let our guards down and be completely free.
Once we get to the house, we're met with the rest of the guys in the dark, all holding a cake and singing to their Jiminie at the top of their lungs. I stand back and watch them with so much pride as Jimin blows out the candles and they start smacking his butt with birthday love. How fucking lucky am I? I have seven incredible men and not only do they love me but they love, care, and respect each other. This is one of those moments that I wish that those that doubt our love, could see.
I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and look down to see Sejin is calling me. I walk into the hallway so I can hear him better and answer the call.
"Hey Sejin-Nim," I say.
"Hey El, you have a second?" He asks me.
"Of course, what's up?' I ask him.
"I just got a call from your agent, Peter," he continues and I instantly know where this is going. "He told me about the offer you got from Columbia. Eleanor, that's incredible!" He tells me. Of course Sejin is excited, he's the best kind of human being.
"Thank you," I say to him. "I'm not sure why Peter decided to share that with you though," I tell him honestly; I'm actually pretty upset that he did that. "I declined the offer though so it doesn't really matter," I finish.
"Eleanor," he says to me. "This is a huge opportunity. Your dream job from what Peter tells me. You've worked hard to reach this point in your career. Are you sure you don't want to consider it a little bit more?" He tells me.
"No, I don't want it. I won't move to New York. I can't leave Seoul," I tell him. I can feel my voice shake.
"You mean you can't leave them?" He asks me softly.
"I can't do it Sejin," I whisper.
"Eleanor, you're giving up your whole life; your biggest dream. Do you understand what you're doing?" He asks me. I can hear the worry and concern in his voice.
"Yes, I know and I choose them," I tell him.
"You're such a good person Eleanor. You're amazing. But just keep in mind that while you're giving up your dreams, they're out there living theirs. I'm not encouraging you to do anything or saying anything about your relationships; I'm simply saying that sometimes, you need to put yourself and your own dreams ahead of theirs. You're worth it and I know that if they knew about this, they'd probably say the same thing. I'm sure you guys could make something work without needing to end your relationships," he continues.
"I just—I can't do it," I say with a sigh.
"I'm right though, aren't I?" He asks. "They don't know, do they?" He continues.
I see Jungkook walking toward me with a smile on his face.
"Sejin, I need to go. We can talk about this later, okay?" I tell him hurriedly.
"Okay. We will talk soon. Goodnight El. Think about what I said," he tells me.
"I will," I say and end the call.
Jungkook wraps his arms around me and lifts me off the ground slightly. I feel his breath hitting my neck as he sways us slightly and my fingers tangle in his long dark hair.
"Everything okay?" He asks me as he looks down on me. I fake a smile and run my thumb across his cheek.
"Everything is perfect," I lie.
"Present time!" We hear Hobi shout. Jungkook takes my hand and we make our way back to the living room as they all bring their presents and sit on the couch with Jimin in the middle. They shower him with love and affection and his smile is the light that breaks through my darkness. I can live the rest of my life happily just watching them be happy and smile. Jimin in particular; Jimin is such an empath. He feels everything so deeply and always gives his all to everyone else so when I see him happy and smiling, it eases my soul. He deserves to be adored and appreciated every single moment of the day and I will live my life doing just that; making him fully aware that he is so loved and so desired. They finish up giving their presents and Tae looks over at me with a smirk.
"What about Eleanor's present?' He asks as everyone looks over at me.
"She already gave me my present, see?" He says as he extends his arm so they all look at the bracelet on his wrist. They oooo and ahhh as he looks at me and winks. I smile and stand up and their eyes follow me. I stand in front of Jimin and watch as he looks up at me, confused.
"You have one more present left," I say to him as I lean down and grab his hands and place them on my hips. He furrows his brows at me, really confused now.
"Unwrap your present Jiminie," I say as I bite down on my bottom lip. It's taking every ounce of courage to be this bold and daring in front of all of them. I planned this so it's not like I wasn't prepared; I decided to do it after he asked me if his present involved me being naked. I look around and see them all starting at me; wide eyes, raised brows, jaws slack, and mouths hanging open, completely taken aback by what I'm about to do. I take a step forward and I'm standing in between Jimin's legs. I grab his hands and lead them to the waistband of my silk skirt, forcing him to curl his fingers in, brushing against the heat of my skin.
"Come on birthday boy," I say teasingly. "Don't you want to see your surprise?" I tell him as I pull my skirt with his hands and he slowly starts moving them down my body. I hear his breath hitch as he tugs the fabric down and he sees what I'm wearing underneath.
I got this set the day Ae and I were doing some shipping before leaving to LA. I saw it in the window of the boutique and just knew he would love it. Everything about it reminded me of Jimin; my doting, starry-eyed, romantic lover. He drops my skirt onto the floor and I step out of it as his fingertips run up my thighs, leaving goosebumps in their wake. I hear him let out a soft groan as his fingers reach the soft, pink, satin that's covering my center. Above the small triangle of fabric there are straps that lay across my lower belly and criss cross each other. He runs his index finger gently along each strap, adored with small pink flowers. The straps hug high aground my waist and then lead to the back where the straps join, my cheeks exposed from the thong cut. As soon as his hand feels my bare skin, he squeezes my ass as his forehead leans on my torso.
"Not done yet," I whisper to him as I tug on the hem of my shirt. I look to my left and right at the rest of them and they haven't taken their eyes off of me for a single second. Jungkook looks like he's ready to scream, Taehyung's eyes are narrowed and dark, Namjoon's popping his knuckles, Seokjin is leaned back with his legs spread open, Hoseok is leaned forward on his bouncing legs, and Yoongi is sitting with his arms crossed against his chest and a smirk across his lips.
I take a small step back as Jimin stands up. His hands grab on to my shirt and pulls it up. I lift my arms as he pulls it over my head and throws it at Jungkook's face. I laugh softly then I hear the room fill with soft pants, moans and sighs. I smile, feeling good knowing that no matter how many times they've seen me in lingerie or even naked, their reactions never fail to make me feel so desired. The bra matches the panties but instead of fabric covering me, the straps lead to an embroidered flower piece that covers just my nipples and that's it. I feel Jimin's hands land on my hips, pulling me toward him as he pushes his hips against mine and I can feel how hard he is. He presses his lips onto my neck and his fingers dig into the softness of my hips and I can feel his breath against my skin. My hands go around his neck and I roll my head back allowing him the space continue working his beautiful lips on my sensitive skin. His fingers intertwine into the straps of my panties as he pulls on them, then let's them go as they snap against my skin. I let out a hiss at the pain.
I feel his hands go to my ass as he lifts me and I wrap my legs around his waist. I'm a tiny bit worried because let's just be honest, I'm pretty sure Jimin weighs less than I do but of course, he's much more muscular and strong than I am. His lips are kissing and sucking on the skin of my breasts exposed through the straps of my bra as he starts walking us to his room. I let my eyes wander to the couch as he leads us away and I see 6 very frustrated men. I catch Tae's eyes on me and I blow him a kiss and he winks at me.
Jimin opens the door to his room and gently places me on his bed as he hovers on top of me. He leans his head down and places his mouth on mine, biting down on my bottom lip. I let out a whine and feel myself clench as he pushes his hips against mine. I bring my hands to the hem of his shirt and pull it over his head as he pulls off of me to allow for me to tug the fabric off of him; needing to get my mouth on his skin as soon as possible. As soon as I throw his shirt off, I go for his pants and I struggle to get them off his hips.
"OFF. Take them off," I let out frustratingly and I hear him laugh above me. He pulls off his pants and underwear and comes back to lean above me. My hands go to his face and my thumbs run across his cheeks.
"I love you so much," I tell him. "I am so thankful that I get to love you; that I get to have you," I continue. He leans down and kisses me softly.
"Every single part of me is yours. All yours," he says in between kisses down my jaw. His hands move down my body as he hooks his thumb on the straps on my hips and pulls my panties down my legs as I lift my hips off the mattress. He kisses his way back up my body and then grabs my hands and pulls me up off the bed and reaches behind me to undo my bra.
Once he gets it off, he pushes me to lay on my belly; flat on the bed. I feel him kissing up my legs, and then on my back. My whole body shivers under his touch. He leans his chest against my back and presses his lips to my ear.
"You make me so happy," he whispers to me. I bring my hand back to his neck as he rolls his hips into me. I let out a moan at the feeling of his dick against my ass.
"Will you be mine forever 애기야?" He asks me as he pulls my hair behind my ear as he continues to rut into me. I can not take much more of this. He could literally not be touching me and his words alone would throw me over the edge.
"Jimin," I whine out. I hear him laugh softly in my ear. He pulls his hips off me and I feel him push my knees apart with his knee. His hands go on my hips as he pulls me up slightly and then I feel him at my entrance as he leads himself into me. He slowly pushes himself into me while simultaneously pushing me back down into the mattress by my hip until I'm laying completely flat again and his chest is pushed against me. His lips kiss my shoulder as he rolls his hips into me torturously slow. This position feels incredible; the way he's thrusting into me causes my whole core to erupt into butterflies.
He runs his hands up my arms and interlaces our fingers as he pushes them forward so they're raised above our heads. He's fully stretched over me, mimicking my position and he shifts his movement from thrusting to circular, rotating motion in his hips. His lips leave open mouthed kisses on the base of my neck and he runs his tongue up to my ear. He speeds up his movement and I squeeze my legs onto him, increasing the friction and tightness as he hits my gspot in the most satisfying way.
I've never felt so intimately close to someone while having sex. It's like I can feel his soul connecting with mine; he's stroking my hair, whispering in my ear and moving softly and slowly while still pushing into me deeply and lecherously. I feel his hand land on the base of my neck where it meets my shoulder as he continues to feed me honeyed words and my toes curl from the arousal that's pooled in my belly and my climax begins to spread.
"No one has ever made me feel the way you do, Noona. You're the one I've been waiting for my whole life; the one that I dreamed of," he says and I completely let go, letting my body experience the high that he's inflicted on me.
"I love you," I moan out as my whole body tenses and my back arches as my arousal works its way through my body. The moment he feels me clenching around him, I hear him moan out then feel his release fill me and his body tremble above me. He lets his weight fall onto me and I reach my hand back and scratch at his scalp on the back of his head. After a few moments, I feel his lips on my skin again.
He peels himself off of me, pulling out slowly. I turn around and sit up on the bed. He pulls the comforter off his bed and wraps it around me, leans down and grabs his underwear and steps back into them as reaches his hand out to me, motioning at me to follow him. He intertwines our fingers and walks us out of the room and toward mine. We walk straight into my bathroom and I turn the shower on for us, letting the water run hot for a little bit. I turn on my shower speaker and shuffle my playlist as the room fills with soft music and thick steam.
I turn around and watch as he steps out of his underwear and walks to me, his hands cupping my jaw as he kisses me gently. His hands move to the nape of my neck, pulling me to him, trapping his body against mine. His lips are soft, moving slowly, romantically. He parts his lips as his tongue traces my lips and a soft sigh escapes my mouth. He smiles, satisfied with my response and leads me to the shower. We step in and let the water fall as he presses against my back and places kisses on my neck. I let my head fall against his shoulders as I hum along to the song that's playing.
"고마워 내가 나이게 해줘서
Thank you for making me be me
이 내가 날게 해줘서
for making me fly
이런 내게 날갤 줘서
for giving someone like me wings
꼬깃하던 날 개줘서
for straightening my frowning face
답답하던 날 깨줘서
for breaking the suffocating shell surrounding me
꿈 속에만 살던 날 깨워줘서
for waking me up who lived in my dreams only
널 생각하면 날 개어서
Because the sky clears up when I think of you,
슬픔 따윈 나 개 줬어
I gave my sadness away
(Thank you. '우리'가 돼 줘서)
(Thank you for becoming 'us')..." *
"Jimin-ah?" I say out loud.
"Mmmm" he moans against my skin.
"I love you," I tell him. "Happy Birthday, Baby" I say. He squeezes his arms tight around my torso.
"Best birthday, ever" he says with a smile.
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"So who do you think you'll choose?" Chan asks me as he slurps noodles from his bowl. I smile as I watch him. He's got this child like glow about him.
It's 11:30 pm and we are having dinner together after a long day of work. I shot with Dream today and while it was fun, it was such a long day. So when Chan texted me asking me to join him for dinner, I was relieved to be able to just eat and have a good conversation. The guys are, of course, working late and there's no use in me waiting around at home by myself. Tomorrow is supposed to be the day we visit Jin's family and then we have plans for the afternoon.
"I don't know but I think I might go with Taek. He just seemed so eager and ready to learn. Ugh, I don't know. This shit is hard," I let out a whine. He laughs at me and we continue eating.
"How's everything going with you guys?" I ask him. He's looked off all night and I know that face, it's his worried face.
"I think we have to push the album a little bit. Things are just off right now. It just doesn't feel right. I can't explain it, it just doesn't feel like it's ready," he tells me. I can see the disappointment in his face. I know doing something like this kills him.
"Only you know when the right time is. Trust your gut and do whatever feels right to you. Your fans will wait. You shouldn't rush something like you don't feel is ready. I know how much of a perfectionist you are and the sense of pride you feel in the work you put out, take a step back and allow yourself the grace to be absolutely sure about what you produce," I tell him. "What do the guys say?" I ask him.
Before he can answer me, a group of 3 girls walks up to our table and shyly ask Chan for his autograph and chat with him, telling him how much he and all of Stray Kids mean to them. His face is lit up and he's so happy. I love seeing how happy he is while he's meeting his fans. After a few moments, they wave and bow as they excuse themselves.
"So cute," I say as I take a bite of my food.
We continue our conversation and finish eating our food and 30 minutes or so later, my phone rings and see that Taehyung is calling me. I slide my finger across the screen and answer, Chan pulls his phone out and distracts himself while I take my call.
"Hey," I answer.
"Hi Angel," I hear him say as he grunts and I hear a door slam. I pull my watch up to see it's 1:15 am, they must be exhausted.
"You done for the day?' I ask him.
"Yeah, we are heading home. Are you home?" He asks me. I can hear Jimin and JK arguing in the background.
"No, i'm out but I'll be heading home soon," I say to him.
"Okay. I'll wash up and meet you in bed," he tells me and I smile. I know that he means my bed, which he claims is his favorite place on earth.
"Okay, see you soon," I tell him.
"See you Angel," he says and I hang up the call.
"You're going to have to let me meet this mystery man of yours soon, you know? We can't be best friends without you letting me meet your boyfriend," he says with a wink.
"야! What we need to do is find you a girlfriend," I tease him.
"Nah, no one wants to date me," he responds.
"Channie, don't say that. Why are you so hard on yourself? You're so hardworking and talented and kind and sweet and any girl would be so lucky to have you," I tell him as I squeeze his hand. He blushes fiercely and I laugh at him. I motion over to our server for the check and grab it to pay before Chan can even try and argue with me. We get up and head out the door.
"Thank you for dinner El-Ah. Seriously, having you around has been so good. I feel like I have someone outside of the company that I can talk to and vent to and I don't know what I'd do without you," he says to me. I pull him in and hug him tight.
"I'm always here for you, yeah? Anytime. Go get some rest and I'll see you in a couple days," I tell him and I feel him squeeze me harder. We separate as we say goodnight and head opposite ways to our cars.
The drive home goes quick and by the time I get to the door to let myself in, I am exhausted. I walk into the house and can hear them. I drop my bag and as I start unlacing my boots, I look up to see Hoseok walking up to me. He stops in front of me and crouches down and grabs my foot and takes my shoe off and then moves to the other. After he takes off my shoes he moves up my body and immediately kisses me deeply. I bring my hands into his hair and pull gently as he runs his lips down my jaw and onto my neck. It's hot; so very hot. He bites down gently and then licks his way to my ear and I feel my knees buckle when I hear his low, raspy laugh in my ear. I feel the goosebumps on my skin and I feel like I'm about to fall apart under his touch.
"Did my Princess miss me?" He mumbles. I drop my face to look at him and see him smiling.
"Stop teasing me," I whine out with a pout.
"귀여워!" He says as he kisses my lips. I roll my eyes at him and run away from him as he tries to spank my ass for being "a brat". As I'm running away from him, I hit a hard body and tumble back to land on my ass with a heavy grunt.
"Whoa, are you okay?" Namjoon says as he reaches down and picks me up.
"Joon-ah, I'm fine. You can put me down now," I tell him as he leads me into the kitchen where I see everyone except for Tae. Namjoon kisses me softly and puts me down. I go around and give them all hugs and kisses. I reach Seokjin and he pulls me into his body and hugs me tight.
"Come talk to me for a minute?" He asks me. I nod and smile at him and he leads us to the living room so we can have some privacy. We sit on the couch and he extends his arm on the back, motioning for me to cuddle into him. I lean against his chest and he's playing with my hair.
"We've been so busy recently that I haven't had the chance to tell you," he starts. My fingers are playing with the buttons of his shirt.
"I talked to my Eomma and Apa a few days ago and told them about you and about our relationship. I figured I'd give them a few days to adjust before we just show up tomorrow," he tells me. I sit up and look at him surprised.
"What did they say?" I ask and my stomach is in knots. He runs his finger along my cheek and smiles at me.
"Well, they were surprised but not shocked. I meant it when I said my family is very open and when it comes to relationships, sexuality and all of that," he explains. "They said that as long as I'm happy and you're happy, that's all they care about," he says as he kisses the side of my face.
I feel a little relieved knowing that they are already aware of us and our relationship and I don't feel the need to feel defensive or on edge. I feel like I can enjoy the meeting now.
"You feel okay?" He asks me, his lips still pressed against my face.
"Yeah," I say. I tilt my face up to look at him and press my lips to his. "I feel more at ease going into meeting them, knowing that they are already aware of everything," I say. He leans into my kiss, pressing his lips firmly onto mine.
"I can't wait for them to meet my favorite girl," he says between kisses. I roll over on top of him, straddling his lap. I run my fingers through his hair and kiss him again.
"I'm your favorite girl?" I ask him teasingly.
"You're my everything," he says a his fingers graze under my shirt and run up and down my spine. "I just want them to meet the person I am going to spend the rest of my life with; the one that I love more than anything else in this world," he says as his hands continue to lace fire through my skin.
"I love you so much," I whisper to him. I lay my head down on his shoulder and exhale a breath.
"You tired? Did you eat?" He asks me.
"So tired. Yeah, I ate with Chan," I respond.
"Okay, get to bed. I'll let them know you've gone to bed. Go get some rest. We are leaving here at 9:00 am tomorrow, okay?" He tells me.
"I'll be ready. Goodnight, I love you," I tell him as I grind my hips against his lap, kiss him and then pull off of him. I hear him grunt out behind me and laugh as I walk into my room. I open the door and see Taehyung standing next to my dresser holding a piece of paper in his hand. He looks up as I walk in and I smile at him but his face is unmoving and I can't quite grasp what's going on.
"Baby?" I say as I close the door behind me and walk toward him. I see his body stiffen as he turns to look at me, the paper still in his hand. He's mad. I can see it now. His eyes are dark and the wrinkles in between his eyebrows , he's upset.
"When were you going to tell us about this?" He spits out. I'm caught off guard by his tone. He's cold and ragged, his voice is harsh, raised, and almost shrill.
"What are you talking about?" I stop walking toward him and instantly feel myself get defensive and upset. The wall I've let down, climbing back up as feelings of hurt and pain rise. I swallow the lump in my throat.
He holds up the piece of paper in his hand and turns it to show me the text he read.
"When were you planning on telling us you were going to leave us?"
*Lyric translations vis Doolset.