After a fun and decompressing day with the boys, Loki, Sam, and Emerson headed back to the compound, stopping by a store on the way to buy some (lots of) goodies. When they got to the living room, the guys went into the kitchen to prepare what they had bought while Emerson sat on the couch across from Bucky and Sharon who were literally eating each other's mouths.
"God, that's disgusting," she grimaced "get a room for God's sake!"
"What? Are you jealous?" asked Sharon with a smirk
"Don't play that game with me, love," Emerson replied as she stood up and looked down on the blonde agent "you'll lose easily, and you know it." she winked at them before leaving to join the boys
"What was that all about?" asked Bucky, after she walked out
"Nothing baby," she heard as a reply "nothing at all."
After a while, they came out of the kitchen with plates in their hands, and while Sam, Loki and Peter, who had joined them, went down to the movie theater, Emerson came back into the living room also with a plate in her hands. All the Avengers were sitting around talking along with MJ. Emerson greeted her and approached a couch against which she placed her plate.
"... and Sharon is still here, great." she murmured after looking around the room
"Yeah, and she's going to watch the movie with us." said Bucky
"Great...," she replied in a sarcastic tone "well, what are we watching?"
"I think Thor and Sam wanted to watch a Disney movie." Nat replied, walking over to her to wipe some flour off her cheek
"Thanks love," she whispered before speaking up again "well great then, shall we go downstairs?"
"Hell yea!" shouted Thor running towards the stairs
They could hear a heavy thump a few seconds later followed by an "I'm fine" from the man himself.
Emerson chuckled and called for the elevator, she was quickly joined by the rest of the crew and a few minutes later everyone was seated in front of the Beauty and the Beast as requested by the two little girls known as the Falcon and the God of Thunder.
At the end of the movie, Emerson offered to clean everything up while the other could go to bed as it was well past midnight. She started by taking the various cups and plates to pile them up when she heard giggling. When she looked back, she saw Bucky kissing Sharon's neck, the source of the giggles. Emerson wanted to tell Bucky everything she knew, right here, right now, but she restrained herself and turned away.
"Good night, baby." said Sharon, giving Bucky a long kiss
"Good night my love," Bucky said in return "I'll see you tomorrow, right?"
"Yes of course, baby."
Emerson turned around to pick up the bottles that were on the floor and, much to her displeasure, had to witness the most cheesiest goodbye ever (and not in a good way). She bent down to pick up something else that was on the floor, rolling her eyes, and when she stood up, she saw Bucky's eyes staring at her.
"What?" she asked, annoyed
"Why are you like that?" he asked her
"Oh, not that again...," she sighed, exasperated "like what this time?"
"Like you hate Sharon!"
"Oh that?" she fake laughed "let me think about it... huh because I do!"
"Why!?" he half shouted, half whispered, stopping her from leaving by grabbing her wrist
Emerson looked up at him, looking straight into his cold blue eyes, contemplating telling him the whole truth "I can't tell you..." she whispered, placing her free hand on his cheek
He unconsciously leaned into her touch, closing his eyes briefly, and reopened them a few seconds after when he felt the heat leave. She was gone and the door was still closing. He could have run after her, asked her questions, forced her to answer, but he was standing still in the middle of an empty room, in shock at what had just happened. The moment they had just shared, which, by the way, wasn't supposed to happen since they both hated each other.
It was as if he needed her touch, as if for a brief moment he didn't have control over his own body. With a heavy sigh, he left the room, taking the stack with him and turning off the lights. He went into the kitchen to clean up and went up to his room, deep in thoughts. He didn't even realize that the girl who was the cause of all his thoughts was staring at his back from her door frame, as he opened and closed his door. In his room, he instantly changed his shirt and jeans for a pair of sweatpants and lay down on his bed, the covers pushed to the side.
Moonlight was streaming into his room through the window just above his bed. He could see on his wall the movements of the wind on the trees. And just like that, his mind overflowing with thoughts of the girl living right across the room and bathed in the golden light, he closed his eyes, letting the darkness take him away from his own mind.
He had his gun out in front of him and could feel the horrible black mask on his face, synonymous of his identity as the Winter Soldier. He knew very well what was happening and even though he didn't want it to happen, he could only sit back and watch. He jumped from the balcony in the middle of the ballroom onto a table that shattered under his strength and weight, causing some people to scream in fear and quickly leave the room. The others, less fortunate, did not know what awaited them. It was not for them, but he had orders: свидетелей нет (no witnesses). He began to shoot every person moving and that's when the real carnage began. A few minutes later, he was walking through a pool of blood, avoiding the many dead bodies that were scattered on the ground. He climbed the stairs to find one last survivor trying to save his life.
"Please," he stuttered "please, sir, spare my life. I have a family. Please, I beg you!"
He raised his gun, stopped and said with sadness in his voice, "Мне правда жаль." (I'm so sorry). Then he fired, watching the body fell to the ground, his lifeless eyes staring into the Winter Soldier's.
He woke up from his nightmare, breathing heavily, trying to fight the Winter Soldier that was starting to break through. He was sitting on the floor, his elbow on his knee, still breathing heavily, when he heard his door open, he didn't look up, guessing who it was. She walked over to him and sat across from him, her back against the wall, looking at him without a word.
"Are you okay?" she finally asked when she noticed his breathing returning to normal
"Not really," he murmured before clearing his throat and answering "of course I'm okay."
"I'm not stupid, you know. And I'm not deaf either," Emerson said looking at him with a knowing look "but if you won't tell me the truth, let me call Carter for you."
"NO!" he shouted as she got up to get her phone
"Okay...," she said slowly as she sat back down "why don't you want your girlfriend with you?"
"Because," he paused with a sigh "because she doesn't know I have nightmares..."
"Why didn't you tell her?" she asked
"Well to tell you the truth, you're the only one who knows I still have nightmares and that's because you're close enough to hear me."
"Well, now I feel special," she commented playfully, smirking "maybe you should tell someone..."
"No, they wouldn't understand."
"Even Steve?"
"Steve," he exhaled "Steve doesn't really see that bad shit has happened to me since the 1940s."
"He still sees you as the old Bucky?"
"Yeah..."
"I'm sorry," she replied with a sad but genuine smile "well, if you're feeling better, I'll leave now. If you need anything, you know where to find me."
She got up and started to open the door when he asked, "Is this pity?"
"What?" she turned around to see him inches away from her
"Is it pity?" he asked again " you- being nice to me?"
"You think it's pity?" she repeated
"I don't know what to think," he sighed as he stepped back to sit on the edge of his bed "it's been almost four months since you got here and, except for when you weren't on good terms with the Avengers, you always hated me..."
"Let me ask you this," she said, reaching up to take his chin in her fingers, forcing him to look at her "was it me who hated you first or was it you who started all this?"
She smiled slowly at him before leaving his room for hers. Her scent still in his room, he got up to close his door and sat on the side of his bed with his head in his hands.
When Emerson woke up the next day, images of the night flooded into her mind. She reached for her phone to see that it was only 6 a.m. She straightened up before running a hand over her face and getting up. She was too lazy to work out today so she changed into a cream sweat suit with brown Converse and her watch. She wore very little makeup and tied her hair up in a messy bun.
She went to the kitchen to get her usual, necessary coffee and saw Sharon drinking a cup of what appeared to be tea. Emerson walked over to the coffee machine, brewing it, and turned around, her back against the counter, arms crossed over her stomach.
"Since you're still here, I'm guessing you haven't told him yet?" she commented
The agent was about to retort with a sarcastic comment, but stopped when she saw the look Emerson was giving her. Instead, she backed off a bit, avoiding her gaze.
"Four days, Carter," she added as she picked up her cup and started to leave the kitchen "four days..."
She was sipping her coffee, walking towards the greenhouse when she met Loki.
"Hi bestie," she greeted "did you sleep well?"
"It was okay, darling," he smiled back "where are you going?"
"Wanna come with me?"
"Sure, why not." he shrugged
After a few hours of talking, Emerson went to her room to work a little on some new programs. She had been on her bed for about 15 minutes when there was a knock.
"Yes?" she asked
"It's Steve, can I come in?"
"Sure, come on in."
He timidly opened the door and stood still for a moment before Emerson tapped the side of her bed.
"What do you want?" she asked with a smile
"Uh... okay, this is awkward," he chuckled nervously "but I wanted you to help me..."
"Okay, what do you need?"
"I want to officially ask Nat to be my girlfriend and-"
"REALLY!!!? YESSSSS!" she cut him off "sorry, you were saying?"
"It's okay," he laughed "I just wanted some advice on how to make it perfect..."
"Well, I think you know what she likes," she began "don't try too hard, but anyway if you do it from the heart, she'll love it."
"Yeah, that's what I thought," he smiled and stood up "well, then thanks."
He smiled and opened the door only to see Wanda getting ready to knock with Natasha beside her.
"Um hi?" said Wanda, looking between Steve, Emerson and Nat
"Sorry, I'll leave you between the girls," he cleared his throat and looked at Emerson "thanks again, Mer."
He left and the girls entered, taking his place on the bed.
"What did he want?" asked Nat
"You'll see later, Tasha." Emerson smirked
"So, you wanted to see us?" asked Wanda
"Yes," she breathed in "because I think it's time, I tell you my secret..."
"Are you going to tell us who the lover is?" asked Nat, guessing
"Yes," she sighed "I guess I am."
"Okay my love," smiled Wanda "take all the time you need."
"Maybe we could go somewhere else?" Emerson said, looking from one to the other "and I could introduce you to my best friend?"
"Sure, why not." Nat shrugged
"Let's go then."
The three girls got up and each one went back to their room to change and grab a coat, saying they would meet at the front door in ten minutes. Emerson took the opportunity to call Emily to let her know.
15 minutes later, the three girls were walking down the street toward Emily's coffee shop. Instead of entering through the front door, Emerson guided them to a door in the back.
"It's closed on Mondays." she explained, pushing open the door and letting Wanda and Nat in first
They were greeted by a white cat to which Wanda crouched to pet.
"This is Alpine, my cat." she explained again
"You have a cat?" asked Wanda
"Yea," she smiled "right this way, ladies."
"EMILY, WE ARE HERE!" she called
"Hi!" Emily said, appearing from behind her bar
She stepped forward to face the small group and held out her hand.
"Well, I guess you already know this, but my name is Emily." she said, smiling
"Nat," she said, shaking her hand "nice to meet you."
"Wanda." she said, shaking her hand
"Would you like something to drink?" asked Emerson as she walked behind the bar
"I'm fine, thanks." Nat replied
"Could I have a hot chocolate?" asked Wanda
"Good choice," replied Emerson "they are delicious!"
"So, four hot chocolates?" repeated Emily, joining her friend
"Yep," Emerson replied, cutting Nat "but I will do it, go sit with them."
"Come on, for old time's sake!" she added, seeing that Emily wasn't moving
"All right." she exhaled as she threw her hand in the air
"So," Emerson said as the three girls sat across from her "I guess it's time."
"Take your time, love." Wanda reminded
"When I was in Hydra, for the first five years, I was on my own," she began, while preparing the cups "and um, one day they told me I had a new opponent. And to find out if he was the right one, we had to fight and I had to win. I lost," she laughed softly but sadly "but it wasn't enough. I fought with him every day, and I lost every day, and every night he would come to me quietly to train and treat me. This went on for a little over 2 years... Until I beat him, at which point I was in a position to kill him and the look on his face made me want to kill him, he wanted to die. But just as I was about to do it, I was pulled back by guards and beaten. I was 15. The next day, my base boss called us and told us that from then on, all our missions would be done in duos. We were unbeatable but discreet, the best duo of any generation, they said."
"You're Shadow?" asked Nat "that's your name, right?"
"Yes, I was Shadow." she sighed as she pushed the hot chocolates towards them
"You were the ultimate model in the Red Room," she added "I was a fan of what you could do with-" she stopped suddenly, realizing who the other person was "you two were known as the Shadow Winter..."
Emerson could only nod, guessing that they were coming closer and closer to understand who he is.
"Wait, Winter?" asked Wanda "as in the Winter Soldier?"
She nodded again.
"Oh my god, it's Bucky!" exclaimed Nat, second after
"Yeah, it's him." Emerson said, letting a tear fall
The next few minutes were filled with a heavy silence. Nat and Wanda were too stunned to speak and Emerson, with tears in her eyes, had closed them. Emily soothed her arms, comforting her knowing deep down that only he could comfort her completely.
"I knew I shouldn't have told you," Emerson comments after too long a silence "it's a mistake. I told you it was too complicated to tell anyone." she said addressing Emily
"Hey, be patient, it took me a while too to talk to you after you told me everything," she replied "they can understand even more than me."
"She's right, Mer," Wanda interjected "we're just surprised it's him."
"You don't have to be ashamed or afraid," Nat continued "you could have even told us sooner. We can understand."
"Now tell us the rest."
"I'm sorry," she murmured "the rest is pretty simple really. We went on mission after mission, all successful. And then I started remembering things from before, especially about Peter. But I didn't tell anyone, I was too scared. I don't remember how I got there, but at some point, I also helped the Winter Soldier remember and that's what brought us closer. I think I was the one who first fell in love with him, I fell really hard and we got even closer, until at the end of a mission, we kissed. And it was- amazing. From that point on, we always tried to protect each other, taking hits, torture or even brain wash. But we never forgot the love we had for each other. One day a guard found out we were in love and told our boss, I told him that we would be more effective that way, and it worked on the condition that at the first mistake we would be brainwashed and separated. We worked like that for almost 5 years, until we got fed up and tried to escape... h-he protected me, and stayed behind so I could get away," she finished, tears running down her cheeks "I promised I would come back to save him, and I was about to do so when Peter called me at the end of August."
"I'm sorry, love," Wanda said, taking her hand in hers "I'm sorry for everything, but I'm especially sorry that you've had to go through all this since you arrived at the compound."
"But you hate him." Nat stated
"No, he hates me, I'm just playing along." she replied
"Why didn't you tell him?" asked Wanda "he could have remembered, right?"
"When I escaped, I managed to get all my memories back thanks to a sorcerer and I told him about Bucky and the possibility of him being brainwashed," she explained "there were 2 solutions. One, he remembers as soon as he sees me, which is what would normally happen. Or..."
"Or he doesn't remember and that means he needs intimate physical contact to remember." Emily finished
"Exactly."
"A kiss, right?"
"Right, that's why I never told him. I had no proof and I couldn't kiss him like that since he hates me."
"You could have shown him." Wanda offered
"I could have but I knew he wouldn't want anything to do with his past in Hydra. So, I let him."
"But you see him every day kissing that bitch and he even got you into fights with your brother. Twice," Nat said "how do you do that?"
"He just deserves to be happy, and he's happy without me. That's all I want for him."
"I admire you so much, Mer." said Nat
"There's nothing to admire though, but thanks I guess," she smiled shyly "anyway, I have drama for you." she continued, a few seconds later
"Ohh, what is it?" asked Wanda, leaning towards Emerson to listen better
"Sharon," she paused "Sharon is cheating on Bucky."
"WHAT!?" exclaim Nat and Wanda at the same time
"How do you know?" asks Wanda
"Did you do something?" asks Nat
"I saw her kissing another guy Friday night," she explained "and of course I did something!"
"I don't know! Because the way they were yesterday during the movie, it seems like he doesn't know about it."
"She hasn't told him yet, but she has until Friday to do it or I do it."
"And you, how do you feel about it?" asked Emily
"I don't really know, I feel sad for Bucky but at the same time, she's such a bitch. And with everyone else also."
"That's right," said Wanda "a real bitch." she mumbled
The three girls laughed at Wanda's innocence and continued talking. Nat about Steve, Wanda about Vision, Emily about her life, and Emerson talked briefly about the two moments that happened the night before with Bucky.
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A/N: sorry for the wait, I'm guessing you all understood that Bucky was the lover, but were you kind of surprise? Do you like Emily so far?
By the way, thank you so much for the 3k reads :)
have a good day/night, love you 3000 <3
7th March 2022
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