➤ ➤ ➤
"I got you, don't worry," Arizona tended to my fears, grabbing firmly onto my arms as I climbed through the window. I grunted awkwardly as I set one foot down on the bed inside Ari's room, allowing me to shove my entire body through.
It resulted in me accidentally falling on top of Ari as we both landed on the mattress. Ari blew a raspberry, shoving me off of him. I landed on the blankets as he stood up and closed the window, shivering from the cold. "You'd think it'd start to get warmer in March."
"April feels more plausible," I noted, looking up at him from the bed.
"I can't wait for summer," Ari said, stepping over me and approaching his record player in the corner of his room. "I haven't seen the sun in so long. It's just been clouds now."
I looked out the window, realizing he was right. It was about 3:30 PM, school had just ended a half-hour ago, yet it seemed very dim and misty out there. "This'll technically be our last March as high school students, we might as well savor the cold rainy season while it lasts."
"I never liked the cold rainy season." Ari leaned down and skimmed his fingers through the record shelf, looking for something to put on. I turned my head upside down while lying on the bed, seeing a flipped image of his back while he searched.
"You never know, it could bring back certain memories in the future that you wouldn't expect to be nostalgic."
"Yeah, well, I don't really find myself sticking to emotions in that way," Ari chuckled, carefully sliding out an album, one that looked familiar. "Music has been really the only thing in my life that's been permanent."
I took my eyes off of him, directing it to the ceiling. I sighed through my nostrils and furrowed my brows. I feel so bad for him. But I know I can't say anything or else he'll be annoyed.
"Now, it's my turn to play my music," Ari concluded, pulling out another album from the shelf and looking at the two of them, side by side. "I'm wondering, though, what's the best album to start you out on... I don't really know if you're mentally prepared for half of these."
"You like complicated music."
"I like music that makes me feel things."
"All music does that."
"For specific people." Ari then turned around and sat on the floor, next to the shelf. He held out two albums, acquiring my attention. I flipped over on the bed to stare at him upright. "You've got a choice. Either you listen to my favorite album of all time, Twin Fantasy by Car Seat Headrest, which is, by the way, a fuckin' mental breakdown, or The New Abnormal by The Strokes, which I feel is easier to digest."
"I'll listen to your favorite one."
"Daring today, aren't we?" Ari smirked, placing the other album back on the shelf and standing up with his favorite record. I laid back down onto the bed, facing the ceiling again as Ari put the record on the player. "By the way, Victrola's are, like, terrible in quality, so if you're ever thinking of getting a record player, don't buy these ones. They destroy records."
"How come you bought it?"
"I didn't, I found it in the basement." Ari had set down the black disc onto the turntable.
"It's not yours?"
"No, but Bonnie said I could use it since she doesn't anymore. Plus, I don't have enough money to actually buy one, so..." He switched on the machine and lowered the needle.
"...And Bonnie is..?"
"Foster mom."
The needle hit the disc. The static of the Victrola began to fizzle through the speakers. Ari took a step back and held his paws out on either side of him, giving himself his own space and creating his own atmosphere. I got up from the bed and sat at the edge of it, watching him stand there silently. I awkwardly waited for the first song to play, looking around the room.
"...Is your family home? Will they hear the music?"
Ari gently held his finger up to his muzzle with his eyes closed, sending me a wordless signal to be quiet.
"...Will I ever get to meet your foster family?"
Ari then did a somewhat audible shush, keeping it very quiet and soft. That was when I could hear a very faint and loose drum pattern coming from the speakers as the vinyl record spun. Ari began to sway back and forth as a delicate baseline followed up the quiet drums.
"...So, uh, really quickly, when do you want to learn ASL—?"
Ari then lunged at me, slapping his paw over my mouth and shutting me up. He stared at me with intensity, scaring me enough to stop whatever I was doing. Then, he started to sway to the music, gently grabbing my shoulders and swaying my body along as well. "Uhh..."
And when the first verse started, Ari sang along to it as if he were the lead vocalist, singing the song directly for me. "Myyyyy boy... we don't see each other much... Myyyy boy... we don't see each other much..."
As he slowly parted his paws from my shoulders, I took the opportunity to ask, "What are you doing, Ari—"
He then clasped his hand right back on. "—It'll take some time... but somewhere down the line... we won't beeeeee alone..."
Ari slowly backed away from me, removing his grip and standing straight in the middle of the room as a melodic guitar riff faded in, giving the song a more tranquil vibe. Ari began to twirl around in circles, letting the music sway his body and take control. I felt a smile creep onto my face as I watched him get lost in the music. He looked ridiculous, for sure, but his dancing made it clear that he didn't care what people thought of him. He was right, music really did have an impact on him. He looked so... happy.
"Myyyyy boy... we don't see each other much..." Ari sang along to the falsetto vocals, holding his paws out to me dramatically as if I were his 'boy' that the song was so intent on referencing. "Myyyy boy... we don't see each other much..."
"I..." I whispered to myself when Ari suddenly get very close to me and clasped his paws onto my cheeks, looking down at me with a mocking sense of pity in his eyes. "Oh, Jesus—" I flinched as he brushed his paws across my face. He's quite the performer.
"It'll take some time..." He touched his finger to my forehead. "...but somewhere down the line..." He dragged that finger down my face and my snout. "....we won't beeeeee alone..." He then dragged it down to the collar of my shirt, grabbing it and pulling me closer to his face. He smirked devilishly, causing my face to overheat a little.
"You are... so weird..." It took me a few seconds to fathom the right words in my mouth as I was caught off guard by Ari's suggestive actions. He then pushed me back and returned to the middle of the room as the song reached a midpoint, where it was back to that silent drum pattern. "Seriously, though, when are we going to... Ari?"
Ari held his finger up to me, shaking his head. He then formulated an imaginary air guitar in his hands as soon as a distorted, vibrating hum of an electric guitar began to singe over the speakers, which were on full volume. It started to make my ears tense up. Ari danced along as if it were perfectly fine.
The drums and pace of the song increased in intensity, and before I knew it, Ari fell onto his knees with his fists clenched to his chest, mouthing the lyrics as the lead singer of the song screamed:
"MYYYY BOY! WE DON'T SEE EACH OTHER MUCH!"
"Jesus Christ—"
Ari lunged for me and grabbed my shoulders once again. "MYYYYYYYY BOY! WE DON'T SEE EACH OTHER MUUUCH!"
"What the fuck—"
Ari then pushed me down onto the mattress and flopped onto the bed beside me. He began to contort his body in strange ways as if he were having an exorcism done on him. "IT'LL TAKE SOME TIME! But somewhere done the line... we won't beeeeeEEEEEEEEE—"
Suddenly, the door to Ari's bedroom had opened.
Ari sat up from his bed immediately, shocked by the intrusion. I did the same, surprised by how fast his mood can change when interrupted. He stared at the person who stood in the doorway, a blank expression on his face as if he were scared that someone might've caught us or something.
But, Ari's fear then melted away as the one who stood in the doorway was revealed to be a tiny, toddler-looking tabby kitten with a sparkly purple shirt and pink glasses. Arizona sighed and stood up from the bed, approaching the record player and switching it off. The music halted, the silence in the room proving to be even louder than the song.
"Ari..?" The little girl spoke with a very high-pitched and nervous voice. "What's going on..?"
"Nothing, Dahlia, why are you home? " Ari whispered to her as he walked over to the door and leaned down to match her height.
"...Practice ended early." She began to fumble with the beads of her dress.
Ari looked back at me, our eyes meeting. He sighed and grabbed the door, pulling it close to his head and hiding 'Dahlia' from my sight for their private conversation. But, it was pretty easy to hear them. For me, at least.
"Where's Bonnie? And Steve?" Ari whispered.
"Mom brought me home. Dad's still at work."
"Mom's home?"
"Yeah, but she's parking the car."
"...Okay. Um, remember to knock, alright?"
"I thought I heard someone screaming..." Dahlia whimpered. I couldn't see her, but from the tone of her voice, I could imagine the anxious on her face. "I got scared."
Ari exhaled sharply. "I'm alright, okay? Go back to Bonn—Mom."
After a few seconds of more silence, Dahlia spoke in an even quieter voice. "...Who is that?"
"...A friend, he's not bad, alright? He's a friend."
"...Why do you always have so many friends in your room—?"
"—Dahlia, come on, go." Ari scratched the back of his head, looking over at me. We both knew exactly what she was referring to, even if she was a little too young to understand.
"But—"
"—We can talk about it later, okay? Just not now."
A small pause.
"...You always say that."
Then, I heard the sound of tiny footsteps scampering away, probably running up a flight of stairs. Ari hung his head low with shame, sighing quietly as he stood back up onto his feet.
I got up from the bed as Ari shut the door to his bedroom, pressing his back up against it and staring at me with a remorseful look in his eyes. He scratched the back of his head and laughed it off. "Sorry about that."
"Was that your sister?" I approached him slowly.
"Yeah." Ari leaned his head against the door, holding his paws behind his back. "...She's probably the only one in this family that likes me."
"How many siblings do you have?"
"Three. Dahlia is sort of the middle child, Shirley is, like, two years younger than me, and Theo, he's the youngest. I'm the oldest, as you can tell."
"...Was it weird integrating into this family?" I joined his side, leaning up against the door next to him.
"No, actually, they're... they're all foster kids, too."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Surprisingly, I'm not the latest addition, Theo is. He's four years old. Bonnie and Steven took him into their care, like, last year, I think."
"So Bonnie and Steven are your foster parents?" I asked as Ari walked back over to his bed, lying down on his back and releasing a sigh of relief.
"Yeah. They're fine and all, I, just... I'm not the type of foster kid that parents connect to."
"I wouldn't expect all foster kids to be easy to connect to, honestly." I came over to the bed and lied down on my stomach next to him, resting my chin on my fist, looking down at him.
"Yeah, I guess you're right..."
"So, Bonnie and Steven, like, run a safe haven for foster kids?"
"They've always sort of wanted a big family, but they couldn't have their own children due to reasons out of their control, so they did this instead."
"I think it's cool."
"Yeah." Ari's eyes drifted over to mine. "...Did you like the song?"
"Yeah. It was nice."
"Thanks."
"What was it about?"
"It sorta connects to the entire theme of the album, it's complicated..." Ari then choked on his words. "Well, it's not that complicated, actually, it's basically a concept album centered around a breakup between two guys and their relationship prior to it."
"Oh, so it's gay, no wonder you love it."
"Shut up," Ari smacked my leg as I began to chuckle. "Really, though, when you listen to the whole thing, it's actually pretty heartbreaking. When I first listened to it, I didn't really understand the message, but as I got older, it really started to impact me and the period of my life that I was living in... First album I ever cried to."
"That's deep," I nodded my head.
"I don't know why I love it so much... I guess I just related to it and my own experiences with relationships. I love music that can make me revert back to older time periods in my life and question everything about it, the past, the future..." Ari chewed on his nails, holding them in front of his face to stare at the chipping nail polish. "...Life can be so fragile, you know? These fleeting moments that we call memories whisk away so easily. It's hard to grasp onto a feeling, and when you do, it's even harder to make it last. That's how I see love and romance in general. Just something I'm chasing after endlessly, only to lose it when I finally get it."
I felt my eyebrows tilt downward, my pain for him growing even larger. Ari's eyes wandered back over to me, and as if he had just remembered that I existed, he suddenly shook his head randomly, snapping out of his trance.
"...Sorry, that was so depressing, Jesus," Ari laughed, clearing his throat and gaining his energy back. "Tell me about you, what's happening love and romance-wise with you? Anything with Eden?" Ari teased, forcing his finger onto my forehead and pushing down hard, making me blush.
"Oh, yeah," I chuckled with him, collapsing my head down onto the blankets and resting my left cheek into the pillows so I could look at him. "I don't really know how to approach her, I guess."
"It's strange talking to someone who wants to date your best friend of, like, three years."
"Do you think we'd be good together?"
"I can't be the one to give you that clarification. You should ask her out."
"You think so?"
"C'mon, man, it's your last year of high school, your last chance to have any sort of teen romance. It'd take the opportunity if I were you."
"That's easy for you to say, you've been gangbanged by the entire planet."
Ari's jaw fell wide open with a scoff, jokingly offended. "Well, at least I'm confident enough to put myself out there!"
"What do you do, walk up to some guy and say, 'Hey, I want you to stick your dick in me,'?"
"Shut up! You're the worst!" Ari sat up from the bed and grabbed a pillow, throwing it at my face. I used little effort to block it, so of course, it hit me.
"Seriously, though, how do I even talk to Eden? Or any girl for that matter?" I picked up the pillow and sat up, tossing it back at him pathetically. Ari caught it and sat with his legs crossed on one side of the bed as I migrated to the other.
"Well, from what I've heard, you're the high school heartthrob, so I don't think you could mess up that bad." Ari threw the pillow at me.
"Oh, trust me, I can." I caught it and threw it back. "And what do you mean I'm the high school heartthrob?"
"Eden says every girl in CHS has a crush on you. It's obvious that they all want to suck your face." Ari mockingly made out with the pillow in a wild and rambunctious way before throwing it back at me. I dodged the pillow, pretending to be grossed out by it now that Ari had kissed it a thousand times.
"I wish I could somehow have a crush on them back, that way I'd have no chance at being rejected." I picked up the pillow by the edge of the corner with two fingers.
"You think Eden would reject you?" Ari caught the pillow when I feebly tossed it back.
"Eden's the only girl that I have no idea whether she has a crush on me or not."
"Where would you take her if she did say yes to a date?"
"Probably the movies."
"That's so cliche," Ari chuckled as he full-on power-slammed that pillow in my direction, which I punched to block the impact. I picked it up immediately and prepared to chuck it back at him with the same violent force.
"Well, actually, we both have a love for movie theaters, so it's something that connects to us both." I held the pillow firmly and, sitting up on my knees, began to whack him several times with it as if we were having a pillow fight at a girl's sleepover.
"...Yeah, okay, that makes sense!" Ari squealed, shielding himself with his arms and fighting off my blows. He was able to steal the pillow from my paws, disarming me and hiding it behind his back. "What would you do on the date?"
"Why do you keep asking me these questions?"
"Because I'm interested!"
"Because you're stalling."
Ari paused, his face distorting into confusion. "...What?"
I sat back down on the bed sincerely. "Why don't you want to learn ASL, Ari?"
The canine in front of me then groaned, shook his head, and rolled his eyes. "Shut up, I've told you this already."
"You don't want to keep being reminded, I know, but..." I tried my best to find the right words to convince him. "...I'm giving you the chance to prepare yourself for when you do.... lose your... yeah." Ari stared at the blankets, suddenly taken aback. "T-trust me, it's a lot harder to learn deaf."
Ari exhaled deeply and scratched his forehead, owning up to his actions. "I'm sorry, I'm being difficult. It's sort of a habit of mine."
I appreciated how quick he was to apologize, but I really hoped he didn't always assume he was the one at fault. "Look, I'll listen to your album when I can. Maybe tonight, I will. But, please, let's just try this out, alright? I promise, it'll be so helpful when you know ASL by heart."
"Well... what's the difference with learning it deaf?" Ari shrugged, holding the pillow in his arms as if it were a child. "I mean, the outcome is still the same, it doesn't change anything in the long run, so, what's the point?"
Alright, try your best to formulate these sentences as best as you can, Harvey...
"...It's better to have a friendly voice by your side when guiding you along a scary path. B-Believe me, you can feel so lonely when you're diving headfirst into something you know nothing about. I know that it may be 'simple' to imagine a world with no sound as much as it is scary, but when it becomes a reality, it could be the most horrifying thing ever. It's like you're stuck in a pitch-black maze, it can drive you crazy because of how... scary it is to be alone in a place you don't understand. But, me teaching you this beforehand is like me giving you the directions to the maze before you even enter it. I want to be that helping hand to you, Ari, you got that?"
Ari stared at me for a while, his brain processing all that I had said. He seemed close to giving in. "...There's no way you just came up with that all on the spot."
I bit my lip, a little embarrassed. "...I got it from my mom."
A subtle smile slowly crept onto Ari's face, one that wasn't forced, but one that seemed real. He turned his head to the side and sighed, shaking his head very faintly. "Alright, you make a convincing argument. How do we begin?"
A smile crept onto my face as well. I leaned in closer, excited to hop in. I've always loved being able to teach people ASL. Honestly, I found it, kind of, fun. It was always such a beautiful language to me, the way hands and fingers could tell so much with just a few simple movements.
"Well, first, I'll start you off with the basics. How to introduce yourself."
Ari rested his head on his hands, making sure to remain attentive. "Go on."
"Let me show you first." I held my paws up and began to sign.
I started with touching my open paw to my chest, followed by a double-tap of my two index fingers together. Then, I signed every letter of my first name in a calm, cohesive order, making sure that every gesture was clear to Ari.
"My name is Harvey," I interpreted as I signed the greeting before him. "...Looks simple, right?"
Ari slowly nodded his head. "...I guess so."
"You ready to learn how to say that?"
"Yeah, I'm totally ready to learn how to say 'my name is Harvey'," he joked as he flapped his paw around, imitating my skillful ASL.
"Oh my God, do you know what that would be?"
"What?"
"A twin fantasy."
"I fucking hate you."
➤ ➤ ➤
As I entered back into my bedroom, a singular towel hanging around my waist, collecting all the dripping water accumulated from the shower, I noticed my phone on my bed. The screen was lit up as I had just received a few notifications.
Knowing that I was finally alone in my room, I removed the towel and rampantly brushed it through the fur all over my body, tossing it into the hamper in the corner of my room when I was done. I grabbed the phone from the bed and collapsed into the blankets, still completely naked, opening my messages app.
I had gotten a few texts from Eden.
hey! ari told me abt the sign language thing ur doing with him. just wanted to say that's rlly sweet of you. thank you for being such a kind friend.
I smiled once more, a warm feeling spreading across my face. I tapped onto the keyboard, writing back.
no thank YOU eden. ur a great friend to him. to everyone, really.
Once I had sent the message, the 'read' label showed up underneath the blue bubble almost immediately. After that, the gray bubble with three blinking dots showed up in her corner, telling me that she was answering back.
shut up ur the sweetest
be quiet
gn goofball
goodnight edie
And that was it.
I rested the phone on my chest, clenching it securely with my paw. I stared up at the ceiling, unable to wipe the smile off of my face.
I'm happy to be helping Ari.
That was when I remembered my promise to him. I sat up and looked around for my headphones, finding them tangled on the floor beside my bed. I reached down and acquired them, struggling to untie all the tight and annoying knots.
Once the wires were free, I plugged them into my phone and opened my music app. I searched up 'Twin Fantasy' by Car Seat Headrest and found the 2018 version. I saw the cover of the two dogs in love, being reminded of Ari's description of what the album was about. It was ten songs, an hour and eleven minutes long.
Hm...
...I mean, it's late at night and I have nothing to do.
Might as well kill the time.
I tapped on the second track since I had already heard the first one.
'Beach Life-In-Death'.
This song is thirteen fucking minutes long?!