Marcus stared at the open doorway his wife had just disappeared through. Rain might complain he didn't show any emotions, but beneath the surface, a storm raged. An annulment? Hell would have to freeze over before he would agree to such a preposterous request! To be granted an annulment, a man had to stand up in front of his peers and admit impotence; an inability to consummate the marriage. While they had never consummated their marriage, he had no intention for the world to believe him impotent. Rumours would spread like wildfire and he'd be the laughingstock of the ton. Even if he cared little for the opinions of others, that was one thing his pride would not allow him to do.
The idea of Rain leaving him made his blood run cold. He knew their marriage was far from perfect. Barely a marriage at all, if he was honest. But to actually want to leave him? She must hate him even more than he thought. The idea of her with another man didn't sit well with him. He didn't particularly wish to examine the feelings the thought brought forth, but he suspected it was jealousy. He took another sip of his drink. No, it was definitely jealousy. If he was a better man, he would have allowed her the annulment and the chance of finding happiness with someone else. But he was not a better man. He was selfish, and he still wanted her, even after all this time. Despite all the bad blood between them—he didn't want to lose her.
That they currently lived under the same roof—a rarity during their nearly two years of marriage—afforded him the opportunity to do something about it. What, exactly, that was, he wasn't sure. Romance and courtship wasn't exactly his forte. He still wasn't exactly sure how he had charmed her enough to get her to marry him in the first place, and it would be even harder now, considering she hated his guts.
Recently, an important list of former and current spies had been stolen from the War Office and it had yet to be recovered. The suspicion was that the agent who had stolen it planned to sell it to the French. It could prove dangerous for anyone whose name was on the list, as there were people out there who might want revenge. Marcus's name was on that list. He hadn't been a spy, but he'd been a code breaker during the war; cracking the codes used in dispatches and letters sent by the enemy. With no way of knowing when—or if—the list would be made public or given to the wrong person, he had moved back home, to his wife's great dismay.
Usually when she was in town, he would vacate Winterbourne House and take up residence at his set at the Albany. But he wanted to be close to Rain to ensure her safety. So he'd told her his set needed refurbishment. Whether or not she believed him, he wasn't sure, but she'd begrudgingly accepted his presence in his own house. At least their closer proximity meant he had a chance to convince his wife not to push for the annulment. He just wasn't sure how.
What he needed was a plan. A course of action. Step one... Making sure they stayed in the same room for more than a few minutes at a time. Then he would... What? He didn't have the slightest idea how to go about charming a woman, least of all one who would rather toss him to the wolves than be near him. No. He smiled wryly. Rain loved animals. She wouldn't throw him to the wolves lest they choke on one of his bones; she would mince him and feed him to starving mongrels in the streets.
He hadn't realised he was moving until he found himself standing outside the door to Rain's chambers. What should he say? Would she listen? The possibility of her slamming the door in his face was a definite possibility. The door suddenly opened, interrupting his chain of thought as he faced his wife. She jumped back, obviously startled to find him loitering outside her chambers.
"I beg your pardon," he said, willing his racing heart to calm down. Being near her always affected him. It had always been like that, ever since he first laid eyes on her.
"You surprised me." She brushed back a lock of her dark hair, bringing back memories of how soft it had been to his touch the few times he had kissed her during their courtship. Like dark silk. "Did you want something?"
The inquisitive look on her face reminded him he was there for a reason. "Ah yes." He cleared his throat. "I need a favour."
Her eyes immediately narrowed, and he recognised the glow of anger in their dark blue depths. "A favour? I'm not sure I owe you any favours. Especially after you shot down my request earlier."
"I realise that." Frustration coursed through him. He should be better at this. Better at talking to people. "But surely you cannot expect me to agree to an annulment?"
"Why not?" she asked coolly. "It's not as if we don't fulfil the requirements."
Anger sparked in him. "I may not have—" he started sharply, but seeing a maid coming down the hall, he ushered Rain into her room and followed, closing the door behind him for some privacy. "We may not have had our wedding night," he continued hotly. "But that is a far cry from me being impotent."
"You could be." She stubbornly crossed her arms over her chest.
"No," he bit out.
"Who is to say you're not?" she ventured, and he suspected she goaded him on purpose now. It worked.
"I do!" he snapped. "I say that I am not impotent, and I will not stand up in court and say that I am. A lot of things I would do for you, Miranda, but I won't do that."
She was regarding him with an unreadable expression on her face. It frustrated him, because she was usually an open book, even to him. She was an emotional person who could rarely hide how she felt.
"What?" he asked tersely. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"I think this is the first time I've seen you exhibit feelings since we got married," she said, then added sarcastically, "I'm glad to see the topic of your potency is something you care so deeply about."
"Just because I don't necessarily show them, it doesn't mean I don't have feelings, Miranda."
"Obviously," she retorted dryly. "You are showing quite a few right now. More than you did at the prospect of our marriage ending."
His anger drained like water through a leaky bucket. Rubbing the back of his neck with his hand, he shook his head slightly. "I don't know what you want from me. You have made it clear repeatedly that you want nothing to do with me, and I have respected your wishes. Yet you want me to exhibit feelings when you ask to end our marriage?"
"Yes!" she burst out, starting to angrily pace the room. "I'm not saying it makes sense, but yes! Emotions aren't logical. You cannot predict them. No matter how much you may try. And unlike you, I cannot suppress mine!"
"I..." He wasn't sure what to say. What could he say?
She stopped pacing to stand in front of him. Being a head shorter, she had to crane her neck to meet his eyes. It didn't make her any less daunting. "I know our marriage is a sham. You married me for money, I know that. But I was somehow hoping... Wishing..."
She fell silent, her eyes straying away from his as her anger seemed to dissipate. If only he could undo the past. He had hurt her terribly; he knew that. And she had hurt him terribly in return. Was their marriage even worth saving? He didn't know. But he knew he didn't want it to end. Didn't want her to not be his wife. And he most certainly did not want the world thinking he was impotent.
"If it helps," he said slowly, "I was angry when you said you wanted an annulment. And not only because of the implied impotence."
The shadow of a smile grazed her lips. "It doesn't matter." She shrugged. "I don't know why it bothered me in the first place."
Deep down, he hoped it was because she still felt something for him. Even if only a sliver. That maybe there was still a chance for them.
"What favour did you want to ask?" She walked the few steps over to her vanity and picked up a silver brush, rolling it around in her hand. He hoped she wasn't considering throwing it at his head.
"Forget the favour," he muttered. "I would like to propose a deal."
Her head shot up, and her brows knotted. "A deal?"
"Allow me a chance to... to..." He swallowed. To what? He didn't have a plan yet, but he had better come up with one quickly. "A chance to save this marriage."
It was obvious his response had surprised her as her eyes widened. "Why would you even want to?"
"I think we both know that neither an annulment nor a divorce would look good for either of us."
"Of course," she muttered sardonically. "We must uphold our stellar reputation." Before he could argue the point, she sighed. "What is your proposal?"
"Ten kisses."
"What?"
They stared at each other. He wasn't entirely sure where he'd come up with that number, but it was a nice even one. "If you will allow me ten kisses to try to convince you to stay in this marriage, then I will—"
"You will agree to reconsider your stance on the annulment," she cut in.
He ground his teeth together but forced himself to nod.
"If we do this," she continued. "You must spend time with me. There will not simply be ten random kisses. We will attend social events together, and you have to act like a husband."
As much as he disliked the social scene, he could agree to that. It worked in his favour since he wanted her close by to make sure she was safe until the list was recovered.
"Fine," he said.
She smiled and reached out her hand. "Deal."
After a brief moment, he took it in his and shook it. "Deal," he murmured before turning on his heel, leaving the room.
Flexing his hand, which still felt warm after touching hers, he made his way towards his office. There was no way he could ever allow her an annulment. He liked to think it was because of his pride, but he suspected that was only part of the reason he didn't want their marriage to end. Somehow, he needed to ensure that annulment was no longer an option. Which meant he would have to do the impossible; he would have to seduce his wife.
~~~~~~