Aylin's POV
Since we planned on doing a double mission of going to Rainbow's End and completing our outing with a sundowner at the beach, Zayn was disciplined enough to go to bed at exactly 10pm last night.
I, on the other hand, could not fall asleep until at least an hour later. Despite being a scaredy cat during the movie, he was able to forget about his paranoia as soon as his head hit the pillow.
I'll always envy people who can do that, but it gave me time to just stare at him in awe as he so peacefully got some slumber, in a non-creepy way.
My alarm woke me at 8 sharp this morning, and instead of waking up beside my boyfriend, I was greeted by another sticky note pasted on my forehead, which Zayn used to inform me that he's going out for a stroll and will be back by 9.
I don't know what time he left, and I wish he was a little bit more specific with where he's going or what he has to do, because if it's just a regular morning stroll, I would've loved to join him.
But whatever he's been up to, it gave me time to shower and get dressed. I won't bother making up the bed since we fell asleep on the mattress that's still on the floor. He can deal with that.
Once I've slipped into a blue sundress with my bikini underneath, I head to the kitchen to prepare omelettes for the two of us, hoping that he returns soon so it doesn't get cold.
Luna gives me a call while I crack the eggs, gushing about how Jack bought her some cute anklet last week.
"Smart gift." I smile at her, "Is it because it's easily hide-able?"
"Duh." She lays back on her bed, "I think it's official official now."
"Gifts involved... I'd say it's getting there. Did he ask you yet?"
"Not yet, but—"
"Luna." I give her a look.
"No, listen!" She interrupts, "He's not seeing other girls so..."
"No buts. He has to ask you."
"He's so shy." She groans, "What if he never does? I don't wanna be the one to ask him."
"Don't do that." I warn her, "When I visit, I have to have a proper conversation with this guy. Zayn was actually the one who pointed it out to me that you liked him."
"Of course he did. Nothing gets past him." She rolls her eyes, "When last have you heard from Zayn?"
I can't hide my smile when she mentions his name. This is the first time we've caught up this week, so she's unaware that he's here.
"He's been here since Friday."
Her eyes widen briefly, "What? Are you guys back together?"
I nod as I add the chopped up peppers and seasoning to the mixture.
"No way." She gapes at me.
"Yes way." I add everything to the pan.
"Hmm..." she ponders, "That explains a lot."
"What do you mean?" I try to suppress my smile, assuming she'd mention how I'm being extra chirpy, or the fact that I haven't posted anything on Instagram.
Instead, she gestures to her cleavage, so I look down at mine that has a very evident hickey on it.
Instantly, I move the phone and decide on holding it while I cook, "That was the curling iron."
"If you don't want people seeing your burn mark, maybe wear a bra with your low-cut T-shirts." She suppresses a laugh, "Just a suggestion."
I adjust my top, "Maybe you can stop pointing out things like that."
"I don't know why you're acting all embarrassed. I know you have sex. I'd be worried if you weren't."
"Luna!" I scold, "Don't. That's weird."
"What, did you think I thought you guys got back together and just hugged it out?"
I feel my face heat up, mortified by my younger sister's teasing. We may share a lot, but boundaries are needed sometimes.
"That better be what you and Jack do." I counter.
"He didn't even kiss me yet. Relax." Luna rolls her eyes.
"Good. Keep it that way."
"That smells so good." I hear Zayn's voice, so I turn around, greeted by a beautiful bouquet of blue hydrangeas.
My heart melts at the gesture. It's one thing to never show up empty handed, but Zayn makes sure that every time he steps through this door, he's bringing me something. Whether that be himself, a coffee machine or flowers, he always goes above and beyond.
"Aww," I take it from him, inhaling the fresh, floral scent before giving him a big hug, "thank you. I love it! And you almost made me forget that you're a half hour late."
He hugs me back with one arm, and uses the other to grab the spatula and flip the omelette for me.
"I timed myself wrong. Sorry, love."
"Look at you two being all domestic." She teases.
"Hi, Luna." He smiles, tending to our breakfast while I pour the orange juice.
"I'm gonna love and leave you guys. I'll call you if Jack pisses me off again."
"What Jack do?" Zayn questions.
"He's just being a dïck head boy."
"Not that language." I hear dad's voice in the background.
"Hi, dad." I greet, but I don't think he hears me.
"What's this about that Jack boy?" He sits down on Luna's bed, oblivious to our presence.
"Dad, here's Aylin and Zayn." She changes the subject.
He looks at the screen, jaw falling to the floor dramatically when he sees Zayn with me.
"Zayn! What are you doing there!?"
I chuckle slightly, surprised by how overjoyed he is. I always knew dad had a soft spot for Zayn after all, but I think he realized that nobody else would ever treat me as well as he does. He wouldn't admit it on a regular day, but he can be unpredictable.
"Number one shipper over here." Luna teases, throwing her arm over dad's shoulder, "You'll come around for Jack too, huh old man?"
He looks her way, "That Jack boy is just your friend. That's what you told me. And who's your old man?"
I suppress my laugh when he starts going off in Turkish about how she's just a kid and something about how Westernized she is for talking to him like that.
I discreetly try to hang up, but he leaves shortly after.
"You have issues!" She whisper yells once he's out of her room, making me laugh since I did the same at her age, but without the whispering part.
"I'll talk to you later, Luna."
"Okay. Bye sis. Bye bro in law." She teases.
I roll my eyes, looking Zayn's way to see his reaction, but he's not paying attention as he adds the other batch of eggs.
"Bye." I hang up.
I look around the place for something that can act as a vase since I don't have any, and once I've found an empty jar, I fill it up and prep my bouquet accordingly.
"Want cheese on yours?" I hear him ask.
"No, thanks." I set the table for us, "Luna's gonna get an earful."
"I heard." He looks my way, "Sounded like an earful."
"You understood?"
"Just picked up on the tone, habibti."
I laugh at that, "Wrong parent. Wrong language. That was Turkish."
"Oh, oops. He was speaking really fast." He snorts, "Uh... aşkım?"
"There we go." I watch as as he gathers our plates in the kitchen and brings it over to the table.
I'm trying to ignore the very obvious cigarette stench lingering on his clothes, or the fact that he was late and left without saying much, but my anxious tendencies are getting the best of me.
Even though he's being himself, something still feels off this morning. It's always an internal battle with myself whether I should speak on it or not.
"Did you have a good stroll?"
"Yeah, it was nice and warm." He responds.
"Where'd you go?" I ask with a smile on my face.
He sits on the other side of the table, gaze focused on his plate, "Everywhere and nowhere. I kinda got lost on the way."
"You didn't have your phone?"
"I did, but I enjoyed the walk. Helped me clear my head."
There we go. I knew something was bothering him.
"Clear your head?" I look straight at him, waiting until he looks at me before I continue, "What's on your mind?"
He sighs heavily, poking his omelette with the fork mindlessly before taking a bite.
Though it looks delicious, I can feel my appetite diminishing by the second. The first thing that comes to mind is that his time in Auckland is coming to an end, and hearing him say it would crush me.
"Are you leaving?" I swallow hard.
"Not today." He smiles slightly.
"Tomorrow?"
"No."
"The next day?"
"Aylin." He places his hand atop mine, "Don't."
"Well, what's been bothering you?" I question, "You're making me nervous."
"It's nothing bad, promise."
"Is it about us?"
"You could say so."
I feel my shoulders fall, "You can't just say that and not tell me. Do you want me to drive myself crazy?"
"No," he lets go of my hand and starts digging in, "I just had a shït dream. I woke up in a bad mood because of it and didn't want it rubbing off on you."
I expel a sigh of relief.
"Too late though, I guess."
"No, I'm not in a bad mood." I assure him, "Just don't bottle things up, 'cause I can tell when you're doing it."
"You know me so well." He gives me an air kiss, "I don't wanna talk about it though. It was just a dream."
"Okay." I agree, since it'll just make me overthink whether it means anything.
We eat in a comfortable silence thereafter, both of us admiring the flowers and greenery, along with my wall art and canvas stacks. It's a bit of a clutter, but it gives the living room its character. This place is half the size of his.
"Are you going into work tomorrow or working from home?" He asks suddenly, reminding me that I actually have a job that I need to do, and that this isn't a holiday.
"Office, I think."
"Oh."
"Well, Lauren didn't say anything. She just said to come in when I feel better."
"And do you feel better?" He raises a brow at me.
"As far as she knows, no." I chuckle, "I'll try to stay home. I don't wanna go in while you're here."
"You sure I won't distract you?"
"I'll live."
That response earns a cheeky smile from Zayn, but I'm quick to shut it down.
"As long as you behave." I point my fork at him.
...
I might have underestimated just how afraid Zayn is of carnival rides. I don't know if it's the height or speed, but he's reluctant to go on almost every one of them.
"We don't have to do this one." I give his hand a squeeze since it's entwined with mine, and clammy from nerves.
"No, no. I want to." He says confidently, though his shivers can be felt.
I look up at the Fearfall ride. I think this is the worst one. Carnival goers slowly go up, high up, and then it just drops. My stomach is already turning, but I'm excited nonetheless.
Zayn's cheeks puff up as he exhales, bouncing his leg as we witness the drop and shrieks.
"Hey, I'm serious." I swing our hands, "Let's go on something else."
"Just so you can call me a püssy again?" He scoffs playfully, "No way."
I smile slightly, "No, I don't want us feeling sick. We just had corn dogs."
"You make a good point."
We move out of the line, and continue walking throughout the park. One more step in that line would've made his blood run cold, I'm certain.
I don't know if it's because he was nervous anticipating the rides today, or whether it's the dream that shook him, but he's been oddly quiet still.
"How about the Ferris wheel?"
He looks up at it, probably intimidated by the height, and turns us around.
"How about bumper cars instead?"
"Sure." I smile as he leads the way.
I'm starting to feel bad for dragging him along, but at the same time, I don't want to point it out again and make a big deal out of nothing, if it is nothing.
"What time's your friend getting here?" He questions.
Maybe that's what this is about. Maybe he's nervous to meet Naija thinking she might dislike him for some reason.
"I think she's already here." I look around, hoping to spot her amongst the other hundreds of people here today.
He doesn't say anything else, just strolls along with me absentmindedly.
I can't hold it in. Fück my life.
"Hey." I nudge him, "How can I make your day better?"
He looks my way, confused look on his face, "What do you mean?"
"If you want, we can ditch this place in an hour and head straight to the beach."
"No, why would we do that?" He smiles, "I wanna meet your new friends, and I want to eat carnival food and ride rides with you."
"You just seem a little distant today."
I feel like there's something he's not telling me. Could a dream have made him felt that bad? He said he didn't want to talk about it, so I shouldn't pry. I just hate that there's a sudden disconnect.
He ignores my comment, or pretends he doesn't hear me, and we continue walking.
Eventually, we stumble across Naija who's here with Emily and Sasha, both of whom I've met on Christmas.
I introduce them to each other, paying special attention to Naija's reaction. Her lips remain parted after shaking his hand. She eyes me, looks his way, and then back at me. From what she knows about him, I can't tell whether it's approval or not yet.
She pulls me aside not so discreetly and playfully swats my arm, "So this is why you've been quiet."
"I'm sorry." I wince, "I was barely on my phone since he came. He just showed up at my door."
Her eyes widen, "Without telling you?"
I nod, "We fixed things."
Her hand flings to her face, "Babe."
"We were already talking before that and said we'd talk properly in person. Since I can't go back in March, he couldn't wait." I explain, "C'mon, it's romantic."
She laughs dryly, but I take it she's just shocked.
"That was my reaction too."
"Okay, that's just crazy." She looks his way again where he's awkwardly standing there with his hands stuffed in his pocket, trying to keep up with chatty Sasha.
"Well, he is pretty crazy." I smile slightly.
"About you. Clearly." She states, coming in for a hug, "I think that's really sweet, actually. And I'm happy for you."
"Thank you." I hug her back, a breath of relief hitting me, "I was worried it might be awkward today."
"Never. So what ride are we going on?" Naija asks the group.
"We were thinking bumping cars." He grabs my hand.
"Oh, yes!" She cheers, "That'll be fun."
"The line is longer for the Ferris wheel though." Emily points out, "Maybe it'll be better to go on there before the clouds steal all the good lighting."
Personally, I don't care about which ride we go on first. I'm just here to have fun with my friends and spend some quality time with Zayn. However, he doesn't look all that thrilled after Emily's suggestion.
"That's a good point." Naija agrees.
"It is." Sasha looks our way, so I look at him.
He smiles, but I can tell it's forced.
"Yeah, let's do that." Zayn chimes in, "Bumper cars after though."
"Definitely!" Naija grabs my other hand, "So, Zayn... I've heard loads about you."
A smile takes over his face, looking from me to Naija, "Heard a lot about you too. I hope what you heard was as nice as the things I was told about you."
She puts her hand to her heart, cooing, "Aww, you said nice things about me?"
"Why is that shocking?" I laugh.
"The tough lovin' I give you sometimes can be a bit much."
"Yeah, but I need that. I don't get that from this one." I gesture towards Zayn.
"Oh, a softie?" She looks over at him, "You do give me the quiet, sensitive, broody type."
He chuckles, "You got all that from a few seconds?"
"She's not wrong." I give him a look, trying to stop myself from kissing his cheek for the hundredth time today while we're in a group setting.
He looks my way knowingly, shooting me an adorable smile.
...
After a fun day of carnival rides, good company and tons of pictures, Zayn and I decided to ditch Rainbow's End a bit earlier so that we'd get to the beach while there's still some sun out.
It's also worth noting that his mood has significantly lifted since then.
"Are you wearing sunscreen?" I ask him as he lays on my crossed legs, face covered with my hat.
"I don't think you want the answer to that." He reveals his face, "Forgot..."
"Of course you did." I grab the bottle and squirt some out on his chest.
"I can't wait to be nice and brown again."
I laugh at his comment, "Yeah, you had that winter paleness."
"I always look like that. The only time I go out is for work or to walk my dogs."
"Well, you walk everywhere now. If you're still car-less by Summer, you'll be two-toned."
He chuckles as I apply the sunscreen to his chest area while he rubs it over his stomach and arms.
"Shoulders too." He points out.
"Is that an order?" I lean over him, raising my brow playfully.
He smiles, "Please."
"Better." I peck his lips.
His cheeks are rosy from today's heat. At first, I found it cute, but taking a closer look, it seems it might be sunburn. I'll have to fix that later.
He holds his hand out for more and applies it to his face, while I rub it into his shoulders. Zayn, however, thinks that it's a massage since he keeps telling me to do it harder.
"I fùcked up my back on that rollercoaster."
"You were so tense." I point out, "Old man."
"I am old. I told you." He smiles.
"Well, you seem like you're in a better mood at least."
He opens his eyes, "I wasn't ever in a bad mood."
"No, but you're in a better one."
"Well, it was nice meeting them, but I just needed to be alone with you again." He pauses, "I'm not going to be in Auckland for much longer, so I just want to make the most of it."
Within a split second, my mood plummets. I was dreading those words since he first arrived.
"I understand." I place my extra pair of sunglasses on his face, "You just had to say so and I would've got us out of there with a smooth exit."
"I don't know. Telling them I'm about to blow chunks was pretty smooth."
I chuckle, "It was the first thing that came to mind."
"It was really nice meeting them though. They seem cool- especially Naija. I can see why you're so close."
I know it's corny, but I'm starting to believe that there's truth in the saying everything happens for a reason. If it weren't for my leave getting rejected, Zayn wouldn't have been here, and he wouldn't have witnessed the life I'm trying to adjust to with his own eyes.
There's something about him being here that makes it feel like my two worlds not only collided, but can also coexist, and hopefully be in sync from now onwards.
"Yeah, Naija's the best."
"Bit of a drinker though, that one." He laughs.
"Tell me about it." I shake my head, "She just likes having fun."
He sighs, slight smile on his face still as we bathe in the weakening sun rays. It shouldn't be too long until it starts setting.
"Do you plan on getting in the water?" I ask him since he looks a little too comfortable.
"Yeah, of course."
"Really?"
"If by that you mean put my toes in, then yes."
"I thought as much." I laugh, looking out at the white sand and crashing waves along the horizon.
"So after yesterday's chat..." he starts, sitting up, "We're sure we're gonna do this, yeah?"
I freeze in my spot, "Yeah. I thought we knew this."
"Yeah, we did, but I just wanted to be sure that this is what you want too."
"Are you getting cold feet?" I inquire, trying to hold in any defensiveness that so badly wants to spill out, "I thought I was pretty clear that there's nothing I want more." I tell him, making sure my tone is gentle.
"Me too. I just wanted to make sure I'm not pressuring you into anything just because I came out here and make sure that you're also one hundred percent sure—"
"A thousand percent." I frown slightly.
Is this what was bothering him today?
He stands up, holding his hand out for me which I reluctantly take.
"Could you watch our blanket?" He asks the couple beside us, and once they agree, we walk off hand in hand.
"Is this why you were all in your head today?" I ask him, "Do you think I don't want this? It sounds like you're trying to talk me out of it, which I don't get. I'm not pressured." I chuckle, but I'm not amused, "I've always wanted this. Now more than ever actually."
He inhales sharply, looking out at the sun that starts moving closer to the ocean.
"Isn't it crazy how the rest of the world will only live today, tomorrow?"
Leave it to Zayn to change the subject when having a serious conversation.
"Yeah, that's crazy." I step in front of him, "But can you stop being cryptic, please?"
He smiles slightly, hands on my waist as he walks forward. The water reaches my shins now, and because I'm still in my dress, I try to stop him. He has no shame trapping me in the shower, who's to say he won't push me in fully clothed?
"You need to chill." He chuckles.
"Stop." I grab his forearms, cracking a smile as the water starts rising slowly, "I swear I'll splash you."
"Okay." He smiles, and finally stops, "I just want us both to acknowledge that it won't be easy, but it will be different. This time we'll actually try."
I nod, "Yeah, I thought about it all. Five months is a while, but it's better than a whole year of not seeing you."
He takes my hand and walks me back to the sand once the waves start acting up again.
"I don't want to leave here with any regrets, and with long distance, it's all about having something to look forward to." He pulls me in under his arm as the water pools around our ankles, "If this is how it's like every time we reunite, it's worth it."
I smile slightly, "Yeah, it definitely can be."
"And I know you said you felt torn between staying or leaving, because of your homesickness, but whatever you decide, I support you always."
"I know you do." I can't help but laugh.
It's not unlike him to randomly spill his heart out, but he's still acting strange. Not in a bad way, but it feels like he has a point he's trying to make with all this blabbering.
"Why are you laughing?" He grins.
"I don't know! You tell me."
He laughs as well, "I don't know why you're laughing."
"Because you're acting weird." I shake him, trying to break this weird, lingering tension that's been there since this morning.
He stops in his tracks suddenly, causing me to stop as well. He looks to his right at our blanket in the distance, where everyone else is sat.
There's barely anyone in the water but surfers since the water here is freezing, but I barely noticed it since this awkward man beside me has been acting extra strange today.
When I look his way again, my stomach drops. He's on his knee, taking my hand in his and making my heart beat like a drum on steroids in my chest.
Holy fùcking shít. This explains everything.
"Like I said, no pressure." He looks up at me, sheepish smile on his face before he bites down on his lip, gaging my reaction as I stand there in shock, "I just can't go back with regrets if I didn't have the courage..." He lets out a nervous chuckle, "This is definitely the most nerve-wrecking thing I've ever had to do."
"God, you really are crazy." I tell him, my voice barely audible.
"Yeah." He nods frantically, sucking in a breath, "There's nothing I want more than to be with you forever. I know that's a bold statement, but it's true. I'll never break your heart again. I love you so much."
"I love you, too." I swallow hard, unable to breathe properly as he digs into the pocket of his shorts.
"And I know there's a huge possibility that you're not on the same page yet, and I'd understand if you're not ready yet, or prefer we do this a year or two from now, or whenever-"
"Just ask me." I blurt out, impatient by his rambling. The more he talks, the harder it gets to even fathom what's happening.
"Will you marry me?" He holds a beautiful ring out, the precious stones catching the sunset with a stunning shimmer.
"Yes, of course." I respond in disbelief, watching as he slides the ring on my finger.
As soon as he's on two feet again, one hand wraps around my waist and the other on my cheek as he comes in for a kiss that I respond to instantly, though my brain is still fuzzy from what just happened.
We're engaged. What the hell!?
His other hand falls to my hip as well and he spins me around, hugging me tight.
"I can't believe this." I press my lips to his again, "How's this happening?"
He puts me down, grinning from ear to ear as he throws his head back, "I can't believe you actually said yes."
"Me neither." I laugh, stepping closer to wipe a single happy tear that found its way down his cheek, "Look who's crying now."
He sniffs, still smiling bright, "You're an asshòle."
"That'll be me when it finally sinks in."
He entwines his hand with mine again, lifting it slightly to admire the ring on my finger with a smug look on his face.
"You got the whole give you something to look forward to thing down to a T." I grab his forearm with my free hand, leaning into him as the reality slowly dawns on me.
He sits down on the towel again, pulling me into his lap and wraps a blanket around the both of us.
"I'm tempted to call my mum and tell her you said yes, but I didn't even tell them I'm here." He laughs.
"Oh my God. My parents are gonna lose their minds."
He shakes his head, "They know."
"They know?!"
"You think I'd go ahead without your dad's blessing?" He gives me a look.
This morning's video call with Luna... I thought he seemed a bit exaggeratedly surprised that Zayn was here. All the pieces finally start falling into place.
I stare at him with complete adoration as he scoots closer to brush sand off my leg.
With all my anxieties and indecisiveness throughout these past few months, I've never been more sure about anything like I am about spending the rest of my life with him.
I know that I can wholeheartedly trust the man beside me, who I know will always be beside me. The love of my life, my person, my fiancé.
A/N
Thoughts? 💍 👀
He was trying to do this since getting to NZ 😅
Vote goal: 85 votes on this and the last chapter ✨
I'll be answering the questions you guys asked on the "Questions" chapter on Wednesday 🥰🙏🏼 you may still ask some before then!