[The scene opens up at night as the campers are seen sitting in front the Theatre Camp. David then walks on to the stage]
David: Okay, campers. Quiet down, everyone please. [The campers continue to speak] Please, the theater demands your utmost respect-[Gwen interrupts David with a megaphone]
Gwen: SHUT YOUR YAPS, IT'S TIME FOR THE PLAY!
David: Ahem, thank you Gwen.
Gwen: DON'T MENTION IT! [Walks off stage]
David: (Smiling)Tonight's presentation is brought to you by theater camp's very own: Preston Goodplay! [The campers unexcitingly clap as Preston comes walking onto the stage bowing]
Preston: Thank you, thank you. It is with great pleasure that I welcome tonight's production. Written and directed, of course, by me. It is a classic tale of of forbidden love, betrayal, and friendship. So without further ado I present to you: Romeo and Juliet II: Love Resurrected! [Preston bows once again walking away as the campers weakly clap]
Quartermaster: [Cough]
[Backstage]
Max (In a wizard costume): This is absolutely humiliating. [He pulls on the fake beard of his wizard costume]
Y/n (In a vampire costume): Tell me about it. There's not even a vampire in Romeo and Juliet.
Neil (In a cyborg costume): What a waste of time. I could be working on that flame-thrower right now.
Nikki (In a Juliet costume): I hate being Juliet! I wanna be someone cool, like Xena or Rambo!
Max: (Points at Neil) You nervous about your big kiss scene. [Does a smoochy face]
Neil: Don't remind me! I'm already freaking out!
Nikki: Y'know Juliet should've just done karate instead of kissing boys. [Does a karate chop] HIYAH! Maybe she wouldn't have died then. [They all stare at Nikki until David runs past them]
David: Has anyone seen my phone? I must have dropped it when I was doing my smile exercises.
Gwen: Don't admit that. [Max smirks as they leave and pulls out David's phone]
Max: Hehehe!
Nikki: (Smiling) Is that David's phone?
Max: Pipe down, I'm checking his...Oh my god he has a Tinder account.
Y/n: (Walks up to Max holding in a laugh) No fucking way.
Nikki: Tinder? What's that?
Max: Oh, it's that dating app for losers who can't meet people in real life.
Nikki: Ohh, yeah! My dad used that when my mom left him...Again.
Neil: Guuyys, you're just adding to my anxiety! If you don't return the phone, I'm gonna have a panic attack (Points at Max) and that's on you.
Max: (Smiling) Oh man, he's got like seven pictures on his profile. Tch, can you say desperate?
Preston: (Appears out of nowhere) Wizard! You're about to get your cue! I will not have you ruffians RUIN MY BIG DEBUT! (Pushes Max) Now get!
[On the stage Space kid and Perry are seen acting]
Space Kid: I'm afraid we have no other choice we must turn to...Pause... [Nurf throws something on the stage causing a lighting effect] Black magic. [Max walks on stage]
Max: Yo, did someone say black magic?
Preston: [Face palms] Amatuers!
Space Kid: [Walks up to Max] Ahh, mighty wizard! Please revive our daughter, who died so foolishly.
Max: What's in it for me?
Space Kid: Ummuh, that's not your line...
Max: (Smirking) Yeah, I'm just messin'. Okay, one revived daughter comin' right up. [Raises hands in the air] Latinus speakitus revivedeadjuliettus. Man, who wrote this? [a cloud of smoke appears and Nikki in seen standing in a coffin]
Nikki: I'm baaaaack! [The curtain closes and Preston walks onto the stage]
Preston: That's the end of Act one. Intermission time. GO GET SOME SNACKS!
Max: (Smirking) Welp, that's it for me.
Preston: Thanks for your contribution. An inanimate object stuffed with hay could have acted better! Platypus, you're doing great! Stole the scene! Keep it up!
Perry: Muack!
Preston: [Walking off] Alright people, get your SHIT together!
[Neil and Y/n walk up to Max]
Max: You're up next. Break a leg buddies.
Neil: You're right!
Y/n: What?
Neil: If I'm injured, I can't perform! Hit me! Hit me hard! It's gotta look convincing!
Y/n: Okay. [Y/n punches him in the gut causing him to throw up and fall to the ground. Max takes a picture of Y/n on David's phone and starts changing his Tinder account. He finishes and looks a Y/n]
Max: Damn, you've got one hell of a punch.
Y/n: I got it from my dad.
Max: What is he a boxer?
Y/n: No, he's a drunken addict. [Max stares at Y/n]
Max: Oh...Preston, Neil threw up and is knocked out.
Preston: Damnit! Y/n, you're taking his place! [Two figures are seen behind the curtains, they reveal themselves to Sasha and Tabii from the Flower Scouts]
Tabii: There he is! Look at him in that vampire costume. God, he's so HAWT!
Sasha: [Irritated] He's mine, Tabii!
Tabii: Oh, look how the sweat on his upper lip glistens in the moonlight.
Sasha: I can't believe we came all the way to this hella gross camp just to see him. I mean it was worth it, but do you see this camp? There's like dirt everywhere.
Tabii: Our love is forbidden just like Romeo and Juliet's. But we will be together even if it cost us our lives. UGH! It's so romantic, I want to die!
Sasha: What did I tell you Tabii? He's mine.
Tabii: Whatever. I know he wants my bod. I'm gonna make that kissing scene so hot, it'll be TV Y 7. He will be mine! [Walks off into the darkness; Erin appears with Starbucks]
Erin: Back from the snack bar!
Sasha: Ooh, did you get my pumpkin spice?
Erin: Totes.
[Act 2 of the play start]
[Dolph, in a mad scientist outfit is standing next to Y/n, who is laying on a table now as a cyborg vampire due to him you know knocking Neil out]
Dolph: At long last, mein creation is complete! Be reborn! [Dolph pulls a lever lifting the table Y/n is on]
Y/n: [Robotically] Systems startup. Ah Ah Ah. Installing Windows update.
Dolph: Yes! Rise! Rise und be reborn Robo-Vamp-Romeo.
Y/n: The breath of life is returning to me. Pray tell, Friar Lawrence, where is my Juliet? (Mumbles) These lines fucking suck.
Dolph: It appears, my son, in her sorrow, she killed herself.
[Y/n steps from the table]
Y/n: I will never be able to see my Juliet again. As my curse of a fucking robotic vampire, rids me of death. [Cheery music plays confusing both Dolph and Y/n]
Preston: Yes! He is killing it! Good work too, Nurf. [ Preston walks off as Nikki sniffs the air]
Nikki: Ugh. What smells likes daisies?
???: Wow. Nikki? You're like such a good actor.
Nikki: Oh, thank you, ominous offscreen voice-Wait a minute-GAH! [Sasha, Erin, and Tabii all grab Nikki; pulling her away] Somebody help me!
[Max then walks by smirking, looking at David's phone]
Max: Oh hello Bonquisha. Yes, I will swipe right.
[Back to the Play]
[Y/n is seen standing on some rocks posing]
Y/n: I may practically dead, but my heart is still very much alive. But why should that matter, if my sweet Juliet is no more. Why should I be brought back, when my love has been taken away from me?
Tabii: Fret not, Robo-Vamp-Romeo. [Y/n turns around confused to see Tabii in the Juliet costume]
Y/n: What the fuck are you doing here? Aren't you that Tabii girl?
Tabii: No, yon fool. I'm Juliet, your one true love. [Climbs closer to Y/n, who backs up] Doth you not remember? I am no spectre. [Climbs closer] I have been revived!
[Backstage]
Preston: I don't know who this bitch is, but she is killing it! Ah!
[Back to the Play]
Tabii: [Pulls Y/n's arm] Oh, Robo-Vamp-Romeo, soon the evil empire will be upon us and you'll have to fight to save the galaxy. [Y/n pulls his arm away] Let us kiss one last time, before you possibly die in battle. [She starts making kissing noises while gradually getting closer to Y/n]
Y/n: (Thinking and slowly walking backwards) The audacity of this crazy motherfucker.
[The campers along with Gwen and David look on in anticipation, well besides Erid and Nerris, who look slightly jealous]
Preston: Yes! Yes! [Tabii's lips are damn near touching Y/n's until a voice interrupts the scene]
???: Who the hell is this hoe?! [A tall, black, and slightly buff lady is seen on the stage staring at Y/n and Tabii]
Y/n: (Visibly confused) W-What? Who the fuck are you?
Bonquisha: Don't you who are you me, David. You call yourself a conquistador. I thought we had meaningful texts..I told you my age, sex, and location
Y/n: [Very confused and slightly scared] W-What?
Gwen: (Widely smiling) Oh my god.
Tabii: Uh, excuse me? Who's this?
Y/n: Bitch, I don't know! And I barley fucking know who you are!
Bonquisha: Well, David, explain yourself.
Y/n: I'M NOT FUCKING DAVID! I AIN'T GOT SHIT TO EXPLAIN!
Tabii: (Mad) He's my Romeo! [Hops down] You best step off before I rip that weave off your head.
Bonquisha: [Takes earrings off] Oh, you wanna go, little girl? [Tabii launches at Bonquisha and they immediately start fighting]
Y/n: WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?!
[Gwen looks at the fight with pure happiness]
David: I need to stop this.
Gwen: Why? This is awesome. Whoo! You go girl!
[Backstage, Max looks at the fighting smiling while Preston stands there in shock]
Max: Oh man, this is going better than I could have hoped!
Preston: [Angrily pointing at Max] You! You did this! You little rat!
Max: Of course I did. Your play's stupid, Preston. [David pops up]
David: Max! What is this?
Max: Oh hey David! Uh, found your phone. [Hands David his phone, David smiles]
Preston: I'm not sure how this can get any worse. [Police sirens are heard as two agent step on stage as the Bonquisha has pinned Tabii's head onto the ground getting ready to punch her]
Agent #2: Nobody move. We've pinpointed some questionable searches from a phone in this area.
Agent #1: Such searches include how to blow up a summer camp, super murder plot, and what do boobies look like? [David looks at his phone]
David: Ah, dangit.
Agent #2: [Points at David] There he is!
Agent #1: Get him! [They run at David]
Preston: [On the ground] The theatre! The cruelest mistress of all! My career! Like the mistake of so many teenage girls, has been aborted. [The agents walks past Preston dragging David]
Agent #2: You're going away for a long time, buddy.
David: You can't take me to prison. I've been framed! I'm like just Steven Avery!
Max: (Sighs) Wait. I can fix this. Everyone stop. [Everyone on the stage, stops what they're doing and looks at Max]
Agent #2: Who is this wizkid?
Max: Bonquisha, I'm sorry. You were texting me all along. I took David's phone just to mess with him. I led you on. [Bonquisha gets up]
Bonquisha: Oh, nobody plays Bonquisha like that.
Gwen: Kick his ass!
David: Max, shame on you. My apologies ma'am. [Tabii sits up folding her arms]
Tabii: What about me? Where's my apology?
Max: I'm gonna be honest, I'm not sure who you are. Anyways, Y/n you're probably midly confused.
Y/n: I am.
Max: After you punched Neil, I took a picture of you and used it as David's profile picture. Sorry.
Y/n: I would be mad if that prank wasn't fucking amazing.
Agent #2: Well, the kid apologized.
Agent #1: I'd say he learned a lesson.
Agent #2: Affirmative. [The agent release David]
David: Ow!
Agent #2: [Points at David] You in charge here?
David: Uh, kinda?
Agent #2: Hmm. What's this here? [Points at Y/n] Why do you got cool kid in your theatre camp?
Y/n: Why thank you.
Agent #1: Are you guys running some kind of camp scam?
David: [Stands up] Oh, no sirs. Nothing morally grey going on here.
Agent #2: Fair enough. Since we have you here, [Agent #1 pulls out a picture of Campbell pouring "Incriminating Evidence" into a fire] have you seen this man?
David: [Rubbing his arm] Oh, uh, I've been told to tell you no.
Agent #1: [Puts picture away] I can't argue with that.
Agent #2: [Walking off] Let's get out of here. [Tabii runs up to Y/n]
Tabii: Oh, Robo-Vamp-Romeo. Alas, doomed by the tricks of this wizard and life without my sweet Romeo is a life not worth living. [Grabs carboard dagger] Oh, happy dagger, blah blah blah. Kill me. [Fake stabs herself]
Bonquisha: Damn right.
Y/n: Fuck it, I'm leaving. Ya'll motherfuckers are going to give me a migraine. [Walks off stage and the curtains close as Preston walks on stage]
Preston: Attention, fellow campers. I would just like to apologize for the sheer absurdness that you've witnessed. Please be kind as you judge this play and if you happen to be form Rotten Tomatoes, please rate fresh! [Bows] Thank you.
[All booing and throwing tomatoes and popcorn]
Preston: No please! I was setting up a trilogy!
Gwen: Give up your dream!
[Backstage]
Max: (Smiling) Well, that all worked out.
David: You have got some serious explaining to do!
Max: I stole your phone and identity and played with women's hearts. What do you need explained? [David is about to say something until Bonquisha walks up and interrupts him]
Bonquisha: Excuse me, sugar. You owe Bonquisha a date.
David: (Wide eyed) I-but-that wasn't-
Bonquisha: Nuh-uh, somebody's going out with bonquisha one way or another. [Bonquisha grabs David and starts walking away]
David: Guh! Wait! Can't we just be friends? [Max turns around to see Sasha and Erin drag Tabii]
Sasha: Sorry about our friend.
Erin: Yeah, she's the dumb one. Oh, and Uh tell Y/n I said Hi~ [Neil walks up to Max]
Neil: Ugh. Why am I so sweaty? What did I miss?
Max: An Oscar-worthy performance by yours truly.
Neil: They don't give Oscars for stage performances.
Max: That's how good it was, even Nikki would be impressed.
Neil: Huh. Where is Nikki?
[It cuts to Nikki, who was once tide upside down, riding on Y/n's back]
Nikki: Woohoo!
Y/n: (Sighs) The things I do for love. (Please someone get this reference)
A/n: Wassup yall, hope you liked that chapter and have a good day.