It's pretty easy for Magnus to tell that Alec isn't having a good time at his place. Alec is practically miserable. And the warlock is doing all he can to make sure he isn't miserable during his stay. Magnus hadn't even asked for Alec to stay with him until his wings are fully grown. Did he mind? Not one bit.
The first full day with Alec awake is quiet. Magnus doesn't have much work to do, so he's able to keep an eye on the Shadowhunter throughout most of the day. A few times, Alec would become uncontrollable due to pain. During these times, Magnus would step up and use his magic to take away the other's pain.
Whenever Magnus uses his magic to help Alec with the pain, a fraction of the pain is transferred to the warlock. He does his best to hide it, especially since Alec is feeling much more of the pain. Although the constant use of his magic and pain, Magnus becomes tired quite quickly.
After the third time in one hour, Magnus makes his way over to the chair across from where Alec was staying and sits himself down, looking exhausted.
Alec glances over at him. "You look just as terrible as I feel," he comments, earning a chuckle from Magnus.
"Yeah, well." Magnus agrees, giving a small shrug. "Too much magic at one time. It'll pass." He flashes a small, assuring smile.
The Shadowhunter gives a weak smile in return.
From then on, Alec doesn't seem as bothered to be stuck in Magnus Bane's apartment. His mood started to break up, now that he doesn't have to stay mad at everyone in his life. Plus, the warlock is only trying to help. This, Magnus is happy to notice. The two don't know each other that well, and Magnus guesses Alec isn't interested in him in the way Magnus is interested in Alec. Now, though, Alec seems willing to get to know the warlock. A platonic bond seems the intent, and Magnus is okay with that. A bit disappointed that it won't be more. A platonic bond is better than no bond.
The second full day Alec is awake, Magnus is more busy. There's already been one person come in and request that the high warlock do something for them.
A knock on the door causes Alec, whom Magnus had introduced to the show 'Supernatural', to turn and look over from his spot on the couch. From the other room, Magnus calls out to whoever is knocking. "Come in!"
The door opens and a woman walks in. She looks at Alec, who hasn't worn a shirt in days, and stares at him. Magnus appears, walking out from the other room. The warlock clears his throat and the woman snaps out of her trance before looking at Magnus.
"Magnus. Hi." The woman greets.
The warlock nods. "Hi, Mil. What can I do for you?" He asks and Alec notices the small hint of dislike in Magnus' voice.
Mil grins at him. "Oh, can't I just stop by and say hi to a friend?"
Magnus' eyes narrow. He scoffs before saying, "you aren't my partner anymore, Seelie. You certainly aren't a friend either. So unless you need me to do something for you, you can get out of my house."
"Fine, fine. Still so irritated." Mil rolls her eyes. "And, yes, I do need something from you."
"Spit it out," demands Magnus, getting annoyed.
The female chuckles at his annoyance. "I need a potion made. My group's home is being attacked. We suspect by a warlock. I— we need something that will hide us from intruders. I need you to make it for me. There's no one else I know who can."
Magnus sighs. "I'll see what I can do."
The Seelie nods. "Thank you." She eyes Alec again before turning and leaving.
As the door closes behind Mil, Alec looks over to Magnus and raises an eyebrow. "Who was that?" He asks, an amused tone in his voice.
The warlock huffs a single laugh. "That was Mil Ackerman. A Seelie. Whom I used to date. But that relationship is over and will not being coming back." He rolls his eyes. "She lives with a group of other seelies and is their 'leader'. They live in the woods, hidden from the mundanes." Magnus looks over at Alec. "You aren't going to go running to the Institute and inform everyone of Mil's location, are you? We may not have a good connection now, but I do my best to not betray my kind."
"I won't," Alec promises.
Magnus nods. He takes a breath before clapping his hands together. "I should get working on that potion. Are you good here? Not too painful right now?"
The Shadowhunter shakes his head. "Not too much pain," he confirms.
The rest of the day goes by moderately smoothly. Alec only has a one uncontrolled freak out due to the pain from his growing wings. The stubs on his back are increasing in size, already growing to be a few inches of white bone off of Alec's back. Magnus had spent a majority of the rest of the day working on his potion for Mil and his other couple of requests. Magnus had made lasagna for dinner, which Alec quite enjoyed (although he would never say that).
Now, Alec lays in the guest room, still awake in the dark room. He's thinking to himself. Jace had texted him, explaining what he had missed at the Institute. Clary's friend was brought back as a vampire, his parents who were visiting were both worrying about Alec but were yet to visit.
His parents' resentment to visit him, hurt. Alec had confronted them about their previous partnership with the Circle. The things they told him... They thought they would be making things better, but in reality, they didn't. In fact, they made things worse. And now, they won't even visit him when he's hurt. All because his friends decided he should stay with a Downworlder. Mrs and Mr Lightwood, still with their idea that all Downworlers are below them and a waste of time. And maybe Alec and Magnus don't have the strongest friendship, but Alec sure as hell doesn't view Magnus as below him; not like his parents do.
Alec, annoyed now by the thoughts about his parents, jolts from surprise when he hears a muffled yell from the other room. The worst possible scenarios come to his mind when he hears the yell.
Ignoring the pain in his back, Alec gets out of bed. He grabs his Seraph Blade and leaves his room, hand trailing the wall as he walks so he doesn't fall in the darkness. Alec looks through Magnus' apartment, trying to find the source of the yell. He checks all the rooms, finding nothing. Alec passes the final room, the one he hasn't checked. Magnus' bedroom.
Hesitating, Alec pauses. He debates whether he should go in or not. The door to Magnus' room is opened an inch. The light is on inside. What harm could it do to just peak inside?
Alec takes a deep breath, grips his Seraph Blade and pushes the door open. The bedroom door swings open more than Alec intended. It's too late to turn back now. Alec looks inside to Magnus sitting up in his bed. The warlock is shaking, his face stained with tears and his eyes red.
When Magnus sees Alec at the doorway, he sits up taller, immediately trying to hide his emotions. "S-sorry, Alexander. Did I wake you?" His voice is raspy, like he's been crying quite a lot.
The Shadowhunter frowns at the other. "It's no problem," he says. Alec pauses, looking Magnus over. "Are you okay?" The question comes out before Alec can stop it.
Magnus almost looks touched by Alec's question and concern. Almost. "I'm fine, Alexander. You can go back to bed. You need to rest. Warlock's orders."
Alec, however, stays put. "You can tell me, you know. I'm not going to rat you out to the Clave. I promise."
There doesn't come a reply for a few moments. Magnus studies the other. "Okay, then.. I had a nightmare," Magnus admits simply. "That's all. No big deal."
Alec takes a small step further into Magnus' room. "Do you want to talk about it?" This was how Alec would always handle Izzy (and eventually Max) whenever his siblings had nightmares. As a big brother, and a protective one too, Alec knows how to approach these types of things.
"It's fine."
"You can't always push your emotions down and hide from them, Magnus," Alec says. "Especially when people are trying to and want to help you. I won't push you to talk about it, though." Alec turns to walk out of the room.
"I'm immortal," Magnus starts before Alec can leave the room. Magnus sighs to himself, his breathing becoming shaky again. "And my memory is incredibly good. I have lived centuries and I can remember just about every day. I... I have seen horrors. I-I have caused horrors, even. I remember every second of it." Magnus blinks back the tears that were returning to him.
Alec walks over and sits down next to him on the bed, placing his Seraph Blade down on the floor now that he knows there isn't a threat and Magnus isn't being murdered by a member of the Circle.
"In my lifetime, I have seen so much. People say to look on the bright side, only focus on the good memories. But I can't. And you're right, I push down my emotions. I run from my fears. I drink away my problems. Sex my way out of life's difficulties."
Magnus pauses, the warlock's throat feeling like its closing in on its self.
"I remember every person who has died. I remember their face, their name, their voice if I knew it. And— and they all just kept dying, or disappearing on me. And I could— I can do nothing to stop it." His voice breaks as he continues. "I work right now to help other people. All I do is work to help others. But I can never do enough. I can never be enough."
A sob wrecks from the warlock's body as he shakes. Alec sits there, letting him talk and cry it out.
"M-my dream.. It was everyone I've loved. Everyone I've lost. Their faces kept flashing. Their bodies appearing, all bloodied and destroyed just the same as when they were killed."
Magnus didn't— no, couldn't— add the fact that he saw Alec's dead body in his dream as well. Magnus has never seen Alec dead, he hopes he never will; but he knows that's unlikely. It still... It still haunts him, though. Magnus is scared to get close to Alec. Alec lives a dangerous life, and could be killed any day.
"It's not worth it. You love somebody, and then they die. It happens over and over again. A-and you start to think... Maybe you should just stop. Love isn't worth the pain."
Alec looks at Magnus. The warlock has tears running down his face again.
"I think," Alec starts, "that's what makes love worth it. Because if you know that pain will be the result, then you just have to make the most of it. If someone makes you happy beyond belief, enjoy that happiness, enjoy the fact that they're there at all and you're lucky enough to be with them. Enjoy the time that you have with them, and treasure it."
Now it's Magnus' turn to look at the other. The warlock is still shaking as he stares at Alec. For a moment, Alec thinks Magnus is going to kiss him. Instead, though, Magnus quietly asks a question.
"Can I hug you?"
Alec is taken by surprise at the question. He nods a yes. Besides, is he really going to deny an upset warlock a hug?
Magnus wraps his arms around Alec, careful of his hand placements so he doesn't bump into Alec's growing wing-stumps. In return, Alec wraps his own arms around the warlock. Alec ignores the way Magnus' face still hasn't dried from tears as Magnus buries his face in the Shadowhunter's shoulder.
The pair stay like that for a while, Magnus slowly beginning to calm down.
When Alec pulls away, Magnus is half-asleep. The warlock looks up at the other with half-lided, tired eyes. "Please stay," Magnus mumbles, his voice a quiet beg.
To that, Alec can't say no. So he agrees.
Magnus falls asleep pretty quickly. And Alec follows shortly after.