A/N: IT GETS BETTER I PROMISE
"There are two types of people who can't look you in the eye. Someone trying to hide a lie... or someone trying to hide love."
Sunlight trickles through the windows in the living room and her eyes open slowly. She smiles at the sound of his heart beating steadily against his chest. The fire is barely alive anymore and the puppy is curled up in a ball on the couch.
"Good Morning..." He whispers as he feels her fingers run down the center of his chest. She mumbles simply and he chuckles before kissing her head and flexing his jaw.
"We need to talk about something that I've been holding back." He sighs, glancing at his phone. She sits up and he pulls her into his arms before kissing her neck.
"I have to go back to New York." He speaks heavily and filled with guilt as she sighs.
"I knew this was gonna come up somehow. It's okay. You can go back to New York." She nods as he wraps his arms around her stomach and pecks her head.
"I have to leave tonight." He groans as his phone buzzes.
"That's too fast." She turns in his arms and rubs his stubble.
"I can come back next month as soon as I finish work." He smiles gently before leaning in and meeting her lips.
"I understand." Her answer is short and forced but he knows she means well because she starts to kiss him.
"I have a busy day today, a big surgery and you have to pack so I should probably go and take a shower." She sighs, pulling away from his grip.
"Meredith, come on. Please, stay here for a while." He asks holding her hand as she stands over him.
"Like I said... busy day and you have to pack." She sighs and pulls her hand away before walking to the front door and sliding on her slippers. He follows her down the concrete steps and watches her open the mailbox before closing it.
"All my things fit into one suitcase. It'll take me less than an hour to pack." He protests as they move back inside. She leaves her slippers by the door and heads up the stairs before walking into the bathroom.
"Well I need a shower and I have a big surgery." She grips the hem of her shirt and pulls it over her easily before tossing it in the hamper. He steps behind her and she looks at him through the mirror. Smiling gently, he kisses her cheek.
"You won't even know I'm gone. I'll be working night and day just to come back here. I love you, you know that... right?" He asks before kissing her temple.
"I love you too." She mumbles before giggling and taking off her golden necklace.
"Do you want my latest idea of a gift?" He asks, running his hands down her sides.
"I would." She shivers
He leaves soft kisses down her spine, his teeth unclasping her bra and pulling it off her chest. Her head tilts back with pleasure before hitting his shoulder as he stands up straight. His hands reach around her tiny body and his teeth graze her ear. He stares in the mirror and she blushes, pushing a strand of her golden hair behind her ear. He chuckles and leans into her ear.
"I've never seen you this nervous." He jokes as he rubs her shoulders and kisses them.
"I've never- no one has... you know?" She stammers.
"What? How? Why?" He asks, surprised as her hair slips from behind her ear. She turns into his chest and giggles before he lets her panties drop. She looks up at him and shrugs simply.
"Okay. Well, I want your first time to be special." He smiles.
"You are special, you know that right?" She asks.
"Yeah, I mean. I want to take my time, go slow." He whispers huskily in her ear while edging off his boxer briefs.
"That sounds so good." She moans while biting her lip.
"Ugh, at this moment; I hate your job. Here's the plan: We have amazing shower sex, eat breakfast, and then I'll 'go slow' when I get back from New York." He asks.
"Okay." She smiles and kisses his nose gently.
He chuckles land turns on the shower before picking her up. She giggles as he steps into the shower and pulls her in. With him, she feels free; as though he can change her mood on command. The water trickles down their bodies as they kiss and he feels aroused easily. His arms move around her waist and she grips his hair tightly. Pulling him against her, his erection pokes her thighs.
"Am I allowed to" He gets cut off as she nods and tightens her grip around his neck.
Smiling, he stares into her green irises and pushes into her. She gasps and bites her lip before burying her head into his chest. He groans softly as he feels her lathering him with soap. She takes a sharp breath as he starts moving slowly. Clinging tightly, she kisses his chest and he buries his lips in her neck. The shower drowns out their moans as he holds her hair, tugging gently and spreading shampoo. She puts a hand out onto the wall of the shower, biting her lip and moaning loudly into his ear.
"You are so tight." He says, panting as he pushes into her.
She looks at his face and then starts to grind into his hips, which move faster. Surprised, he nods and lets her push him against the tiled wall. Holding her back, he lets out a throaty groan as his body gets flushed. The water suddenly feels cold then hot again as his head pounds. She gasps and wraps a leg around his torso as he thrusts. For a moment the world goes silent and he stops moving. She does the same and clutches to him before they start gasping for air against each other.
"Amazing shower sex... You weren't kidding." She pants as a large smirk flashes across his face.
"I have to admit, you are just as much an aggressor as I am. If not more." He chuckles, coughing from lack of air.
She steps back and they sigh in pleasure as he pulls out before he kisses her forehead. She holds his cheeks, scratching his stubble. He wraps his arms around her and she turns off the shower. Her phone rings from her room and he swears underneath his breath.
"I gotta get to work." She sighs, pulling away from his grip and heading into her room.
He can't help but admire her gorgeous body as he follows her and watches her change. He simply tosses on a pair of boxers, jeans, and a shirt before heading down the stairs.
"Do you want a cinnamon bun?" He asks as he pulls them out of the toaster oven.
"Oh yes. Definitely. Pass me a chocolate bar please?" She asks as he places them in her hand.
As they walk to her car, he holds the door open and shuts it when she is inside. She rolls down the window and he smiles.
"What time is your big, important surgery?" He asks as he watches her consume the chocolate bar.
"2- 2! Crap, I'll be late." She panics.
"Shh, I'll be there. You are going to be fine. You look beautiful." He says grabbing her hand and wiping it with a damp rag from over his shoulder to get rid of the melted chocolate. She blushes as he wipes the chocolate from the corner of her lips.
"I love you." She says, buckling her seatbelt before he leans in and leaves a tender kiss on her lips.
"I love you more." She waves as she drives away and he chuckles.
Derek's House
"Hey, Addie." Derek jumps down from the deck and takes a sip of water before admiring his work.
"How long have you been out here?" She asks as he wipes his forehead with a damp rag.
"I've been out here since... four-thirty this morning. I was having trouble sleeping. You slept well though right?" He asks.
"Yeah, yeah I am fine. You have a big surgery today, are you sure you should be doing manual labor for that long?" She questions as he holds her fingers.
"This house is for us and I have to get to built before the baby gets here." He grabs her hand and kisses the back of it.
"It looks amazing Derek. I love it." She smiles as he pulls her arms around his torso.
"I still have a lot to get done. What happened to morning sickness?" He asks, kissing her lips softly.
"It's 1 in the afternoon." She giggles as his eyes widen.
"Crap. I have to get to work." He sighs.
"I'll see you when you get home." She smiles as he wipes his forehead again.
"Definitely. Call me if you aren't feeling well." He kisses her cheek and starts walking to the trailer.
Pulling his phone out, he picks up a call and smiles.
"Dr. Shepherd, where are you?" Meredith's voice cools him as he sets his phone on the counter.
"I'll be right there. Start prepping, I lost track of time building the house." He says pulling off his shirt and tossing it into the hamper in the far corner of the trailer.
"I've never prepped." Her voice is crackling but he simply laughs.
"Meredith, it isn't rocket science-" He starts.
"No, it's not but it is a matter of life and death." She snaps back making him blush as he unbuckles his belt.
"Yeah, okay. The nurses will help you." He says, dropping his jeans and boxers in the hamper.
"You owe me." She seethes.
"I'll bring you lunch. See you soon." He laughs and hangs up before getting in the shower.
The water is warm and it makes him groan as it runs down his sweaty body. He rinses his hair thoroughly and makes the water hotter instead of cooler.
"I have to get to work Derek." She complains as she pulls on a shirt backwards before standing at the edge of the bed.
"Call in sick. Come back to bed." He protests, tugging on her fingertips while smirking.
"No. I can't. I'm an intern. You know that." She says taking off the shirt to turn it inside-out.
He lunges forwards and pulls her into his grip before rolling on top of her. She giggles as he tickles her stomach.
"You need a shower right?" He asks.
"I suppose so." She nods as he tucks a strand of golden hair behind her ears.
"So do I." He raises his eyebrows and smirks as she rolls her eyes and locks her fingers with his.
"I bet you do. Let's go." She mocks, getting out of the bed and holding his hand tightly.
He laughs triumphantly and gets out of the bed before she pulls him against her body. He wraps his arms around her and picks her up before spinning around the room. She grips his hair and wraps her legs around his torso before he carries her into the shower and turns on the hot water.
His palm rests on the pink tiles of the shower and he sighs heavily. Constantly he had been getting reminders of Meredith, stronger each time. His head pounds and he grabs a fist full of his hair. Something was wrong and his intuition was nearly never wrong. Taking a sharp breath, he rinses off the somber feeling and gets it out of the shower. He dresses for work as he contemplates his daydreams about her. Why was he remembering her now more than before? What was wrong? He sighs and glances at the time on his watch. It had been thirty minutes he had been wondering, so he picks up his briefcase. He drives to the local bakery and orders two 'everything' bagels with avocado and saltine crackers before walking across the street into the hospital, stopping by the cart for pound cake and coffee.
Hospital
"Meredith!" He calls out, seeing her pull her hair into a ponytail.
She turns and he smiles wide before running to catch up to her.
"Where have you been?!"
"I went to go pick up lunch, more like dinner now."
"And I bought cake." He adds with a smirk.
She rolls her eyes and starts walking towards the cafeteria with him following closely.
"You were supposed to be here hours ago. It's already four!" She says frantically as they sit.
He passes her a brown paper bag before pulling out his own bagel.
"I knew something was wrong. What is it?" He asks, taking a bite as she writes in the chart.
"Nothing is wrong! You are just... late. And Mr. Richards doesn't want the surgery anymore." She grabs a piece of his pound cake before shoving it in his mouth. He laughs and washes it down with coffee before wiping crumbs off his lips.
"He doesn't want to do it anymore because you were late. And you're gonna have to find someone to assist you tonight if you do it." She says, taking another bite of the bagel.
"Why? What are you doing tonight?" He asks, leaning forward in his seat and watching her write in the chart.
"Mark is going to New York and I'm going to see him off." She says, sipping her coffee as he eats diligently.
"Oh, well that's nice." He chuckles and smiles before freezing.
"Nice?" She asks, clicking her pen.
"That's not what I meant." He protests.
"It never is with you." She scoffs, standing up.
He tugs on her fingers and pulls her back before she looks at his hand. He moves his hand up her arm and makes her sit down.
"I am sorry. You know what I've been handling. I need to get the house built before the baby is born and there is a lot to do there. We can do the surgery tomorrow." He nods, letting his thumb run over her knuckles.
"Fine. Well, it's getting late and I want to spend the rest of today with Mark before he leaves." She sighs, finishing her bagel as he pulls his hand away from hers.
"It's five."
"Can you drop these off at the nurse's station?"
"Meredith." She turns as Mark walks in the other end of the cafeteria with damp hair and a red, plaid lumberjack jacket.
Derek involuntarily rolls his eyes while watching Meredith hug him. Mark waves and Derek shoots back a fake smile before picking up the charts and tossing out their garbage.
"I'll be meet you in a minute, I need to use the bathroom." She whispers before kissing his cheek. Mark nods and she walks away.
Mark and Derek linger in the cafeteria and he shivers his hands in his jeans before taking a sharp breath.
"I was hoping you could drive me to the airport."
"Meredith is going isn't she?"
"She was upset over the fact I was leaving at all, so I don't know if she will be able to drive straight home. I don't want her drinking tonight." Mark sighs. Derek hesitates, frustration beginning to overwhelm him. The idea of being in a car with both of them makes his stomach flip in every direction.
"Yeah. Of course, I can." He nods grudgingly.
"Thank you, she might need a friend." Mark smiles.
"So, you and Meredith are breaking up?" He asks, hiding even the slightest hint of hopefulness.
"What?!" Mark's head snaps up in shock.
"You're leaving. Meredith isn't going with you so you are breaking up right?" Derek repeats.
"No, I'll be back."
"When?"
"As soon as I can."
"When's your flight?"
"7:30 tonight."
Derek glances at his watch and nods.
"We should get going then."
"We should." Meredith walks back in and holds Mark's hand loosely and Derek sighs.
"I need to drop off my car so let's go." Derek walks past them and heads into the parking lot fast.
"I could have driven you." Meredith holds his arm and rests her head on his shoulder as they walk slowly, determined to prolong their time together.
"Just let Derek drive. You won't be in the right mindset."
"I'm going to m-" She gets cut off by him picking her up,
"Don't you dare say that unless we're in the airport." He pecks her lips and she laughs, rolling out of his grip. They get into their car and follow Derek to the trailer.
The Airport
Meredith and Mark walk into the airport with Derek following closely behind. His black suitcase trails behind him and they stop at the flight gate.
"I'll be standing over there." Derek nods to Meredith and she smiles warmly before watching him walk away.
Mark stops his suitcase and Meredith pushes into his chest, clinging to his torso.
"Are you sure I can't go with you?" She asks as he holds her fingers tightly.
"I couldn't ask you for that." Mark smiles and looks up at the ceiling to push tears into his eyes.
"Call me. Every chance you can." She says softly.
"I will." He nods as he leans down arms presses his forehead to hers. His hands move to her cheeks and wipe her tears.
"Last call for flight 737 to JFK." The intercom announces.
"What's that?" Mark asks, recognizing the necklace.
"Derek gave it to me. Stop changing the subject." She says as he steps back and pulls his hands from hers.
"So you're wearing things that Derek gets for you?" Mark scoffs.
"What does that have to do with anything?" She asks as he picks up his carry-on. "Nothing. Okay. It means nothing that he got you a golden chain and you wear it the day I leave." His sarcastic tone shows and it makes her shake her head as he holds her cheeks.
"It means nothing." She protests.
"Sure it does. You just won't admit it. You've been playing a game with me. Telling me you love while you love him... you might as well be having an affair with him. I bet he reminded you about your nights together and you ran back to him like a...a tramp!" Mark clenches his jaw before stepping towards the gate.
"Mark. I'm sorry. Please come back." She cries as he walks down the tunnel to the plane. When he doesn't look back, she sinks to the ground to find Derek's strong arms wrap around her.
She is crying too much to pull away and he holds her head against his chest. He rubs her back, watching Mark walk away. If it were him, he would never have gone back to New York.
"Come on Meredith. Let's go home okay?" He asks, as her tears soak through his shirt.
"I don't know if he is coming back." She whimpers.
He strokes her head gently and nods, his nose brushing her ear. She grips his arms and he helps her stand before pushing his fingers into hers.
"We can get a late dinner. It's already 11." He says as they get in the car and she sits in the front seat. She is emotionless, as she thinks about Mark's words. I bet he reminded you about your nights together and you ran back to him like a...a tramp! She shakes as she feels Derek's hand above her knee. They are just leaving the heart of the city. She grips the pendant on the chain and pulls it off before turning Derek's hand and pushing it into his palm. He looks at it for a second and opens his mouth to speak before she pushes his fingers in, enclosing the necklace in his fist.
"I can't wear this." She says.
"It's yours."
"No. You gave it to me."
"Because you deserve it."
"Take it back."
"What happened in the airport?"
"Keep it with you, don't give it to me." She shakes her head.
"Did you two get into a fight?"
"No."
"About the necklace?" He says, parking in a drive-through of his favorite burger joint.
"Yes! We fought. It's because of this so take it back."
He turns in his seat and looks at her quizzically before leaning forward. She watches his face move closer and his hand moves to her waist. Her heart gets louder and their noses touch as his fingers run down her waist and into the back pocket of her jeans. His eyes are fixed on hers and he pulls back with her wallet.
"So buy it." He says simply.
"I'll have a cheeseburger, medium fries, and the regular nuggets. She'll get the same. Can I have a large Coca-Cola and a Dr. Pepper?" He says into the speakerphone outside the window.
"Anything else?" The voice crackles through the box as she calms herself from the feeling of his hand on her skin.
"An extra-large ice cream with two spoons." He nods.
Drive forward, your total is $18.47." The voice is back and he opens her wallet, pulling a twenty out.
He hands her wallet back to her and then hands the money to the woman in the window. Within a second, he places three different bags on Meredith's lap.
"Trust me." He nods.
"We both know this costs more than twenty dollars." She says gently as he drives through roads that even she doesn't know.
"No, we don't." He says simply.
"Where are we going?" She asks as he stops the car in a clearing, almost like a meadow.
He gets out of the car and grabs a blanket before laying it on the grass. She follows him out and puts the brown bags on it before laying down.
"You can see the stars much clearer here. I found it when you and I were dating." He says as he eats.
She nods and they continue eating silently for the next hour before his hand moves on hers.
"It's yours." He says, placing the necklace in her hand.
She moves to put it back in his arm but he backs away and pushes his hands behind his back. She rolls over him and struggles to pull his hand out. He laughs and she fights against his force before he grasps her waist. She stops laughing and he stares into the emerald eyes before leaning up. She grips his collar involuntarily and his right hand lifts to her cheek, brushing her golden hair behind her ear. His head moves into her neck and he clicks the necklace.
"I gave it to you." He whispers as he feels her fingers gripping his hair tightly, wanting to tug him off. His nose runs down her jaw and she leans away from him.
"We shouldn't be doing this." She says, pulling the necklace off and putting it on his chest before walking back to the car. He swears under his breath as he gathers their greasy paper bags and the blanket before running after her. They drive in silence the way back to her house. The car ride is so tense that they can't help but locking eyes at stop signs and red lights. He pulls into her driveway and lets out a heavy breathe filled with guilt.
"I'm sorry." He whispers hoarsely, his voice quivering.
She gets out of the car and he watches her walk up the stairs. His hand finally unravels and his palm is sweating while grasping the necklace. He had gone too far.