Bill Guarnere certainly didn't have a way with words but somehow he always knew just what to say.
"I'm really sorry," Posey repeated, too overwhelmed to recognise what she really needed to confess. "I shouldn't have left you at all, ever, and I think it's going to haunt me for the rest of my life."
"Why didn't ya write to me? Why'd I have to find out from the doc that you're alive?"
Posey sighed. "So many reasons," she admitted, and rested her head on his shoulder, "and none of them are your fault."
"What are they?"
"I was afraid of what you'd think of me now that I'm so nervous all the time. I was afraid you wouldn't believe me if I just wrote you a letter but I couldn't come and see you myself. I was afraid you would've moved on and married someone else, a nurse who cared for you in the hospital or something. I was just afraid, full stop. Of every conceivable outcome." Except, she added mentally, this one. There was nothing to be afraid of with this one.
"Ya really thought I'd move on so fast?" Bill asked, disbelieving and defensive.
"If you thought I was dead then yes," Posey replied, laughing a little bit deliriously herself. "And it's been quite a while, too. A year and just over four months is enough time to move on, I think."
"And have you?"
The question made her sputter out a laugh. "Of course not," she answered instantly. "How could I?"
"You tell me."
She knew what he was after and it made her grin; she hadn't even realised she hadn't said it back. Actually, she realised, she'd never told him ever, even though she'd known for a long time by now. "I love you," she told him, and turned her head to press a kiss to his shoulder before resting her temple back down on it. "That's why I couldn't."
"Now ya see where I'm comin' from," Bill said. She could hear the smile in his voice.
"But I knew that you weren't dead," she pointed out, lifting her head to watch him laugh. "You didn't know that I wasn't." She'd missed that sound. She'd missed that face.
"But ya still avoided me for over a year," he argued.
She wrapped both of her arms around his bicep and hugged it to her, smiling brightly into his sleeve. "Because, secretly, I always thought it'd be us in the end. Somehow or other."
"Ya did?"
She shrugged one shoulder and let it fall easily. "I hoped, at least."
"How long?" Bill asked suddenly, squinting through the sunlight as he smiled down at her where she was still clutching at his arm.
Posey shook her head once, confused. "How long what?"
"How long have ya loved me?" he asked, something smug lurking in his smile.
She rolled her eyes but she was laughing, and she rested her temple back down on his arm so she could gaze out across the garden again, infinitely more beautiful now than it had been before. "Forever."
Bill scoffed. "That ain't true."
She laughed. "No, you're right, it's not." She couldn't help but grin. "You were a bastard when I first met you."
"Shut up," he retorted, chuckling under his breath. "How long?"
Posey hummed, mulling the question over. It was difficult to say. She'd first realised in Bastogne after he'd almost gotten the pair of them killed, but even then she'd known she'd already loved him for a while. The honest answer was that she didn't know how long she'd been in love with him - it felt like a lifetime by now. "Remember when you brought me my bear when I was crying?" she said, smiling at the memory. "I think I fell a little bit in love with you then."
"You didn't even like me back then," he protested.
"No," she agreed. "But you were kind to me even though we weren't friends. It kind of melted my heart a bit."
"A bit?"
"A lot! What do you want from me?" She threw her free hand up, exasperated, and laughed before sitting up and turning to face him.
"What do you want from me?" he fired back, quirking an eyebrow in challenge.
Posey grinned and leaned in close, letting the tip of her nose brush against his before whispering, "Everything."
He laughed and his breath fanned over her face. "Oh yeah? And what d'ya wanna start with?"
"My bear," she answered decisively. "I want joint custody."
"Done. What else?"
Without wasting another second she pressed her lips against his, because if he wasn't going to do it then she wasn't just going to go without. A noise of surprise formed in the back of her throat when he wrapped both of his arms around her waist and drew her in close until she was all but sitting on his lap, and her own hands found his shoulders, so familiar and yet so exhilaratingly new.
Mrs. Daniels' voice calling out from inside the house cut the interaction short. "Josephine!"
"Oh no," Posey mumbled, her eyes wide as she stared back at Bill, her hands still on his shoulders.
"Who's that?" he asked, clearly amused.
"That's Mrs. Daniels," Posey explained, letting her hands fall to her lap and moving back to her chair so she was no longer practically on top of him. "She took me in when I was an evacuee. I told you about her, remember?"
"Right," Bill agreed, looking a little bit disorientated.
"I don't know what her policy is on unfamiliar men in her back garden," Posey went on sheepishly, fiddling at her skirt whilst straining her ears to listen for the elderly woman's progress through the house, "but I don't suppose she'd be too delighted if she caught us kissing."
Bill smirked. "Yeah? Why's that?"
Posey swatted at him playfully and rose to her feet, peering into the house through the back door. "She'll be out in a moment," she informed him quietly. "She's quite the character, just to warn you."
"Eh, I got plenty of experience with those," he dismissed her.
Posey rolled her eyes. "Just be glad it isn't John who came back first - he'd knock you horizontal for sure."
Mrs. Daniels appeared in the doorway before Bill could reply. "There you are!" she exclaimed, brushing imaginary dirt off of her dress. "I thought you might be out here. I was going to make - oh!"
"This is Bill," Posey said, smiling nervously and toeing at the ground.
"It's great to meet you," Bill offered from behind her, getting to his feet. He extended a hand and, when Mrs. Daniels took it, lifted hers to his lips and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.
Posey blushed positively crimson at the display of chivalry. He certainly was trying to impress.
"We met during the war," Posey hurried to add, lest he proceed to do something even more jarring than what he already had. "We served together."
"Will I know you from Josephine's letters, then?" Mrs. Daniels asked Bill, smiling knowingly as she looked between the pair of them.
Posey grinned. "You'll know him as the one I despised during boot camp," she answered, and laughed at the face Bill pulled. "I think I said that I couldn't help winding him up."
"Ah," acknowledged Mrs. Daniels. "And your name was William, was it?"
"Bill, actually -"
"William, yes," Posey cut him off. To Bill, she said, "The full names are non-negotiable. You'll get used to it."
"And what is the nature of your relationship to Josephine, William?" Mrs. Daniels continued, taking a seat in the chair Bill had been occupying before. She patted the chair Posey had been using, still pulled up close beside it. "Josephine, be a dear and make some tea, will you?"
As soon as Mrs. Daniels' back was turned, Posey pulled a face which had Bill fake-coughing to hide a laugh as he sat down where he'd been told to. For all of her feigned annoyance, however, when Posey set about making tea she couldn't help but smile, hearing the muffled sounds of conversation and feeling a whole lot lighter for it.
She couldn't believe he was here - really, she expected to wake up any moment now feeling as lost and empty as she had been since returning from the war - but even when she closed her eyes against the sunlight pouring in through the window she could still hear the talking, could still feel the kitchen counter beneath her fingers and the lightness in her heart. He'd come for her, after everything. She knew she didn't deserve him but she was done denying herself things out of self-pity. She didn't know what was going to happen between them after today, how it would work now that she couldn't leave the house, but she didn't want to worry about that just yet. Pouring the boiled water into the mugs she'd set up, Posey allowed herself to smile, really smile, wider than she had since the last time she'd seen him. What was it about Bill that always mended her broken heart?
When she brought the tea out on a tray, Posey couldn't help but giggle at herself. She felt like a housewife - which, in spite of her mother's dreams for her upper class little girl, was not something Posey had ever imagined herself being. Immediately, however, she found she wasn't very good at it; she had to set the tray down on the step and go back into the house in search of a small table to put everything on, and Mrs. Daniels had also had some very strong opinions about the lack of biscuits besides. By the time Posey re-emerged, Bill and Mrs. Daniels were laughing together like old friends and Posey was red in the face from exertion, having just searched the house frantically for a table and then the cupboards for the requested biscuits.
"There we are," Mrs. Daniels declared. She clapped her hands together and watched as Posey placed the table between the chairs and set everything up on it. "Oh, don't scowl so much, Josephine, or your pretty face'll get stuck like that."
Posey made a show of deepening her frown, though she was certain the smile she was trying so hard to fight was plain to see. Once everything was prepared she stepped back and cocked her head. "Am I invited to this little meeting, then, or is there anything else you'd like the servant girl to do?"
"We have a guest -"
"A guest I've said worse in front of than that, don't you worry, Mrs. Daniels," Posey cut across her with a wink. "He's borne the brunt of many of my foul moods, I can assure you. Haven't you, Bill?"
"Don't answer that, William," Mrs. Daniels told him hurriedly, laughing in that cackling way she tended to when she was really amused. "It's a trick."
Posey rolled her eyes. "I'll go get another chair," she decided, and retreated back into the house. When she returned the conversation had run away without her and turned to Bill's home life.
"And you're from Philadelphia?" Mrs. Daniels was asking as Posey took a seat, taking care to sit up straight and cross her legs lest the elderly woman shoot lasers at her.
"Yes, ma'am," Bill confirmed.
"Well, that's a shame," Mrs. Daniels said in reply. "That's very far from here. How long did it take you to get here?"
"Eh, six hours, give or take," he replied casually. "It was faster 'cause I went overnight."
"And where are you staying?"
"There's a hotel -"
"Nonsense!" Mrs. Daniels cried. "You'll be staying with us tonight and every night you're here after that. Jonathan can sleep downstairs and you'll have his room."
"John won't like that," Posey mumbled, trying not to smile.
"Jonathan can suck it up. I won't have a guest paying to stay somewhere that won't look after him half as well as I will - though I also won't have him staying in a room with you, Josephine."
Posey's jaw fell open. "Me?!" she exclaimed, suddenly sitting bolt upright. "Why am I the accused party?" She didn't have time to be embarrassed at the debaucherous insinuation in the face of her outrage at being incriminated; it was beyond her why Mrs. Daniels thought Posey, who had only ever kissed one man let alone done anything else with one, was the one to be wary of when Bill, ladies' man extraordinaire, was sat right beside her and smirking into his tea.
"Hush, Josephine, don't raise your voice," Mrs. Daniels pacified her easily.
Posey crossed her arms and sulked.
"Anyway, William, fetch your things from the hotel and we'll discuss arrangements when you get back," Mrs. Daniels went on. "Josephine will handle Jonathan."
"Josephine will be killed at the hands of Jonathan if she's not careful," Posey muttered under her breath. Mrs. Daniels was clearly clued up enough as to the nature of Posey's relationship with Bill, and if John was even half as observant then she was certain to be in for it - and Bill even more so.
Mrs. Daniels pressed on with the conversation, studiously avoiding asking for details about the war and instead talking expertly around it. For this, Posey was grateful, though it was almost torture to be so close to Bill after so long and to not be able to do anything about it; she had to sit quietly and listen to the conversation, speak when spoken to, and sip her tea, when all she wanted to do was curl up in his lap and kiss him silly until the only word on his lips was her name.
She found herself glancing at him constantly, unable to keep her eyes off him, though every time she looked over she found him already looking at her. She blushed every time and looked away, though as the conversation wore on and Mrs. Daniels didn't seem to be tiring of it - or running out of things to say - she became bolder and held his gaze, quirking an eyebrow in challenge to see if he'd look away or else pulling faces in reaction to whatever was being said just to watch him laugh. She was in love again, like a teenager, completely giddy whenever he looked at her and enthralled by everything he said.
"Well, I should go and make some food," Mrs. Daniels finally announced, getting to her feet and smiling at Bill and Posey. "Lunch?" she asked.
Posey nodded enthusiastically and grinned as the elderly woman disappeared into the house. The second she was out of sight Posey was on Bill's lap, perched atop his good leg, though his arms slipped around her waist and sat her more securely on both of them a second later.
"That woman," she murmured, beaming as she gazed at him. She shook her head with a laugh. "I adore her but, God, can she talk."
Bill laughed. "She ain't gonna be long. You gonna waist time chattin' or what?"
Posey didn't need to be asked twice. Her hands, previously on his shoulders, moved to cup his face as she leaned in and kissed him, light-headed at the thrill of it all. She remembered what she'd thought when he'd first kissed her, way back in Bastogne. Let him be mine for the rest of my life. Those words repeated themselves over and over again in her head, perhaps even more desperate now that she knew what it was like to have to live without him. She knew now she'd do absolutely anything to keep him with her, to make sure she was by his side no matter what happened to either of them.
He was playing with fire when he deepened the kiss, drawing her closer by the waist, especially when they'd been caught like this before and it had ended in such disaster. But the stakes weren't so high anymore and the world wasn't so dangerous - they could kiss and be certain that the only punishment they'd get for it was a few choice words from a fiery older woman who didn't have a taste for the scandalous. So Posey slid her hands into his hair and held him close, kissed him hard, and revelled in the feeling of having him so near after so long. Yes, she thought, he's definitely the one for me. Let him be mine for the rest of my life.