Thursday 17th June, 2021
The bus that was bringing them back from the airport was stuck in traffic, and she didn't think she'd been more exhausted in her life. The boards themselves had been exhausting, but she'd also been spending her time getting the necessary arrangements in place for her move to England. She'd spent a lot of time on the phone trying to organise somewhere to move into on such short notice, and she hadn't even told Derek yet that it was her definite decision to move over there.
It's what she needed, though. She needed to get away. Most people would just go on holiday, right? But getting away wasn't her only reason for the move half-way across the world. She needed space to find who she was away from her mother. One thing she had noticed when going through the interviews with various fellowship programmes, this was the only place where they hadn't even mentioned her mother. It was refreshing, to not have her talent compared to that of Ellis Grey.
She would have to leave Derek behind. Maybe that was for the best, though? She shouldn't be making her life decisions based off her seven-month affair with him. They had never even been in a proper relationship with each other, she didn't even know he had actual feelings beyond lust for her until a few weeks ago. This was her career. She had to focus on her career and forget everything else.
Her phone pinged in her lap, pulling her out of her thoughts and she saw the message from the man himself.
Have the results come through yet? Is everything okay? The bus is late.
She laughed softly to herself at his panicked tone and Cristina eyed her from the opposing seat across the aisle, but Meredith just shook her head and looked back at the phone, tapping out her reply.
Results aren't due for another hour; bus is stuck in traffic.
She set the phone back down in her lap, leaning her head against the window as she closed her eyes, ready to make another attempt at getting some sleep seeing as the bus was at least another half an hour away from the hospital at the rate the traffic was moving. Just as she thought she might go to sleep, the bus jerked and her phone pinged at the same time, another incoming message.
Okay, I'll wait here for you. I'll be in my office.
You don't have to wait for me.
I know. I want to.
She didn't respond to him this time and just set the phone back down in her lap, closing her eyes again. This bus ride was truly tortuous.
****
Back at the hospital, Derek was struggling to focus on any of the paperwork he had to do and was half hoping an emergent surgery would come in to give him something to focus on that would actually keep his concentration. He couldn't keep her out of his mind, her smile, her scent, the way he felt when he held her in his arms.
All that could be gone so soon, and he wanted to spend as much time with her as he could. She hadn't responded to his latest message and no one had notified him that the bus full of fifth year residents had returned from the airport yet.
He knew the chances of her leaving Seattle for her fellowship were high and the chances of her staying in the states to do her fellowship were extremely low. Even though she hadn't told him her actual decision yet, deep down, he knew she would go to England.
Once Meredith set her mind to something, it was extremely rare that she would change it and he didn't expect this to be an exception. He knew she'd been organising her move to England as much as she'd tried to hide it from him, but he knew she would tell him when she was ready.
After his initial reaction to her offer, he wasn't all that surprised she was wary to tell him. Why did he always have to react to things in such a way? He only made the situation worse.
He knew that she had earned that offer. She had been excelling far before he'd arrived seven months ago, and he was privileged to have been the one mentoring her in the last months of her residency. Most of the time, people would be privileged to have been taught by him, not the other way round. But Meredith was special.
She knew what she wanted, and she went for it, and she had the talent for it, which he knew she had worked hard for, regardless of others' comments about the inheritance of skill from her mother, which he knew got on her nerves.
He dropped his pen on to the table and sat back in his chair, groaning as his hand dragged over his face. He needed to get up and move around, he'd been sat in his office for hours since his last surgery and he was starting to get stiff. If Meredith were here, she'd tease him for his old age.
God, she'd only been gone for two days and he already missed her. How would he cope when she moved across the Atlantic? He stood from his chair and walked over to the floor length window that looked out at the back of the hospital, over the gardens that had been put in for patients who spent long periods of time in the hospital.
What felt like only moments later, he heard the door open and close behind him gently, but he didn't turn to look just yet. Maybe it would be easier for them if he didn't show how much he'd missed her over the past two days? He didn't want to be a dick to her anymore, but he also didn't want her to even think about giving up this opportunity for his sake.
"Derek?"
Her soft voice spoke his name, probably thinking he hadn't noticed her entrance. Little did she know, he noticed every little sense of her presence. He turned to look at her, a smile on his face, noticing how tired she looked. She looked beautiful, but exhausted.
"Hey," he breathed out, staying where he stood.
"The results haven't come through yet, they said midnight," she gave him a small smile and set her bag down on the couch before sitting in her usual spot at his meeting table.
"Do you need a ride home?" he asked, grabbing a bottle of water from the small fridge, passing it to her as he moved to sit in the chair beside her.
"Thanks," she said as she took the water, opening it and taking a sip before answering his question, "I have my car here."
"I think you're far too tired to drive, would be a shame to get into a crash just when you've finished your boards," he commented, a small laugh escaping his lips, not that he found the idea of her getting hurt in a car accident funny in the slightest.
"This one time I will concede and say you're right," she said with a soft laugh, "if you don't mind, then. I can always get a cab."
"Nonsense. I'll take you home, it's okay," he shook his head slightly.
His eyes noticed the way she fiddled with the cap of the water bottle between her fingers, something clearly on her mind as they sat in silence. She released a soft sigh and took another drink of the water.
"Are you okay?" he asked, his brow furrowing slightly in concern.
"Yeah, I think. Nerves," she shrugged a little, setting the bottle on the table and screwing the lid back on, "It's weird, it's like, you don't stop for years. Since high school, even, you don't stop. High school, pre-med in college, med school, and then five years of residency, all leading up to this one day of oral examinations to be certified as a surgeon."
"I know exactly what you mean," he said with an amused smile at her ramblings, he would definitely miss those.
"It's nice having someone who understands that" she said with a soft laugh, stretching her arms on the table in front of her with a yawn before crossing them and resting her head on top, looking at Derek, "I could probably just sleep here."
"I wouldn't stop you," he said, pushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear, "but it's a few minutes to midnight, and I want to know your results almost as badly as you do, even though I know you'll have passed."
In response she just laughed again, moving to hide her face in her arms for a moment just as her phone started ringing. She pulled it out as she muttered.
"Who the hell is calling at this time?" she answered it and rolled her eyes as she heard who was on the other end, "Cristina, I haven't left the hospital, I'm still here.... Yes, I'm in his office... okay, okay, I'm on my way... I don't doubt it. See you in a minute."
"What was that?" Derek asked, always amused at the dynamic between the two friends – or more accurately, sisters. Twisted sisters, Owen might've have said once.
"Cristina requests my presence with the other residents in the cafeteria. Apparently, my mother does too, you should join as well, I think. Something about everyone getting their results at the same time, yadda yadda..." she trailed off with a motion of her hand as she stood up from her chair.
He laughed softly and stood from his chair, "Honestly, I remember Richard saying something about that, it completely escaped my mind."
She just shook her head in amusement as she took her coat off, leaving it with her bag on the small sofa, "Let's get going then."
"One moment," he said as he took her hand and pulled her closer to him, lowering his lips to hers in a soft kiss, his other hand cupping her cheek, "I'm proud of you, whatever happens, okay?"
"Thank you," she said with a soft whisper, looking as though she was slightly surprised by his actions a moment, before pressing her lips back against his, and then spoke a little louder, "Whatever happens."
He knew there was a deeper meaning behind their words, but he wasn't going to bring it up right now, and clearly, she wasn't either.
"Come on then, Dr Grey, let's go and unveil your future. See if the past 13 years have worked out."
"12 years," she corrected him, as they walked out of the office, their hands reluctantly parting now that anyone could see them.
"What?" he asked her, confused.
"I skipped a year," she said with a shrug, as if it were the most normal thing ever. She looked to him with a raised eyebrow, "Don't you know how old I am?"
"Apparently not," he said, still in slight shock. He was in love with the woman, and he didn't even know how old she was? He felt slightly ashamed but was too proud of her to fully care about it right now. "So, you're only 30, not 31?"
"Hey!" She nudged him playfully, "I'm 29, my birthday isn't until this weekend."
Her eyes went slightly wide then and she muttered, "Crap."
"It's your birthday this weekend? And you didn't tell me?" he said, accusingly but playful all the same.
"It's not important," she waved him off, "I don't celebrate it."
"I think your birthday is very important," he countered, trying to keep up as she started walking a little faster.
"Yes well, can we just drop it for now before anyone else finds out?" she asked as they approached the cafeteria.
"I guess so, but this isn't the last of this conversation," he said as he opened the door, letting her pass first.
She didn't say anything, but she rolled her eyes with a half smirk, reassuring him she wasn't totally annoyed by the conversation of her birthday, or maybe she'd done it just to make him feel better. He followed her into the cafeteria, and she went to sit with Cristina a couple other residents while he went over to stand with Chief Webber, who was stood with Ellis Grey, Meredith's mother.
It was always slightly awkward being around Meredith's mother, because other than the fact he was sleeping with her daughter, sometimes she would say things about Meredith that had Derek wanting to defend her, but he knew he couldn't. He could sense the woman deeply cared about her daughter, but her mannerisms and the way she went about showing it could definitely be improved.
A series of phone notifications went off across the room, indicating the residents had all received the email of their results. Apparently, Richard received them as well as he pulled out his phone and pulled on his glasses, and Derek was desperate to find out the result of only one resident. His eyes kept their gaze locked on Meredith looking for any sort of reaction from her. As usual, she kept her emotions hidden and as she read her own email on her phone, he couldn't tell if she'd passed or failed.
****
Having thankfully dodged the conversation of her 30th birthday with Derek, which she'd completely forgotten about really, she made her way over to where Cristina sat at a table with Karev and a few other residents, and she sat in the chair Cristina had saved for her.
"There you are! Could you really not wait a couple more hours to get in his pants? You've only been gone two days," Cristina scoffed, setting the phone down on the table she'd been refreshing almost every ten seconds for any sign of her results.
Meredith glared at Cristina, "We didn't... ugh, we haven't for like, a week," she muttered as she rested her elbows on the table in front of her, her head falling into her hands.
"No wonder you're so cranky," Cristina observed, picking her phone up again, "You'll have to find yourself a nice British boy to play with."
"I don't know, I've been unhelpfully reminded I turn 30 this weekend," she said with a shrug as she sat back in her seat, fidgeting with a loose thread on the hem of her blouse as her gaze drifted to where Derek was making what looked like painfully polite conversation with Ellis.
Oh, Mom, the hell you would be giving him if you really knew what was going on.
"Ah, yes, the dreaded birthday of Meredith Grey," Cristina said, a small laugh escaping her lips, "at least you aren't turning 31 like most of us."
"Not helpful, Cristina," Meredith said, but returned her friend's small laugh with one of her own. Just as she refocused her gaze to her phone on the table in front of her, it, and multiple other phones in the room, indicated the arrival of a new email. The results. Keeping her face stoic, knowing that Derek's eyes were now fixed on her, she could just feel it, she opened up the email to see her results.
It felt like the message was taking hours to load and then finally the words were on the screen. She scrolled down to the result, trying to contain her excitement when she saw what was written there. Everyone kept telling her she would pass easily, but it hadn't felt easy, and seeing it in black and white just made it real. Confirmed everyone's expectations. She knew the stoic look on her face had turned to surprise when a pair of arms came flying around her, and it took her a moment to realise Cristina was actually hugging her.
"Please tell me you passed because I swear to God, Meredith," Cristina started but Meredith quickly cut her off.
"I passed, Cris, I passed," she said with a laugh, finally feeling as though she could express her emotions on the matter, and she heard a sigh of relief from close behind her.
"Thank God," Cristina said, "We're all going to Joe's now, I think. You are coming?"
"I'll catch up with you," Meredith told her as Cristina finally released her, and she stood from her chair, turning to see Derek stood there, as expected.
"I told you," he said with a grin, his arms crossed over his chest.
"Everyone told me, actually," she said with a roll of her eyes, but she grinned back at him.
"I think your mother wants to speak with you," he said, nodding his head in the direction of where Ellis still stood beside Richard, who she could see was congratulating some of the residents who passed him, and she looked back to Derek, "but first, I think I can give you a hug."
"I think that would be acceptable," she said as she moved closer to him, and he pulled her into a hug that she immediately returned, as though it was something they did every day.
"I know I keep saying this, but I'm really proud of you, Meredith," he murmured to her as he held her close, possibly a second longer than should have been acceptable.
"Thank you," she said as she pulled back, a smile still on her face, "I'd best go see my mother... and then Cristina wants to go to Joe's. I may go for a drink or two."
"You should go," he said to her as they walked over to Ellis, "For at least three drinks. I'll still take you home."
"Okay," she said, and the conversation dropped as she reached her mother.
"Meredith, Richard tells me you've passed, as expected," her mother said to her, and Meredith received another unexpected hug of the evening, "I am proud of you."
"Oh, thanks Mom," Meredith said, still in a slight shock as she hugged her mother back. They'd barely spoken since the Christmas party, so this would definitely class as slightly awkward.
"I've only ever wanted the best for you, that's why we had Dr Shepherd here recruited to mentor you," she said, which was complete news to Meredith who turned to look at Derek who just shrugged a little in a 'talk about it later' kind of way.
"I know, Mom," she said, pressing her lips together as she realised, she still had yet to confirm with her mother that she was probably moving to England for twelve months next week. Before she could think to mention it now though, her mother spoke again.
"Go on, I have to get home. We'll see you after your day off, maybe we can go for dinner," Ellis said to her, even offering her a small smile.
"Yeah, okay," Meredith nodded, "See you guys later."
Richard looked to her now, "Well done, Meredith."
"Thanks, Dr Webber," she said and stepped back, ready to head off.
"Dr Shepherd, can you stay a moment? We just need to discuss something," Ellis said to him.
"Of course," he responded and nodded to Meredith, "See you day after tomorrow, bright early. Education doesn't stop just because you've passed the exam."
"Of course, Dr Shepherd," she said with a soft laugh before heading off to find Cristina. As tired as she was, she was definitely ready to drink. It had been a weird night.
****
Derek turned to Ellis once Meredith had left the room, pretty sure he knew what the conversation would be about, "How can I help, Dr Grey, Chief Webber?"
"We wanted to ask, has Meredith told you her decision for her fellowship yet?" Ellis asked, getting straight to the point.
"No," Derek shook his head, it was better to be honest. Even though he was pretty sure he knew where she would be going, there was still time for her to change her mind, "I think I know which fellowship she's going to choose, but she hasn't confirmed anything with me."
"She's going to England, isn't she?" Ellis said, sounding slightly disheartened.
"That's what I think, yes," he nodded with a sad smile he couldn't help, but Ellis wasn't paying attention to him at this point.
"I wish I could change her mind... but no, she's headstrong. She knows what she wants, and she gets it," she said with a soft laugh before pulling herself from whatever thoughts she was in and looking back at Derek, "And will you be staying, here in Seattle? I understand your marriage recently ended, I'm sorry to hear it."
"It was a long time coming," Derek said with a nod, "I plan to stay, though. I do prefer Seattle to New York, and I enjoy the job."
"Good, one less person to hire for," Richard said with a dry laugh, "Go on then, we won't keep you any longer."
"Goodnight, both of you," Derek said before turning to leave the room. But he didn't miss the way Richard took Ellis in her arms, who was visibly upset with the idea of her daughter leaving the country.
He could faintly hear Richard's voice as he walked out of the door comforting her, "I'm sure she won't be gone forever, she'll come back."
He made the short trip to his office to change into his street clothes, picking up Meredith's bag and coat she had left on the couch, along with his own bag. He took them down to his car and secured them in the trunk before making his way across the street to Joe's, a smile spreading across his lips as he saw Meredith laughing with her friends, definitely having had consumed a few shots of her staple drink already.
He sat at the end of the bar, not making her aware he had arrived yet to give her more time with the other residents, her friends, and ordered his drink from Joe, "Just a Diet Coke, Joe, I'm driving."
"Good idea," he said with a nod as he poured the glass of Diet Coke for him. Joe was probably the only person outside of Cristina, Addison and Mark Sloan aware of the complicated relationship between him and Meredith, that he knew of anyway, "She's only had a couple shots of tequila, said she didn't want to be completely drunk by the time you got here."
Derek laughed softly as he took the glass from the bartender, "Thanks, Joe."
"No problem, Doc," Joe said with a nod before moving on to serve some other residents down the bar who had clearly also passed their boards today.
He sipped at his Diet Coke, trying not to stare at Meredith as he sat there, but definitely spending most of the time with his eyes on her. He wanted nothing more than to take her home and spend as much time with her as he could, but he knew if she was going away for twelve months, he should let her have this time with her friends, especially Cristina, who had made the decision, after many offers from around the country herself, to stay in Seattle and do her fellowship with Dr Altman.
Around half an hour after he'd entered the bar, close to one in the morning now, her gaze caught his and she gave him a grin, a slightly drunken one at that given she'd consumed a few more shots of tequila by that time. He grinned back at her with a slight nod, and he saw her whisper something to Cristina who just shoved her friend with a playful laugh and shake of her head before Meredith made her way over to where he sat, sitting in the stool beside him.
"How long have you been here?" she asked, still grinning at him, but not drunk enough to forget where they were, in a very, very public place.
"Only about half an hour," he smiled back at her as he finished off his drink, setting the glass down on the wooden top.
"I'm sorry, we can get going now," she said with a slight frown.
"We don't have to just yet, I also have the day off tomorrow," he explained, his hand gently squeezing her thigh, out of sight, under the bar.
"What did my mother want to speak to you about?" she asked suddenly, a look of concern flashing across her eyes.
"Nothing major," he half lied, "she just wanted to ask if I would still be staying on in Seattle."
"And will you?" she asked, seeming very interested in his answer.
"I will, this place has grown on me," he said with a small smirk on his lips.
"Good," she nodded, but he could tell her mind was elsewhere. Now was not the time or place to question it, "I'll head outside first, and you follow?"
"And have you wander off on me? I thought we agreed after last time I'd wait for you outside," he said with a chuckle, pulling his hand back as she stepped off the stool.
"Excellent point," she said with a laugh, "I'll just go to the toilet and meet you outside then in a moment."
"Okay, I grabbed your things from my office so we can just set off back to yours, or mine. Whichever you prefer," he said as he also stood up and he could tell she was debating the two options.
"I think we should go to yours, your bed is definitely comfier," she said with a grin before turning and heading into the toilets.
Derek chuckled to himself, Meredith hadn't been drunk around him in a while, and he'd forgotten how amusing she could be when she did. He paid his and Meredith's bar tab with Joe, bidding goodnight before heading out the door, sharing a knowing look with Cristina before he did. He had never really spoken much with Cristina Yang, but he knew she was fiercely protective of Meredith and was just confirming he would be taking her home. He couldn't tell her opinion of him, as far as he knew, as long as Meredith was happy, they were good.
He walked to his car in the hospital parking lot and drove it round to the front of Joe's bar, keeping the engine running as he waited for Meredith to come out. Not even a minute after he had pulled up, she came out of the bar and climbed in the passenger seat beside him and he started driving, wary that anyone could have been watching him or her.
"Still want to come back to mine?" he asked, glancing over at her, noticing her looking out the window beside her.
"Yeah," she murmured softly as she settled back in the seat, knowing he lived at least half an hour from the hospital, "This is a much smoother ride than that awful bus."
"Go to sleep, I'll either wake you when we get there or just carry you up to bed," he said with a soft laugh, knowing she could be difficult to wake sometimes.
"Mmkay," she hummed, and he glanced over to her again to see her eyes already closed, ready to fall asleep.
As he pulled on to the freeway, his hand reached over the centre console to gently squeeze her thigh, leaving his hand resting there as he drove, a small smile on his lips as she rested her hand on top of his in her sleep.
By the time he pulled up into his driveway, Meredith had definitely fallen into a deep sleep, so much so that Derek had to pry his hand from hers to put the car into park. He climbed out and left her in the car a moment while he unlocked the front door and unarmed the house alarm, before going back to her and lifting her out of the seat, one arm around her back and the other under her legs. Her face buried against his chest, but she didn't wake, and he carried her into the house, gently shutting the front door behind him to make minimal noise, and then carried her up to the bed, initially laying her on top of the blankets so he could undress for bed.
Once he was stripped down to his boxers with only one of his sleep shirts on, he moved back to Meredith, doing his best not to wake her as he removed her shoes, and then the dress pants she had worn for the exam. Any other time, seeing her in the underwear she was wearing right now would have him ripping at her clothes to get them off, desperate to make love to her, but he found himself enjoying the simple act of looking after her as she slept. He moved on to the bed beside her, realising to get her out of the blouse and into one his sleep shirts he had pulled out for her, he would have to wake her for just a moment.
His hand caressed her cheek slightly and he leaned down to press a soft kiss to her lips as he murmured softly, "Meredith, wake up a moment."
She stirred a little bit didn't wake, so he attempted to lift the blouse over her head, which didn't go too badly, it would be getting the shirt on that would be the hard part. Now, she would probably just accuse him, playfully of course, of being a perv when she woke to find he had stripped her down to her bra and panties, but he didn't have the heart to properly wake her to put the shirt on. Instead, he slid one arm beneath her to lift her against him gently as he pulled the blankets from beneath her, settling them over her and laying beside her, keeping the arm beneath her as she began to stir again.
"Shh, it's okay, go back to sleep," he murmured softly, pressing a kiss to the side of her head.
"Derek..." she mumbled, her hand gripping at the front of his shirt as she cuddled closer to his warmth and he wrapped his arms around her.
"I'm here," he murmured softly, not that she could hear him, and pressed a kiss against the top of her head before settling himself to fall asleep with her in his arms. He decided this was definitely his happy place, Meredith in his arms as they went to sleep together, actually sleeping.