// luke //
I wiped my palms nervously on my jeans. I was standing outside of Catelynn's room, not quite wanting to enter yet.
I was relieved that I would have time with her tonight, but I also needed to tell her what she had asked about.
What I had said was true, however, I just hated confessing my feelings.
Fear of rejection.
Cate had usually initiated everything first, surprisingly.
The first kiss, the first vulnerable opening up to the other. I needed to be the one to tell her this, instead of waiting around. She deserved that much at least, after leaving herself vulnerable to get hurt by confessing to me.
So, hesitantly, I walked into the room.
Immediately, I was enveloped by a pair of arms wrapping around my neck in a hug.
"Hi, baby," I breathed out into her hair, a nervous smile on my face.
"I missed you," she mumbled against my neck.
"Me too," I mumbled back.
Cate pulled back enough to look at me in the eyes. I smiled softly, aware of my palms starting to sweat again.
I tugged her over to her bed, kneeling onto the mattress. "So-"
She placed a hand on my shoulder, looking at me earnestly. "Luke, I- I think I know what you're going to say. And if you don't want to say it now, I'm not pressuring you to-"
I stopped her by placing my finger on her lips gently. She giggled. "I want to."
Cate bit back a smile. I tugged her other hand onto my other shoulder, clasping my much larger ones overtop. My eyes locked with hers, and I resisted the urge to tug her into my lap.
"Catie, I- I think I'm in love with you."
Her eyes lit up at the sound of my voice saying those words to her that she had been thinking I was going to, and I wanted nothing more than to connect our lips together.
"I think I'm in love with you too," she giggled softly, pressing her face against my chest as she climbed into my lap. I slipped my arms around her, landing a gentle kiss to her hair.
God, it felt so good to hear her say that.
Catelynn was one of the people who meant the world to me, and I was glad to know that we were both this comfortable with each other.
It was amazing to just say 'I love you'. I hadn't said that in... in ages.
"You want to do something before we go to bed?" I asked, hoping it didn't come out as suggestive.
"Do you have work in the morning?"
I shook my head. "No, it's Sunday."
"Can we watch a movie?" Cate asked quietly, glancing back up at me with an anticipatory smile on her face.
"If you want to," I affirmed, running a hand through her hair comfortingly.
Maybe fifteen minutes later, I was propped up against her headboard, her small form cuddled against me in my lap as her computer was resting on the end of her mattress.
We were watching some film that I wasn't paying much attention to. Catie seemed to like it, which was all that mattered. I was rubbing her shoulder, tracing shapes with my fingertips that would make her giggle and seize up if I was being too delicate.
God, she was perfect.
"Luke," she mumbled hesitantly, fiddling with the comforter.
"Yes, princess?" I replied, watching as she glanced back at me.
"Sh- should we tell Calum?" Cate asked softly.
My stomach dropped at the thought. Although telling my best friend that I was romantically inclined towards his little sister would be a good idea at some point, I would rather poke out my eye with a fork.
"N- not now," I just said. "At some point, though."
"Okay," Cate murmured, turning back to her movie. She laid her head back on my lap with a contented sigh as I continued to run my fingers through her hair.
//
"Luke,"
I didn't move.
"Luke,"
I groaned, but kept my eyes shut.
"Luke!"
Soft hands shook me gently. I still didn't stir, only half-awake.
"Luke, you're crushing me."
Is that Catie?
"Catie?" I asked slowly, my voice rasping in my throat.
I opened my eyes groggily, the first thing I saw being the pillow. Adjusting my gaze, I noted that I was nearly smothering the little girl, her hands pressing on my shoulder as an attempt to move me.
"O-oh, I'm sorry, princess," I mumbled thickly, trying my best to roll off of her.
"Thank you," she mumbled, with some indignance. She started to prop herself up, taking a deep breath.
"Are you okay?" I asked softly, aware of her not really looking at me.
"I'm fine," Cate nearly snapped.
Taken aback, I didn't respond.
"Sorry," she mumbled, "I'm just frustrated."
"Don't worry about it," I grunted, moving to rest on my elbows. "I should be apologizing, not you."
Cate exhaled shakily, tucking her knees up to her chest. "I just have a lot of stuff on my mind. Let's- let's just forget about it."
Very different from the shy little girl I met in the break room three months ago. Her voice held no trace of timidity, and when my hand grazed against her thigh absently she didn't even blink.
I was glad she opened up to me. I think that there wasn't a version of Cate that I wasn't in love with, even the exasperated one I was with right now.
"Do you want me to get you breakfast?" I asked hesitantly, not wanting to say something that would make her snap at me. I had a nasty temper when I was angry, and I didn't want to snap back at her as a reflex.
She shrugged, not really looking at me.
"Catie, I don't know how to act," I said.
Catelynn sighed heavily. "I don't know, Luke. I- I..." She trailed off, not really looking at me.
I moved to sit up, pressing a kiss to her forehead. She leaned into me.
We sat like that for a few minutes, before she pulled back with a subtle whine. "L- let's go get breakfast."
We ate at a diner, not too far from my apartment. It was pretty empty on a Sunday morning, except for a few middle aged balding men who were probably divorced dads with an aquarium full of fish on their kitchen counter.
Cate had her feet in my lap under the table as we ate. She was wearing one of my sweatshirts, and her hair was in a ponytail, which looked different because of her shorter hair.
My hand was resting on her calf the entire time, not wanting her to feel like I was ignoring her.
I drove us around after that, just around the town. She seemed very mellow.
"Baby," I sighed, aware of how she was huddled up in the corner against the window, reminiscent of the first time I drove her anywhere. "What's wrong?"
Cate shrugged lightly.
"You can tell me."
"I...I don't want to go to college."
Oh.
"You don't have to go, Catie, it's your life," I told her gently.
"I- I do want to go, but I don't want to go far away," she mumbled.
"Did you get any letters back?" I asked, glancing over at her quickly before glancing back at the road.
"Yeah..." Cate trailed off awkwardly.
"Did you... open them, by chance?" I raised an eyebrow, figuring that it would be better to go step by step than skip immediately to seeing if she got in.
"No," she mumbled.
"You want to do that today?" I suggested lightly, reaching over and placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.
She shrugged again.
"We can go to my apartment- it's almost set up, anyway," I offered. "I wanted it to be fully set up before you came over, but I can just shove the rest of the boxes into the bedroom closet for now. Maybe forget about them."
The corners of her lips turned upwards with amusement, but she pressed her cheek into the fabric of the sweatshirt.
I chuckled.
"Okay," she replied quietly.
"I'll go back to the house and then we'll come back."
She stood close to me the elevator ride up, and as we walked down the hallway to my door. I put my arm around her shoulder, and Cate leaned into my side gently.
I led her to the sofa. "Here. I'll go move the boxes out of the way."
"Okay."
I quickly stacked up whatever empty boxes were just lying on the floor against one of the walls, just so they weren't sprawled everywhere. Catie had set the letters on the cushion next to her, watching me intently.
She crawled into my lap the second I sat down, and it was all I could do to not chuckle. Instead, I wound my arms around her, shuffling the unopened envelopes into a pile on my lap.
"Which one do you want to open first?" I murmured .
Catie shrugged. "You pick."
I tore open one of the strips with my thumb, sliding the letter out.
"You want me to read it to you?" She shook her head no.
I scanned over it carefully. It wasn't a 'thank you for applying, however...' type thing. It didn't have that energy at all.
"Well, baby, you're accepted into Messiah University," I smiled, pressing a kiss to her hair. "Where is that, anyway?"
"Somewhere in Pennsylvania," she murmured, her lips turned upwards slightly.
"Oh."
"Don't worry, I applied to a couple New York schools," Catie reassured me gently, seeing how my face drooped at the distance that could potentially be between us.
"I don't want to limit yourself because of me, doll," I told her. "You go wherever you want to."
"Okay," she said mundanely, pressing her cheek against my chest gently.
We looked through the rest of her letters. Thankfully, none of them were rejection letters. She had a range of places she could respond to.
She had applied to a couple New York schools, one of them being only an hour away. I knew I didn't want to be so far away from her, but if she thought that we could handle it- then I would accept it.
"I think I'll look at them more tonight," she mumbled, her eyes still locked on the letters in my lap.
"Okay," I smoothed her hair back gently, adjusting my position slightly.
Cate's gentle lips pressed against mine as she leaned up to kiss me. My hand slipped to hold her cheek, calloused fingers brushing over her skin.
She pulled away a few moments later, still gazing at me. "I love you," Catie murmured. I cradled her against my chest.
"I love you, princess," I told her softly, landing a kiss on the top of her head.
We fell asleep on the sofa, her wrapped in my arms comfortingly. It was a little chilly, but I craved the feeling of now- of her small body held in my own as she slept peacefully on top of my chest.
And then suddenly I woke up and there was sunlight streaming through the doors to the balcony that didn't have curtains yet. I glanced at my phone- it was seven a.m.
What-
"Fuck," I muttered, about to sit up. However, the little girl sleeping peacefully on top of me, wrapped in my sweatshirt, stopped me from doing so.
I didn't want to wake her, but I needed to get to work.
"Catie," I murmured in her ear, shaking her shoulder gently. After a moment, she groaned, changing her position.
"Baby, please," I said a little louder. "I've really got to get to work."
Her eyes fluttered open slowly, and she glanced up at me, clearly disoriented.
"It's seven in the morning, doll," I told her softly.
Catie- silently but gently- managed to get to her feet. She couldn't just scoot to the end of the couch, mainly because I took up the entire couch as I was basically all leg.
"Morning, princess," I pressed a kiss to her forehead, and she bit back a soft smile.
And then we were in my car, driving to the very large house that had way too many rooms for five people. Catie was still enveloped in my hoodie, leaning against the arm of the chair, still tired. I didn't know how, as we had genuinely slept for a literal fifteen hours.
I didn't want to question her, though.
"I'll grab something to eat quickly at the house, and then I'll go head to work," I was saying, turning the car into the driveway.
"Okay," Catie said.
I kissed her once I had parked, mainly because I knew we wouldn't have space to inside.
She was everything I could have asked for.
All her flaws, even our small disagreements- I couldn't need anything else from her.
// cate //
The truth was, Cate knew what he had said.
She had enough trouble falling asleep with Luke, but when he was gone, she was awake for hours, just staring up at the ceiling and hoping she would fall asleep anytime soon.
So when Luke's clumsy footsteps came up the stairs and down the hall to her room, she didn't even have the energy to open her eyes and greet him.
And then he had cuddled into her, and she had expected to hear a "goodnight, princess," murmured in her ear and that would be it.
However, when Luke mumbled that he was falling in love with her, Catelynn had almost exploded trying to feign that she was asleep. Her heart was racing faster, and her breath caught in her throat for a moment, but she had figured that Luke hadn't been quite ready to tell her yet. She could have turned around and told him she was falling in love too, but that would be too much of a conversation for however late it was.
So she just bottled it up.
It didn't help that the day before at work when she had wandered over to the front desk to say a quick hello to Luke, Ashton tugged the other tall blonde into the break room.
And then they had what she assumed they believed to be a hushed conversation.
It was not.
"You're so whipped."
"No, I'm not!"
"Mhm."
"Just because..."
"Just because what?"
"Just because all I can think about is her..."
"Yeah?"
"...and just because she's the only one who can calm me down..."
"Keep going."
"...and just because the way her cheeks flush when I make her laugh is really cute, and just because I really fucking like her doesn't make me whipped."
"Yes, yes it does."
Luke had then made a noise of frustration, and then Cate assumed he was pulling at his hair.
"Fuck," he had whined.
She was shocked he hadn't grown bald yet.
And then the two had wandered back out; Ashton with a gleeful expression and Luke looking like he wanted to drop kick a puppy.
"Did you hear any of that?" he asked gruffly, glancing between Cate and Elizabeth.
They both shook their heads no.
"Good."
Elizabeth snorted, turning back to her monitor.
- -
yeah idk editing this chapter felt really weird if it feels rushed sorry lmao
anyway uhh really excited to publish the rest of the book bc i added a little ✨sPicE✨
love you all idk how this has 3.5k reads that's really weird but thank you lads
cal xx