FLASHBACK
I was laying in bed with Blake. We were both watching a movie while cuddling. The moonlight shining brightly illuminating his features. I analyzed every bit of his face.
His sharp jaw and his pink lips. His eyes as bright as ever. He was watching the movie while I was glancing at him.
My head rested on his neck and his arm around my waste protectively.
"Blake..." I say quietly with a soft tone. My eyes never left his face.
I thought he hadn't heard me until he turns his head and looked into my eyes. His beautiful grey eyes that held so much love and happiness.
"Love..." he says in the same soft tone as me.
"Do you know what's my biggest fear?" I ask looking at him. He shakes his head. Confusion all around his features.
"My biggest fear isn't that one day you will lie to me or cheat on me. My biggest fear is that one day you will wake up, look at my sleeping body and notice all my flaws. That one day you will notice how annoying I am and how I talk to much. That one day you'll see me through my eyes and will do what everyone else has done to me. You'll stop loving me and eventually be one more person in the list of many that left me." I say as tears start to form in my eyes but I don't let them free.
He looks at me and his face softens. He smiles showing his cute dimples. His free hand comes near my face. He caressed my cheek as his embrace on me tighten. He leans his head closer to mine and kiss me passionately.
"I don't think I can ever stop loving you. Everyone has flaws, I have too. Those beautiful eyes of yours that for some reason you hate so much, they are unique. I love you for who you are. I don't think you are annoying, and you shouldn't too. I know that when you look at yourself you feel disgusted, but I see a young, beautiful and strong women." he assure me. As he finish a smile starts to appear on my face.
Never in a million years did I think I'd find someone so utterly and completely perfect, someone who would make me happier than I ever dreamed I could be.
He is the love that came without warning, he had my heart before I could say no.
No matter how terrible my day was, talking with him just for a minute makes everything seem perfect.
I can't get much of his scent, his kisses, his touch. It's addicting.
I'll never finish falling in love with him.
I never want to stop making memories with him.
I may not be his first kiss, his first date... but I want to be his last everything. The same way I want him to be my last everything.
"Do you promise to never leave me and never break my heart?" I asked quietly showing the side of me I've trying to hide, my vulnerable side. The one that has insecurities and doubts.
"Yes." He says looking into my eyes showing how truly he means it.
"Pinky promise?" I say holding my finger in front of him.
"Pinky promise." he answer shaking his head with a smile as his finger interlocked with mine.
I guess promises are meant to be broken.
flashback over
After I talked with Javier we decide to go to his house. There, we watched TV and talked.
As I look at the window I see the sky turning dark. Deciding it was time to go 'home' I said goodbye to Javier and started to make my way to my car.
Home is somewhere that you miss when you are away. It's where you want to relax after a long day of school.
Home means an enjoyable, happy place where you can live, laugh and learn. It's somewhere where you are loved, respected, and cared for.
And that place was anything but.
I get into my car and drive for about twenty minutes before stopping in front of the large black gates.
The guards let me in and I drive a little bit more before parking my car and starting to walk to the front door.
I stop for a moment before opening the door knowing very well that the moment I enter they will want answers.
Taking deep breathes trying to calm down as I start to feel nervous and scared.
Today had been an emotional day, and sometimes emotions can affect our decisions. When I am emotional I tend to say things I don't mean or even spill secrets unintentionally.
Entering the mansion I sigh in relieve as no one was on sight. But I was wrong about that.
As I turn around, there, were standing all my brothers and father. They had angry, relieved and annoyed expressions.
"Where do you think you are going young lady?" says Vincenzo as I try to make my way to my bedroom to scape the interrogation that is about to happen.
"My room?" I say trying to sound confident but it ended up sounding more like a question.
Good job!
"Where were you?" asks a very annoyed Giovanni.
"Out." I answer vaguely remaining my self from telling anymore.
"No shit Sherlock!" an angry Lorenzo says while glaring at me.
"Where?" asks Giovanni trying to remain calm and totally ignoring Lorenzo's comment.
"Are we playing 20 questions? Because if we are, I have some of my own that I would love answers. Like... Why do we have so many bodyguards every time we leave the house? What's your work? And I totally understand why not to go to the third floor since it is 'strictly for work' as you say, but what is it in the basement that I'm not allowed to see?" I say trying to change the attention from the real issue.
When I finish the sentence I notice their body visibly tense. As if they are hiding a secret, which they are.
But who am I to judge, I have secrets as well.
"Don't try to change the subject Aurora." says Giovanni slowly losing his patience.
Dammit! I really thought it would work!
"Who said I'm trying? But I thought since you wanted to know my business it would be only fair if you answered some of my questions too. But as I can see you are not prepared yet. So I'll head to my room because I'm really tired." I answer starting to make my way to my room.
Before reaching the last step of the stairs someone spoke to me.
"You'll be starting school in two days, on Monday. We already bought you school materials so you won't have to. You will be studying in the same school as Antonio, Leonardo, Lorenzo and Matteo." says Vincenzo. I simply nod in understanding and continue my way to my room.
As I enter my room I immediately close the door and lock it.
I make my way to the bathroom. Deciding to take a shower, I start to undress. After showering I grab a towel and wrap it around my body.
Looking at the mirror I see a girl that used to have friends. A girl that used to laugh the hardest at her own jokes. A girl who used to be nice and caring to everyone. The kind of girl who put all her trust in you until you give her a reason not to. A girl who believed in love.
But she changed.
Now she is the kind of girl that hide her feelings and don't know how to react to them. If you look closely you can see that every now and then, when she turns away she becomes another person. A sad person, someone who is broken and damaged, and after a few seconds she goes back to 'normal'.
She now has scars and tattoos that tell stories. That made her who she is.
This girl has now decided not to hide herself. She decided that before letting someone love her she has to love herself.
As I get dressed in my night clothes, I come to the conclusion that I don't want to hide my tattoos or my eye color. I shouldn't care about what others say.
After all the only opinion that matters is mine.
Laying in my bed looking at the wall I just think about everything that has happened to me in the last few days.
I just lay in my bed alone with my thoughts. Not crying. Just feeling empty. Replaying moments of my life and trying to figure it out where did it go wrong.
After what felt like some minutes but in reality were hours, I finally decided that I won't get any sleep and went to the library.
The thing about books is that when you open them, you leave the world behind. They let you travel without moving your feet. It is like a meditation. It allows you to live multiple lives before dying.
It allows you to feel feelings that you never thought it would be possible because of fictional characters.
When reading we don't fall in love by the characters appearance. We fall in love with their thoughts, we fall in love with their soul.
You know you've read a good book when you turn the last page and feel as if you lost a friend.
Some of them you read. Some you enjoy. But some swallow you up heart and soul.
What I love the most about books is that they let me scape from the cruelty in the word.
I love the feeling when I can't remember that I'm reading. When I'm so engaged into the characters life, with the descriptions and conversations that begins to play in my head like a movie, that I forget that it's all words written on a paper.
Looking out the window, I expected to see the dark sky with starts. But what I see is a beautiful mixture of pink, orange, yellow and blue.
Turning my phone on and checking the time I realized it's been hours of me just sitting in the library couch with a book in hands and myself lost in my thoughts.
As I decided I need food, I make my way to the kitchen quietly not wanting to wake anyone.
Drinking a cup of coffee I didn't realize that someone was entering the kitchen.
"What are you doing?" says someone that I recognize as Lorenzo pulling me out of my thoughts.
I jumped in surprise and let the cup with my coffee fall.
As I look up I see a very angry brother. Following his line of sight I realized he is looking at my ankle.
More specific to my tattoo.
I'm about to try to escape but a noise of what seems like elephants coming my way makes me freeze. My brothers, father, Ashley and Brittany barged into the kitchen.
Oh fuck... I'm screwed...
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