I thank you for your patience.
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My heart pounded as dread and guilt curled within my entrails, slithering like a carnivorous snake, threatening to eat me alive from the inside out. Illumi's aura softened, the sharpness of his being gave way to an unfurling flower of love. My eyes watered and the words stuck in my throat as he grabbed my hands, holding them with so much care- because I am his flower he felt the undeniable urge to always protect. He only touched me with such gentleness. His eyes- black abysses, usually so devoid of emotion, seemed to flicker with tendrils of joy, his thin lips curled into an almost natural, loving, and n-normal smile. His eyes brightened and I realized I no longer was looking into black holes that absorb light- but rather a night sky missing its stars. I could be his stars. "I can be your stars, Illumi" I whispered aloud, like an undeniable promise- as if that would replace me telling him I'd marry him. As if telling him some cheesy rom com shit would erase the urge to shout, "NO! I LOVE YOU BUT IM DONE TRYING TO MARRY PEOPLE!"
He smiled softly and nodded, as if waiting for more. I shook my head, realizing he couldn't actually read minds. Part of me wished he could part of me wished he'd just understand what I'm thinking right at this moment. I bit my lip, not knowing how to voice my feelings, when he was so elated. I want Hisoka and Elaine at my wedding and I haven't even seen or talked to either of them. I need time to work through my own feelings, and eventually, revisit them. It's just too soon, I'm not sure. Again, i opened my mouth to try to tell him something, anything.
He squeezed my hands and said softly, "I would love to marry you. I absolutely admire and adore you. It does not have to be immediate, and I have a smattering of gifts and schemes, as you would say, regarding this, because I've been planning, and it is going to be so uplifting to share our ideas..." It was an admission of feeling, but also a prompt. For me. To talk. About marriage. He's never been this rash.
I blushed, and looked down holding, powerful and precise hands in mine. How soft was his skin, in juxtaposition with the strength his hands possessed. He could snap my wrists in half at any moment, but he chooses not to. He chooses not to because he loves me, among other reasons I'm sure. "Please God..." i whispered aloud, now staring at the ceiling, hoping with every fiber of my being that a desperate prayer from someone who typically never prayed before, would be answered.
I held my breath, the seconds passing like hours, procrastinating giving my Illumi a real answer. "Flower...?" Illumi began and i flinched, coming to grips with the realization that God had probably forsaken me.
I had to act yet I was frozen, fused to the floor.
Forsaken.
Or maybe not.
With near silent arrival, I felt a white hot wave of intrusive power wash over me. My eyes widened, as Illumi tensed, and stepped in front of me, facing the tall, decorated walls. Then, the large portrait was flung open, to reveal a handsome, older man, perhaps early sixties. He was physically built muscular and tall, yet he walked with graceful, mindful steps. His eyes were a piercing green, vibrant and lush like a forest. His teeth were stained red, like Juana's, and his his goatee was a sea of brown, peppered with gray. His skin was brown and his suit a blinding white with stripes of writhing, hissing color. He was so powerful, radiant and overbearing he may even rival the sun.
He nears us, his crow's feet crinkling amiably, yet his smile secretive . I stepped out from behind an alert and angry Illumi, yet still staying right beside him. "My dears, I must have interrupted something quite important. That's absolutely no good, is it?" He winked at me, and i shivered with goosebumps rippling across my skin. Did he know? Did he somehow hear my prayers? Relief flooded my viens and my the tension in my shoulders released. Still though, I was wary. Yet, This guy- whoever he was- came through for me. I silently thanked God, who, up until now- I hadn't heard from. Illumi was too preoccupied with this man to realize my immense relief at his interrupted confession. Illumi protectively wrapped his arm around my waist, and hugged me so hard it almost hurt. I pat his chest gently, a silent reminder that he doesn't need to hold onto me quite so tightly. That didn't change his grip, though, not today.
The air seemed to buzz with light as this man kept talking, since neither of us were, "Welcome Zoldycks, i apologize once again that you were unable to finish your trials. And.... other things."
He spoke with a strong tone and yet there was a romantic caress of his accent that made me blush, and clutch Illumi just a bit tighter. "Hello, Roberto" Illumi choked out reluctantly, in a clipped tone, all semblances of his sensitivity now banished. I frowned, realizing that the side of Illumi I got to see more and more of every day since we met is not the way he is with others.
Roberto leaned forward, effectively invading my personal space, his snakelike eyes hovering before me, the thin vertical pupils expanding to take in the sight of me, and simultaneously causing me to hold Illumi tighter. Illumi tilted his head to the side and observed Roberto with annoyed interest, but he made no move to intervene. Interesting that he didn't, Hisoka would've. But as I keep being reminding illuni isn't Hiso, and I'm grateful for that. Instead, he just stood, his hands on my shoulders, as Roberto stared. Then after a long uncomfortable silence, Lumi donned a bone chilling gaze, and directed it at Roberto.
Roberto ignored him, and rather he smiled languidly. His lips parted as he observed me, and blood rushed to my cheeks as I suppressed the urge to violently push him away. Rather, i just pressed my lips together in discontent, and stared back at him. Roberto's eyes became fixed on the horizon, as he slid down, his face now now inches from mine. "Tsk tsk, She reminds me of my departed wife, interesante..." Roberto whispered longingly, the wistful and sorrowful tone causing goosebumps to ripple across my skin. "Roberto..." Illumi warned, the tension within the room being pulled taught like a rubber band that might inevitably snap.
Roberto's breath smelled like flowers and absinthe and his body smelled like earth and fruit. Dontpanicdontpanicdontpanic. "Hm" i said quietly, and I maintained My composure, adding, "That's unfortunate, isn't it?" Illumi lips twitched upward for a flash and I couldn't help but think he liked it when I acted calm yet condescending. Basically, when I acted like him, and his pretentious yet endearing ways. His often annoying ways. I looked up to Illumi's pale complexion, and firm features and i covertly hip bumped Illumi, and he glanced down to me and gently pressed his hip into my abdomen in return, because of the height difference. Roberto glanced between us, his eyes alight with interest and he interjected, "Oh? Unfortunate? How so?" I shrugged and stated bluntly, "I can't see how that resemblance would be good for either of us. Most torturous for you, possibly fun for me." I winked at Roberto,who was now scowling. Illumi pursed his lips but said nothing.
Roberto paused, then he seemed to make a silent deduction on how to proceed. He innocently upturned his palms and responded a mellow tone, "Ah, well I am confident there is some way for us all to enjoy the wonders of my country, hm?" The way he said country I severely doubted that his country was all he was referring to. I opened my mouth to respond in jest, yet Illumi beat me to it. Illumi's jaw twitched and he twisted his mouth into a scowl as he interjected, "No.I fail to see how any of this this is relevant." Roberto ignored Illumi, and though his face didn't show it, i could feel Illumi was becoming more irritated and angry. I didn't want him to feel stressed in any way, but right now, All I could do was squeeze his arm and support him. Maybe I could help him decompress later. Roberto, ever The conversationalist asked, "When were you born, mi parajita?" My face paled as Roberto's radiant tendrils of power flowed around the room, silently attempted to hug me. I recoiled from Roberto's smiling face, as
Illumi stepped in front of me and responded, "You would do quite well to remember, Roberto Del Solare, that she is not your anything, she is mine, and you are not to lay a hand on her, ever." Roberto frowned, yet licking his thick lips as he appraised Illumi. I was beginning to get impatient and throughly disturbed. Illumi too, as he hesitated and added, "Or me, for that matter."
Roberto's thick lips curled into a smile, and i found myself hating the juxtaposition between his charming grin, and the unsettling nature of his vertical pupils. Just like Silva's. I shifted uncomfortably, holding tight to Illumi's pale muscled arms. "Truly, i must've forgotten to mentionWhat a pleasure it is to see you again, Illumi, you take so much after you mother. Your father I'm sure is overjoyed, good for you." I felt Illumi stiffen slightly and I glanced to Roberto's friendly smile. I frowned, recognizing that this old man is far from friendly, and he's probably quite far beyond me as far as manipulation goes. He noticed my stare and said in a voice barely above a whisper, as if he and I shared a secret "Handsome man isn't he?"
.I looked down, thouroghly shaken by this man's mysterious appearance and now invasive presence. I met his gaze again, seeing his green eyes sparkling with mature mirth. "Mhm" I said impassively, opting to not say much at all. At this point, The less I say, the better. Less chance for me to say the wrong thing. Roberto nodded and smiled at me, nonverbally urging me to say more.To be comfortable- which I was not. his presence filled the entire room, pushing against me, invading me. He waited for me to say something, so I smiled a fake smile and said, "Well, thank you for welcoming us to your home." A languid smile creeped onto Roberto's face, splitting his skin, cleaving his face, and deepening the bloodred stain on his teeth. Then , my throat closed up, and for a half a millisecond time marched to a stop, dragging me with it. And, Like a heat mirage, the vivid stripes on Roberto's suit began wriggling, bursting out of their casings- their pink tongues flickering- tasting the air, tasting me. The air was hot, my mouth was dry, and I am sweating, seeing only the milky eyes of ravenous serpents. The room spun and the air was heavy with evaporated blood, coating my throat, and stinging my mouth. The acrid smell of rolling flesh dried in the sun burned my nose and I clutched Illumi as I stifled a scream.
suddenly Roberto's piercing emerald eyes met mine. I panicked, unable to breathe, think, or act, and asked God if I'd accidentally made a deal with the devil.
Illumi POV
"I-Illumi" she whimpered, her voice wavering and her soul in distress. "Roberto" i spat only warning, knowing this subtle yet deadly invasion of her mental space was His doing. "Illumi" Roberto replied in a honyed tone, and as i flung Roberto's searing aura out of y/n my body screamed with murderous intent, my bones urging me to spill his blood. Y/n exhaled, and i felt her body and mind slip back into normalcy, and she hugged me. God, she hugged me, and I felt her touch and was reminded of just how much of an ideal partner she is. How much I need to hear and feel her distinct aura, whimsical, free, energetic, and caring. How I need to stay vigilant and keep her safe. i felt relief wash over me-then overwhelming anger stab me. I looked to Roberto, then My pin, without My realizing it, had become lodged in his throat. My stomach dropped, as I realized I'd acted on instinct to protect y/n. But this, this is bad, I, for a brief moment,lost my self control- this is what father warned me about. He too had issues with self control with my mother, but never to this extent. I need to focus. At this point, my family cannot take y/n from me, but they can take away other things- other essential things- people. Killua, he's my charge, and if I make a mistake, I will not be allowed continue my work, or advise after Killua if I cannot control myself. I must continue to take care of my brother, even from afar, because through the pin I made especially for him, I can do anything. I need to protect my brother, and my family- which will soon include y/n.
Y/n's lips quivered as she held onto me, and I tried not to appear as if I enjoyed the way she clung to me for life. I held her close and I looked up to see that Roberto was gushing crimson, staining his suit, yet I hoped he would not die. My father would be displeased, as would many of the Seven families be. That would quite literally be bad for business. Y/n and I held each other and stared tentatively, Roberto remained silent, his eyes closed, as he held his hand over his critical wound. I saw nor felt no spike in power and I wondered if he was healing himself in some undetectable manner. He is far more powerful than me, so the prospect of my killing him seemed unlikely, yet it dawned on me that this was not how diplomatic meetings should transpire. "I-Illumi what the hell is happening to him?" Y/n said as she began to regain her composure. I furrowed my brow in confusion. "His hand is glowing, and there's something..." Y/n began as she stared in fear and awe. "I see nor detect any changes." I stated simply. She wrapped her arms around my torso, her face conveying frustration and rancor. "Hmph, well fucking hell, I'm crazy" she said as she hugged me tighter. I hugged her in return, and probed her mind to ensure she was indeed fully functional.
At first, I used my pin to check that all was in order with her mind, heart, spirit, and soul nothing out do the ordinary was there. There was the usual overwhelming love for me, the desire to go outside and absorb nature, the urge to fly, the omnipresent lamentation for Hisoka, the thoughts of the present and the future, the churning wheels of her mind absorbing, feeling, contemplating. Then of course there were the more elusive feelings that she actively attempted to hide from me? suppressed sexual desires, the guilt, the-the...hesitation on marrying me.
I furrowed my brow, it was no longer hesitation, it was now fear. I channeled more of myself through my pin, my chest full and heavy. That isn't true, she wants to marry me. Yet, I feel that now that...W-why? How had I not seen such feelings before? I was I actively ignoring them? Each night I enter her soul, methodically mending the rifts, helping heal, and making sure hisoka, or any other parasitic infection of virus has re-entered her cognizance. I check every night, so this must be a new development, a harrowing new development.
"Illumi, are you inside my- Uh- my mind right now?" Y/n asked, tugging on my silken kimono sleeve. Fuck, I was reckless and charged into her, chasing my suspicions and hoping for answers. "Yes." I said, my hands now shaking. I am so reckless, so uncontrolled, so wholly unworthy of the Zoldyck name. So uncontrolled and disgraceful. So- "nice. So Illumi, I'm okay with you poking around in there because I know you do. I appreciate and need you inside me,especially after Roberto's little trick, but baby, next time warn me. It feels... interesting, interesting in a weird way, not bad just...." She sighed and held my hand, her gaze downturned. I exhaled slowly, nodding. She really does need to stop saying inside me.
~
A split second later Roberto's striking eyes flew open, and his hand retreated from his newly healed throat. Y/n flinches as Roberto snaps his gaze to me. He was more annoyed than anything as he pursed his lips and stated, "I apologize for being a bit of a bastard with your partner, but quite frankly I truly was not expecting her to be so receptive to my power." Y/n inhaled sharply, her body tensed, and opened her mouth to speak then shut it again, and glanced to me. "Receptive?" I ask, my limbs shaking with rage. Yet, I too though am curious as to what he is referring to. Roberto ground his teeth, his accent now more prevalent as he spat, "You should stop asking questions and m apologize to me, you little fish-eyed groundhog looking fucker..." y/n slid her arms out from around me, and she stepped in front of me, and put her hands on her hips assertively. "Roberto maybe you and your snake bitches need to take an afternoon siesta, because we didn't come here to fuck with bipolar old men, plus, you're the one who fucked with us first." Roberto frowned and She crossed her arms with such pure resolve on my behalf. "You are really..." Roberto said under his breath, seemingly calming down. As such, she unconsciously wrapped me in a cocoon with her sweet air, as she sometimes does when I am facing an issue. I felt a blush rush to my cheeks as felt the lovely warmth of her protective love.
Roberto shook his head, and his deceptive smile returned and he whispered happily, "Not just anyone can see my snakes, you know?" I frowned realizing my blunder. Y/n scoffed and said, "Is that a.. euphemism?" He chuckled and then I chastised myself, for not figuring this sooner. They speak of snakes, he healed himself, and the name Del Solare could be translated as "of the Sun". Clearly, His power seems to be connected to something nature- related, some outside source of power. Perhaps some sun diety? I do not know. Nen comes from within, while the Del Solare power must be coming from without. "Oh no my dear, I speak of only the real. My family and I are people-" "Roberto" I interjected, knowing I cannot allow this man to try to connect y/n with some contaminated Oxacan power source. Clearly, she has some predisposition to detecting it. How unfortunate, I must ensure she doesn't connect with it.
Y/n raised her eyebrows, curious, the animosity of a few minutes ago now fading. This entire situation is to be prevented, now. I quickly finished my thought and said, "Roberto that's quite enough, if you would please direct my wife and I to our quarters." Roberto chuckled under his breath and he jabbed, "Mmmm bit premature on that matter aren't we?" I felt the muscles in my jaw tighten and I clutched y/n and seethed, "Now." Y/n flinched and looked up at me, her eyes wide. I realized I haven't used such a tone around her at all. Roberto sighed heavily and waved his hand dissmisvely. "Ah, whatever you say, Illumi, you're always so stubborn..." Y/n's face grew more perplexed and she glanced to me in question. I have literally never met this man before today, perhaps he thinks because I know his son, that he knows me. "Roberto, I am inploring you to take us to our room before I lose my temper." He sighed, and led the way again, dusting the small flakes of blood off his suit, ignoring the large patches that were beyond help. I looked to y/n and slipped her hand into mine, and squeezed. She smiled a bit, but still remained upset, and I could feel her longing for answers. I silently assured her all was well as I pressed my palm against hers. Whether she understands or not, It was best I stopped that conversation when I had. It's best I minimize her contact with these people in general. yet I was too preoccupied with the thought of our interrupted proposal to properly realize what he was doing. I wanted to admonish myself properly, but y/n most likely wouldn't like such practices. She would worry, and ask questions, so it is best that I find another way to etch such lessons into my mind. I wondered if I'm losing my edge because of that. Though, so long as I have y/n by my side, I will find a way to serve both her and my family.
~
Finally, we arrived at a dizzyingly vibrant and ornate door. As he opened the doors for us, he broke the established silence and said softly, "In a few hours, if you two so choose, we will be having a dinner party, rejoining the others. Please consider attending that as well, we would love to have you." He smiled and, And with that, he disappeared, leaving us to walk into this room. I shut the doors behind us, and almost gagged at the design of this room. It was spacious and airy, and that's where the upsides ended. The floor was again, covered in ugly, thick woven rugs, the walls a cherrywood brownish color, contrasting with the bright flowers painted on the walls as design. The bed, nightstands, and closet space, stood to our left while the couches, desks, and stocked bookshelves sat. The couches were a pale green, reminiscent of poison or perhaps bile-ridden vomit. Then, farther down, there was a balcony, the gate being iron wrought, and the a sliding glass door was stained glass in the shape of a dual headed snake. Some devilish work no doubt, such heathens worship nature Im sure.
Finally, through a canvas awning, at the far end, the bathroom stood.Our luggage sat neatly in the corner, our clothes and other amenities already unpacked. Y/n visibly deflated as she used strings of her nen to unzip herself out of the golden jumpsuit, that matched my kimono. She looked quite good in it, and she and I had picked it out, yet she didn't know it would be our arrival attire. I sighed, observing the natural curve of her spine, and the beautiful fleshly incarnation of perfection as she undressed. "I could've unzipped it for you, my dear." My words spill out, as I neared her. Her bare feet lifted up off the ground, she hovered in the air for a moment, and she turned away from me and murmured, "Don't call me that." She paused and sank onto the bed, the bed sighing as she laid. "Please." She whispered, now staring at the ceiling blankly, her mind partially closed to me at this moment. I could force my way in with my pin, but I would rather not do such things unless absolutely necessary. Her beautiful body was relaxed, yet she wore a slight frown, a whirlwind of emotions churning within her. The throbbing pleasantness of her nen was present as she noticed my stare and gave me a causal smile. I feel the overwhelming urge to hug her, so I slip off my shoes and apologize got calling her the name Hisoka once called her,"I apologize my sweet flower. I am entirely careless today and I feel..." I trailed off, not knowing if I should tell her the level of despair losing control over myself brings. The extent to which I feel empty and purposeless the moment I finish or perhaps mess up a mission, and the contrast between my desires to fly away with y/n and my duty to the Zoldyck family. "I feel lacking in purpose."
Her full attention shifted to me, her eyes unusually keen yet caring, as always. She remained laying down, with her hands folded behind her head and she furrowed her brow, and thought for a moment. She sat up, leaning against the headboard, her hands outstretched. "Come here, my baby, now." She whispered longingly, her arms outstretched. I nodded eagerly, and just as I walked toward the bed. Then she created a small whirlwind at my feet to lift me onto the bed. It dipped slightly as I crawled onto the soft, amazingly pillowy structure. This bed being of the few good things about this room. I made my way over to her, pausing before her, admiring her languid smile, her warm and energetic aura, and her benevolent gaze. She smiled softly and whispered, "Illumi, you were raised feeling like your ability to kill, follow directions, and control yourself is the pinnacle of your worth, and purpose. Your worth is set at one million thousand hundred percent, and it never changes. Even if you fuck up. Even if you fuck up tp the tenth power, I'll always love you. So please baby, don't torture yourself for being human. You do it so often and I hate to see it.." She smiled at me, raining down on me with a pleasant, honeyed expression of love. "Because contrary to popular belief, you are human." She finished.
Don't torture yourself for being human
. My heart pounded as I felt every fiber of my being throb with the glazed morsels of delight and love she constantly feeds me. "Come place yourself on top of my lap, y/n." I say as I salivate, wanting more of her affection, her hugs, her comforting presence. She nods, and says dutifully, "yes." She crawled to me, her beautiful bosom between her arms, her galaxy eyes framed by a pink mascara she insisted on wearing, her dyed hair still firmly placed from when i styled it this morning. "Illumi, are you hot right now? You're blushinggg." She asks gently as she wraps her voluptuous legs around my torso, and slides her arms around my neck. Her question is quickly forgotten as my eyes are drawn to her lovely pink lips, and I wish to see them smile again. She reads my mind, and gives me a tiny smile, and then, after a moment, she sighs. My body hums with delight as she twirls the vellus hairs at the name of my neck around her index fingers. My hands crave the feeling of her heavenly flesh under mine, and I lean forward, my lips hovering over Hers as whisper, "May I touch you?" She tilts her head to the side, and moves her hands up from the nape of my neck to massage my scalp. "May I t-touch you?" I ask again, groaning at the feeling of her nails affectionately digging into my scalp. She presses her body into me tenderly, and she smiles at me, as if we share a special inside joke, a smile that makes me know I am the most important person to her. she replies facetiously, "Well you're already touching me. I'm on your lap, aren't I? Your pin is always inside me too, so aren't you always touching me?" She kisses my mouth softly and she continues, "What's the point in asking for permission if you're already doing it?" Why must She constantly remind me of me being inside her? Why must she tease me, and constantly remind me of how much I absolutely adore her? " Y/n please, let me?" I ask, begging now because I want to hold her, and let my fingers glide across her body, every part. I stare into her eyes, pleadingly, searchingly, because I long for our intimacy. Our physical, spiritual, and divine touch. She presses a soft, brief kiss to my mouth again and she whispers into my lips, "Yes Illumi, you may touch me, please don't try to make love, okay?" I blush and my heart rate accelerates as I ask, "Why would you think I would? Every night since that day, we sleep with one another, yet I always respect your wishes. I work relentlessly to do so." She strokes my hair, tucking it behind my ears, and I suppress the urge to hide my ears behind my hair again. My hands find their own way to her thighs, and I close my eyes and felt her thick thighs, my mouth salivating. She weaved a cool breeze between us, and she said softly, "Baby I can just tell... but don't forget, I love you, and I need you, and..." I rubbed her thighs, my hands sliding across her smooth skin, feeling the ghost of stretch marks, yet otherwise unmarked. My hands slipped under the lace fabric of her pink panties and I groaned, hearing her cute, little "oh!" as I gripped her cute little ass and she tightened her arms around me.
"I love you as well, you are my precious flower, and it is my honor to have you. I own you, you're entirely my woman, yes?." She frowned for a moment, and I added wholeheartedly, "And you own me as well." She then nodded in approval and smiled demurely and nuzzled her face into my cheek, as she conjured a warm, airy wind that curled through me, and imbued me with scintillas of languorous swaths of brightness. I closed my eyes, feeling her face on mine, her skin on mine, her ass in my hands, and experiencing unparalleled fullness and peace. My mouth watering at the mere feeling of our intimacy. She pressed a kiss onto my nose, causing my nervous system to release uncouth amounts of oxytocin, serotonin, and norepinephrine into my bloodstream. "Lumi I like your ears, you really need to wear your hair up more often, what do you think?." She asks softly, as she leans forward to kiss my left ear. My body shivers as I feel her lips press onto the shell of my ears, and she praises me with her mere touch. My ears are detestable, they are large and they stick out in a manner that is ugly. When Machi and I were engaged she reminded me of this, and it was Hisoka who recommended I wear my hair long, in part, to cover my ears. In addition, my appearance looks substantially better when my hair has been grown out. She knows this, and yet
here is my lovely y/n, doing the exact opposite of how they've scorned me. "Illumi, you're blushing so much, you're just a sweetheart, do you like it when I kiss you on your ears?" She said endearingly, as she caressed my ear. "Y-yes, put your lips on me... ohhh" I responded, fumbling for my words as I felt my soul become drenched by the languorous showers of her unhurried attention and affection. The lucious embers of her being shone through her smile, her aura, and her eyes as her presence became more mindful and sensitive, "your ears are so perfect..." she smiled and leaned forward, her lips curling around my lobe, "mmand sexy, Lumi " she whispered lovingly into my ear. I hugged her closely, letting my hands travel up the lovely curve of her spine. Gently, I unhooked her bra so I could feel each of her vertebrate under my fingers.
Her hands found my clothing and she tugged on my shirt and whimpered in my ear. A pit of molten desire pooled in my stomach as I slid out of my clothing to reveal my chest. My mind clouded with glee as I asked her while squeezing her ass, "Do you want to press your mammary glands against my chest?" She kissed my ear, her soft lips enveloping me, and her clear voice responded lovingly, "Mmmmmm, okay baby." I groaned and felt my penis engorge and she whimpered and I felt her thighs shake as she said, "uhnnnn Lumi..." I ripped her bra off, and felt the soft perfect gloves of milk glands press against my muscle. "Perhaps it would be pleasurable if you... inform me as to how me how much you want me" I began, feeling her wet underwear grind against my penis, knowing how much she wanted to open her trembling legs for me. She whimpered and kissed my ear haphazardly and she said in a warbled tone, "I- I you're perfect"
I smiled and she continued, stroking my left cheek, her plump lips slowly wrapped around the shell of my ear. "Lumi you're the perfect Zoldyck, you're so discerning, you always know what's best in every situation, you deserve to have control, and riches" Now I whimpered, my eyes rolling back with pleasure, as her thick, honeyed words sank into me, and dribbled into my chest and diffused throughout my spirit, warming my limbs. Her eyes were wide, and infinitely loving as she glanced to me, then leaned forward and She licked my helix softly, and whispered, "I'm so glad I belong with you, I'm so sooo grateful, no one else deserves to own me, to succeed like you do every day" I blushed and melted into her, the strength of my limbs all but disappearing. I felt my body sink into the sheets, the world slow and sweet, like everything was steeped in molasses.
She smiled and sat atop me, her being outlined in a bright beam of twinkling bits of water and light she had conjured for us. She leaned down, and her plump lips slowly wrapped around the shell of my ear. She took my hands in hers, pressing her soft, small hands into mine, and folding our fingers together, grounding me, and linking myself to her enduring and loving presence. "Illumi, you are so worthy of being the most powerful and perfect man in existence, you deserve to be joyful, in love, and happy" She kissed my left ear, her hot wet tongue stroking its folds, making me clutch her thighs and my lips be pulled into a smile. "Illumi, I love you, you deserve to have anything you can conceive, baby." She whispered softly and genuinely. I smiled wider and squeezed her hand, and she held me firmly in return. Such an indulgence, she is.The warmth of her shining purple eyes imbue me with the joy of living.Her pupils enlargened once I entered her vision, signaling she found me attractive. I rubbed her backside and smiled freely. She is made for me. Yet I wished our hugs had lasted longer, her touch always seems to imbue me with the glinting scintillas of sunlight itself. So synonymous with her energetic and effervescent ways. I closed my eyes, relishing her body on top of mine, and cherishing her words, her love, and her lips- all of which making me feel as if myself, and all aspects of my existence, including my ears, are worthy and elegant. She makes me feel loved, making me envision a future where everything I do feels perfectly right, and where I actually have agency over my life. Where I don't need to punish myself for a foolish mistake. Where I don't need to cover up my scars. I know we still must learn so much more about one another, and strengthen our bond. Still, she gives me wholesome pleasure in the present, and hope for the future. So, I simply relinquished myself to her undying attentiveness and her astounding warmth.
~
Y/n POV
After a long ass while of stroking his ego, and sucking his ears until they were cherry red, he fell asleep. Feeding him whatever he wanted to hear would get old if I did it too often, but today I was feeling generous. He became so relaxed and blithe I hoped that he felt better about himself and his existence. I was horny, so that also helped my willingness to metaphorically massage his balls. He had a lot of self- loathing tied up in the severe trauma of his past, and I honestly wanted to help alleviate it for him, especially after not being able to accept his proposal. But, I'm surprised that he didn't bring it up, but grateful for it. Hopefully Roberto didn't have anything to do with that...
"Haaa" I sighed, admiring Illumi's gleeful smile, and his blushing, glad expression of joy. He always seems to be fending off some brand of despair and from what little I know about his training, it completely broke him. "Poor thing, my baby Lumi Lumi." I whispered aloud, stroking his cheek, and watching him look so utterly happy. It's a miracle he turned out to be so kind and understanding toward me, though I suppose he learned what not to do over these past few months by firsthand experience, and by watching Hisoka and I. Hopefully he won't bring it up anytime soon. I think after thinking about it, it's unavoidable, I'll just have to tell him the truth eventually, but I'm still afraid to.
I sat for a moment on bed, mulling it over. After a long pause I came to the conclusion that I don't want to get married until Elaine and Hisoka both can be there. However long it takes to track them both down, and make up with Hisoka. I sighed, feeling tears come to my eyes at the mere thought of Hisoka and this whole situation. I'd want him to come to my wedding, and walk me down the aisle. He's a ducking selfish asshole, but he's my childhood best friend of about ten years. I think that at some point, not sure when, I need to make up with him and his crazy ass. Elaine would have to be there too. I need to talk to both of them, and Illumi's been doing a good job of keeping me focused on my own healing, but at least I could talk to Elaine? I know Illumi would be very upset if I tried to contact Hisoka so soon but I know I need to call Elaine.
I shook my head and looked at Illumi, stroking his hair, and admiring how his jet black hair sprawled across the red bedspread. Seeing his sharp nose, his lips now curved into a smile, his strong jaw, his cute chin, and and his flushed face, and of course his lithe body. His aura was mostly within him, meandering throughout his being, as if he was meditating or healing. Thus, his presence was much less striking than normal, probably because he was being very acquiescent earlier, by absorbing everything i had to give. I smiled, Honestly, I loved seeing him like this, seeing him without the burden of his torturous past, feeling his mind drift toward positivity and gladness, even if only for a brief moment.
~
While Illumi slept, i took a warm bath. It was a large basin-like structure, with massaging jets of water. There too were multiple faucets, one large one with water, others with a stream of delicious scents and oils. I was happy and eager to try their amenities, especially the mix of unknown yet endearing scents. I ended up with a delicious scent of an airy, citrusy alcoholic drink i did not know the name of, and a deep, floral scent that paired well with the first. As I watched the swirling water within my bath, and inhaled the soothing scents. i relaxed and decided i wouldn't stress myself out over any of this shit. Illumi would just have to deal with my desicions, just like everybody else. But i still hoped he wouldn't bring it up today, that's a discussion for later. I leaned my head back memorizing this soft texture of this water, so perhaps I could conjure something similar one day.
My mind seemed to clear as I inhaled comforting steam and silence of the bathroom, cherishing this time with myself, and almost falling asleep. Often times, Illumi would just sit there and watch me bathe, or rather he'd bathe with me sometimes. So, I'm glad I have this time to myself. Sitting here, alone and feeling the clear, dewy water gather on my skin and wash across me, I'm reminded of how nice it is to be alone. That is, when my thoughts aren't screaming at me or I feel like bawling my eyes out. I used to appreciate Illumi's constant presence, because I was grieving, and I needed him to hold on to. But for some reason, today, right now, I'm just glad to be alone and be in the quiet with myself. Time to myself... I blushed thinking of Illumi's hard, muscles, his slim long fingers that would be perfect for... I blushed, letting my fingers travel between my legs as I remembered his beautiful body, how eager he is to touch me, how full he made me feel on that day. "Uhnnn Lu-Lumiii" I whispered, letting two fingers slip in, then adding a third, and feeling my walls expand and a bud of pleasure bloom as my body warmed. "Illumiiii" I moaned quietly, violently thrusting my fingers within me, my legs shaking as I imagined his naked body slamming into mine, his black hair raining down on me as I give myself up to him, and forget about the pain of my past. "Illumi please, please, please, please," Tears streamed down my eyes as I cried out and orgasmed far too soon. Intrusive thoughts about Hisoka pounded into my consciousness, yet For once, embraced them then let them pass. "Illumi" I whimpered again, hoping he'd love me better than Hisoka.
~
A smile graced my face, as honey replaced my bones and I sank into the bath. I smiled, feeling water caress me. I discovered a face mask in one of the many bottles on the lip of the bath, and I used it. My face tingled as I applied the slimy green mask onto my face, not understanding the language the label was in. I sank down, relaxing further. I sighed, thankful to feel more sane and centered than I had in a very long time.After I shampooed and conditioned my hair, I lathered myself down with soap, and washed myself, using a special soap we'd prefer pacted for my private areas. I shaved next, appreciating the silky softness of the shaving cream. Then finally, I slid out of the bathtub and covered myself in an array of body lotions and oils, and applied my toner and face lotion. By the time I was finished moisturizing my body and hair, I was feeling utterly rejuvenated and refreshed.
I stop for a moment and admire the ornate and floral bathroom doors, nothing three cotton robes hanging from the back. Quietly, I pad outside of the bathroom stepping on clouds of my conjured air so as not to wake Illumi. I smile as I enter the room and admire the colorful and eclectic furniture that somehow creates an atmosphere of interest and rustic creativity. I glance to Illumi, only to see his eyes closed, well mostly. Though I stop and wait for a minute, watching his stomach rise and fall as his breathing is at an abnormally low rate. "Hm" I say aloud thinking of how he's been trained to maximize his physical and mental capacity for ruthless killing, but they really missed the mark on that mental one. Then, as if on cue, his eyelids fluttered open, and his black eyes, now like softened igneous slowly slid over to me. I blew him a kiss softly, recognizing a blushing drowsy Illumi, who apparently woke up from a very nice dream. My smmmm succulent y/n? Your scent is new, mmmm come to your gardener" Illumi whispered groggily, causing me to scrutinize him in confusion. I expanded my en so he could feel me, and be aware and grounded. Usually he never sounds groggy, or even acts it. He just simply wakes up and is totally wide awake. So is not the case right now. He simply watched me in silence, his eyes half lidded. I watched him admire me, and I figured my community service hours I put in earlier must be the cause of his abnormally relaxed state. I casually smiled at him, glad to feel his aura be so at ease. I blew him another few kisses, and conjured a Just of warm, humid air to caress his cheek as of I kissed him. He groaned, causing butterflies to to frantically throw themselves against the walls of my stomach. I turned back around, quietly checking the first cabinet I saw for my underwear, yet finding Illumi's. "My sweet peony..." Illumi said while expanding his en within mine, causing me to feel awash in his strong, almost domineering presence, which made me weak in the knees. I hoped he didn't notice like he usually would, considering the state he's in. I moved to the next cabinet, feeling his eyes, now sharper, on my back. "Yknow honeybear, we should go to that dinner" I hopefully while discovering my panties and bras in the third drawer. I smiled, picking out the burnt orange color set, because that was the bra without the underwire. "No, I-I desire..." he petered off as I put my bra on, despite the fact I was now facing away from him. "Illumi how are you going to tell me no?" I ask in a disgruntled tone. "I want to learn more about this place and these people and I'll be damned if I allow one sour experience ruin our entire visit!" I said, without waiting for his reply.
As I finished putting on my bra he said, "I said no. please comply." Illumi repeated simply, as if he's the arbiter of the situation. I balked and spoke back to him "I said no please comply" I echoed back mockingly , as I slipped one leg into a red thong just to mess with him. Then as I get pulled it up I whined, "lumiiiiii you're so mean to me, I wanna go out. I'm wanting to socialize today, I feel kinda better today." I say in a pitiful tone, slowly bringing up my panties, and pulling the G string snugly between my cheeks. "We must discuss this, so please." He said pleadingly, "come sit on my lap." I rolled my eyes. He always wants to have our serious discussions while I sit in his lap, probably because it's hard to be angry with one another like that. He probably also knew it made me crave his penis, his hugs, and his affection. "Come" He said, and i reluctantly nodded. I enjoyed being on his lap more than Iike to admit.
I settled on his lap, wrapping my arms around him, and as soon as his long fingers began sliding down my stomach, I felt my nipples ache to be touched, and my vulva scream to be filled, and a blush creeped to my face. "My sweet flower." He began, his probing black eyes boring into me, "such humans are dangerous and powerful." I shook my head, upset that I can't go out. "For more than a month I've been cooped up crying and lamenting, and I know they're dangerous and I'm glad you want to protect me but I want to do something! I'll be so careful, I promise Illumi Zoldyck. " I assured him. "No, stop inquiring." He said, a bit more force behind his voice, now, a tone that made me crave his approval and protection. I felt scolded for no good reason. He scowled and I needed him to smile again, for my sake. I shook my head and looked into his eyes, "I'm sorry Lumi." He exhaled and nodded, and I added, "Well fine but I don't want to sleep with you tonight, so, hmph!" He nodded and said, "Interesting, how will you cope when you wake up crying, or perhaps what will do do when go to cuddle with your bedmate and I am not there? Or what of you find yourself pressing your naked body against mine and gripe about how cold and lost you are? How will you fare without my warmth to guide you?" I was getting more upset by the second, and he just continued haughtily, "What will you do when you whimper my name in the middle of the night, and go to rub yourself against me- and I am not there?"
"You're an ass, Lumi." He just smirked, calm and levelheaded while he successfully riled me up. "I was cold and that- it was one time. You liked it!" I exclaimed. He pat my head demeaningly. Then, I scoffed and tried to pry myself out of his grip, only for him to hug me tighter, like a vice. "Of course I liked it but I am simply pointing out that I worry for the quality of your sleep without me, that is all." He kissed my cheek and whispered "You're my flower." I blushed and replied, "I am sooo not. Not right now" he kissed my cheek and whispered, "Somehow, insults from you always sound so sweet." I huffed and guilt creeped into my stomach as I whispered, "I didn't mean it. I love you, honeybear. Well I meant if a little, but if I'm spending all eternity with you we need some excitement, huh?" His blackened pupils enlarged, and my stomach dropped as I realized I could barely see his pupils, but I could. "Your irises are always black..." my brow furrowed as I neared him, realizing I could actually see the faint outline of his pupil. "I've never actually seen your pupils before now, wow what a dayyyyy". His face split into a smile and he leaned forward to kiss me and I rolled my eyes and whispered playfully, "whoa there Casanova". He blinked and replied in confusion, "I want to kiss you. i am not Casanova, and we are not currently role playing" I balked at him and then I almost made fun of him, but I reminded myself that his trauma and lack of social skills is not his fault. "Do you want to role play, is that what you are telling me?" He asked tentatively and I shook my head and held back a laugh. "No Illumi I don't want to role play right now. But if we were, you'd definitely be Casanova, hep very charming you are." He frowned and said quietly, while stroking my spine, "Do you say this in jest?" I kissed his ear and whispered with a chuckle, "Yes, I say this in jest, but it's okay. I love you for who you are, my honey". I smiled, closing my eyes and laying my head on his shoulder. "I wanna sleep, with you." I whispered as my eyes fluttered shut, and I added, "like just sleep, Kay?" He made an odd sound that I think was close to a purr and he whispered, "Sleep with me, yes, please." His arms curled around me and I sank into the encompassing darkness of slumber.
~~~ ⚠️disturbing imagery
"AhhahHahahAhahaha!" Hisoka's smile split his face, tears streaming down his cheeks, his mascara and makeup askew. He sits in the darkness, chained to a wall, his wrists heavy. Chrollo silently observes, as the sliver of light that Hisoka clings to gets smaller and smaller and eventually winks out of existence.
His room in the Phantom troupe hideout is so dark, so chilling, and he can feel the spiders crawling up his back and gnawing at his eyes. They like especially to squeeze past his irses and burrow tiny, interconnected holes behind his brain. He feels them laying eggs in his sockets at night, and sweeping into his nasal passage, their spindly legs scraping his innards and causing him to bleed . The drugs mix with fear and loss to create the fat eels that slither down his throat and tear the inside of his stomach apart every night. "I miss her" he pleads as he violently crashes his chains against the cage, his eyes wide, his body taut, his mind lost. Now it's not only lost, it's been blended through a meat grinder, the folds bursting with splattering drops of blood, to create a delicious lasagna prime for devouring.
Wipe your mouth please.
Hisoka sobs, the song he always sung when he found himself locked in the Zoldyck dungeon is after one of his and Illu's lover's quarrels. His voice strains and breaks as he sobs, "Illu with the funny shoes, dancing all about! Illu who threw my heart out of v-view! We can screw, you can sue, and oh Illu, you're s-s-so untrue to me and you!" The song doesn't make him feel any better.. "Cranky little mice" He whisperes, his throat raw, as he feels the phantom contaminated kisses of rats feeding off his slowly decomposed flesh.
Hisoka is heavy, so heavy, and he would've already killed himslef if mommy hadn't told him what death is like.
"Just an endless stream of tumultuous seas, dark skies, and chains. When you die, that's all that awaits you, my little #4. Do you want to be choked by the dark forever, do you?"
The chains mommy locks him up with are heavy, but his heart is heavier. But he doesn't want to be in the dark forever, mommy let's him out when it's time to dance and kill and dance and killanddanceandkillanddance. Keep pirouetting and try not to slip on the smeared blood. That's his life now, that's what the crows always try to tell him, but their eyes are glassy and their mouths are stuffed with cotton as they gag, and choke to death. But that watch him, he just can't hear them. "Illu, with the funny- " desperate clangs of raging anger borne of fear echo, yet they fall on deaf ears. After days of darkness and deprivation, he allows himslef fo sink down on the floor, curled in the defensive ball he never thought he'd have to be in again. He thought that the darkness died with his family when he killed them. Then, thought that this darkness would end when he and Illu broke up.
.That darkness just doesn't die so easily. He thinks his bunny will come back, but he knows life is pain, with pockets of pleasure. Who's to say if his bunny will forgive him trying to kill her? He knows now that he needs to treat his bunny better, think about her before himself. But that's so harrddddddd. He loves killing bunnies, he's done it for a long time now. How can the bunny love him back if he's always wanting to crush her little neck? It's her fault, for not fighting back. "She doesn't love me" he thinks, and he comes to the idea that If anything, the darkness is the only one that loves him.
because it's the only thing he can truly count on to return again.