New Year's Day
I blink awake, numbly staring at the ceiling for a few moments. Sighing, I roll over to my phone unlocking it. A burst of "Happy New Year" texts appear so I just toss my phone aside and skulk over to the bathroom washing both my face and teeth. I finish, dropping my toothbrush onto my counter staring into the mirror dejected. My night starts to unravel in my mind so I quickly tear my attention away suddenly with the urge to eat my feelings. Dragging myself over, I pop my fridge ajar. A blast of frigid air hits me and I take in all of the empty shelves with zero food. I clench my hands. I ask for one thing! Ugh!
Slamming it closed, I shove some shoes onto my feet grumbling, and savagely rip open my front door to search for a vending machine. But, immediately I stiffen. To my right, a slumped figure in a wrinkled leather jacket has his head in his hands. I still, instantly squeezing my eyes shut. I cautiously peek them open again, but dammit he's still there.
"Bash?" I whisper hesitantly. His body unfolds from his huddled position and those fiery blue orbs lock onto mine.
"Emma," he breathes relieved, and smoothly shoots up. He looks worse than normal, weathered down and with under-circles beneath his eyes, but he still appears better than when I first woke up.
"Yo-you stayed here all night?" I ask fidgeting with my pajama dress tee.
"I needed to talk to you."
I swallow, plastering a cool expression on my face. "It's fine, I understand. That whole thing never should have happened," I mutter detachedly.
His face drops. "I—" he clears his throat rubbing the nape of his neck. "I don't know what to say. God, I am such a selfish prick."
My gaze drops to the floor. "No, you're not," I respond.
"Don't defend me!" A loud crunch ripples the air and I glance up to find that he just punched the wall.
My eyes bulge. "Bash!" I shout in horror.
A neighbor with disheveled hair peers their head out the door and I frantically pull Bash inside to my dorm.
"Calm down!" I yell.
He is pacing nearly ripping his hair out with how forcibly he is running his fingers through it. He looks angry. How dare he? I am the one that deserves to be angry.
"Why are you the one angry," I snarl.
"Why wouldn't I be?"
I still cannot do this. "Ugh just get out!" I exclaim.
Bash stops in his tracks and I want to curl into myself at the devastated look that crosses his face.
"What? No, wait," he begs hoarsely. "Emma, I am sorry. I can't even look at myself right now, but please can we talk about this?"
"Everything is clear," I mutter stepping back putting space between us.
"Emma," his voice breaks.
"If you stay I am just going to yell at you," I spat at him.
"Then yell at me! I deserve it. I messed everything up!"
I turn away from him. I am so lost, I don't understand anything anymore.
"Fine. Why did you say you were jealous but then push me away?" I murmur not having the courage to look him in the eyes.
"What?" He says confused.
"You said you were jealous about the kiss and that you thought about me. Yet, you pushed me away when I kissed you. Was it because it wasn't what you expected?" I ask brittlely, my fingers wringing together in nerves.
"Oh my god no Emma." He shakes his head and I feel him tread closer behind me.
I whip around to him, my ire sparking.
"Then what the hell Bash! There is no other explanation," I scream.
"It's clearly not like that!" He hollers back.
"Then what is it like? What is going on!"
"Do you really not know! I don't want to be just your friend anymore Emma," Bash shouts.
I freeze, everything going blank for an instant. I think my heart may have just stopped. I grasp the nearby chair for support because he did not just say—
"I don't know why I even try to hide it anymore, because all I do is fuck everything up." He shakes his head furiously. "I am literally screwing up the single last best thing I have in my life, our friendship. I promised myself I wouldn't put you in another position that made you overthink us or force you to reciprocate my attraction. But of course, I wrecked that vow as soon I made it." He is rambling taking shallow rapid breaths as he speaks. I, on the other hand, am seconds away from collapsing into a stupefied state.
"I seriously thought I could handle just being friends with you. It's not as if it was a new feeling, but it's like I have a self-destruct button. You already told me the last time was a mistake and looked horrified out of your mind. But I am a terrible, greedy, hopeless person that made you re-analyze our friendship again because I revealed how jealous I am. I just keep jeopardizing us by putting you in these situations and I am so sor—" He blares.
I clench my teeth as I interrupt him. "That's not true Bash! Oh my gosh. Maybe if you just stopped talking for one minute you would have known you weren't alone with your feelings! I wasn't pressured to check if I felt anything for you, that's-that's crazy!" I yell back frustrated at his foolhardiness.
"What?" Pure disbelief washes over his face.
"I wouldn't have kissed you if I-" I gulp starting to acknowledge what I am unmasking to him. "If I didn't feel anything more for you," I add in a whisper.
I am near hyperventilating. Oh my god. Oh my god. I just confessed the secret I had been holding in for as long as I have known, to the one person I never thought I would tell. Everything is coming out into the open and my mind is losing it.
Bash gazes at me in pure astonishment, looking as if he never has seen me before. He steps forward.
"You do? How is this... when?" His blue eyes were wild like a blue flame igniting.
I open my mouth to speak, but nothing else comes out.
"You have feelings for me?" He reiterates. He looks at me, really looks at me. His eyes drop down to travel along my body and stop at my face like I am not a real thing standing before him. I swallow deeply and jerk my head to a nod.
"I am sorry I just yelled Emma," Bash whispers.
"It's okay," I answer absently still reeling in shock. My whole world is tilting. He advances to me lifting his thumb to feather lightly caress my cheek and I shiver my eyes shifting close.
"I have feelings for you too Emma. Not at all friendly feelings," he murmurs, and my breath hitches. "Not for quite some time either," his voice almost shaky.
"No?" I say just as unsteadily.
"No." He responds stronger. I break open my eyes taking in how close we are to each other. He moves even closer causing me to reflexively step back. My spine bumps the wall and Bash bends forward hovering in front of me. I lick my lips completely overcome at the near closeness of our breaths.
"Please forget everything stupid I did in the past 24 hours," he says gazing at me intensely.
"Okay." My pulse is pounding in my ears. The air stirring around us feels almost hot to touch and as our breaths mingle my eyes automatically snag to his inviting lips. I try to flick my attention away before he notices, but it was as if he was waiting for that. Within breakneck speed, Bash collides his mouth with mine.
I gasp at the sudden press of his lips. His hands draw to my cradle my face and I tentatively grab his jacket as his mouth moves in rhythm with me, slowly and tenderly. I press deeper into him drowning by the sensation of him, this kiss.
His tongue sensually traces my lips parting them to explore and our movements grow more hungry. A flame uncurls to every cell of my body at every stroke and taste and through that, my hands fly to his neck playing with the ends of his silky hair. He groans edging me tighter into the wall, his hands curving down me delicately gripping my waist beneath the thin sheath of my dress. I whimper into his mouth as he tugs my hips closer to him, completely losing all function of my brain as my body hums with euphoria and need.
My legs turn wobbly and my poor heart keeps hammering faster against my ribcage. I don't know how I am even standing so I begrudgingly break first to catch my breath. Bash doesn't move away his intake of breath is just as heavy. He gently splays his hand above me, caging me, as his other thumb falls to my bottom lip rubbing it transfixed.
"So this is happening. You actually for some crazy reason like me?" He asks. I have to jumpstart my mind again. After that kiss, I would think it was blatantly obvious, but I still answer.
"Yeah, I do Bash," I rasp.
An arresting smile flashes across his face. "This is-This is fucking crazy Emma," he utters. He softly grabs my hand intertwining our fingers. I instantly melt as his tenderness and he flips our hands around staring at them mesmerized.
"This seems too good to be true. I don't think I believe it," he repeats.
I reach for his other arm and pinch it hard for both him and myself. Actually, probably a little harder than I intended as his forearm flushes a deep red. He doesn't pull his hand away but looks down at me with alarm.
"Yeah this is happening," I answer back dizzily with a cheeky smile. His own goofy grin spreads across his features making my heart skip a beat. This is unreal. We are a complete mess and I have no idea what is going on, but it better not stop.
"Well then." Bash clears his throat looking down at our connected hands again grinning softly. "I think this is means for a celebration."
"What kind of celebration?" I mutter unable to tear my eyes away from him smiling.
His smile turns troublesome as he glances back down into my eyes.
"A well-deserved date."
***
*author's note*
AHHHH!! Lmaoo. This was definitely my most intimidating chapter to write and I somehow did it during the stress of my midterm week (bad planning on my part). My brain is fried lol.
What do you think a date with Sebastien will be like??
Thank you for reading 💗 I got so many new & familiar readers voting and reading the last chapter and wow thank you so much 🥰🥰 I was smiling as stupidly as Bash & Emma when I saw it ;) Keep voting & commenting please!!