Since yesterday, since we spent the evening together, I haven't been able to stop thinking about her. To be honest, I actually haven't been able to stop thinking about her since I first laid my eyes on her. I try to stop so I can do my work and find information on other people, but I don't want to. I don't want to get information on boring, random people. I want to know everything about her - everything.
The days went by so slowly. Seconds felt like minutes, minutes like hours and hours like days... It took all the willpower I had, just to not go and follow her. I once said something along the lines of, 'stalkers don't realise that they're staling, they think they're actually protecting'. That thought helped me stay away. As did the thought that if I were able to hold off on seeing her, I'd eventually be able to spend the entire day with her.
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I couldn't sleep at all the night before our date, but that didn't affect me in the slightest. I had the driver pull up around the corner - I thought it would be best to not alert her neighbours that she would be driving in a limo this morning. I walked up to the door and knocked with probably too much enthusiasm but I doubt she noticed.
The door opened and as soon as she saw me, her face went from having a nervous expression to one of pure happiness. After seeing that reaction, how could I not step in and hug her? At first her body went stiff, evidently surprised by my sudden closeness, but after a moment it relaxed and she returned the hug. Her skin was soft and she smelled incredible. I didn't want to let go, I wanted to stay in this moment forever... What happened to me? When did I become so obsessed and attached to this human?
The sound of a man's voice interrupted my thoughts and brought me back to the real world. I spun us around so I was facing the direction of the voice, and without removing one of my arms, I unfolded the knife in my pocket and pointed it forward. The man yelped and dropped the letters he was holding, apologising as he slowly backed away until he was out of site. At some point during the whole ordeal, [Y/N] let go and turned around to see the commotion.
She just laughed and said, "Maybe I shouldn't have disregarded the 'paranoid' explanation so quickly."
If that was how she wanted to play it, then so be it. "You look beautiful today," I said with a smirk, knowing she wouldn't be able to handle the compliment, but I did truly mean it, "are you ready to go?"
Her cheeks flushed red, causing her to look away. She murmured "Yeah I'm ready, let me just go get your coat." She disappeared into the house for only a few moments before she reappeared with my jacket in tow and handed it back to me.
"Did it help keep you warm?" I asked, leading the way towards the car.
"Yes it did thank you, you really didn't have to lend it to me you know."
"I wanted to, plus it gave me an excuse to see you again." I stopped in front of the limo and opened the door for her.
"Wait what?" she said, shocked by the large vehicle "You hired a limo?"
I jeered, "Well, I didn't think I should steal one. We only need it for the first half of the date anyway so, after you." She smirked at the first comment and got in the car, myself following after.
It started moving and she asked, "Where are we going?"
"You'll have to wait and see for yourself when we get there," she jokingly frowned at me so I added, "It's a 10 minute drive - be patient small human."
"Small? I'll have you know that I'm actually average height." she complained; which was exactly the response I was expecting. I spent almost the entire car journey teasing her in the same way because I just loved the way she reacted to it.
We got out of the car and I led the way to the one of the shops on the street. "Before you ask: yes we are going shopping, yes this is the only shop we're going to and don't worry, the next stop will be a better one."
All she said was, "Hmm alright." keeping her thoughts to herself - torturing me in the process.
"What are you thinking?" I asked. I usually try to figure it out by observing body language but for some reason I couldn't read hers.
"Why so curious?" she chimed, obviously trying to play with me.
Before I could answer one of the tailors in the shop walked up to us and asked what it was we were looking for.
"Nothing for me, but this young lady needs a new coat - preferably long and either black or grey." [Y/N] was probably going to argue, saying that this shop it too expensive etc, so I interrupted her before she could "while you sort that out, where can I go to sort out the payment?" The tailor directed me to the cashier and began asking [Y/N] questions about her preference in style. I waited for roughly thirty minutes before she came back out in her new coat. It fit her perfectly.
"You did an excellent job, thank you." I expressed. We left the shop and got back in the car, on our way to the next location.
"I would have bought one eventually, you know" I couldn't describe her behaviour as anything other than bashful - I found it incredibly charming "but thank you, I really appreciate it."
I couldn't stop myself from smiling at her, "You are more than welcome. It really suits you."
It was fifteen minute journey this time. As soon as we walked up to the building she laughed, "Is this why you got me a coat?"
"It's certainly one of the reasons. Have you been ice-skating before?"
"I've been a few time when I was younger but not nearly enough to keep myself upright the entire time." She laughed at herself, likely because she saw glimpses of her past experiences.
"Then this is going to be more fun than I'd originally planned." We walked in, changed our shoes for skates and walked to the rink. I went first so I could help her onto the ice.
I held out my hand and she was hesitated, "I won't let you fall. You can trust me." It wasn't until I'd said the words out loud, that I realised just how much I wanted her to trust me. As if she knew exactly how I was feeling, she took my hand and stepped onto the ice. She wobbled a little but to keep my word I steadied her and didn't let her topple over.
"Aren't ice-rinks usually jam packed with people? Where's everyone else?"
"The owner owed me a favour, so he closed it for a couple hours - allowing us to be able to skate in peace. If you don't like the music playing in the background, I can have that changed as well." I explained, "but stop trying to stall, you'll be fine"
"Damn, you saw through my plan" she said with a smirk.
"Come on scaredy-cat." I then proceeded to teach her how to skate. Truth be told, she was doing pretty well - a fast learner it seems. Every second that we were on the ice together, I could feel her trust in me increasing, which in turn excited me. I admit that I've spent most of my adulthood trying to get others to trust me just so that I could use that trust against them, to harm them and to watch them get crushed by whatever forces available to me. But with her, I felt completely different. I felt compelled to get her trust and to keep it. I never want her to stop trusting me. I know these feelings are absurd, I just can't stop them.
We had finished the two hours I had booked for the rink and were walking out of the building when she said something that completely took me aback.
She said, "I know you've lived a much more complicated life than I have, one that probably overlaps with criminals, but I can tell that you have good in you - today's proven that. Even if this was some kind of elaborate trick to get information on me, I wouldn't care. I had so much fun ice skating with you-" I put my finger to her lips, indicating for her to stop talking.
"The days not over yet, there's still one last main place to go." She tilted her head slightly so she could ask 'where' without actually speaking, "You'll have to be patient and wait." I lowered my hand and she just rolled her eyes in mock exasperation.
The final main location was in walking distance - only five minutes away from where we were and a fifteen minute walk back to her house. It wasn't long until we were able to see the neon lights striking the darkness of the sky. As we approached the fairground I grabbed her hand and told her "Make sure you don't let go, I wouldn't want to lose you in the crowd."
She wasn't as shy as she was the first time we held hands on the ice-rink, she even managed to make a joke about it this time: "Ohhh I see now. This is why you wanted to go ice-skating and to a crowded area."
"You caught me," I chuckled, leading us towards the entrance "which ride would you like to go on first?"
After a few thrill rides filled with strangers screams and [Y/N] clinging on to me (which I didn't mind at all), we walked past one of those dart stalls where you can win stuffed animals by popping the balloons tied to the board. Although, barely anyone actually wins at them since they're designed to take desperate customers money. Only those who are lucky or know how they work are able to beat them, and I am the latter.
She noticed that I was looking towards the game, "You know those are fixed right?"
I grinned, "Not for me." I gave the stall owner the money for only one game and he handed me the three darts. Without missing a beat, I threw the darts and all three balloons popped. Both the stall owner and [Y/N] were shocked, but she was also impressed - which was partially my intention.
Before the stall owner could say anything I pointed to the large stuffed panda hanging from the booth and told him that I wanted that one.
"I know it's sort of cliché, but here." I handed her the panda which seemed to be half her size.
"You won it for me?"
"Of course. Would you rather have a different one?" I asked.
"No he's adorable, and huge!" She laughed. I took one of her hands back so I could hold it again. "I love him, thank you."
"Him? Does he have a name?"
She pondered the question for a moment before replying, "Hmmm, I shall name him King Richard."
That answer was so random and so bizarre, that I couldn't stop myself from laughing "What possessed you to choose that one?"
"Well just look at him! He is clearly a King, and King Richard the Lionheart was supposed to be the most chivalrous and heroic of them all. Don't you like the name?" Her answer was so amusing that it made me want to know everything about her even more - something I didn't think was possible.
"No, I think that name is perfect. Do you mind if we go somewhere quieter for the remainder of our date?"
"Sure, that's a good idea actually. Did you have anywhere in mind?" I'm relieved she agreed, I was starting to get worried that she wanted the evening to end.
"Actually I do." We left the fairground and only walked a few blocks before we arrived at the place I wanted to show her. It was a moderately tall building with an open roof that was rarely used, so I found it the perfect place to observe people from.
Once at the top of the building, I went straight to the ledge like I've done many time before and [Y/N] sat the panda down by the roof door. However, unlike all the times before, I didn't look out towards the sea of wondering people in the streets below, I was focused on [Y/N] instead. She walked towards me with a nervous smile on her face. After the time we'd spent together today I knew she wasn't nervous about being close to me so she must have been nervous about being this close to the ledge.
I mirrored my words from before, to show her that I meant them like I had previously "I won't let you fall. You can trust me." Also like before, I held my hand out in an effort to comfort her further.
She took it and smiled at me, "I trust you." After hearing her say those words, something inside of me took over and I couldn't stop myself from grabbing her waist with one hand, and lifting her chin with the other so that our lips could meet. Much like when I hugged her at the beginning of the date, her body was rigid at first but after a few moments she relaxed a little.
I moved my head back but left my hands where they were so that I could look into her eyes to try to get a sense of what she was feeling. Her face was flushed and she tried to look away, probably to try to hide it but I wouldn't let her. She might think it's embarrassing, but I thought it was incredibly endearing. "I hope you didn't mind but I've been wanting to do that all day."
She spoke quietly, evidently still in shock "N-no I didn't mind at all, it was really nice."
"You're so beautiful," I used the hand that was holding her chin to brush a bit of hair behind her ear, "Would you allow me to take you out on another date? Preferably soon."
"Yes, I'd really like that." To back up that statement she smiled warmly, but then it turned more playful. "It's my turn to pay for it though, regardless of the cost."
That made me chuckled, "Alright, alright I'll let you pay for some of it."
She emphasised, "Most of it."
"Half of it - that's my best offer."
She looked more closely at my features to see if I could be persuaded to change my mind but she must have seen that I couldn't so she sighed, "Okay fine, half it is. Can I choose what we do?"
I would have said yes but, "I've planned for this date as well, my apologies. You can plan the third one though if you'd like."
"Oh, we're having a third date as well now, are we?" She teased.
I shrugged, "I'm afraid it's unavoidable. After today, there is no doubt that I'll want to keep seeing you so if I get it my way, there will be a fourth date as well." Regrettably, I let her go and took a step back. It was getting late and I knew she had work in the morning. I wanted to be selfish and stay with her for longer, but I didn't want her to be exhausted because of me. Damn, why did my morality have to kick in now?
"Why do you look so sad?" She asked, unconsciously reaching out to me as I let go.
I took her hand in mine to prevent it from lingering in the space between us, "It's almost 11pm so I should take you home. I don't want you hating me tomorrow because I kept you up."
"Wow, I didn't realise it was so late. I wouldn't hate you though, maybe just slightly dislike you instead." She laughed, amused by her own joke.
"Even so, I don't want anything less than a liking from you." I didn't plan on saying that, in fact I probably sounded a little bit too serious when I did so I tried covering it up by joking around as well, "And don't forget King Richard, he'll get lonely if you leave him here."
She picked up the panda and we began our walk back to her house. In the midst of our many conversations, we decided on seeing each other this Friday - which was later than I wanted, but it would have to do as she's working every other day. I didn't want the walk to end, but alas, all good things must come to an end. I'm just glad she agreed to see me again because this way I didn't have to stalk her. I was afraid that if she wanted to cut contact after tonight, I'd have to become one (a stalker). My job might come close to it every now and again, but I haven't yet crossed that boundary.
We arrived at her door and she spun around, presumably to say goodbye, but she didn't say anything.
I inquired, "Is everything okay?"
"I..." She paused for a moment but changed what she was going to say, "Today really was amazing, thank you. I'm looking forward to our next date."
"So am I. Make sure you're ready at 9am, I'll be here on the dot." I let go of her hand and began to walk away but I wanted to see her one last time before Friday so I turned back, "Don't let yourself get in any trouble, I won't be able to save you next time." I winked at her and continued to walk away. I don't know why but when I left, I felt a sense of longing and there was an annoying pain in my chest.
I sighed and spoke to no one, "I really hope this week goes by quickly." I've got a lot of work to do this week which will keep me busy, so I wasn't lying when I told her not to get into trouble as there would be no way for me to keep an eye on her, to make sure she's safe. That fact made me anxious. I sighed again, all of these emotions are becoming troublesome but there's no way in hell that I'm going to stop seeing her.