Omg look at them😍
——-
And if anyone did not notice, I had a little change in her name, Lee is gonna remain but her really name is April. Lee is her nickname but people will use it like it's her second name just because it's funny to add another name when their mad at her and scolding her. April Lee Hunter.
——-
"Thought you forgot about me"
Her eyes fall down the floor as her cheeks turn pink. Harry shakes his head with a weird smile on his face, looking at her even though she's looking down at the white tiles of the floor."no, of course not, how could I forget you, you were my first crush" she giggles and I look at him with an unsure look. His voice is a mix between a surprised one and a gentle one.
The only way you could explain my look right now is by saying WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK and think you're having the same situation. like what are the odds that his nurse is his first childhood crush.
"You look much different, I remember glasses and long blond hair"
looking at her, yeah.. no. She has no blond hair and it's short. no glasses on, but, imagining it, it looks good but also a little bit nerdy, nothing bad about it, i think she's perfect and nerdy sits good on her.
She's perfect. And I'm jelly. Anyways..
"Yeah I got bored of the long blond and did.. this.. and I hated the glasses and you know it, I'm with eye contacts now" Harry nods at her words and this smugly smile on his face begins to annoy me.
"Well you look beautiful as always" Harry says and she blushes once again, her face turning even more red. I get up from my seat with a smile. "I think I'm gonna get some coffee, anyone wants something?" They both shake their heads and with an awkward flat line covering my lips I step out of the room.
Closing the door I opened my eyes widely and asked myself what the hell was that, that I witnessed and began walking towards somewhere. I actually can't get any coffee because I have a lot of stress in my body so If I do my jaw literally gets stuck until I relax again. So no coffee for a month as much as it's hard for me.
Im a coffee addict. I love strong coffee with milk, no sugar and I will prefer foam if it's sweet but some places it's not, it tastes bitter and I hate it. But if it's sweet I will love it. I wish I could drink coffee right now.
Dammit.
After patrolling the hospital for a good ten minutes I look forward, seeing that nobody's down the halls and understand that I actually have nothing better to do than just accept my horrible fate and to sit with the both of them. Returning back towards the room I looked at the door thinking twice before deciding to enter it after a long battle with myself, but, right when I was about to give up and enter the room, Jennifer got out of the room with a blush on her face and a wide smile. I swear to god he's gonna get this girl. YES HARRY GO GET HER! *eye roll*. I decided to smile at her kindly even though it was a very hypocritical thing to do and she kept her smile on.
I can be very hypocritical, I mean, people think that sometimes but it's truly not that hypocritical being. I'll explain.
Being hypocritical means a few things but the main thing that people know is acting differently than what you believe in. There for, if I believe a person is not nice, not kind, not a person for me to hang around with smiles at me kindly, I'm not supposed to act like I like him and talk to him like he's one of my friends but just smiling cause it's the nice thing to do and keep going.
I'm not doing it.
I believe that a smile and small talk is a thing you can even have with your worst enemy. I believe that talking is what made you think of someone something from the first placs. If I don't like someone, I shouldnt tell him i like him but I beleive that i can and very much feel free to talk to them, even if I don't like them, as long as I don't lie and tell them I like them cause that basically means I have reasons to act like that and use them, for example, talk with someone just for them to send me homework and keep in close touch with them
Just to use them. I believe as long as I don't lie, and we both know where we're standing at in any kind of relationship it's all ok. Small talk is ok.
So if I smile at someone I don't like it's mostly because I don't see a reason why not to, and because I'm not that type of a person who makes faces when people I don't like talk to me. I don't find it very hypocritical.
I look at the door and get my hand on the handle, twitching it downwards.
I entered the room with an eye roll and sat on the chair there silently— not looking at Harry. I looked at my hands for a couple of seconds until he spoke up.
"I asked her out"
I looked up at him and raised my eyebrows, not sure what I have to do with that piece of information and saw that his face wasn't as happy as they were before.
"Ok"
He smiles very slightly at my unbothered answer and looks up at the ceiling.
"You don't care much of it, do you?"
I lean backwards, deeper into the chair and my hands are resting on my stomach while I pull my shoulders up, not really caring. "Not really, no" his face are happy as they were before I left the room again and his smile on his face makes it hard to reflect as a mirror, so I smile back. "I heard what the guys talked about before you and Luke entered, I was asleep but not that deep"
I get confused about why would he say that but I do remember entering the room and the guys were laughing, "And?" why would he care for a couple of jokes?
"They were talking about you and Michael"
My body tensed and my back straighten up. What were they saying of me and Michael?
"And what was that, that they were talking about?"
Harry's smile changes a bit, he's no longer smiling but it isn't because of the conversation, just because how much can a person smile?
"They were talking about you kissing, Michael said he missed you and he was suprised that the first thing you did was kissing him but he was relieved you feel the same" I smile at his words and relieved that it wasn't only Luke that were saying it, but Harry too. "It's kinda rude to eavesdropping you know?" I giggle and he chuckles. "I basically had no choice but to hear it and I want you to put a little faith in me so it means telling you when people are talking about you, no? And I thought it might help you, I know it would help me knowing when a girl feels the same as I do if by not thinking a lot I would run and kiss her, then have no time to talk about it with her and have no idea what's going on inside her head... so.." The corner of my lips raised a bit and I began thinking of what he said, of course he's telling me he'd want me to trust him and not to actualize what I said about me taking my steps away from him and no longer talking to him but still, I don't know much of him and I can't put MY trust in him, I can't risk it.
"Listen, Harry, I see what you're trying to do but it won't work, you still don't trust me and I don't know you and I've been hurt so many times before that I just can't let you in my life right now when I still don't know a single thing about you that builds your character for me in my mind"
I look at his eyes that now have turned hopeless and I feel a little bit of guilt but I push it aside. Once in a while I am allowed to be egoistic and think of myself and look at my own good and not others. Now, these days made it all confusing. Now that the boys are here it's all different. The feelings I had for them before they left always remained cause they weren't here at my worst time so there is no bad memory towards them and it's mixing up with my mind cause I don't know how to feel in general and I'm scared to feel again. Let people in and hurt myself again. Losing and destroying all the walls I've built through the worst parts of my life. I don't know what to think anymore.
"Like you're having troubles at trusting me, there are still things that just like you I'm having troubles at talking at that easily with a person that I don't know that much. You're interested in why I'm at the hospital and why nobody's saying anything so here I am telling you, I don't wanna talk about it. I will in the future, if you would just fucking let me but you aren't giving me any chance! You just think of how much I can hurt you so you push me but it's not why I'm here for, I just wanna listen to what you have to say, I wanna hear you when you need it, be here just in case that the boys are on tour again and you have nobody left except for your brother that I know that he mostly with Cory and not with you. I can't trust you and tell you everything about myself just because I want you to stay. I can tell you little things, a little by little and that's what I expect from you too. Baby steps. It's alright, o don't expect you to just tell me everything all at once."
I hear him out and try to protest but he wouldn't let me.
"But-"
"No buts. Why do you think the boys were so happy seeing me, do you think we don't usually talk? Do you think they don't trust me? Your best friends trust me and actually, I did a lot things for them so I think that the least you can do is not just push me away and give me some time to show you that I'm not here to hurt you like your father did!"
My eyes shoot up and my whole damn body tensed up.
"What did you just say?"
Harry tensed as he recalled what he said in his mind. He knows about my father. How the hell does he knows. Who told him that??
"After you left.. that girl who annoyed you when you left said something about 'she's not the same since your dad left, I think he hit her or something, she must be that much of a freak' and I got angry at what she said and basically, if she wasn't a woman I would hit her like there's no tomorrow"
I look at his eyes changed into a weird expression, one
I've never seen before. He seemed mad, furious, like all he sees is red in his eyes. "What did you do?" It interested me cause after all, he was late to class, he didn't show up right after me so..
"I just told her what she needed to hear"
"And that was?" I pushed him into telling me that cause it seemed like he wasn't about to say it from his own will. "I just asked her how she can be so crule at you when she thinks a thing like that. How can she keep giving you a miserable time when she thinks that someone's already does that at home and physically abusing you. She might not know if it's true that he hit you, neither do I but how much of a stupid bitch you can be to be like that, it's just- too much."
She is a bitch. She's basically Regina George of our school just even worse. She wasn't even that pretty, even I looked better. The thing about her is that everybody's fears of her and the fear finds himself attractive somehow at the boys section.
"Well he did hit me" is all I said coldly before the door got open with the laughs of my favorite boys. I can't even start to explain how much I love their laughs and how happy it can make me feel. The sound of it consumes my body with an amazing feeling that I missed so much, hope. They both enter with a certain type of humming that recognize right away. The song Baby by Justin Bieber.
"🎶You know you love me, I know you care
Just shout whenever and I'll be there
You want my love, you want my heart
And we will never, ever, ever be apart
Are we an item? Girl, quit playing
We're just friends, what are you saying?
Said "There's another," and looked right in my eyes
My first love broke my heart for the first time, and I was like...🎶"
I roll my eyes when Luke comes closer to me and start moving his head from the right to the left with the rythem while Michael's does the fast part with his hands on my head drumming on it. When Michael finishes the fast part Luke's joining him to sing
"🎶 Baby, baby, baby, oh
Like baby, baby, baby, no
Like baby, baby, baby, oh
Thought you'd always be mine, mine 🎶"
And I laugh so hard right now and I look at Harry to see him deep in his thoughts and I think of what he can think of.
"April Lee Hunter" Luke takes my hands and gets me up only to turn me fast around to Michael and Michael catches me when I lose my balance with a smile on both of our faces. "Will you be my girlfriend again? Make what we had to what we have? Cause shit I missed us" he chuckled and I giggled. "I missed my favorite ship!" Luke yell-whisper's and we both laugh "isn't your favorite ship is Muke?" I tease and look at him and he rolls his eyes. "Yes.... but! Michael doesn't love me as much as he loves you so.. I'm heart broken but I'll live" the three of us laugh as Harry is silent as a mouse. "So..." Michael focuses me on answering him and I smile at him widely when I see the worried face he wears "yes daddy I will!" I say but not in a mischievous and attractive way but in a laughing way and childishly and we all laugh now cause I think Harry got out of his trance. I jump at Michael and kiss him gently right after I look him deeply in his eyes.
After again I've been a kissing koala I get off his and when my feet hit the floor the flew up once again by someone. "Luke Robert Hemmings! Put me down!" I scream-laugh at him and he chuckles "can't- I'm too happy!!!" We all laugh while Harry chuckled slightly. I look at Harry with a wide smile and he smiles at me slightly. "I am going to give you a chance" I find this moment a happy moment we should all smile at.. so.. I'm kind enough to make the man in the hospital bed happy. And I did. He thought about what I said for a couple of moments but when he understood what I meant, he smiles just like each one of us smiled.
Happy and wide.
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Lmao the yes daddy is will sounded like what Harry said on stage once :)
Andddd... Sorry this part is kinda short I just had nothing much to add here since it's impossible for me to write these days. I'm locked at my room not getting out even for a moment cause I'm protesting my mum cause she hurt my dad badly and I'm angry at the both of them to make me feel guilty and not letting me be while they are fighting whatever while divorcing. All I asked for is silence and even that she can give me.
Love y'all, Merry Christmas and happy holidays :)