broken | DreamwastakenxReader

Prologue

I'm going to try my best to make this somewhat good -Kim

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~Y/n pov~

Since I was in college, I always studied. I always grew up hearing my parents telling me to do well in school and that's my purpose. So naturally, I did, I will admit I am extremely smart. I'm in my last year of college and I was 20, studying computer science. I was always amazed by technology and coding. Coding was my favorite thing to do, when I wasn't studying I was coding. Growing up was different for me. My parents weren't the best, not only was I the oldest in my family but I also was the most responsible. When my parents were too busy drinking and hanging out with their friends, I was back at home watching my younger brother. We were 5 years apart exactly. I was 12 years old watching over a 7-year-old, I taught him the difference between right and wrong. Also at the same time, I was studying for school.

My head was always in a book, it kept me distracted from my parent's fights. Who were too toxic for each other but refused to separate. Although many times they have said they were. I was two years ahead of my grade. Meaning at 12 I was already in 9th grade. I was always the youngest very year. Not only I grew up not having friends but I was also bullied. I got anxiety and depression due to my parent's horrible parenting. My brother was following in my footsteps. I was extremely proud of him for doing so well. My parents of course naive and taking credit. When I was younger I taught my brother math and how to read, I fed him and clean him. When my parents came home drunk, I took care of them too. Often forgetting to take care of myself. 

I heard the faint ringing of my alarm clock, it was 7 am. My eyes having trouble to open, the light was shining directly on my face, forcing me to get up. I got up and I already felt defeated, my body tired telling me to lay down. to stay in bed but I knew I had to get moving or I will be late. I got off of my bed and walked over to my closet. Grabbing my towel and headed to the bathroom to wash my face, I looked in the mirror and saw my greasy hair and how dirty it looked. I couldn't walk into school looking like that. I walked over to the shower and turned it on. I got in and showered, washed my body and face. It was already 7:30. It took around 6 minutes to go to my class. I had to change and eat breakfast. I quickly hopped out and grabbed my hairdryer. I positioned in a way where it could stand. I put it on high and dried my hair at the same time I was changing into some clothes. 

I found a simple collared sweatshirt. It was gray and I got some cargo pants. And still drying my hair I put on my Nike shoes. 7:48 am. My hair was semi-dry but it wasn't damp either. I grabbed my bag and ran out of my apartment. I was looking for a roommate since I had an extra room and I knew sooner or later I wasn't going to be able to afford an extra room. This was the only apartment close enough to the school even if it had extra room. I thought finding a roommate was going to be easy guess I was wrong. I got in my car and started to drive to my school, luckily there was no traffic today. On the ride there all I could think was how awful I looked earlier, god I'm such a pig no wondering you're worthless. I made it to the school and found a parking space. 7:55. I got out and sped walk to class, I had two minutes to spare and I found a seat at the back of my class. I was on my phone when I saw one of my favorite streamers went live. I always dreamed of streaming, I was actually saving up for my computer. His name was swaggersouls, I loved how his humor was extremely dark, it reminds me of mine. I was a bit upset since he was streaming right when I was going to start class. I put my phone away and took out my notebook and pencil. Class started and I got lost in my thoughts again. 

TW/// SUICIDAL THOUGHTS 

I was thinking about killing myself again, thinking about how much easier everything would be for me. I didn't have to stress about my fuck up family. They never appreciated me anyway. My life wasn't worth to be lived. My boyfriend came up again, well ex now. I thought I found a man with who I would spend the rest of my life with but I was wrong. Almost 4 years into our relationship when I found out that he was cheating the entire time. He told me I wasn't worth his time, that I was too stuck up and too depressed for him. He said that if I want to kill myself that I should since he didn't want me. He called me a whore and walked away from me, dropped me like if I was a hot pan burning his hand. Ever since I thought about suicide, even more, my brother was who turned to since I didn't have friends. I got panic attacks and thought about killing myself every time I wasn't distracted. I needed help but I was so stubborn so I didn't. God, I should do it already. what a big pussy I am. 

p.s: if you have depression and such, just know that people do care and love you <3 here's a suicide hotline number just in case. love ya :)       [800-273-8255]