Young Love In ATL

Sample

July 2008
Mooresville, Atlanta

Desire "Des" Felix

Being a teenager out here in the world trying to make it is tough. You tend to have to grow up early. This is exactly what I had to do. I had to grow up early. I realized that the daily arguments I would hear from my parents as they both spoke harshly to each other were due to the fact that they were falling out of love with each other. I became tough at a young age. Don't sleep on my quietness and the fact that I am kind of shy. I will speak my mind and tell you how I feel regardless of who you are. I know how to handle myself even though I am only a kid who is trying to seek her life accordingly. I can cook, clean, and take care of myself. Shit I had to take care of myself ALL ALONE as I was an only child of the house. Hating to put a front, I knew deep down that my parents were one step away from getting a divorce and that would mean that we would have to spend time with them separately.

I had to pretend like everything was okay when deep down I knew it wasn't. At sixteen years old I had to prepare for what my life would be future wise and to see my parents always arguing, fighting and more hurt. To know that the man I look up to hurts my mother made my heart break into pieces more and more each day. I never questioned my mother when she would send me to my aunt house for the week while my aunt Pamela looks after me. I would go to school from my aunt house during that entire until my mother decides to come get me. I have no idea the reasons why she would often send me to my aunt's house and was very confused about it. I knew not to open my mouth and question my mother's decisions.

I knew a lot that she didn't think I knew which is why when I got to school, I was not impressed with receiving flowers and chocolates near my locker at school. Grabbing the flowers and smelling them, rolling my eyes I sighed. Grabbing my books, I needed for my next class, I knew that this half hour was lunch time and I was gone meet up with my friends outside. I always skip eating school food because we would drive to Sheetz down the street and get food. Meeting up with Ebony and Nylon, I took a seat outside as I started conversing with them chit chatting before we leave.

It was daily that I would receive things at my locker by some random ass person. Judging by the note they left I knew this person had to be crazy to think this was cute. Far from cute, in fact it was creepy to me. They never left their name on the cards they would leave at my locker and I was going to trip off this. Reading this card, I felt some type of way. I had almost an idea of who this was even though I was not sure. I knew it had to my classmate Nomiah who lived in the same building as me. Some days he would see me strolling home from school and would try to talk to me while walking me home. I think even my best friends Ebony and Nylon both knew who it was because they would mention something about him. I felt like Nomiah probably was the one checking for me and if so, the way he was going about it was a turn off.

Although I did love him since we have been living in the same building since, I was eight, I knew it had to be him. We've had plenty of conversations and I know he likes me and checking for me. I did not want anybody else knowing that I was in love with him. To me if anybody knew that I would die. After a while I had stopped talking to him... but I guess he didn't want to lose me, so he did everything he could to get my attention. The way I felt about how he going about was things turned me off and I could not be more creeped out than I am now. I have countless notes, gifts and more from him lying around in my bedroom.

Hell, I even wore the earrings, necklace and bracelet he got me at diff times. Don't get me wrong I like the attention, but something wasn't sitting right with me which explains why I would catch Nomiah all in some chicks' face and whole time he would look my way and wink or smirk as if I was pressed. Sitting outside with my friends during lunch break at school conversing, I caught Nomiah sitting with his friends while he kept staring my way with this sneer look and winking.