I thought I could love

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For so long I believed I could love someone romantically. I still do. It's just a sad hope. I know I can't. But still it hurts. And I can't bring myself to believe it. I want to love. But I don't know how. I don't. Want to be loveless but then again what's so bad about it? Never having to care for someone like that, never giving a care in whether someone is going my back. But what about the physical affection? Like the cuddles or the light kisses that would flutter between each other. What about being able to gaze into my lovers eyes and think that the stars are in their. What about being held when I wanna cry or holding them when they are crying. But I guess I just won't have that person no matter how hard I try. I can't force myself to love.
Sincerely,
A boy who can't love

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