Thicker than water

“I don’t have to go you know. I can not see him for the rest of my life and it won’t be long enough.”

“Stop taking about your Brother like that!”

She snaps. Even my therapist agrees that she’s taken this too far. She’s fed herself so many lies and excuses that she truly believes he wasn’t in the wrong.  She makes me feel like the bad person.You know when you're a kid, and the adults drill into your head- don't relatliate, tell an adult so you don't put yourself in the wrong- it's so twisted. I did just that, I told on him, I didn't retaliate, but now my Mum's trying to make ME feel guilty about it? It'a messed up.

 “He’s not my Brother. He’s a monster who should be locked up in prison if it wasn’t for….”

I stop. Tears shimmer in her eyes as she grabs her house keys and leaves with a almost undetectable

“Blood runs thicker than water”

Once I’ve heard the door slam, I break down in angry tears and cry myself to sleep.

---------------------------------------

“Cassie”

I mumble and incoherent stream of nothing, clearly meaning go away.

“Cassie. Honey, please wake up. I’m really, really sorry”

I sit up groggily and almost double take when I see my mother and father standing next to my bed. It’s still light outside which means she didn’t even get to the center. She skipped seeing him to be with me. I almost feel happy for the first time since… the incident.

“I’m really sorry sweetie. I know I’ve been pressuring you into this-“

My Dad cuts her off to say,

“We all have. We’re sorry, and for once we’re going to do the right thing and…”

They share a look, I hold my breath waiting for the bad news I know they’re about to deliver. I expected a lot, but nothing as bad as their next few words.

“We didn’t just skip today’s visit for you. We called ahead and they said that there was no need to visit. Your brother’s being released in four weeks time.”

I freeze and my blood runs cold. My heart begin’s to beat at one hundred mile per hour, and my palms go sweaty. I know this is a panic attack, I’ve had too many to count, but I’m not prepared this time.

“He’s coming home.”

Chokes out my Mum, and through my blurring vision I can hear the shake in her voice, and the tears she’s about to cry.

I throw back my duvet, staggering to my feet, dazed and dizzy.

“I… I can’t… I just… I”

I move over to the bin that’s been in my bedroom since I was three years old, and chuck up the miniscule amount of food I’ve consumed in the past 24 hours.

I can hear my Mum sobbing from behind her now, and feel the guilt wash over me like the nausea. I retch again, until my stomach’s empty. I turn to my broken family. My mother sobbing into my fathers chest as he blinks at the ceiling, staying strong. Me, two stone lighter than I was a year ago, a bag of bones, all life gone, trembling by the side of my bin.

“Sweetie. We know this will be hard for you. So we’ve come up with an idea. We spoke to your teachers, and your therapist, and they all agree. You need a change of scenery. We want to move you to another school…”

They share another look

“A private boarding school in Scotland…”

I open my mouth wide, unable to move for the second time in a ten minute window. a boarding school? Leave home? I’m about to vehemently refuse, but then I see an image inside of my head.

A tall, pale boy with Bronze hair and a charming grin wearing grey sweatpants and an old striped long sleeve body hugging top, striding through the front door with his duffle bag for the first time in over a year. I see him hugging my parents, and then looking at me, and my eye sight is obscured with black spots. I black out, hearing my mothers frantic

“Cassie, breath!”

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So... I'm really on a roll today, a chapter of IDB and a new idea? I'm on fire.

So, I don't know if this is something I should carry on with? If you think so then please comment telling me what you think :) I'm thinking of a number between 9 and 11? Can we get there?

Have a great weekend!!!