Chasing Ciara (BLACK SLAYERS Vol. 2) (COMPLETE)

4. How does it feel to be back?

     Just seeing her face looking at David, I saw that look before. 

     Those times that she still loves me.  But now, that look is for someone else already

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Ciara's POV

     Para akong sinasakal.  I don't want to look back.  Damn you, David.  Bakit hindi mo sinabi sa akin na ang lecheng banda na iyon ang pakay mo dito sa Pilipinas?  I am okay already.  I moved on.  I already buried the past memories with those band.  I already forgot that face.

     Shit.  Two years.  Two years of trying to forget that asshole.  I told myself I can face him already when we meet again.  Pero hindi pa rin pala.  Hindi ko pa rin kaya.  His effect on me is still the same.  My knees turned into jelly, I felt I was gasping for air just looking at his face.  Damn you, Kyle!  Hanggang ngayon ganyan ka pa rin!

     I stayed far away from those people that will help me remember Kyle.  Even Maddie, I cut all my communications with them.  I travelled everywhere para makalimutan ko lang siya.  Forgetting him is not easy.  Alam ng lahat kung gaano ko minahal si Kyle.  I gave him everything.  Pero may hangganan pala iyon.  When I left, I told myself I will never come back.  I will forget everything.  Until I met David.

     David helped me cope up with everything.  He is nice, he is an awesome man.  He didn't ask about my past.  He accepted me for who I am.  He is perfect kaya when he proposed three months ago, I immediately said yes. 

     Matagal na niyang inuungot sa akin na magbakasyon dito sa Pilipinas.  I travelled with him tuwing may concert production siya. Different countries, different artists.  He keeps on telling me that he really liked Black Slayers.  I didn't tell him that I had history with the band.  Hindi naman na siguro importante iyon because its already part of my past and wala na siyang pakielam doon.

     I took several deep breaths kasi talagang para akong hindi makahinga.  I took my phone and called Maddie.  Hindi pa niya alam na nandito ako.  Napangiti agad ako ng marinig ko siyang nag - hello.

    "Maddie." It is so nice to hear her voice. 

    "Ciara?" Parang hindi siya makapaniwala.

    Napangiti ako.  "Yes.  How are you, cuz?"

    "Oh my god!" At malakas na sumigaw si Maddie. "Ciara! I missed you!"

    "I missed you, too.  San ka?  Kita tayo."

    "Shoot.  I can't go out.  Walang yaya si Keith.  Gusto mo punta ka na lang dito sa house?  Pasundo kita sa driver," sabi niya.

    "No need.  I'll go there.  See you," at pinatayan ko na siya ng telepono.

    Napahinga ako ng malalim.  Maybe I need to face this.  Those memories, I need to face it para masabi ko talaga sa sarili ko na okay na ako.

    Malayo pa lang ang sinasakyan kong taxi ay nakita ko ng nasa labas ng gate si Maddie kasama ang anak niya.  Alam kong hinihintay niya ang pagdating ko.  Hindi ko mapigil ang hindi mapangiti.  My cousin is the look of a happily married woman.  Maganda pa rin.  Mukhang hindi binibigyan ng problema ni Lars.

     "Oh my god! I really can't still believe this!" Masayang sabi niya at agad na yumakap sa akin ng makababa ako sa taxi.

     "I missed you, too." Sabi ko at bumaling ako kay Keith.  "Is this your son already?  Grabe ang laki na agad.  Ang bilis ng panahon." Sabi ko.

     "Keith.  He is going to celebrate his birthday this Saturday.  Kailangan nandoon ka.  Kakainis ka.  Bakit ngayon ka lang nagparamdam?" Himig nagtatampo siya.

    "I was busy," iyon na lang ang sagot ko.

    "I don't know where to find you.  Gusto ko pa naman ninang ka ni Keith pero kahit fb, instagram kahit nga tweeter wala ka.  Ano ba 'yun?" Kandahaba pa ang nguso ni Maddie.

     Natawa ako.  "Busy nga.  Maraming trabaho."

     "Are you going to stay here for good?" Tanong niya.

     Umiling ako.  If I had a choice, I won't be coming back in this place.  I don't want to see those faces.  Ang dami kasing memories.

     "David just need to finish some work here. Pinilit lang niya akong sumama," sabi ko.

    Nangunot ang noo ni Maddie.  "Sino naman si David?"

    Ngumiti ako at ipinakita ako ang daliri kong may engagement ring.

    Pero imbes na matuwa, parang hindi masayang balita ang nalaman ni Maddie.  Kunot na kunot ang noo niya na para bang problema ang ipinakita ko.

     "Shit. You're engaged?" Parang hindi siya makapaniwala.

     "Yeah.  Our wedding is exactly a month from now." Sabi ko.

     Kitang - kita ko ang pagkagulat at lungkot sa mukha ni Maddie.

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