•justins pov•
i woke up from the best nap i had in a while. i dreamed of raegan being here with me. i missed him a lot since i just came back from tour. he's probably not up yet so i went go get some breakfast.
i put on my panda onesie and hopped downstairs to meet my dad standing in the kitchen, i smiled and went straight for the fruit loops. damn i missed my family and the fruit loops ;) i poured myself a lot of cereal and then obviously followed by the milk and i went to sit down in the living room which to my surprise danny was sitting there. at the moment me and danny weren't really as close as we used to be, since our fall out it's just been really awkward between us.
*flashback*
me and tish were sat in the living room alone. we had the whole house to our self, dad and danny wouldn't be back for a bit anyway so we talked as we passed along the weed, smoking was a thing i'd often do, not like i'm doing anything wrong right? it's not harmful to my body or whatever. it just calmed me down.
i turned some music on and jammed along to it with tish,
'this weed is the fucking shit!!!' i laughed as i took a large puff it.
me and tish both laughed and i passed it to her.
i must of lost track of time as the key to the front door clicked and the door was wide open and there stood danny. he stared at me in disgust as i tried to hide the weed as fast as i could. he stood there his eyes glaring at me and tish, a slight look of disappointment flashing in his eyes. slowly he walked towards us as i looked him in the eye. i was scared, i didn't know what to do, a paralysis of fear filled my body. i didn't know what to do, what to say, what to think.
danny was always against drugs, he thought they were stupid, there was no point in them. he hated people who did them, well that's what he told me anyway. but i knew the real reason. his best friend overdosed on drugs, he never really got over it. he still blames himself for it he thinks that he should of been there for him, he thinks that he could of stopped it. i promised him that i wouldn't do any kind of drugs and i guess sometimes promises break right?
i watched his eyes start to water as tears trickled down his face.
'i can't believe you justin.' he mumbled. he quickly ran up the stairs clutching his coat tightly and slamming his bedroom door shut.
a tear ran down my face. i just betrayed my best friend, my twin.
'it's not even that much of a deal, he's such a drama queen. that's why nobody likes him.' tish moaned, rolling her eyes.
'are you actually serious? what the fuck. just get out my house right now . i can't believe you just said that.' i stared at her in disbelief.
'um? alright then justin calm down' she chuckled slightly, stood up and walked out the door slamming it shut behind her.
i sat on the floor, crying, what have i just done.
*end of flashback*
i walked to the couch and sat down, i ate my cereal quietly. i looked over at danny, he was just looking into space.
'morning' i smiled.
'morning' he said back as he stood up and walked up the stairs.
my smile quickly turned into a frown, i don't know how many times i've apologised to him, i've stopped doing weed just for him. i know i shouldn't of done it and ive tried to tell him that, but he just ignores me, pretends that i'm not there.
to be honest raegan is the only person keeping me happy right now and i don't know what i would do without him, i just can't imagine a world without him right now and i'd hate to know that here's not with me everyday.
i finished my cereal and headed upstairs to go take a shower because we were going out for a family meal later on.
i loved the shower. it relaxed me and i could just forget about all my thoughts and let the warm water fall down my body and obviously i could sing to my hearts content. like come on everyone sounds like a singer in the shower. after about half an hour i got out the shower and looked at my chest in the mirror.
i couldn't believe how good it looked, i was so so happy that i got top surgery it made me feel more like me, to not have to wear a binder all the time. i didn't have to care about my chest anymore because to me it was perfect.
i put on my jeans and a white shirt to go along with it. i never used to wear shirts because you could always see my binder through them, but now i was free and was able to wear whatever i wanted.
i unlocked the bathroom door and went to sit onto my bed to find myself grabbing my phone and going through all my social media. my fans are the best thing that ever happened to me and without them i'd be nowhere and i love them with all my heart. i looked through my instagram feed, damn i really loved the edits they made for me. they're so cute. i was scrolling further until i came along raegans post i obviously liked it and read the caption. 'sometimes it's hard to lie to try and pretend when it's not really genuine'
i sat they're staring at my phone, confused about what he was saying. i quickly texted him to see what was wrong.
'hey babeh. i love you. hope you had a good sleeppp!!! i saw your insta post. are you okay? do you want to talk about it? xxx'
i put my phone down and nervously waited for a reply and in an instance i got a reply which was weird as raegan should be asleep right now.
'i didn't sleep. i stayed up all night thinking about it, i waited for you to text me. ugh. i have no idea how to tell you this. recently i haven't felt the same, it's been different. and i can't give you what you need justin. i can't treat you good enough. so i guess this is a goodbye. i love you but i'm sorry i have to break it off with you goodbye justin.'
my heart sunk inside of my chest as a large weight draped across my shoulders, tears came strolling out of my eyes like a never ending waterfall. i stared at the text i got, making sure
i read it right, and the more i read it, the more angry and upset i got.
i lost my only source of happiness.
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writing this made me so emotional omg :') anyway how'd you like this fanfiction so far? should i carry on? ~magie :)
