Me and Ai

Chapter 78: Coma

Manager-san returns after some time and sees Kaori sleeping beside Ai's bed. "Those two are quite unrepeatable. I do wish that Mikaze would wake up soon; everyone is really worried about you."

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The clouds...they're beautiful as always. They float gently across the blue sky with the calm breeze that blows in one direction; the ground reflects the sky and it appears as if I'm walking in the sky. I'm here in this place again...then that means that I lost consciousness and it means that I'll be meeting him here again.

Just like in my previous dreams, I start walking towards one direction. I always thought that it never mattered which way I'd go since everything looked the same no matter where I went so I'd always just choose a random direction and walk straight until I'd meet Aine.

"Where are you going?"

The voice came from behind me so I immediately stopped walking and turned around.

"Aine."

"So where were you going, Ai?"

"I was just walking hoping to find you as usual."

"This place is the link of our consciousness; we're bound to meet one way or another. Well...as long as you're unconscious like me of course."

"Aine, it's you. You're the one whose erasing my memories, am I right?"

"Memories? Your data? Yes, it's my fault." Aine lets out a small sad smile.

"And those times when I'd shut down all of a sudden?"

"That was me as well."

"Why?! Why are you doing t—"

"Because, like I said before, I wanted you to stop. I told you that I was tired. I told you that I didn't want to feel any more pain!"

"Pain?"

"You and uncle are so unfair. I wanted to die but you two won't let me...No one ever listens to me; everyone just decides everything for me! You're all cruel!"

"Aine, there are a lot of people who care about you and they want you to live. When they found you unconscious, they were all genuinely worried about you; they wanted you to wake up. You're still too young to die. You still have a long life ahead of you!"

"I was alive but I stopped living the moment that they stopped listening to me! I enjoyed being an idol but all they did was dictate what I should be doing and flooded me with work. At first, I was able to put up with it but then they started to tell me how to sing and how to act; they were controlling every aspect of my being and life. I wasn't enjoying anymore; I couldn't even be myself at work anymore. The songs started to feel empty and their expectations grew too much. I couldn't handle it anymore...I felt like my whole being was chained down...I wanted everything to stop."

I don't know what to say to him...I don't know how to comfort him; I'm not good with this. What would Kaori say if she was here? She was always good with conveying her feelings and thoughts unlike me; she would know what to do at this moment.

"Ai."

"Yes?"

"Tell me, were you enjoying your life? How was your life?"

"My life?"

I started to think about the events of my life so far. Where do I start?

"I remember the first time I opened my eyes at the lab. The first person that I saw was the professor; he was smiling with tears falling from his eyes. He was overjoyed with his success in creating me; he even hugged me at that time and I remember that he felt warm. Then I remember him telling me his reason for creating me; I was a replacement for you. I was then raised in the same way that you were raised. I took lessons for composing, singing, and dancing—I learned everything that you were supposed to know. I didn't mind and in fact I was indifferent about everything even when they told me that I had to become an idol. However, as I got to learn more about music, I became interested in it and learned to enjoy it. When I became a professional, I was okay with everything since I was working with music however...there were times when I lost interest or motivation. Hmm...but I'd find a way to get back on track and continue on. I think that I was mostly indifferent with everything that happened in my life. There were times when I felt "sad" but I guess I was occasionally "happy" when I was working with music and with discovering new knowledge."