Innocence

Part 1

'I'm cold.' I shivered, watching as the fair hair on my arms stand on edge as the breeze ran up my arm. It was my thirteenth birthday, and I had spent it just like the rest, I didn't have a party, or a family meal - I spent it with Louis. We were sitting on a bench, huddled next to each other, watching the lonely waves rest upon the sand for what seemed like hours. Louis shifted from his position, not taking his weary eyes off the blanket of deep water. 'Here' he said,his voice husky. He took off his red oversized hoodie in one movement, draping it over my shoulders in another. I smiled, taking one a look at his eyes. They were the color of the sea, I was sure if I looked close enough I could see waves roll around those ebony pupils. Louis smirked, Leaning back into the bench and wrapping his arms around himself. I gazed back at the horizon, the sunset would be here soon. This was the highlight of my year, the silence was flawless, the smell made me feel safe, he... He made me feel happy. I felt my eyes droop, falling over my eyes like a waterfall. I felt peace, I felt at ease. All untill he said my name. "Y/n."
My heart skipped a little, his voice bringing me out of my sweet trance. He was still looking forward, his eyes a little watery- though it was hard to see since the clouds came Rolling overhead, blocking our light. 'Yeah?' He clenched his jaw, making me feel a little strange. At that moment, I knew something was wrong, I could feel it. My eyes wandered down to his hands, which were fiddling with each other - I would've laughed at it if the atmosphere didn't feel so weird. Louis sighed, releasing something scary in the air, I didn't like what was going on, something felt off. 'Y/n.' He said again, laced with what sounded like regret. 'I'm sorry, just remember I'm sorry. For the years that will come, when I won't even look at you, when you think I've forgotten you. Just know I'm sorry.' He blurted out, not even stammering. It took me while to process everything untill I was both upset and confused. 'What?' I said, sitting up from my slouch and looking at his face. A single tear escaped from his glass eyes, running down his sun kissed cheek. Louis brought up his hand, catching the droplet before it could fall into his chest. My memories were blurry, but I remembered what he said, word for word, I could even remember the way his voice sounded. "You see this?' He asked, his voice cracking a little as he tilted his hand untill the tear drop shimmered. "This means I'm alive, that my heart is beating, that I have a soul.' He told me, his voice both calming and heartbreaking at the same time. I watched intently at his face, which seemed to be crumbling as the seconds passed. 'Soon. I won't be the same. You can't trust me. Y/n, whatever I do, you cannot trust me," he continued, running his hands through his hair in distress. I remembered how I felt, I couldn't speak, just listened to those last deadly words of nonesense. Everything around me faded away, the smell that I found comfort in, the silence, it had all disappeared. 'But you can trust me on this. That this will be the last time you talk to me, the last time you will be this close to me. And I promise, whatever you find out... I'll never hurt you." My breath hitched, as I felt the tears in my own eyes form. if I only I knew that this was the last time I'd see him next to me, so close I could feel his heartbeat. Another tear drop fell from him, the last one he'd ever have. Louis smiled and stood up abruptly, taking in a deep breath before gazing into the sinking colors of the sun. Now this, this was the thing I remembered best, the thing I wanted to forget, the thing that could still to this day make me disappear into a puddle of tears. I wish I knew, that this was the last thing he'd ever say to me. 'Goodbye y/n.."