Willy Wonka x Reader

Sweet Tooth

"In which he dies," Prodnose adds.

"Yeah, no, I got that already," the Chief responds.

"You don't have to keep saying it," Fickelgruber tells Prodnose.

"Well, I'm just making sure we're all on the same page," Prodnose replies.

"Well, no one's on your page," Fickelgruber insults him.

"What's that supposed to mean? Well, I know what it mean—actually, what does it mean?" the idiotic chocolatier asks.

"Gentlemen, please!" Slugworth stops them. "So what do you say, Chief? Do we have a deal?"

"Listen, fellas, I am an officer of the law. I can't just go around roughing up your competition. I'm sorry," the Chief replies.

"Well now, Chief. . ." Slugworth starts before patting the empty spot on the couch next to him rhythmically, with Miss Bon-bon and the butler making a musical rhythm as well, and the Chief sits next to him. "I can see that you're a man of integrity."

"Thank you," the Chief replies.

"But ask yourself this. . ." Slugworth says.

Miss Bon-bon stamps some paper, the stamp saying "Paid With Chocolate."

"Have you got a sweet tooth?" Slugworth sings.

"I do," the Chief sings.

"A hunger that you have to feed?" Slugworth sings.

"Have you got a sweet tooth?" Fickelgruber sings as he sits on the coffee table.

"I do," the Chief sings.

"Well, we've got everything you need," Fickelgruber sings as he offers the Chief the olive from his martini.

Prodnose suddenly appears from behind the couch.

"Don't give me that conscience nonsense," he sings.

"It's simply quid pro quo," the three chocolatiers sing.

"So, a hundred of your favorites?" Slugworth sings, gesturing to the bar, where the butler is carrying a tray with a lot of boxes of chocolate.

The Chief looks tempted for a second, but then he shakes his head.

"Sorry, I'm afraid it's no," he sings, and he stands up from the couch and backs away toward the door. "I promised the wife I'd cut down on chocolate, you know, I gotta get in shape for the policeman's ball."

When he turns toward the door, he is met with Fickelgruber and Prodnose.

"But think about your sweet tooth," they sing.

"I do.
I've had it since I was a boy," he sings, almost looking like he's ashamed of it.

Slugworth appears behind him.

"Your naughty little sweet tooth," he sings.

"It's true," the Chief sings.

"The only thing that brings you joy," Slugworth sings.

He, Fickelgruber, and Prodnose circle the Chief.

"Don't look at your waistline.
It's fine!" they sing.

"Come on!" the Chief says.

"Who needs to see their toes?" the chocolatiers sing.

"So, seven hundred boxes?" Slugworth sings.

The chocolatiers show the Chief the seven hundred boxes of chocolate the butler is carrying, and the Chief whistles, looking like he's staring at Heaven. Slugworth holds his hand out for the Chief to shake, and the Chief lifts his hand, not taking his eyes off the boxes.

"That's a lot of chocolate. . ." he sings, but his conscience stops him. "No!"

He tries to leave, but the chocolatiers stop him.

"Very well, let's give him the big sell!" Slugworth says as he, Fickelgruber, and Prodnose prepare to give the Chief the big sell.

Miss Bon-bon dims the lights, making three spotlights appear on the chocolatiers, who are now carrying fans.

"Have you got a sweet tooth? Me too," they sing.

"Fellas—" the Chief tries to reason with them.

"Have you got the hots for chocs?" they sing.

"I do, really, yeah," the Chief replies.

"Do you think that candy's dandy?" they sing.

"Oh, yeah," the Chief replies.

"Well, we've got lots and lots and lots and
Lots and lots and lots!" they sing.

"Why am I singing?!" the Chief suddenly realizes as Slugworth, Fickelgruber, and Prodnose pull him into their dance.

Miss Bon-bon has confetti fall from the ceiling.

"If the wife's complaining. . ." the chocolatiers sing.

"Body-shaming. . ." Prodnose sings.

"It's amazing what a tailor can conceal," Fickelgruber sings as he gives the Chief a tailor's business card.

"Keep your wretched chocolates!" the Chief sings.

"Eighteen hundred boxes?" Slugworth sings as he offers his hand, the butler rolling out eighteen hundred boxes of chocolate.

"Oh, deal!" the Chief sings and takes Slugworth's hand—then winces in pain as Slugworth gives him a real bone-crusher.