When a backfire backfires

When a backfire backfire

Most of the time, Jean-Luc Picard had control over his reactions. He was diplomatic, he knew how to handle complicated situations, he knew how to respond (with experience) to provocation and hostility. He dealt with anyone who tried to break his stern figure without a blink, humans or not. No one could succeed to have an irrational reaction out of him this easily. No one.

Except one.

Q was the exception, and not in a good way. He would make Picard have reactions he didn't want to have. Gets to his nerves like nobody else.

The captain of the Enterprise really despised that. The way the entity could make him lose his cool, remind him of his younger self, somewhat see behind his serious self. It made him lose his mind. The spite, the unreasonable reactions and the anger he would take out of him like no one else was so infuriating.

But the worse was the way Q understood him so much, that they were more alike than Picard would ever admit they were. It was what pushed the most irrational anger out of him.

Well, that wasn't all the reasons why he disliked him of course. There was also the fact that he had put his crew in danger many times, was self-centered, megalomaniac and was always with his trials and stupid games. But that was the reason he was somehow special to the Frenchman, why this kind of hatred was so different from the one he had for others.

And maybe that's why Picard was more keen than he wanted to to listen when an ensign decided that he needed his advice.

It was a few days after an apparition of Q while they were facing cultural misunderstandings with a species they wanted to start contact with. And while Q did not worsen the situation per se, he certainly did not help. He passed the whole event mocking the crew, the species "inferior" to him and, mostly, Picard.

However, this time, he didn't seem to have somewhat of an excuse to have come bothering them. Which Picard could have investigated about, but he decided there was no reason to, the entity rarely had good excuses to come so this wasn't so out of the ordinary.

The entire encounter was as exasperating as the ones before, but this time was different, because this time, a new ensign was there, an ensign who found the need to help Picard with it.

And so he came to the quarters of his captain off-shift.

"What can I do for you?" Had asked Jean-Luc, a recomforting cup of hot Earl Grey well-earned after a long and tiring shift in his hands.

"Permission to speak candidly, sir?"

"Go ahead."

"I do not wish to appear as impertinent or nosy, sir, but it occurred to me that you had a problem that maybe I could be of some sort of help." Said the ensign, a bit nervous about how he was going to talk with his captain.

Picard was doubtful, but curious to hear him.

"I listen."

"I was bullied in primary and high school, sir, and so I had to find some ways of defending myself."

Picard was now very confused as to why he was telling him this, but he nodded.

"With this experience, sir, I would advise you to flirt with the entity named Q." Finally blurted out the ensign.

Despite not having begun to drink his tea, Jean-Luc nearly choked.

"I'm sorry?!"

The ensign seemed to understand that he may not have formulated what he was trying to say like he would have wanted, and he smiled awkwardly.