when you wanted me

i knew you

adam pulled a wired earbud out of his ear as the barista calls his name for his coffee. he knows people probably recognize him, but this coffee shop is too small in too empty of a town for him to care.

he's been gone for a minute now.

he left everything he's ever known back in la as he made his way through california. slowly, he was making his way out.

he's never found so much peace alone. his relationship with behati, or whatever was left of it, was gone. it's not that she wasn't the perfect wife for him, she was. he was just too fucked in the head to give her what she needed. a good husband who would stay by her side and give her kids and a white picket fence dream. expect he never gave her any of that. he only gave her himself, and all the problems he came with.

he should go out, go clubbing like his friends wanted. touch some skin and maybe all his wounds would heal. but he couldn't stand the thought of anyone touching him. he didn't want love from anyone. he wasn't even sure he ever wanted it from behati.

there was something so deeply wrong with him. the way he was always sad. the way he wanted to always be sad. as if it was comforting for him. he was destined for misery.

he wondered how far the universe would drive him away before someone missed him.

he took his coffee and walked back to his car. the little town in san jose he was staying in was nice. barely any people, nice weather, and quietness. and lots of it.

he drove for a few minutes, his guitar sitting in his back seat while he sipped on some coffee. he had never felt more depressed in his life. but somehow, in these moments, he thought... this is living. he was sad, but he was free to be sad. no need to mask it no need to hide. he can simply be.

he parked at the side of a road by a small path. kicking his shoes off, he grabbed his guitar and walked the path to the small, quiet, and clear pond. he didn't know how much time usually passes while he's here, but he sat for what felt like hours strumming and crying his heart out.

he made his way back to the car, feeling relieved as ever. he never took his phone with him for the mere chance that anyone would disturb his peace. not that anyone ever did call or text him.

he knows it's his fault. he disappeared and never told anyone a word. he didn't respond to those worried texts or calls then, why should he expect them now?

he picked his phone up to see if his favorite restaurant down by the river was still open, but what he was surprised to see was 6 notifications. 2 of which were calls. followed by 4 messages.

it was none other than blake shelton. a man he hasn't heard a word from since long before he ran away.

him and blake had serious tensions before he left the voice. adam believes that it was obvious to everyone. when he talked to blake about leaving, he didn't even bat an eye. all that "we leave together" bullshit was all for good press.

the day he left the voice he never heard from blake again. and suddenly it felt like that bromance best buddies bubble popped, and all he was staring back at was the shattered remains of what was all just an illusion.

he waited until he got home and showered to open the texts. he laid in bed in his underwear in the dark room. he knows he shouldn't let blake invade in the space he built for himself.

nevertheless he opened the texts with anticipation. he was ready for the worst, thinking there was no other reason for blake to be reaching out again. the texts read:

hey adam it's blake

i know it's been a while and i hope your doing good

thought i would call and tell you gwen and i are engaged

i want to see u again. cant have a wedding without my life partner

adam stared at the phone for a bit. he couldn't really describe how he felt. shocked wasn't really the right word. he knew blake and gwen would most probably eventually get married. but what threw him off guard was the way blake talked to him. it was so unfamiliar to him.

"it's blake" - as if he had reason to believe adam deleted his number. maybe he should have.

"i know it's been a while" - was an understatement. it has been years. why would he care.

"cant have a wedding without my life partner" - that almost makes adam want to cry. because it's true. adam and blake were there for each other for so many new and scary things. they joined the voice together. they stuck around together. they helped each other through divorces and breakups, heartbreak and happiness. that was until blake threw it all away.

part of him misses blake and their friendship. but the other part can't get over the betrayal. the way he replaced him with gwen so fast. as if his presence was never even there.

gwen gave him more than he could, apparently.

he considered not answering, but decides against it. after all, he needs to have some form of human communication.

he decides to reply with a

congratulations

i'm on the road right now

he tries to set the tone for blake so maybe he'll get the hint. instead he gets an immediate response seconds later, as if blake was sitting by his phone all day waiting on adams response.

you touring?

blake knows he's not. but i guess they're gonna play this game.

no

just on my own

well don't get too lonely out there rockstar

i meant it when i said i miss you

you just missing me now or did you miss me 3 years ago?

he couldn't help being petty.

adam

we left things at a bad spot and i'm not proud of it

why don't we meet up and talk

just a chance to catch up

idk

i'm kind of busy

and i'm far from la

ok i'll come to you

just tell me where you are

damn he was being persistent. and if adam was telling the truth, he really missed him. he wanted even to just smell him again.

as he lay in his bed he sent a location pin to blake.

text me when you're coming through.

he saw the typing bubbles for a good few seconds before blake replied with:

i cant wait to see you :)

maybe it was because he hasn't spoken to or touched anyone in months. or maybe it was because he was finally gonna make contact with someone. but something about this interaction was making adam excited.

but excited in a strange way.

he was shocked realizing his cock had hardened.

fully hard and throbbing. he reached his hand down and instant pleasure hit him.

he wasn't sure what got into him but he couldn't stop himself. he took his other hand and gently squeezed his balls. they felt so full they almost hurt. he hasn't done this in a while.

he tried to picture a porn magazine in his head. instead "i cant wait to see you :)" kept replaying in his head. he stroked himself faster and faster until he came all over his hand.

he went to bed thinking nothing of it.