Dear Jonah

Part 1

Dear Jonah,

It's been a while since we saw each other. How are you?

Sound so cheesy. Amy hit the erase button. She tries again.

Dear Jonah,

I didn't get from you for a while now. Me and the kids are doing fine here. And I really want to know how are you doing? Are you single not single? Do you get any job? Do you go back to your parents' house? How's Marilyn handling the divorce?

Amy hit the erase button again. This time a little harder so that the words are erasing faster. There's too much question she wanted to ask Jonah. Since their Cloud9 store in St Louis has been closed, she just worries about his wellbeing. Or rather, she really tries not to admit it, that she just misses him. She tries to write him an email but somehow, she cannot put it properly into words.

"Hey mom," Emma is standing in front of the door of Amy's office in her pajamas. "What are you doing?" Emma asks while staring at the laptop monitor.

"Nothing," Amy closes the laptop hurriedly. "Why are you still up? There's school tomorrow,"

"I just finished reading Parker the bedtime story. You're the one who told me to do it," Emma says with a slightly pitchy tone. "Oh right, sorry," Amy apologises.

"You're trying to write to Jonah again?" Emma asks as she thinks she saw the name written at the top of the email.

"Well, I.....Maybe," Amy tries to deny it. "Mom, I told you, you can just call him or Facetime or whatever. I know you miss him,"

"No it's not that, it just.."

"Just what?"

Amy didn't say anything. She awkwardly putting her arms around her body. Then she sits at the sofa next to the table.

"I didn't tell you about the thing that happen that day aren't I?" she asks Emma, her hand awkwardly again put over her thighs.

"No, I tried to ask you that day when you came back from St Louis but you just went straight to your room," Emma says, she goes and sits next to her mother. "What's wrong?" she asks, putting her hand over her mother's shoulder because she looks like she's going to cry.

"I messed up," the tears come out as Amy talks. "I asked him if he wants to marry me, because before we moved to California he planned to propose to me but I told him that I don't want to marry him," tears are rolling down Amy's cheek.

"Why did you say that? I thought you love him," Emma says, handing over the tissues to her crying mother.

"At that time, I was overwhelmed with the job, the sudden transfer, you and Parker, and somehow the idea of him proposing to me. I asked him if he can move with us to California and we just see how it goes, but..." Amy sniffs and blows her nose with the tissues Emma gave her.

"It seems that it's already over for us," Amy keeps crying. She has been holding the feeling for so long it doesn't seem to be stopping.

Emma throws her arms around Amy. "There, there," Emma says while patting Amy's back. "I'm so sorry I didn't know."

"It's okay," Amy let go of the hug, still sniffling. "It's not your fault. You're just a child. I need to handle this on my own, so.."

"Mom. I'm 17. I'm not a child anymore. It's fine, you can rely on me," Emma says while looking straight to her mother's eyes.

Amy smiles. Since when her daughter has grown to be such a fine adult?

"Go sleep tonight okay. We'll figure something tomorrow," Emma says that with plenty of assurances. Amy somehow feels relieve and stops crying.

"Okay," Amy nods, wiping her leftover tears over her cheeks. Emma smiles at her. "Good. So goodnight and I'll see you in the morning,"

"Okay," Amy chuckles. It seems the role has reverse here. She was the one been comforted by Emma.

They wish each other good night before they walk out from the office and go to their respective bedrooms. Amy goes to Parker's crib and kisses him good night before she goes to bed. She feels her mind are clearer now. She glad that she had that talk with Emma. She looks at her phone and search for Jonah's number, but she doesn't dare to put her finger on it. "We'll figure something tomorrow," she mutters Emma's word and put her phone on the side table and goes to sleep.